Re: Living together & paying bills! HELP! How do you have your accounts set up?

one joint
two seperate checking/savings

Although to be honest, whats mine is his, and vice versa. We both make so little, it doesn't matter, and we pull and share from all accounts.

Re: Living together & paying bills! HELP! How do you have your accounts set up?

We have joint everything - although after 4 years of it, I can see the value in each having our own money - - - for example, since i do all the bills, I haven't 'allowed' him to buy me a birthday or christmas gifts for the past 2 years - - we've had other financial priorities, so I haven't freed up the money at that time of year. I am considering opening an account for him to use at his discretion - just so he can buy me nice things and surprise me (rather than stressing me out that he's taking from the bills).

I'm odd - but it works for us

Re: Living together & paying bills! HELP! How do you have your accounts set up?

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Posted by july06bride





heres just an example ... you want to throw a surprise party for dh's/dw's birthday...BUT if you use the money he/she will notice a significant amount of money missing- sooo no surprise that something is coming up

or you plan birthday/anniversary/valentines day trip-

or you want to buy him/her a gift-

if you have your own account you will be able to do things like this

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Having one accoutn isn't an issue for us.

We wouldn't never surpise each other with something as huge as a trip. You never really know if the other person thinks it is a great an idea as you do.

For presents, we shop last minute & with Credit cards, so we never get the bills before the gifts!

Re: Living together & paying bills! HELP! How do you have your accounts set up?

Seperate.

The bills have divided themselves into what works best for us.

It may sound stupid to a lot of people, but it's what works for us. And I don't care what people say .. our marriage is not doomed because of this.

It's not a mine/his thing with the money and bills .. it's more like .. he's managing this .. I'm managing that.

It's too much for one person to handle .. and we don't have the time to sit together and go over what we each brought in, and where it should go, priority-wise.

Re: Living together & paying bills! HELP! How do you have your accounts set up?

Although, we have 2 seperate accounts we know the amount of money that we have all together. It makes both of us feel better to have our own accounts. We both work hard and make decent money and don't think that we should always have to consult each other about our smaller purchases. Yes, we are building a life together, but we entered this relationship as 2 self reliante individuals. For us maintaining our own accounts is part of maintaining our own identities. May seem silly to some, but it works well for us.

Re: Living together & paying bills! HELP! How do you have your accounts set up?

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Posted by cjb88

How do you have your bank accounts set up??

FI and I are about to move in to our first house together and Im so worried about paying bills and stuff... my mother was so bad about paying bills that I have turned into a complete control freak about it and I know FI will not deal with that well...

So how does everyone take care of their bills/accounts??

Two separate accounts and split the bills evenly?

One joint account...

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

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as you can probably see from the various responses is that what works for one may not work for another, what one couple sees as 'odd' another doesnt. If I were you I would do what seems to come easy to the
both of you! good luck ! Money stuff always seems to work out..

Re: Living together & paying bills! HELP! How do you have your accounts set up?

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Posted by MonkeyLuv

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Posted by MCDO15

joint check, joint savings

i still dont understand the concept of seperate stash of money

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Because when you have two adults with two very different spending/saving habits, cramming them into one joint account is neither logical nor economically-wise.

It's not a 'separate stash', money isn't hidden, it's simply not all physically pooled.

We have a joint checking and savings at a bank (but really it's mostly his), and I have a separate checking and savings at a credit union.

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We're the same. He is aware of the money in my accounts, so it isn't that I am 'hiding' it. He has expenses he is paying off from before he met me (car loans, school loans), and I committed to a doctoral program before we got married. It's important to me to pay for the program myself, out of my paycheck. This is something I am doing for personal and professional reasons, and though I know it will benefit our funds as a couple, I want to pay for it in it's entirety. Meanwhile, DH is saving and will pay for our anniversary trip to FL out of his separate account. Don't knock what works for other people, since it is a very personal decision.

Re: Living together & paying bills! HELP! How do you have your accounts set up?

We have our own and then we have a joint checking account. He wanted to get more (like a savings account) but I don't want the hassle of changing my name on YET another account when we get married.

Re: Living together & paying bills! HELP! How do you have your accounts set up?

we have a joint checking, and then 2 separate checking/ savings. we both have direct deposit into our own accounts though, so not much goes into the joint. its just easier for us to manage our own money, and we each have our list of bills that were responsible for. it has nothing to do with trust or anything like that... its just easier to divide the responsibilities up

Re: Living together & paying bills! HELP! How do you have your accounts set up?

we have a joint checking and savings and i have my own savings

Re: Living together & paying bills! HELP! How do you have your accounts set up?

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Posted by MonkeyLuv

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Posted by MCDO15

joint check, joint savings

i still dont understand the concept of seperate stash of money

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Because when you have two adults with two very different spending/saving habits, cramming them into one joint account is neither logical nor economically-wise.

It's not a 'separate stash', money isn't hidden, it's simply not all physically pooled.

We have a joint checking and savings at a bank (but really it's mostly his), and I have a separate checking and savings at a credit union.

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totally agree. i'm to the penny and balance the checkbook and write in every transaction. dh doesn't. although he is using his checking less and less, so things will change. so we have sep. checking, then joint savings, joint money market and a joint checking that we don't plan on using yet.

as for bill paying, we have a joint credit card and everything gets charged. however, dh smokes and i personally refuse to pay for his cigs, so we do pay the bills together but it comes from our own accounts. again, partially b/c we have sep. checking. anyway, i pay rent and insurance, he pays for food, utilities and car payments. it is separate but we both know what money is where and talk about it. i'm just very anal about bookkeeping b/c that is what i did for 5 years! therefore, he has spending money that he can play with and i have mine.
it is a slow process for us, but the most important thing is that we talk about our finances every month. neither one of us is in the dark which i feel is most important.

