Re: am i being a bridezilla for telling my sister she can't bring her month old baby to my shower???

My sister has been good to me and has tried as hard as she can to help with wedding stuff even having a baby on her at all times. My nephew was 1 month old for our engagemnt party. AS for the baby not being around so many people at that age. If he's breastfeeding he has a better immune system than any of us. You really shouldn't be bringing a young baby like that to the mall and grocery stores where there are people that could be sick. But a smaller event like this is fine. ('m in the medical profession)

Re: am i being a bridezilla for telling my sister she can't bring her month old baby to my shower???

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Posted by tricia3381

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

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Posted by tricia3381

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

sorry for crashing...but she sounds like my sister
my sister is due in june, and she is annoyed im having my e-party in July. I told her she can bring her baby, it will be about 3 weeks old

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so then u know exactly what i'm talking about!!! its like theres nothing else going in teh world except her pregnancy!!!

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What is your sister doing for your wedding, is she bringing the baby...i agree its not fair its your day and its your shower. I think everyone will be making more of a fuss over the new baby then the fact that your getting married.

My sister is my MOH and she has done nothing to help me or even contribute, i made her wedding invites, assembled them, i made her shower invites, been keeping track of whos coming, paying for 1/3 of it as well.

she wont even come look at dresses with me

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OMG!!! i think we have the same sister, although i think i have one up on ya- my sister decided that when she prego that she could no longer fulfill her MOH duties (not as thuogh she was doing anything for me prior to being prego) and steped down. so now shes just a BM (unwillingly.)
my sister has done nothing with me as far as wedding stuff is concerned. mine even had DW i went to the bahamas for it. she paid for nothing for me. she barely even thanked me.

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we really do have the same sister, BUT my sister demands that she is my MOH or else she will burn down my wedding. My sister had a destination wedding as well. but NO ONE was invited. My sister also got married because she was PG

Re: am i being a bridezilla for telling my sister she can't bring her month old baby to my shower???

I'm not saying that my decision is the right decision for you, it is a very tough decision. I'm sure you've had to make tough decisions in the past in which you may not have been 100% happy about you were doing, but in the end it turned out fine. Just think about it for a little while, do some soul searching and if you feel that after lookiing at all the effects of not having the baby there you are fine with your decision then go for it. That way you take full responsibility for your actions.FYI.....I didn't want the baby at any of these events and posted about it.....I got the advice I'm passing on to you from other brides!

Re: am i being a bridezilla for telling my sister she can't bring her month old baby to my shower???

I can definitely see where your coming from regarding the baby taking away from your day... but honestly, everyone knows why they are there and sure they'll check out the baby n what not, but I'm sure you'll be the center of attentions.

But I also have to agree with what Fillersbride said... especially if your sister is breastfeeding she'll need to have the baby with her. A 1 month old really shouldn't be separated from its mother for so long especially since his daddy will probably still be pretty clueless at that point.

Re: am i being a bridezilla for telling my sister she can't bring her month old baby to my shower???

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Posted by FullersBride

I'm not saying that my decision is the right decision for you, it is a very tough decision. I'm sure you've had to make tough decisions in the past in which you may not have been 100% happy about you were doing, but in the end it turned out fine. Just think about it for a little while, do some soul searching and if you feel that after lookiing at all the effects of not having the baby there you are fine with your decision then go for it. That way you take full responsibility for your actions.FYI.....I didn't want the baby at any of these events and posted about it.....I got the advice I'm passing on to you from other brides!

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hmmm. . . hopefully everything will work out for me too. thanks for showing me the other side of the coin.
i'm wondering if i shuold have him at the shower, this way when it comes tiem for the wedding, some people will have already seen him. what do u think about that?

Re: am i being a bridezilla for telling my sister she can't bring her month old baby to my shower???

technically if the mother is breastfeeding she can pump enough milk to get through the shower. It's not like the baby will be away from it's mother for that long. How long are showers.. usually not much longer then 4 hours!

Re: am i being a bridezilla for telling my sister she can't bring her month old baby to my shower???

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Posted by erdbeere

I can definitely see where your coming from regarding the baby taking away from your day... but honestly, everyone knows why they are there and sure they'll check out the baby n what not, but I'm sure you'll be the center of attentions.

But I also have to agree with what Fillersbride said... especially if your sister is breastfeeding she'll need to have the baby with her. A 1 month old really shouldn't be separated from its mother for so long especially since his daddy will probably still be pretty clueless at that point.

