Re: To all the married ladies

no, I don't joke around with things like that.



Once when we were in a heated argument, he said 'let's just end this then', and I busted out into tears. Ever since then, we don't say things like that.

Re: To all the married ladies

Nope, never while fighting or while being serious. We say it as a joke sometimes, for example if I'm watching my reality shows he says Im gonna get another wife (totally as a joke), but we've never said it seriously, same thing when we were dating, we'd never say I wanna break up.

Re: To all the married ladies

We got into a huge fight 3 months after we got married, I never said I want a divorce, but in the heat of the moment I did say 'Why did we get married?' You should have saw his face

Re: To all the married ladies

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Posted by CarolAnn721

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Posted by 2010BTB

Nope - never been said. When we do have a disagreement one of us will say 'You know a baby will make this all better right' - to laugh and lighten the mood. It was something we picked up from doing our counseling sessions with our pastor.

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One of my friends was told by the Pastor during her pre-cana that whenever they argue, no matter what room of the house they are in, they need to strip down immediately, and stand across from one another and hold hands. HYSTERICAL!!!

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Wow! Wouldn't that be a site to see!!!!

Re: To all the married ladies

I haven't, but DH has told me 3x since we've been married.

Re: To all the married ladies

never. but he has. because he KNOWS how much it bothers me when he says stuff that he doesn't mean during an argument. drives me insane!
when we fight it gets pretty nasty.

Re: To all the married ladies

No - neither of us has..

Re: To all the married ladies

Neither of us has.

Re: To all the married ladies

Nope. We don't have all out fights like that.

Re: To all the married ladies

Nope, he knows how much my parents' divorce affected me, so it's not something to throw around unless either of us actually means it.

Re: To all the married ladies

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Posted by CarolAnn721

I also reference my future spouse...Say things like, my next husband will bring out the garbage without being asked to... I'm bad...

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guilty!!!
i'm MEAN ... luckily DH knows i'm mean and psycho so he doesnt take me too seriously lol

Re: To all the married ladies

i have never said i want a divorce. and DH and i rarely have all out fights....our fights are usually more discussions when someone is upset

i HAVE said i need space, and sent him to his parents for a night. and once i said 'i dont know if i want to be married' but i was going through some rough stuff and it wasnt so much about HIM as it was about ME. once the words were out of my mouth i knew i didnt mean them. it was very hard for DH to hear but ultimately brought us to a much better place, and actually reminded both of us not to take each other and our relationship for granted

i actually dont think its wrong to say things like that, whether you do or dont mean them, because it can (at least for us) lead to really important, meaningful and productive conversations.

how's that for a serious answer?

Re: To all the married ladies

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Posted by MerSaysEh

i have never said i want a divorce. and DH and i rarely have all out fights....our fights are usually more discussions when someone is upset

i HAVE said i need space, and sent him to his parents for a night. and once i said 'i dont know if i want to be married' but i was going through some rough stuff and it wasnt so much about HIM as it was about ME. once the words were out of my mouth i knew i didnt mean them. it was very hard for DH to hear but ultimately brought us to a much better place, and actually reminded both of us not to take each other and our relationship for granted

i actually dont think its wrong to say things like that, whether you do or dont mean them, because it can (at least for us) lead to really important, meaningful and productive conversations.

how's that for a serious answer?

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IMPRESSIVE

Re: To all the married ladies

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Posted by CarolAnn721

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Posted by MerSaysEh

i have never said i want a divorce. and DH and i rarely have all out fights....our fights are usually more discussions when someone is upset

i HAVE said i need space, and sent him to his parents for a night. and once i said 'i dont know if i want to be married' but i was going through some rough stuff and it wasnt so much about HIM as it was about ME. once the words were out of my mouth i knew i didnt mean them. it was very hard for DH to hear but ultimately brought us to a much better place, and actually reminded both of us not to take each other and our relationship for granted

i actually dont think its wrong to say things like that, whether you do or dont mean them, because it can (at least for us) lead to really important, meaningful and productive conversations.

how's that for a serious answer?

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IMPRESSIVE

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crap!

Re: To all the married ladies

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Posted by cateydee

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Posted by CarolAnn721

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Posted by MerSaysEh

i have never said i want a divorce. and DH and i rarely have all out fights....our fights are usually more discussions when someone is upset

i HAVE said i need space, and sent him to his parents for a night. and once i said 'i dont know if i want to be married' but i was going through some rough stuff and it wasnt so much about HIM as it was about ME. once the words were out of my mouth i knew i didnt mean them. it was very hard for DH to hear but ultimately brought us to a much better place, and actually reminded both of us not to take each other and our relationship for granted

i actually dont think its wrong to say things like that, whether you do or dont mean them, because it can (at least for us) lead to really important, meaningful and productive conversations.

how's that for a serious answer?

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IMPRESSIVE

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crap!

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thank ya thank ya! *bows*

Re: To all the married ladies

Nope, we don't have big fights like that (knock on wood). We cool down if we feel one coming on, and then talk later. It works for us.

I did, however, say that I did not think I was ready for kids about 2 minutes before Rivka was born .

Re: To all the married ladies

well, we have only been married for 2 days, lol, but we would never say anything like this to each other. we both joke around sometimes and say we will upgrade to better spouses with more money later on but still keep each other around as our 'hot pieces of meat' on the side but its obvi a joke.
We rarely fight, but sometimes when we do its bad but even then, we always hold this back

Re: To all the married ladies

no, i mean we are only 66 days in LOL

however the other night, I went to sit next to him at the kitchen table and he jokingly said ' oh here she comes demanding quality time'

i got annoyed and said 'Fine you don't wanna spend time with me, I'll go find someone who will'

His face dropped and he looked at me like I stabbed him in the heart

so.. the words 'i want a divorce' .... they are never gonna be said in jest

Re: To all the married ladies

DH and I had two HUGE arguments.

Once about 5 months in, once about 11 months in. I didn't say the words 'I want a divorce' but I might as well have, that's how I felt.

After the last fight we both took corrective action to make sure we never felt like that again (counseling).

Knock on wood, so far so good, things have done a 180 turn around for both of us, and we're happier than we've ever been (even before the marriage).

Re: To all the married ladies

I believe I said it one time...our first year has been really rough and we were right in the middle of the worst part having yet ANOTHER argument and I'd just had enough. However, it did kind of shock both of us into a different place and got us to calm down and rationally talk about what was bothering us.

He can sometimes be really mean when we fight (he's going to anger management now about it) and I have said to him 'There's only so much of this I can take...if you keep abusing me like this you won't have a wife to abuse', but I don't necessarily think that's the same thing.

ETA: I am happy to say that we'll be married a year next month and we're definitely in a way better place now than this time last year.