Sex...

    PENSION SEX

             
Two men were talking.   'So, how's  your sex life?' 
'Oh, nothing special. I'm having Pension sex.'  
'Pension sex?'   
'Yeah, you know; I get a little each month,  but not enough to live  on!'  
   
 
 
  LOUD   SEX    
A  wife went in to see a therapist and  said, 'I've  got a big problem, doctor.  Every time   we're in bed and my husband climaxes, He lets out this ear  splitting yell.' 

'My dear,' the shrink said, 'that's completely  natural. I  don't see what the problem is.' 
'The problem  is,' she  complained, 'it wakes me  up!'  
 
 

  QUIET   SEX  

Tired  of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during  a recent lovemaking session, 
'How come you never tell me when you have an  ******?'  
She glanced  at him and replied, 'You're never  home!' 

 
 
 

  
      WEDDING ANNIVERSARY  SEX  


A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on  the day of their 40th  wedding anniversary,  the husband  yelled,  'When you die, I'm getting You a headstone that  reads:  
'Here Lies My Wife -   Cold As Ever'.' 

'Yeah,' she replies, 'when you die, I'm getting  you a headstone that reads: 
'Here Lies My Husband  -  Stiff At  Last.' ' 

 
 
 

  WOMEN'S HUMOROUS  SEX    

My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly  and  said, 'This will make you happy tonight.' He was  right.   When he went out of the  bedroom, I squirted it  all over the doorknobs.  He couldn't get back  in.  


   
 
 

  ELDERLY  SEX   

One night, an 87 year-old woman came home from  Bingo and  found  her 92 year-old husband in bed with another  woman.  
She became  violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor,  assisted living apartment, killing him instantly. 

Brought before the  court on  the charge of murder. 
The judge asked her if she had anything to say  in her defense.  
She began  coolly, 'Yes, your honor.  I  figured that at 92, if he could have  sex...  He could also  fly.'

Re: Sex...

Re: Sex...

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Posted by Im_My_Own_Princess


  WOMEN'S HUMOROUS  SEX    

My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly  and  said, 'This will make you happy tonight.' He was  right.   When he went out of the  bedroom, I squirted it  all over the doorknobs.  He couldn't get back  in.  


   

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