Re: bachelor party???

Soemtimes.. i think about it and Im like its crazy naked girls all over my FH. But in the end I trust him and he knows whats in approrpaite and what's not.. plus I make sure he knows he has the good stuff at home

I am going to cabo for my bacheleorette party and I convinced him and his GM to go DR for theirs!! And i said if he as to go to strip club or whatever for a bachelor type party.. do it when I am away in Cabo and just behave!!

When he leaves in april to DR, my girls are taking me out for a good time!! So I guess he deserves his male stupidity bonding also!!

Some guys are dogs, & I am sure you found the right one who will respect you and the relationship or else he wouldnt be making this commitment to you!!

Re: bachelor party???

My FH was married before, and he didn't do a BP then - just went out for drinks with some of the guys at a quiet bar.

He is not into this stuff - yes, he's attended a few in his life, but he is the kind of guy that can't find someone attractive until he knows them - he's strange... I used to think he was BSing me, but after over 2 years I discovered how legit he is...

Before our wedding, our friends are coming in from Cali - we never see them at all - and they are 2 gay men. I have nothing to worry about...

as a matter of fact, I'm going to Lucky Cheng's, and he wants to come along!

Re: bachelor party???

i have to agree the stripper thing gets me, but i know that that type of party isnt want my FH wants.

i think it is important to say how you feel and he should take that into consideration. if he goes on the whole 'you dont trust me' then you have to have a talk with him after that.

Re: bachelor party???

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Posted by MJDoc12

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Posted by EmberLynn

Look I can tell you right now, the stripper isn't interested in any FH, shes just wants the $$$$.

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Yup. i couldn't agree more. i suppose i understand why women get a little insecure at the idea of a strip club and such for a bachelor party...but it really doesn't bother me in the least. i hope FH has a GREAT time at his BP....because i'll be rocking out at mine. LOL

If your FH is gonna cheat on you...he's gonna cheat on you. Him NOT going to a strip club bachelor party is not gonna magically stop him from falling from grace. Whether it be with a stripper (which just doesn't happen as much as we think--they want $$ not a BF)...or with a co-worker or some strange girl they meet out with the boys...men (& women) will cheat at anytime. You have to learn to trust them. I trust my FH 100%.

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I AGREE!!! Although I can understand the whole 'inappropriate behavior' idea. BUT, it's just one night, I told my FH he can go to a strip club for his bachelor party BUT under no circumstances could he have a stripper come to a location. Most strip clubs (not all) have very strict rules about what can and can not be done. Let's face it, we're all human. Our animal instrincts of attraction are not going to stop when we say I DO. You will find another man attractive and he will find another woman attractive. It doesn't mean you don't love each other, it just means that we're HUMAN.

I'd say tell him how you feel and if it really bothers you, tell him. But don't give him an ultimatum, remember we're their mates not their keepers. Good luck!!!

Re: bachelor party???

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Posted by dianadrw

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Posted by LUCKinlove

I know how you feel. Bachelor parties bring out the insecurities in all of us. I had a discussion with my FH and he agreed not to have strippers. So now, he is going skidiving instead...I don't know which one was worse!

Talk to him about it.

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OMG SKYDIVING???....I'd rather have the strippers!

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It is something he has always wanted to do and he felt that it was somehat symbolic. You know...taking the plung!

Needless to say the wives/GF of the ushers are not too pleased either. Some have already told their partners - no way. You will drinking and waiting in the limo at the bottom.

Re: bachelor party???

The reality is that your FI can cheat anytime. My boss is having an affair with one of the attorneys here and as far as his wife or her husband knows, they are both working all day.

As hard as it may be, you have to trust him and realize that he is not your ex and that is why your ex is your ex and not your future husband.

HTH,
Kelly

Re: bachelor party???

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Posted by MrsFelix

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Posted by MJDoc12

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Posted by EmberLynn

Look I can tell you right now, the stripper isn't interested in any FH, shes just wants the $$$$.

