Husband and the Ex (Long)

Hi, Too embarassed to post under real name but I am feeling really jealous and depressed today. Husband dated his ex for many years, they have not been together for over 4 years but still remain in contact lately via email becuase I don't want her calling my home. He also owed her some money when they had a joint credit card. To make a long story short she send him an email telling him that he owes her the last 100 and then she will be out of his hair. He writes back to her maybe I don't want you out of my hair. I know I am being silly but how do I take this? Has this opened the door for her think he still cares for her? I am so confused and feel hurt, plus I can't tell him I know about the e:mail. I just feel that their relationship is over, why does he need to keep in contact with her

Husband and the Ex (Long)

Just last week I got a call from an Ex that I dated in college - he wanted to tell me he and his wife just had a baby. I have another Ex that I occasionally e-mail - but hubby knows about him and has met him. He has an Ex that I`ve met a few times, although I think he`s dropped contact with her and hasn`t been in touch over the past few years. I think the main thing is that these are all people that we liked as friends as well as lovers and we still value the friendship. It doesn`t necessarily have to be a threat to the relationship. They are also casual relationships - exchanging Christmas cards and maybe an e-mail or phone call once a year. However, I think the key is that it should be fully in the open. If he wants to be in touch with her it should be as double dates - dinner with you, hubby and her and a date. If that is not something you are comfortable with then hubby needs to put you first. He choose you, not her, and he has to be willing to give her up to keep you happy. The primary concern should be to protect your marriage and if he is doing something that threatens it he should stop. A private coorespondence / relationship has too much potential to turn intimate - she represents only good and none of the stress of a relationship. He already knows you don`t want her calling - ask him if the debt is almost paid off. Tell him how you feel about wanting him to END the contact once it`s paid. To begin with, I`d suggest you just let him know how you feel then let it drop - don`t argue for an agreement. You may have to eventually put your foot down, but just let him know your concerns first - no sense blowing it out of proportion if he`s willing to cut contact after considering your request for a bit. On a postitive note - she`s ready to get out of his hair, so it sounds like she`s not interested in him at all, other then getting her money back!!! That`s good!

Husband and the Ex (Long)

I agree with Karen. However, did you read a private email? Cause if you did, that could really get complicated. He may feel that you are not respecting his privacy. I would follow Karen's advice without telling him that you read his emails. And take it from there.

Husband and the Ex (Long)

I agree with the others that you need to get this out in the open. Unfortunately, I have a lot of experience with 'his ex', and it's not fun! Fortunately for me, it was a long time ago, before we were married, but it hurt just the same. If you need an ear to listen, or a should to cry on, let me know. I am sure that your husband's email was NOTHING to be worried about, and you will feel much better once you discuss it, but if not, I'm here for you. I've been there and can totally sympathize. (((Hugs to you!)))

Husband and the Ex (Long)

You should feel free to get things off your chest. Just keep in mind that he married you, not his ex.