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if the shower is at my FIL's house, where i think it is, my sister will be 5 mins from the kid. so if daddy does have problems she can get to him with in 5 mins. also my sister and her husband live in the same house as my parents, so my dad will also be there to help her husband. as far as breast feeding is concerned, can't she pump it into a bottle?

Re: am i being a bridezilla for telling my sister she can't bring her month old baby to my shower???

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Posted by tricia3381

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Posted by FullersBride

I'm not saying that my decision is the right decision for you, it is a very tough decision. I'm sure you've had to make tough decisions in the past in which you may not have been 100% happy about you were doing, but in the end it turned out fine. Just think about it for a little while, do some soul searching and if you feel that after lookiing at all the effects of not having the baby there you are fine with your decision then go for it. That way you take full responsibility for your actions.FYI.....I didn't want the baby at any of these events and posted about it.....I got the advice I'm passing on to you from other brides!

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hmmm. . . hopefully everything will work out for me too. thanks for showing me the other side of the coin.
i'm wondering if i shuold have him at the shower, this way when it comes tiem for the wedding, some people will have already seen him. what do u think about that?

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I think that is a great dea And also, I never realized how much I would bond with my nephew. I come up to Ct just to be with him. I told my sister I want him there for my shower. I actually watch him when I come up to Ct and I have brought him to every single one of my dress fittings!!! Its our little secret that he is the only man that will see me in my wedding dress before the day of my wedding.

You will know when you make the right desision because you will feel like a burden has been lifted from your chest. FM me if you need to vent or have questions or anything

Re: am i being a bridezilla for telling my sister she can't bring her month old baby to my shower???

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Posted by KandD07

technically if the mother is breastfeeding she can pump enough milk to get through the shower. It's not like the baby will be away from it's mother for that long. How long are showers.. usually not much longer then 4 hours!

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thats what i thought too?

Re: am i being a bridezilla for telling my sister she can't bring her month old baby to my shower???

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Posted by tricia3381

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Posted by KandD07

technically if the mother is breastfeeding she can pump enough milk to get through the shower. It's not like the baby will be away from it's mother for that long. How long are showers.. usually not much longer then 4 hours!

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thats what i thought too?

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Most moms that are breastfeeding don't feed babies from a bottle until further along the line because they get nipple confusion with the bottle and then stop breastfeeding.

Re: am i being a bridezilla for telling my sister she can't bring her month old baby to my shower???

I can understand why you don't want the baby at your shower, and personally I wouldn't bring a baby that young out into a group of people anyway, too many germs, but I have a question: are you hosting your own shower? Isn't it the hostess' place to tell people whether they can bring a baby or not to the party? You're not the hostess, you're the guest of honor. You can make rules as to what's going on at your wedding, but you're not, I assume, throwing the shower, and as such, yes, you would be a Bridezilla for telling the hostess how to run her party and who she can or cannot invite. If you want to be a gracious bride, allow the newest member of your family to attend the party. Yes, people will make a fuss over him, but he's a baby! You're still the guest of honor, it's still all about you, don't worry. Besides, I'm sure that once you see your precious nephew, you'll want to be around him as much as possible. Enjoy him while he's a baby, the next thing you know he'll be a 6'2' Mohawked punk like my nephew. (He's still the sweetest kid ever, I just miss the adorable baby he once was sometimes.)

Re: am i being a bridezilla for telling my sister she can't bring her month old baby to my shower???

I'm sorry.. but this is your time and YOUR shower.. and her bringing the baby will make it HER time and HER shower.. I say NO WAY

Re: am i being a bridezilla for telling my sister she can't bring her month old baby to my shower???

i have to agree... only because since he's that little, he will become the center of attention. if the baby was a little older and everyone had seen the baby before, i would say you're being a bridezilla... but if it's a brand new baby, i think it will become your sister's day and not yours and that's not fair.

Re: am i being a bridezilla for telling my sister she can't bring her month old baby to my shower???

I agree with almost everyone here. I think the baby will be fine for 4hours without your sister. Women go back to work sometimes after a month of maternity leave and the child does just fine for those 7-8 hours + that mom is away.

Re: am i being a bridezilla for telling my sister she can't bring her month old baby to my shower???