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Yup. i couldn't agree more. i suppose i understand why women get a little insecure at the idea of a strip club and such for a bachelor party...but it really doesn't bother me in the least. i hope FH has a GREAT time at his BP....because i'll be rocking out at mine. LOL

If your FH is gonna cheat on you...he's gonna cheat on you. Him NOT going to a strip club bachelor party is not gonna magically stop him from falling from grace. Whether it be with a stripper (which just doesn't happen as much as we think--they want $$ not a BF)...or with a co-worker or some strange girl they meet out with the boys...men (& women) will cheat at anytime. You have to learn to trust them. I trust my FH 100%.

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I AGREE!!! Although I can understand the whole 'inappropriate behavior' idea. BUT, it's just one night, I told my FH he can go to a strip club for his bachelor party BUT under no circumstances could he have a stripper come to a location. Most strip clubs (not all) have very strict rules about what can and can not be done. Let's face it, we're all human. Our animal instrincts of attraction are not going to stop when we say I DO. You will find another man attractive and he will find another woman attractive. It doesn't mean you don't love each other, it just means that we're HUMAN.

I'd say tell him how you feel and if it really bothers you, tell him. But don't give him an ultimatum, remember we're their mates not their keepers. Good luck!!!

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I agree!!!

TRUST ME, and this is coming from someone who worked as a waitress in one of the seediest strip clubs in Brooklyn, you really see everything that goes on. And 9 times out of 10 at a bachelor party the other guys are always worse than the groom. I've seen men try to pressure the groom into doing things.

That being said, if your FH is going to cheat on you, he's going to cheat on you whether it's at the bachelor party or further down the road. So if you don't trust him now, then you will never trust him and you should not be marrying him. And there's no point in getting mad at a stripper who is just there doing her job. Most of them hate doing it, and a lot of them are lesbians, anyway.

I told FH he can go to a strip club if he wants, and I'll even pay for the lap dance. I want him to enjoy himself, because it's the one time he can do it. And you can best believe that my bachelorette party is going to be a lot wilder than his party will be!! Thankfully, he just wants to go to a casino.

So think about why this bothers you. A man does not tend to pledge marriage to a woman he has intentions of cheating on the night before the wedding.

Re: bachelor party???

You need to work on your insecurities. If your FH loves you and wants to marry you, he will not do anything stupid. You need to trust that. And who said that all bachelor parties have strippers? My DH suggested a joint party before we got married, adn that's what we did. Not all men are into seeing other women take off their clothes. I would talk to your FH, but most of all, don't worry about it too much.

Re: bachelor party???

i don't think its about trust..........
if they are gonna cheat then they are gonna cheat..........
but, what is the point of seeing strippers then--if they are not gonna cheat--then what are they getting from seeing these girls? i think it is some form of cheating JMO and i don't like it one bit and FH didn't have strippers--he didn't want them and NEITHER did I! i could go on and on but i won't!

Re: bachelor party???

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Posted by 2003wedding.

i don't think its about trust..........
if they are gonna cheat then they are gonna cheat..........
but, what is the point of seeing strippers then--if they are not gonna cheat--then what are they getting from seeing these girls? i think it is some form of cheating JMO and i don't like it one bit and FH didn't have strippers--he didn't want them and NEITHER did I! i could go on and on but i won't!

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Looking at a half naked woman dancing is not a form of cheating. Could the same be said if you were at the beach and your FH is staring at a girl dancing in a bathing suit? I think not.

Men are visual creatures, we are emotional. Therein lies the difference and why men go to strip clubs.

When a bunch of us women saw a bunch of guy strippers, we like to look too, but that was about it. We can all fantasize, as long as it remains that , a fantasy, or distraction.

Re: bachelor party???

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Posted by BKtoLI

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Posted by 2003wedding.

i don't think its about trust..........
if they are gonna cheat then they are gonna cheat..........
but, what is the point of seeing strippers then--if they are not gonna cheat--then what are they getting from seeing these girls? i think it is some form of cheating JMO and i don't like it one bit and FH didn't have strippers--he didn't want them and NEITHER did I! i could go on and on but i won't!

