I need some advice.

My friend has the habit of planning things, that, well, never go according to plan. And sometimes, I feel she has the nerve to ask people to do certain things...

We're going to PA next weekend, a place called the hideout, where her parents have a house. My aunt lives there too, so I was going to go up with one of my friends a day ahead of everyone and see my Aunt. I tell my friend this, and she tells me 10 people in total are coming, and she only has 6 guest passes, and wonders if my Aunt can give us hers.

This is where its too much of a big deal to ask:I won't ask my Aunt. My Aunt is a little on the tough side and I know for a fact she would only give one to me (maybe my friend too, if they get along which I don't see why they wouldn't), but not to people she doesn't know. If it were my other Aunt, she'd do it, but not this one, and I already know the things she'll say to me.

Not to mention, my friend has all these 'activities' planned, which me, and another friend (who just had gastric bypass) can't do for health reasons, and her response was. 'So?', and laughed.

The last couple of functions she gets so controlling over everything and will look down on anyone who doesn't want to go along with the plan.

I just don't get it; she has also done other things recently that really upset me; like insisting to have a glass of wine because 'our parents didn't have these rules' and she wants to be Godmother of my child - honestly how rude can you be? And if I sit and tell her she's acting that way to me, she runs to mommy and daddy about it.

With this particular friend, it's hard because our parents are friends, we grew up together, so normally, with any other friend, I usually put my foot down and tell them off. With her I can't because it's that kind of ripple effect that I don't want.

Re: I need some advice.

This girl sounds like a pill and a half...

Honestly, I would do your best to 'desensitize' yourself from your friend, if that makes sense. Since you can already anticipate certain behaviors from her, just don't let it get to you, because that only leaves you feel frustrated.

As for the pass situation, I would just tell the girl that unfortunately your Aunt is unable to give up the passes, and your friend will have to make other arrangements for any other people.

Since this is her trip to plan, let her handle the challenges and try your best to simply be a guests on the trip.

And if all else fails, don't go. I once backed out of a camping trip that I felt I was being completely bullied on (for a number of different reasons), so I just said, I think it's for the best that I sit this one out. It might save you some aggrevation in the long run if it gets too out of hand. Trips should be able relaxing and having fun, not getting stressed out.

Re: I need some advice.

DH used to have a house in the hideout with his friends...

Sorry about your friend!! She sounds like she needs a kick

Re: I need some advice.

She needs a kick all right.

The effed up part is my other friends feel the same way, and yet no one says anything to her!

Part of me wants to back out if I didn't already commit to driving 2 other people AND if I didn't already tell my Aunt I was coming.

I usually wait til the last minute to commit to things, and I should have waited it out and seen how her attitude was going to be.

Re: I need some advice.

I can't get over the whole trying to get you drink wine with her...really!? Doesnt sound like she's very concerned about your health

Tell her your aunt isn't giving you the passes. Not sure how they work and if you could come up with any other excuse (although you shouldn't have to). After this trip, I would try to decrease contact with her.

Re: I need some advice.

ugh she sounds like an assss. WTFF is her problem?

Tell her your aunt cant give you the passes. end of story.

BTW we go to the hideout (rent a house) once a year in the winter and LOVE it!!!!!!!

Have a fun weekend and enjoy, and try not to let her stress you out. She sounds like she has control issues!

Re: I need some advice.

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Posted by SummerBride10

After this trip, I would try to decrease contact with her.

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That's where the hard part comes in, I will still see her at family functions, not to mention, I'm in a bridal party with her.


DH and I have plans to move, so I am hoping that will lessen the tension. Sure it won't solve the problem but being unavailable more often I'm sure will work.