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Wedding Forums > For Newlyweds Only > I dont know how I should feel about this
I dont know how I should feel about this
Future Mrs H Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:21 PM+
Future Mrs H MEMBER SINCE: 10/08 TOTAL POSTS : 22386 WEDDING DATE: Sep 18, 2010
Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:21 PM bride-minus.png

I dont know how I should feel about this

I just found out that my ex-husband has cancer of the esophagus. I had no reaction when I heard- it was like someone telling me the sky was blue. I wasnt like OMG! or I am sorry to hear that. All I said was ok.
Am I a cold hearted person? I never wish bad on him. But on the other hand I really dont care either.
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barbtony Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:23 PM+
barbtony MEMBER SINCE: 10/07 TOTAL POSTS : 7584 WEDDING DATE: Oct 10, 2010
Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:23 PM bride-minus.png

Re: I dont know how I should feel about this

I don't think you're cold hearted - I just think that you don't care - which I'm sure you have your reasons for.
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Im_My_Own_Princess Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:26 PM+
Im_My_Own_Princess MEMBER SINCE: 9/09 TOTAL POSTS : 8675 WEDDING DATE: Oct 09, 2010
Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:26 PM bride-minus.png

Re: I dont know how I should feel about this

i kinda agree with barb.

i dont think you're cold hearted, and i'm sure you have your reasons for not wanting to care.

but i think you do care. thats why you mentioned it.

like... you accept reality, he has cancer, its sad... but there is no more celia and EX... so you dont want to care.

does that make sense.

long story short. you're not a bad person. and i do hope he feels okay.
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Future Mrs H Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:30 PM+
Future Mrs H MEMBER SINCE: 10/08 TOTAL POSTS : 22386 WEDDING DATE: Sep 18, 2010
Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:30 PM bride-minus.png

Re: I dont know how I should feel about this

Posted by Im_My_Own_Princess


but i think you do care. thats why you mentioned it.

QUOTE]

I am posting it because I dont understand why I have absolutley no feelings about it. I thought I would at least feel a little bad about it
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kris_gets_hitched Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:31 PM+
kris_gets_hitched MEMBER SINCE: 3/09 TOTAL POSTS : 13924 WEDDING DATE: Jun 20, 2010
Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:31 PM bride-minus.png

Re: I dont know how I should feel about this

Given the few things you've said about him on here - which were all indicative of him being all sorts of bad/nasty - I think your reaction is perfectly normal.

You're not wishing bad things on him...which means you are healed of all the crud he put you through.

I'd focus more on the fact that you don't wish bad things on him, rather than the fact that you didn't think 'OMG, I'm sorry to hear that!'

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barbtony Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:34 PM+
barbtony MEMBER SINCE: 10/07 TOTAL POSTS : 7584 WEDDING DATE: Oct 10, 2010
Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:34 PM bride-minus.png

Re: I dont know how I should feel about this

Posted by Future Mrs H

I am posting it because I dont understand why I have absolutley no feelings about it. I thought I would at least feel a little bad about it


You probably don't have feelings about it because that part of your life is over. I wouldn't be concerned about it.
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JAAMS Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:36 PM+
JAAMS MEMBER SINCE: 3/09 TOTAL POSTS : 17042 WEDDING DATE: Nov 13, 2010
Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:36 PM bride-minus.png

Re: I dont know how I should feel about this

I don't think you're being cold hearted at all. I wouldn't worry about it.
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StaceyWill Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:36 PM+
StaceyWill MEMBER SINCE: 4/09 TOTAL POSTS : 11876 WEDDING DATE: May 15, 2010
Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:36 PM bride-minus.png

Re: I dont know how I should feel about this

Ummmm, you? Cold hearted? I don't think so. I just think you're numb towards him, which is totally normal and totally fine.
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Becca2010 Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:37 PM+
Becca2010 MEMBER SINCE: 6/09 TOTAL POSTS : 11642 WEDDING DATE: Oct 30, 2010
Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:37 PM bride-minus.png

Re: I dont know how I should feel about this

You're allowed not to care. It's what happens when people drain all of your emotions; they eventually lose them, so you feel nothing for them.

You're ok, don't worry.
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Future Mrs H Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:37 PM+
Future Mrs H MEMBER SINCE: 10/08 TOTAL POSTS : 22386 WEDDING DATE: Sep 18, 2010
Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:37 PM bride-minus.png

Re: I dont know how I should feel about this

Thanks girls! You all always make me feel good about everything.
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AngnShaun Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:40 PM+
AngnShaun MEMBER SINCE: 6/09 TOTAL POSTS : 24129 WEDDING DATE: Jul 16, 2010
Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:40 PM bride-minus.png

Re: I dont know how I should feel about this

Posted by Becca2010

You're allowed not to care. It's what happens when people drain all of your emotions; they eventually lose them, so you feel nothing for them.

You're ok, don't worry.


could not have said it better
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barbtony Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:47 PM+
barbtony MEMBER SINCE: 10/07 TOTAL POSTS : 7584 WEDDING DATE: Oct 10, 2010
Posted: Feb 18, 2011 02:47 PM bride-minus.png

Re: I dont know how I should feel about this

Posted by Becca2010

You're allowed not to care. It's what happens when people drain all of your emotions; they eventually lose them, so you feel nothing for them.



LOVE IT - EXACTLY RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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MongieToBe Posted: Feb 18, 2011 06:09 PM+
MongieToBe MEMBER SINCE: 7/09 TOTAL POSTS : 4845 WEDDING DATE: Aug 06, 2010
Posted: Feb 18, 2011 06:09 PM bride-minus.png

Re: I dont know how I should feel about this

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Thats-What-She-Said Posted: Feb 18, 2011 07:00 PM+
Thats-What-She-Said MEMBER SINCE: 11/09 TOTAL POSTS : 1835 WEDDING DATE: Jan 22, 2011
Posted: Feb 18, 2011 07:00 PM bride-minus.png

Re: I dont know how I should feel about this

I think that it will eventually hit you in some way.
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Byrne2Be Posted: Feb 19, 2011 12:32 PM+
Byrne2Be MEMBER SINCE: 1/10 TOTAL POSTS : 3895 WEDDING DATE: Oct 30, 2010
Posted: Feb 19, 2011 12:32 PM bride-minus.png

Re: I dont know how I should feel about this

Posted by MongieToBe

Posted by AngnShaun

Posted by Becca2010

You're allowed not to care. It's what happens when people drain all of your emotions; they eventually lose them, so you feel nothing for them.

You're ok, don't worry.


could not have said it better


i couldn't either. perfectly said


i agree with the wholeheartedly. i also think it may hit you different ways at different times....or maybe not. bottom line - you feel (or don't feel) the way you do for a reason.
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