Pregnant Bridesmaid/Maid of Honor

How do you feel about a Bridesmaid or Maid of Honor that is planning on getting pregnant withing the year before your wedding and will likely be pregnant (and miserable) during the planning process?

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid/Maid of Honor

IMHO: Who cares!

One cannot expect others to stop their lives for your wedding. It may be the center of your world right now, but not others.

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid/Maid of Honor

my best friend in florida is pregnant and is due two months before the wedding. I was a little upset, but got over it quickly.

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I agree 100%

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid/Maid of Honor

who cares!

see also: "No one cares about your wedding as much as you do."

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my sister is due in feb and my wedding is in july. i was really upset at first, because i felt like it took away from my special time, it is a big expensive burden to my parents, she will not be able to plan with me as much as i like, and my sister is anal about her weight. so many things bothered me, but i just think about how lucky i am to have another niece. i try to look at the positive over the negative even though it can still bother you!

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid/Maid of Honor

? Why would this matter ? I guess if she is due right at the time of the wedding, I would just assume that she won't be there, which is to bad.
But...it's a baby, a new life - much more important than my wedding day, so I guess I don't understand why this would matter.

ETA: I don't think my wedding day is not important! But having a Bridal party member that is pregnant doesn't change anything IMO.

Message edited 11/8/2005 3:23:07 PM.

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid/Maid of Honor

It's shouldn't matter!!!

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid/Maid of Honor

it would be totally selfish to ask a friend to not get pg because of my wedding. Like the other have said, not everyone elses world revolves around your wedding. I would be happy for my friend, not po'ed.

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid/Maid of Honor

I also wanted to add this:

How would you feel if they were planning on getting pregnant before you booked your wedding?

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid/Maid of Honor

I agree with you a 100%. Well said.

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I think it is completely ridiculous to advise someone NOT to concieve a child do to a WEDDING.. sheehs!

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IMHO - You can't ask someone to put their life on hold just because they're going to be in your bridal party.

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IMHO you can't ask someone else to put their family on hold because of one day... while of course we want everyone to be there, we can't begrudge our sisters or best friends' happiness just cause it puts a little glitch in ours...

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid/Maid of Honor

I agree that it is unfair to expect someone to stop their life for you.

That being said, my FSIL is due 8 days after my wedding. This is my FH's brother's wife (not FH's sister), and she is not in the BP. We picked our date last January and she made it very clear that after her sister's wedding in May they were going to start trying.

I have come to terms with it and am VERY happy for them! I was hurt at first and thought it was a bit selfish (due STRICTLY to the timing) she will be 9 months pregnant at the wedding and if the baby is early she and FBIL (FH's BM) will not be at the wedding. I thought this was unfair to FH and his brother, but hopefully all will workout and they will be there.

So the moral of the story is we need to be happy for those around us, and not forget that they have lives to lead besides our weddings.

And just tell her to plan ahead and not to be 9 months pregnant at the wedding!! That's not too much to ask right??

Message edited 11/8/2005 3:47:18 PM.

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid/Maid of Honor

I wouldn't care at all as long as she makes an effort to be there. It's a possible my FSIL/BM will be pregnant at our wedding (she and her husband are trying now) but I told her it doesn't matter. I can always have her wear a mommy-to-be BM dress!

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid/Maid of Honor

I understand that's your first reaction. But you aren't really thinking of your friend who is special enough to you to be in your wedding party. They do have very flattering maternity dresses out there.

When you think about she is just planning on conceiving? What happens if she has trouble and you have her wait till after next nov???? You never know how quickly or long it will take.

Are you just upset because she'll be miserable during your planning? I don't think just because we are brides we can play God.

IMO

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid/Maid of Honor

Being that I am a person who plans to conceive pretty soon after her wedding due to my age and family history, I can honestly say that there may be underlying reasons why she and her husband are choosing to conceive when she is. There may be a family history of problems. There may be time constraints or medical reasons. It could be a number of things.

My other feeling is that when a couple is getting married, they start their family the second they take thier vows. The continuation of this family manifests itself, (in many cases) in the creation of children. What better way to celebrate love and family than to include that love of family and children in your marriage ceremony?

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Sorry to intrude but I had this. There is no reason at all to be upset, my MOH gave birth this morning and I am getting married in 11 days.

I am and have always just been very happy for her and her husband.

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I agree! Also, I don't think pregnancy is neccessarily "miserable" for everyone, unless there are health problems involved. She won't be taking away from your day in anyway (its not like people are gonna be like- s c r e w the bride, that girl over there is pregnant!) Some people can't ever have children, so to me, even when it's not the right time or under bad circumstances for the parents, I still see it as a blessing that should be celebrated and supported. You're wedding will still be wonderful, and who's prettier in a picture than a glowing bride or pregnant woman?!

Message edited 11/8/2005 4:27:31 PM.

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid/Maid of Honor

Yes... she tends to complain a lot anyway so I am concerned that she will go through the motions but be miserable. It's not that she may be pregnant... it's just that based on her personality, I think it is unlikely she will be pleasant and have a good time.

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid/Maid of Honor

If she is a "Debbie Downer" in general, why have her in your party at all?

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We've grown up together and she's a good friend. I am not a bridezilla at all... I just feel it's a time for clelbration and I really want everyone to have a good time. I'm just concerned that she might be negative and/or not have fun and it will show.

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid/Maid of Honor

Having a baby is a joyous and VERY PRIVILEDGED part of life, there would be no reason for her to be negative and not have fun.

She's there for you to celebrate your occassion, another joyous occassion.

ETA: You can't control how people will act at a certain point in their life, or at your wedding - you can't expect everyone to be screaming with excitement, most especially since there are other things going on in their lives - family problems, illnesses, etc. - Whether she's pregnant or not - she may be miserable/unhappy for other reasons, and you cannot control/change that. Same goes for everyone else!

Message edited 11/8/2005 4:50:26 PM.

Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid/Maid of Honor

its shouldn't matter things happen, you can't stop people's lives