Re: Dear My fellow '06 girls........need advice (NWR)

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Posted by JessicaM.

are you sure you may not be a little upset that she is taking some of the spotlight off of you.

YOU borrowed HER tiara, and now that she wants to wear it, you are upset about it....

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I've have thought of evey possiblity on why I do not feel comfortable about this and not once I ever thought that 'she is taking the spot light of of me', but then why don't I want her wearing her tiara one year later?? - It just doesn't seem right. I wish I had an analagy (sp?), but I don't.

She has had many boyfriends and fiances and it has not bothered me at all.........I think it comes down to the fact that I work with him.

I want to have a good relationship with my mom....and yes, our relationship hasn't been the best over the past couple of years. She has put down my DH and insults me, she is selfish, and I tend to lecture her sometimes.

Re: Dear My fellow '06 girls........need advice (NWR)

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Posted by alnem

did she ever have a big wedding? maybe this is her way of finally getting the large celebration...

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She was married to my father when she was 17 years old and 6 months pregnant. They had a basement wedding and a bad relationship for about 7 years.

She never had all the extras like me (bridal shower, bachelorette party....). For my Bachelorette Party, I invited all the adults (family, aunts...) to a show at Escapes. We had a wonderful time and when it was over all the adults went home or their separate ways and my mother was the only one to stay and party till wee hours of the morning. Even though I am fortunate that she is 'cool' it was unappropriate in my book. It wasn't right. Things like this bother me.

Re: Dear My fellow '06 girls........need advice (NWR)

It sounds like your relationship has taken on a lot of role reversals. When you first get married, the last thing you want to be is a parent to one of your parents. I've been dealing with alot of the same things with my Dad and know how frustrating it can be at times. I'd say keep as close an eye on your Mom as you can but still realize that ultimately she has to make her own decisions. The best possible scenario is this guy is genuine and will make your Mom's life better. I hope everything works out with the best possible end result. FM me if you ever need to talk.

Re: Dear My fellow '06 girls........need advice (NWR)

I know what you're saying - My Mom is definitely a MOM and while some people are comfortable with their Mom's being a 'best friend' and partying together and borrowing each other's clothes, some people want a MOM... who acts like a MOM and lectures YOU and acts older than you. From what you say it seems like your Mom acts like she's the same age as you. I don't have any advice, but I understand. Think of it as if a Mom trying to tell a teenager something - a teenager wouldn't listen and would have rebelled, so just try to listen to her and be happy for her (even if it's through slightly clenched teeth!)

Re: Dear My fellow '06 girls........need advice (NWR)

Carissa, you said it bothers you that 'Frank' is your co-worker and that's perfectly understandable. Your mom's past boyfriends and fiances weren't a part of YOUR life first, so that was much different. But now you've got your professional life mingling with your personal life, and that's something that's tough to do sometimes.

We like to keep our 'lives' separate, you don't want to go to your mom's after a rough day at work and see your co-worker!!!!!!! You want to go to work, do your job, and then on the weekends be yourself and you feel you can't do that with 'Frank' around, right??

Let me tell you, I work with DH. My brother also works here and we've had several other family members working for this company. It is tough sometimes to draw the line between work and 'play'. What's appropriate?? You don't want your professional life to infringe on your personal life and you don't want your personal life to infringe on your professional life.

You can try to sit your mom down and explain this to her but it sounds like she won't have it. If she really loves him and is going to marry him then maybe you could look elsewhere for a job. If you're going to keep working there and they get married then I would def sit them both down and layout some ground rules.

Re: Dear My fellow '06 girls........need advice (NWR)

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Posted by cindyandkevin

Carissa, you said it bothers you that 'Frank' is your co-worker and that's perfectly understandable. Your mom's past boyfriends and fiances weren't a part of YOUR life first, so that was much different. But now you've got your professional life mingling with your personal life, and that's something that's tough to do sometimes.

We like to keep our 'lives' separate, you don't want to go to your mom's after a rough day at work and see your co-worker!!!!!!! You want to go to work, do your job, and then on the weekends be yourself and you feel you can't do that with 'Frank' around, right??

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EXACTLY!!!! Who knows what my mom tells Frank about me.......this is my professional life and I don't need him knowing my personal life.......this sux

Re: Dear My fellow '06 girls........need advice (NWR)

Check your employee manual or maybe talk to your HR dept about this. There may be a 'conflict of interest' for Frank to date your mom in the first place. If he has to choose between your mom or the job then that puts the ball back into your court a little.

Good luck!! I hope it all works out for you!!

Re: Dear My fellow '06 girls........need advice (NWR)

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Posted by cindyandkevin

Carissa, you said it bothers you that 'Frank' is your co-worker and that's perfectly understandable. Your mom's past boyfriends and fiances weren't a part of YOUR life first, so that was much different. But now you've got your professional life mingling with your personal life, and that's something that's tough to do sometimes.

We like to keep our 'lives' separate, you don't want to go to your mom's after a rough day at work and see your co-worker!!!!!!! You want to go to work, do your job, and then on the weekends be yourself and you feel you can't do that with 'Frank' around, right??

Let me tell you, I work with DH. My brother also works here and we've had several other family members working for this company. It is tough sometimes to draw the line between work and 'play'. What's appropriate?? You don't want your professional life to infringe on your personal life and you don't want your personal life to infringe on your professional life.

You can try to sit your mom down and explain this to her but it sounds like she won't have it. If she really loves him and is going to marry him then maybe you could look elsewhere for a job. If you're going to keep working there and they get married then I would def sit them both down and layout some ground rules.

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I wish I had words of wisdom like this, but in reading this post I really had no idea what to say to you Carissa. But Cindy said it perfectly..

Hope all works out for you