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Looking at a half naked woman dancing is not a form of cheating. Could the same be said if you were at the beach and your FH is staring at a girl dancing in a bathing suit? I think not.

Men are visual creatures, we are emotional. Therein lies the difference and why men go to strip clubs.

When a bunch of us women saw a bunch of guy strippers, we like to look too, but that was about it. We can all fantasize, as long as it remains that , a fantasy, or distraction.

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well i feel it is a form--again JMO like i said before......
someone dancing on the beach covered in a bathing suit compared to a boob infront of my man's face=different! and i would think strippers would have a bit of a different dancing style than someone dancing on the beach....
lastly, i have been to strip clubs back in the day and it did nothing for me, the guys are not naked and they don't 'perform' the same as women...... we see a guy without a shirt whoptie doo---we see that all of the time--women don't walk around topless........u can't compare the two.......

Re: bachelor party???

I knew a guy in grad school who was obsessed with strip clubs... he was a little off. I took a ride with him, a few guy friends and another female friend to St. Louis where we went to a 'Gentleman's club'. He said that he knew of more 'raunchy' places, but b/c me and the other girl were there, this place was 'classier'. Personally, after what I saw took place, I would not want the man I'm going to marry going there. It is VERY different then a beach... for one thing... lap dances! They are sensual and there for the sake of arousal. How is your man getting off on the sensual gestures and yes, sometimes touching - not cheating???? Fortunately, FH and I both feel the same way about strippers - both male and female and neither of us have any respect for them. As another lady on here also said, my FH was married once before and even though he knew he was making the biggest mistake of his life, he and his buddy's had a nice dinner in Little Italy... he plans on doing the same before our wedding - no strippers for us either Thank God! I want a nice dinner and maybe a movie. More of a 'girls night out' and a 'guys night out

Re: bachelor party???

Exactly, these women may just want the money and not the boyfriends but it is their jobe to get men 'excited and aroused' and lets face it, they dont need much from the strippers to get excited, the first five minutes of the lapdance does it for most guys, then what they just sit there all aroused and excited for the next 15 minutes, while some big boobed bimbo dances on him, sits on his lap, half naked and touches him, (strippers are allowed to touch if they want) and for bachelor parties they will kiss on the cheek or touch the guys chest and rub his leg, spanks their asses, they also just stick around longer to talk to the guys, all awhile having nothing but a g-string on, they love B-parties, they know they are getting PAID that night b/c it is a bachelor party, if they cut out the lap dances and close encounters, watching the pole dancing is not that bad.

Re: bachelor party???

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Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

A LOT OF WOMEN SAY, IF YOU REALLY LOVE YOUR FH AND HE LOVES YOU- YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WORRY. WELL, IF HE REALLY LOVES YOU HE SHOULDN'T EVEN BE CONSIDERING HAVING THAT TYPE OF PARTY.

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I don't think this generalization is correct. My husband went to a strip club (in fact a few) for his bachelor party. Does this mean he doesn't love me? NO Does this mean he has raunchy friends? Yes

And guess what? I went to one too! I guess I don't love my husband because I just so much 'enjoyed' the torture of being embarassed on a stage with greasy men.

Re: bachelor party???

okay here's the deal.... do u trust him?? of course u do - however why put yourself in an atmosphere where things can happen? I'm sure your FH would never dream of cheating on you - but we all know that when u get a few drinks in u, and the guys are egging him on - THINGS HAPPEN. I dont care if u're with prince charming...and besides, do u really want to wonder from now till eternity 'what happened that night???' Me and my fiance talked and i came to find he didnt want me having strippers either - so u may be suprised with what he has to say! In my perspective, put ur foot down - if you feel uncomfortable with something, he should respect you & honor that....and you should feel confident to tell him how u feel about the situation - not sorry...after all - you're spending the rest of your life with this person!

Re: bachelor party???

I agree - I don't think it's about trust - I think it's about respect. If your FH knows it makes you feel uncomfortable and insecure he shouldn't do it.

Re: bachelor party???