Not at all, I am having No Kids at my Wedding or Shower or Rehersal Dinner, I feel its not a place for them, plus I want our friends and family who have kids to come and enjoy a night of fun without having to leave our wedding early or worry about all the things kids distract parents from throughout the night....I think you should portray your wishes to her in a nice way, Im sure she knows that you love her baby so much, but explain to her it is for adults only, she will get over it, if not....it will be her loss.....I love kids so much, and the only ones that will be there are in the wedding party and they are 10, 14 & 16 and two others 13 & 15 so hang in there, its your day not hers, dont let her ruin it for you..... and I really dont consider that kids, they are old enough....
Good luck with everything, it will work out just fine...

Re: am i being a bridezilla for telling my sister she can't bring her month old baby to my shower???

Yes, I think you are being a bridezilla for telling your sister that. I am totally pro baby, I had babies at my shower and at my wedding. I didn't want anyone to be excluded from my day because they had to take care of a baby. If the only way they were able to come was with a baby along then so be it, I wanted them there. I really hate the idea of having moms seperated from their newborns for these types of things, it makes me really sad. It seems really selfish and insecure to be threatened by a baby.

What is more important to you, having your sister there or having her not attend because she has a newborn.

Babies are fun and make people happy. My MOH's sister brought her 3 month old to my shower and he didn't say peep and slept through most of it. People said ooh how cute at first and then settled right into shower mode, food, games and wedding talk.

Re: am i being a bridezilla for telling my sister she can't bring her month old baby to my shower???

Honestly? I can understand why you wouldn't want babies at your shower or wedding. I know some people just don't want kids around for those events, and that's fine.

However, as a mother myself, I also completely understand your sisters point of view. A one month old baby shouldn't be separated from it's mother for that long if it's at all possible to aviod, especially if the baby is breastfed. It's not as easy as just 'using the pump she was given.' Actually, breastfed babies at that age aren't supposed to be given bottles because it could cause confusion. Plus, one month old babies sleep most of the day. As long as dad is at the ceremony to take the baby out if it starts to cry, I don't see the big deal with having the baby at the shower or wedding.

Re: am i being a bridezilla for telling my sister she can't bring her month old baby to my shower???

The baby will definitely attract a LOT of attention from the crowd & will take up a lot of your sisters time since the baby is only 1 month old and will be feating often & pooping. A one month old needs a lot of attention....BUT if she is breast feeding telling her to come without him may cause problems-- she will need to feed him at least once during the shower. If she doesn't breast feed him she can expeirence pain if she can't feed him-- you know what I mean? If she isn't breast feeding she can probably find the courage to leave him for a few hours!

Re: am i being a bridezilla for telling my sister she can't bring her month old baby to my shower???

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Posted by Tiggeruth

Yes, I think you are being a bridezilla for telling your sister that. I am totally pro baby, I had babies at my shower and at my wedding. I didn't want anyone to be excluded from my day because they had to take care of a baby. If the only way they were able to come was with a baby along then so be it, I wanted them there. I really hate the idea of having moms seperated from their newborns for these types of things, it makes me really sad. It seems really selfish and insecure to be threatened by a baby.

What is more important to you, having your sister there or having her not attend because she has a newborn.

Babies are fun and make people happy. My MOH's sister brought her 3 month old to my shower and he didn't say peep and slept through most of it. People said ooh how cute at first and then settled right into shower mode, food, games and wedding talk.

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As a Been There Done That Bride:

I totally agree with this. And in all honesty.... you are going to be so busy with your day (shower AND wedding) that I can gaurantee you won't even notice the baby being there. I didn't even know that one of our guests at our wedding brought their baby with them until I saw our wedding video. And I had talked to this woman MULTIPLE times during the day of my wedding!

I can also gaurantee that after your shower and wedding are over, looking back at the things that you were stressed about are going to be soooooooooooooo insignificant.

Re: am i being a bridezilla for telling my sister she can't bring her month old baby to my shower???

For me personally I have to disagree......My sister is pregnant and if my shower happened to be a month after the baby was born, I'd be holding my little niece or nephew on my lap helping me open gifts...I cannot wait to be an aunt and show him or her off & I truely mean that. I love my sister and that little baby & nothing could ever make me tell them not to come to something that is honoring me because of him or her, that would break my sister's heart.

(I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just stating how I feel)

ETA; Also.....I highly doubt your sister wants to bring the baby to take away the attention from you but she wants to bring the baby b/c he/she is only going to be a month old and needs to be fed. Wouldn't you rather have your sister there?