Re: Honest opinions, please

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Posted by prncssrachel

If there's one thing I learned from getting married and everything leading up to it is that you cannot predict or expect reactions from people. ESPECIALLY close family. Everyone is going through a different range of emotions and the way you would HOPE people would act is not always the way they do, and there's nothign you can do about it. My DH was extremely disappointed that his parents had zero enthusiasm for our wedding and didn't even thank my parents for hosting it after all was said and done, but he had to deal with the fact that that is who they are.
I know it's hard and you want things to be a certain way, but if you start worrying about how everyone else is reacting to the wedding, you will go nuts by the time it comes. This too, shall pass.

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I agree, if she wants to wear pants, let her wear pants.
If this is a BIG problem with your FMIL, be happy that this is the biggest issue you have to deal with.

Re: Honest opinions, please

Why would you care what someone else is wearing as long as they look nice and are comfortable with what they are wearing. It's your day, nobody will be looking at them. All eyes are on you!!!!

Re: Honest opinions, please

I had a similar situation with my mom. She was absolutely against the idea of wearing make-up on the day of the wedding (don't ask, she's a nutty hippie). Anyway I really want her to look wonderful and feel wonderful about herself and her appearance on the day of my wedding and I thought having her makeup professionally done would help (I even offered to pay). She kept putting up a fight until I told her that FH's mom is having her makeup done and honestly, 10 years from now when her grandchildren are looking at pictures of the wedding did she really want them asking why their other grandma looks so much younger than her. Shameless behavior on my part, but it worked! Maybe you can try something similar?

Re: Honest opinions, please

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Posted by Jackie&Justin

I would want them to wear a dress too. It's a wedding, not a job interview! They can do it just once.

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I agree!!!

Re: Honest opinions, please

my mom wore a suit to my sisters wedding (it was a skirt) and she looked beautiful. and she was comfortable (she's not a dressy person).

I say let her wear whatever she wants!!

Re: Honest opinions, please

It's your wedding day, and I think it's appropriate for both mom's to wear a dress. If she can't do that for you on this one day, well it doesn't say much about her caring about what you want!! JMO

Re: Honest opinions, please

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Posted by Jackie&Justin

I would want them to wear a dress too. It's a wedding, not a job interview! They can do it just once.

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i agree!

Re: Honest opinions, please

Both my mother and my MIL wore pantsuits to my wedding. But, ours was a daytime event. I honestly didn't care what they wore as long as they were comfortable in it.

ETA: They both looked beautiful and happy in the pictures, which makes me smile when I look at them.

Also, there a lot of dressy pantsuits where the pants look like a skirt--my MIL wore one like that. Unless you knew better, you would have thought she was wearing a skirt.

Re: Honest opinions, please

Truly nobody is going to be looking at her-It's all you baby!!! I understand that you want an elegant event. Honestly though, even if she wears a garbage bag it wont reflect on you or FH. It will reflect on her. You will have bigger and better things to deal with that day. Good Luck!!!

Re: Honest opinions, please

I honestly don't think that I would mind. My aunt (mom's sis) wants to wear a nice pant set (palazzo style?? I think it's called). My mom was upset that she is not wearing a gown. We still have time so she might still wear a gown, but I told my mom, who cares? as long as she's comfortable. If my FMIL or my mom decided on wearing a nice yet elegant pant set, it would not bother me. Like everyone else said, it's your day and all eyes will be on you.

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I would definitely want them in dresses, because it is such a special day!

Re: Honest opinions, please

I think it's a formal affair and warrants a dress, but honestly if she's that against it, don't go crazy.... i'm not sure what my FMIL is going to do, but my mom is like 'you're my only daughter, i'm only going to do this once' and is getting a gown.... so.... to each his own i guess :)

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My fmil is going to wear a pantsuit. I'm fine with it as long as she is comfortable

Re: Honest opinions, please

my FMIL is wearing a pants type 'palazzo' outfit. it doesnt bother me, but then again the woman doesnt really speak to me, but rather to her son or my mother. she never answers emails from me until weeks later. but then again i have had a great relationship with her up until now, when she barely responds to me....

Re: Honest opinions, please

I'm going to have the same issue - my fmil is a pretty heavy woman, and FH says he doesn't think she wears skirts or dresses. Ever. I'm worried that she will look at the pictures and feel dumpy and underdressed and not elegant and wish she looked nicer, especially as my mom is in fantastic shape (better than I am, honestly!) and is still very pretty, in a mature way, and will definitely take the opportunity to buy herself a very special formal gown. I want fmil to be comfortable, but I also think that every woman, in her own way, wants to feel beautiful and doesn't want to have to look at her son's wedding pictures and think 'ug, I wish I were thinner and more confident and could wear a nice dress like my dil's mom,' especially because I think a lot of heavier women like my fmil don't really understand that you actually can find a nice dress in plus sizes and still look and feel elegant, you just have to know how to dress a bigger body and where to shop for it. Being overweight does not have to equal looking frumpy, but so many women get sucked into that stereotype!

Anyway... I don't know how to help other than to say that you're not alone in this one, and if you come up with a good solution, let me know!

Re: Honest opinions, please

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Posted by werock0709

It's your wedding day, and I think it's appropriate for both mom's to wear a dress. If she can't do that for you on this one day, well it doesn't say much about her caring about what you want!! JMO

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Honestly isn't that being a LITTLE selfish