I already posted how I felt on here and I was telling my FH about it and he made me go on here and let him post something so here it is ladies, a true opinion on the topic from a MAN... (hope this helps!)

when i felt that my fw was the one for me, i knew that she was the only woman i ever wanted to touch me and be sensual with me ever again for the rest of my life. i also knew that i never wanted to ever touch or look at another woman in any way like that ever again. it is not a matter of trust, insecurity or any other excuse people come up with. i don't want strippers because i have the most amazing and beautiful woman already. my devotion and unending respect for my fw totally eliminates the option. any man that truly loves and is truly devoted to his woman does not need to have strippers, ever! any woman that feels the same way for her man, also should never need a stripper of any kind, ever! it is a filthy act that in my opinion is cheating. being in a sexual frame of mind, or more, with any other person but your partner is cheating.

***my guidline for life is simple, 'anything that i wouldn't do if my fw was standing right next to me, i don't do when she is not there'. its very simple, and solves any moral dilemmas i may come across.

Ok, ladies, I'm back now... reading that almost made me cry!! LOL I'm so silly. But I do hope that what he wrote helps anyone who reads it! Good Luck everyone!!

Re: bachelor party???

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Posted by james'pokey

I don't think this generalization is correct. My husband went to a strip club (in fact a few) for his bachelor party. Does this mean he doesn't love me? NO Does this mean he has raunchy friends? Yes

And guess what? I went to one too! I guess I don't love my husband because I just so much 'enjoyed' the torture of being embarassed on a stage with greasy men.

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amen!!

Re: bachelor party???

This is a subject that I feel pretty strongly about. Nothing in my past has made me feel this way or anything..but I am totally against the whole idea of strippers at a bachelor party. It has nothing to do with insecurities its just that I dont see a reason to have girls touch and put their boobs in FH face...lol. Thats just how I feel. He understands that. Therefore we are all going to vegas for a joint party. :)

Re: bachelor party???

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NEW Re: bachelor party???

I knew a guy in grad school who was obsessed with strip clubs... he was a little off. I took a ride with him, a few guy friends and another female friend to St. Louis where we went to a 'Gentleman's club'. He said that he knew of more 'raunchy' places, but b/c me and the other girl were there, this place was 'classier'. Personally, after what I saw took place, I would not want the man I'm going to marry going there. It is VERY different then a beach... for one thing... lap dances! They are sensual and there for the sake of arousal. How is your man getting off on the sensual gestures and yes, sometimes touching - not cheating???? Fortunately, FH and I both feel the same way about strippers - both male and female and neither of us have any respect for them. As another lady on here also said, my FH was married once before and even though he knew he was making the biggest mistake of his life, he and his buddy's had a nice dinner in Little Italy... he plans on doing the same before our wedding - no strippers for us either Thank God! I want a nice dinner and maybe a movie. More of a 'girls night out' and a 'guys night out
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totally agree, some people are missing the point that a lot of us keep re-iterating.. it is not about trust or lack there of, it is about respect and the idea that a lot more goes on then some of you are leading on to and either way, it's just inappropriate ESPECIALLY when you are about to marry someone you love. and most of all, NO MATTER WHAT, no matter how many times we go back and fourth with opinions if it bothers someone then the FH of that person should care enough about their feelings to not do it.
again, no one can ever tell you how you feel is wrong. i can't even tell the people on here that say their FH can do whatever they want are wrong, that's how they feel, so it is right for them and their relationship. BUT If the girl who originally started this poll feels uncomfortable with it, her FH should just go out with his friends and have a great time doing things that don't make her upset.
you can analyze why she is upset until you are blue in the face but it doesn't matter--she is what she is and he should respect her feelings... In the same notion, anyone who does not care what their FH does at strip clubs should do just that and that's okay for them which is fine.
It's all about preferences when you break it down and the girl that originally wrote on here does not prefer it, some agree, some disagree. But in the end, what matters is how each person feels and whatever those feelings are they should be cared about more than anything by their FH's. Geez!! I think that was pretty fair to everyone's opinion.... I hope so at least!!