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Posted By

NEW How do handle inviting/not inviting young children to the wedding???????

Annieb

"I'm Addicted"

MEMBER SINCE
9/02

1099 TOTAL POSTS

WEDDING DATE
9/2/2003 12:00 AM

WEDDING LOCATION
Long Island

I don't mind children over a certain age (like 3 or 4) being at my wedding and, i plan to invite them. HOWEVER, i am really afraid of a screaming baby ruining my ceremony! It seems like my family members just assume that their children will be attending the wedding (even babies only a few months old). How do i solve this situation...how can i make it clear that children under a certain age are not invited without offending anyone??? How did everyone handle this? The problem is that some families have children of various ages (some of which are in my bridal party) how do i invite some of their kids and not all???
Even my parents have said that this will be considered a "rude" and offensive act on my part...i can't understand this...they are paying a small fortune for my wedding and don't care if a baby screams through the whole thing???
 
 
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NEW Re: How do handle inviting/not inviting young children to the wedding???????

radiostar

Board Fanatic

MEMBER SINCE
1/03

697 TOTAL POSTS

WEDDING DATE
Sep 19 2003

WEDDING LOCATION
NY

I'm sure you already have your time locked down....but, what I did was. . . .have an evening wedding so late until parents wouldn't dare bring them. That's how I avoided it! (I have a lot of guests with LOTS of kids!)

Another thing is, delicately print on your invites, ADULT RECEPTION FOLLOWING CEREMONY!

Hope that helps!
 
 
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NEW Re: How do handle inviting/not inviting young children to the wedding???????

OctBride03

OctBride03

My Baby!

MEMBER SINCE
9/02

6694 TOTAL POSTS

WEDDING DATE
10/19/2003 4:00 PM

WEDDING LOCATION
Fox Hollow

I have 5 children in the actual wedding, ranging from ages 3 - 11... to make peace... we will be "allowing" our cousins (one his and one mine), to bring their sons both are about 5. My uncle's wife recently had a baby who will be a year when I get married. They are already planning on who will be babysitting!

I'm with you! NO screaming babies! I do not want baby carraiges, baby bottles, diaper bags or anything hanging around. Sorry if that sounds awful!!! I totally LOVE kids, but I have to end it somewhere!

OH - the two cousins who may bring their sons - will ONLY be if they question it... otherwise the invite will not state AND FAMILY...

hope this makes sense!
 
 
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NEW Re: How do handle inviting/not inviting young children to the wedding???????

Thrilled

"I'm Addicted"

MEMBER SINCE
7/02

2276 TOTAL POSTS

WEDDING DATE
Sep 6 2003

WEDDING LOCATION
Christ the King RC Church, Commack

Well I felt that we couldn't exclude the babies and include all the other kids so we said no to ALL kids. Period. Did it pi$$ people off? Absolutely. But we are standing our ground and people will get over it. We basically spread the word through family members and when asked, flat out said, although as nicely as possible, that we were not inviting children. Most said "Oh I totally understand" but a few, my cousin included, made a big #$%^ deal out of it and dragged my family into it. I'm still mad at her over it but whatever.

Be firm is all I can say.
 
 
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NEW Re: How do handle inviting/not inviting young children to the wedding???????

Annieb

"I'm Addicted"

MEMBER SINCE
9/02

1099 TOTAL POSTS

WEDDING DATE
9/2/2003 12:00 AM

WEDDING LOCATION
Long Island

Thanks for the advice girls Did you tell your family members orally...or did you put on the invitation something like "no kids under X?" I am most concerned about the ceremony and not as much about the reception where i feel it will be noisier and have less of an impact.

i think that not inviting any kids would really be impossible for me so i just want to eliminate those that are too young to know better

This week i will be speaking to the mother of my flower girl (my cousin)...i know she already assumes that her newborn baby (who will be 8 mos at our wedding) is coming---how do i tell her no???? Do you think a two year old is ok???
 
 
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nrvbrd

Hyper One

MEMBER SINCE
10/02

5233 TOTAL POSTS

WEDDING DATE
9/6/2003 6:30 PM

WEDDING LOCATION
Coral House-Loved it!!!

I have been very verbal about not having children so that helps.

Also, I am including on my invite:

Adult Reception immediately following
 
 
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NEW Re: How do handle inviting/not inviting young children to the wedding???????

karen32

It's An Obsession

MEMBER SINCE
8/02

4505 TOTAL POSTS

WEDDING DATE
10/25/2003 1:30 PM

WEDDING LOCATION
Hamlet Windwatch Golf & Country Club

We are going to be very specific on the invites that it is for Mr. & Mrs. ONLY!!! Unfortunately, like you, I am most concerned about the ceremony. There is no way to stop people from bringing children to the church. I'm hoping that the parents will have enough sense to remove any screaming children during the ceremony.
 
 
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NEW Re: How do handle inviting/not inviting young children to the wedding???????

susans

susans

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MEMBER SINCE
12/01

1731 TOTAL POSTS

WEDDING DATE
1/25/2003

WEDDING LOCATION
Harrison House/Glen Cove

There's no way you're going to be able to do it without offending people.
You'll have some people that will be completely fine and get a sitter.
Other people will get completely ****ed off.
What can you do? It's your wedding. Stand your ground. It helps if you have your own family supporting you and spreading the word via word of mouth. My mother was no help at all because she couldn't bear the thought of offending anyone.
 
 
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regina2

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MEMBER SINCE
12/02

973 TOTAL POSTS

WEDDING DATE
11/8/2003 12:00 AM

WEDDING LOCATION
Westbury Manor

I just told my cousins that no kids were allowed. And to tell you the truth several thanked me, a night away from the kids.

In fact, before I even thought of it, one of my cousins wives came up to me and said "you dont want kids at your wedding trust me". And she has three that she wants to leave at home.

The only kids that I'm inviting are his nieces and my niece and nephew. And mine will be the youngest ( 18 months and 5years).

My wedding will wind up being big drink fest and would prefer not having too many kids...
 
 
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michele31

michele31

Molly Eva's Mommy

MEMBER SINCE
6/01

10676 TOTAL POSTS

WEDDING DATE
11/2/2002 12:00 AM

WEDDING LOCATION
The Hamlet Windwatch

You have to make a decision- to have children or not have them. You cannot pick and choice- except to ONLY include BP/niece/nephew/your own children. If you invite entire families except that some of the children will misbehave. A wedding is a long event and children get tired and bored. And that is totaly understandable. Trust me, people will be offended no matter what you do. You cannot tell someone that their 3 year old is included, but there 2 year old is not. Make a decision and stick to it. And when someone calls and says "I cannot come without my 4 year old" you have to say "I am really sorry but we are not having small children at our wedding and if I make an exception for one it is unfair to the other guests". I did break my rule for my cousin's 12 year old because she and my Aunt assumed for months that he could be her "date" and never bothered to ask me until the last minute. I didn't even want to deal with it at that point and my Mom told them that I was not happy about it.
 
 
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