Re: DEPRESSED BY NEWLYWED BOARD & rethinking wedding plans

Just want to add that there are many newlyweds who are not depressed post wedding...we just dont all post in those threads out of respect for the feelings of the people that are. I know many people who were very pleased with how everything went and consider it money well spent.

Re: DEPRESSED BY NEWLYWED BOARD & rethinking wedding plans

I got one word for you .. CRAFTS!!!

Girl get your butt in gear and get your glue gun out.. There are sooo many things that can be done on your own . done tastefully and inexpensive.. Really do you think that a year after your wedding people will remember the pew bows you hung at your church? Or if you had two dozen roses vs. one in your centerpieces.. Just be creative, I mean you do want to feel good about what your displaying out there but it should not cost you your future savings.

Here are just a FEW items that you can easily make yourself and save %100 by making them yourself.

Pew Bows
Favors
Toss Bouquet
Place Cards
Menus

I mean the list goes on. The next time you go shop really look at what your buying and ask yourself if this is something you can make yourself FOR LESS. You of course dont want to take on more than you can handle cause a wedding is stressful itself but just be creative.
Best of Wishes to you...

Re: DEPRESSED BY NEWLYWED BOARD & rethinking wedding plans

ug, with a week away i am having the same feelings

with bad weather and canceling guests, my attitude is like thousands of dollars down the drain! for what, a few hours?

i hope my attitude does a 180 because i do NOT want to be grouchy come the big day!

Re: DEPRESSED BY NEWLYWED BOARD & rethinking wedding plans

I am one of the brides who complained about money...but it's not because of the money we spent on the wedding. We paid for the wedding all ourselves- every stitch of it. We used cash for it all- none of it went on the credit cards.

I do not regret spending any of the money we did. We had a wonderful day- better than i could have imagined.

Could we have saved the money for a down payment? Sure. But, we gave it a lot of thought, and decided that this is a once in a lifetime thing, and we wanted to do what we wanted. The medium sized wedding, with our closest friends and family, at the hall we wanted.

I know our only gripe now is that it is so expensive to live here on LI. The housing prices are astronomical. Going out on our own (we both still lived at home before the wedding) has been tough, and something we have to get used to.

BUT, like I said, I wouldn't change a thing about it. You have to do what's right for you!

Re: DEPRESSED BY NEWLYWED BOARD & rethinking wedding plans

I also have to say that I do not regret at all the money we spent on the wedding. We are not in debt at all because of the wedding - we paid for everything in cash.

We're another couple where the housing on LI is just out of our reach right now. Especially with my Dh in grad school right now, it was better for us to continue renting than to buy a house. We do not want to be house poor, so we continue to save for a decent downpayment.

Re: DEPRESSED BY NEWLYWED BOARD & rethinking wedding plans

Life sometimes works in misterious ways! Today, I spent the whole day crying over the same exact thing. I just can't make this decision.!. We already did a lot, and put a lot of downpayments down. I keep thinking what a waste of money! My FI is only doing this to make me happy and supports me full force, yet we live in our tiny horrible appartment that we can't fit half our stuff into so our stuff is all over. All my friends had their dream wedding - all got married this and last year - but their parent's paid for most of their wedding. So they all bough houses or apartments by now. For us, its all so different. We are spending every penny we have on this wedding, and than, we will continue to live in this hole of an apartment for another year. I just do not know how that can be worth it. And than, I talk to my friends, and they don't even remember their weddings! They keep saying it just flew by, and they don't remember it. That is so sad... all that money and I may not even going to remember it!. However, when I talk to them about it, they just don't understand me. They keep saying I will regret it if I don't have it. Its a one time shot, and if I don't have it now, I will never have it and will never be able to get it back. I hate myself! I know the right thing to do is not to have a wedding, and yet, I have myself for not having the GUTS to come to that decision.

