Kids @ Reception

I have a concern regarding kids at my reception. My finace's parents as well as my parents have agreed to pay for the guests on their side of the family. Problem is, my FMIL is not inviting any children from her side of the family, which is not a problem for me. I would prefer to have the little ones stay at home. My problem is, she feels that the "kids" who are between the ages of 14-17 shouldn't be invited because she doesn't want to spend the extra $$$. My parents plan on inviting several guests in that age range, and I though it would be great for the "kids" from both sides of the family to get to know each other. And to be honest, these are adults, not kids. I also know for a fact there are a couple of their family members that will be offended by not having their teens there, especially the out of towners. She also wants us to note on the reception card ADULT RECEPTION so she doesn't have to spread it word of mouth. I am totally against it. I feel it is not the correct way to address the invites, yet she says she know people will respond with their children if we don't. I don't know how to approach her. She hasn't requested anything else, so I am stuck between and rock and a hard place. Any suggestions????

Thanks to the wonderful bride who posted the link to the MS Clip Art Gallery, I used a really cute B&G on each card and typed each persons name with "Table #"....I will handwrite in the actual table # in black ink when the seating is finalized.

Kids @ Reception

Jess, I have 2 suggestions:

first - get yourself out of the middle. If this is your finance's mom then let him deal with her. Trust me, its easier.

second - how many 14-17 year olds are we talking about? It may be easier for the 2 of you invite them & pay for them yourselves if its that important to you.

Kids @ Reception

Believe me Karen, I have tried so hard not to get in the middle. My fiance doesn't want to get involved either. The worst part is that there are only 3 teens, and I don't mind paying the difference, but I don't want to offend her. I feel like we'd be saying, "We'll take care of the kids, because your too cheap." I spoke with my mom last night and she told me to let my MIL deal with it. If her side of the family gets offended that it's her problem. I have to make a decision soon, b/c I have to order my invites by the end of the month. Maybe putting adult reception on the reception card would make it a lot easier. Thanks for your suggestions.

I would like to thank the ladies who suggested Patchogue Floral Fantasyland for headpieces, favors, and other arts-n-craft projects. I love that place!!!

Kids @ Reception

This is your wedding so you should have what you want. There is no reason not to invite teens if they are people that YOU want there. There is no reason to get in the middle. Explain to your fmil that they are important people in your life and that you are paying the additional amount yourself. Let her know that you do not want there to be any misunderstandings. You can put adult reception on the cards but send each teen their own invitation so they know they are specifically being invited

Believe me Karen, I have tried so hard not to get in the middle. My fiance doesn't want to get involved either. The worst part is that there are only 3 teens, and I don't mind paying the difference, but I don't want to offend her. I feel like we'd be saying, "We'll take care of the kids, because your too cheap." I spoke with my mom last night and she told me to let my MIL deal with it. If her side of the family gets offended that it's her problem. I have to make a decision soon, b/c I have to order my invites by the end of the month. Maybe putting adult reception on the reception card would make it a lot easier. Thanks for your suggestions.

I would like to thank the ladies who suggested Patchogue Floral Fantasyland for headpieces, favors, and other arts-n-craft projects. I love that place!!!

Kids @ Reception

Jess - Honestly? I don't think its fair for your finance to back off from this. It is HIS wedding and it IS his mother. Someone (one of you) has to deal with it - and he really should be involved.

That being said...I wouldn't worry about offending her. At the end of the day, it is your wedding and you are as just as much of a host as his mom is..and therefore any hurt feelings will be sent your way. It is his family but they will be your family soon too.... : )

You can very politely explain to her that you would like the 3 teens to attend and if financial reasons are the only barrier from inviting them, that you 2 will pick up the tab. Who knows, maybe she doesn't want them there for other reasons..

Kids @ Reception

I don't think there is any reason to put "Adult reception only" When you address the envelopes you include who is invited to the reception by addressing the reception envelopes correctly.

The second thing is that you cannot invite teens from one family and not from the other. Not only will that bother people, it may very well hurt feelings.

I have been kind of whimpy when it comes to telling either sides anything. They give me advice or give their opinion and I do my own thing. What does your fiance think about the teen thing?

Kids @ Reception

I also felt that putting Adult Reception wasn't a good idea,yet I have heard horror stories of people responding with their children, even though the inner envelopes were solely addressed Mr. & Mrs. XXXX. If that's the case then my FMIL will have to call and tell them, sorry no kids, which I think she is trying to avoid doing. She says that they won't care about not being invited, which may be true, but I think the right thing to do is to invited them. My fiance thinks that they are old enough to attend, but he doesn't wnat to cause conflict with his mom since she is contributing. Still Confused.....

Judy

Kids @ Reception

Its good to be concerned about the reponses w/kids.

I had that problem - invited just the parents and they responded for themselves and their 3 year old. Since it was the only one, I decided to let it slide. Still, I hate paying $50 for a dinner for a 3 year old.

I think Adult reception on the invite is OK - but would still invite the teens.

Kids @ Reception

Did any of you approach your MIL. Maybe she will just agree. Otherwise, your fiance needs to speak up. You are not always going to agree on everything. Them contributing is nice however it still doesn't make it their party. You could just say something like, "It would make us very happy if XXXXX came to the wedding" and see what she says.

Besides, unless she has called and asked them if they would be insulted, she just doesn't know.

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