Re: DEPRESSED BY NEWLYWED BOARD & rethinking wedding plans

i spent way more then i thought i would pn my wedding but i didnt regret a thing about it. if you want to a big wedding then you should do it and i think you owe it to your self. i dont have any wedding debt we payed for everything in cash which stops you from over spending if you dont have it you cant spend it. there are so many creative ways to save money and still have a beautiful wedding. dont get depressed get creative and start looking on ebay and shopping for the best vendor prices.

Re: DEPRESSED BY NEWLYWED BOARD & rethinking wedding plans

---

Posted by May05Bride

Life sometimes works in misterious ways! Today, I spent the whole day crying over the same exact thing. I just can't make this decision.!. We already did a lot, and put a lot of downpayments down. I keep thinking what a waste of money! My FI is only doing this to make me happy and supports me full force, yet we live in our tiny horrible appartment that we can't fit half our stuff into so our stuff is all over. All my friends had their dream wedding - all got married this and last year - but their parent's paid for most of their wedding. So they all bough houses or apartments by now. For us, its all so different. We are spending every penny we have on this wedding, and than, we will continue to live in this hole of an apartment for another year. I just do not know how that can be worth it. And than, I talk to my friends, and they don't even remember their weddings! They keep saying it just flew by, and they don't remember it. That is so sad... all that money and I may not even going to remember it!. However, when I talk to them about it, they just don't understand me. They keep saying I will regret it if I don't have it. Its a one time shot, and if I don't have it now, I will never have it and will never be able to get it back. I hate myself! I know the right thing to do is not to have a wedding, and yet, I have myself for not having the GUTS to come to that decision.

---

I don't think it's a waste of money if that's what you want. We have decided to just wait until we have more money saved instead of making payments. We have also decided not to invite 192 (or is it 193?) guests to fill a 150 minimum. We would also be paying for this all on our own.

I just could not commit us to making monthly payments for all the wedding vendors when the only monthly payments I have now are mortgage and student loans. I paid off all of my other bills and I am just not comfortable with debt - weird - I know. LOL

Plus, FI spent a ton of money buying me the ring I wanted (again in cash) and I don't want him to drain himself to have a wedding in 13 months - although he is still totally on board to make vendor payments if that's what I want. He's so sweet!!!!

I think we will end up having a wedding but it will not be the full blown 190+ person thing that it was becoming. We will limit it to close family & friends which will hopefully be 120 or less.

I too hear from brides that the day flies by and they didn't eat and don't remember a lot about it - hence the video and pics. But if that's what you want and you think you will regret it, go for it.

And you can have a wedding after you get married. I've attended wedding for couples that have been married 5 - 12 & 31 years. None had weddings but simple civil ceremonies and the wives wanted weddings so they went for it. Granted, they were far more established and had the cash to pay for it all upfront, but in the end they all had the weddings they wanted.

Re: DEPRESSED BY NEWLYWED BOARD & rethinking wedding plans

What day of the week were you planning to have the reception? You could save a substantial amount on a Friday vs. a Sat. or even a Sunday. At my hall, Friday night was the least expensive.

Can you trim the guest list more? For me, it's disappointing that a lot of friends and family are not able to make it, but it's definately been good for the budget.

You could also do a destination wedding within NY, which would probably trim your guest list, because a lot of people may not want to make the trip. And you would not have to deal with airfare. There are gorgeous wineries upstate, for example, some with catering facilities. It could save you some $$ but be memorable.

There are also lots of vendors who aren't very expensive but do great work. I am using Twelfth Night for photo- very reasonable and great work. Good luck.

Re: DEPRESSED BY NEWLYWED BOARD & rethinking wedding plans

Just wanted to quickly add that considering areas outside of NY should shave you some $$$.. Our NJ hall (the Tides Estate) was about $70/pp with 100 minimum, which has certainly helped to keep the cost down. We also used the silk flowers that the hall provided for centerpieces and didn't hire limos since we were taking photos before ceremony.

While our wedding was more than 20K, I think not using a band and choosing a less expensive photo video option would have easily put it into the 20K or so range.

Also, you may want to consider a holiday day (such as July 4, memorial or labor day). I believe us getting married over such weekend was the cause over 50% decline rate to the invites.