Re: Living together & paying bills! HELP! How do you have your accounts set up?

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Posted by cocoa

however, dh smokes and i personally refuse to pay for his cigs

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but you are paying for them. just cause it came from his account doesn't mean you brought it

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Posted by Jan05Brdie

well for our case, we are saving aggressively for a house ... so it's in both of our interests to have every single red cent available go into that savings account together. Not X amount per month, or him give X and I give Y ... all of our money not related to expenses goes in.

We have a joint play money account that gets money each paycheck. It's for both of us for gifts/vaations/etc ... There isnt a ton in it but enough to cover things like gifts and such.

You have to do what works for you. DH & I feel our money is our money. Not his his, mine mine. It's ours and our life together is shared including money.

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I agree...we want a house. its not in our best intrest to buy x, y or z or to surprise each other with stuff. and even if we were to surprise each other (which we have) we respect each other purchases as long as we are able to take care of bills, living (prioity items)

Re: Living together & paying bills! HELP! How do you have your accounts set up?

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Posted by heidla
For us maintaining our own accounts is part of maintaining our own identities.

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Then what does marriage mean? if something were to happen, are you gonna say you dont know him? personally, everything that happens to her, happens to me. if she is poor, i'm poor, etc....


i'm not bashing anybodies methods... just relateing it to marriage worries me because it seems like the other person needs to get there half to be able to go on vacation.

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Posted by cjb88

we always had the electricty, phone and cable going out because mom didnt pay bills... so naturally now, im very frugal and excellent at saving...

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This sounds way to familiar (this has happen to me numerous times while growing up)

Re: Living together & paying bills! HELP! How do you have your accounts set up?

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Posted by MCDO15

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Posted by cocoa

however, dh smokes and i personally refuse to pay for his cigs

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but you are paying for them. just cause it came from his account doesn't mean you brought it

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i see your point, however, i need to feel like i'm not. it isn't a habit i'm happy with nor support.

i understand what you are saying and agree that marriage and money go together. howver, we are getting there slowly. we have different ways of taking care of money. and my life, growing up, forced me to be very money conscientious and protective. sounds bad, but when you grow up on the verge of welfare, or know that being homeless isn't so far off, you get a different view of money. and from the time i was young, i vowed money would never be an irresponsible thing. therefore, i'm set in my ways about taking care of it i'm getting there. but it is taking time. i have issues i love dh and we talk about money all the time, but i still need to do the combining at my own pace. we are not keeping secret money. but until i figure out how he can have his spending freedoms without me going , then this is what is working. i'm getting there.

Re: Living together & paying bills! HELP! How do you have your accounts set up?

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Posted by MCDO15

Then what does marriage mean? if something were to happen, are you gonna say you dont know him? personally, everything that happens to her, happens to me. if she is poor, i'm poor, etc....

i'm not bashing anybodies methods... just relateing it to marriage worries me because it seems like the other person needs to get there half to be able to go on vacation.

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I have to respectfully disagree with you on some of the points you make.

Yes, you take marriage vows and promise to be there for each other for better, for worse, and you promise to love each other forever...we all know the vows.
But that doesn't mean that you should lose your identity when you get married. You're getting married - not merging bodies. If you lose your own identity within your relationship, you are giving yourself away and that, in my opinion, is dangerous to do.

Having different bank accounts so that each of you can spend money without worrying the other person doesn't mean that your marriage or your bond with each other is any less strong.

My parents have been happily married for 33 years. My father is retired, and my mother works multiple jobs so that she can spend money when she wants to. She has her own checking account and she uses it to buy what she wants to, without dipping into their savings. And it makes her feel good to be able to buy those things, and it makes my father happy knowing that he doesn't have to worry about the money she is spending (he's a worrier)

Honestly, every couple is different. What works for one couple, might not work for another. That doesn't mean that any marriage is better or stronger than another.

Re: Living together & paying bills! HELP! How do you have your accounts set up?

as i said, i dont understand...i'm not bashing them. imo, i think some things related...as long as everybody is happy...go for yours.
different doesn't mean bad....just trying to understand and see different point of views

Re: Living together & paying bills! HELP! How do you have your accounts set up?

joint account for all....... currently i pay the bills.... its alot easier for joint then either of us can withdraw from it.. if dh cant get to the bank i get extra money for him when i go...... dh makes more money than it do but it doesnt matter, it is all going into the same communal place

Re: Living together & paying bills! HELP! How do you have your accounts set up?

WE LIVE TOGETHER RIGHT NOW. RIGHT NOW THE WAY THINGS ARE IS I STILL HAVE MY CHECKING ACCOUNT TO PAT MY BILLS, HE HAS HIS TO PAY HIS BILLS, THEN WE HAVING OUR SAVINGS TOGETHER TO SAVE FOR THE WEDDING AND STUFF LIKE THAT.

Re: Living together & paying bills! HELP! How do you have your accounts set up?

we don't live together but we have one acct that is for the wedding. after that we'll do one checking and one savings, we don't need the added stress of what is 'mine' and what is 'his' the first few months as husband and wife

Re: Living together & paying bills! HELP! How do you have your accounts set up?

Me and DH moved into a house before we got married. We opened a joint account and kept seperate savings accounts. We would each rotate our paychecks...one into joint one into our own. THen when it cames to bills we paid our house ones our of the joint and would pay for our shopping/going out expenses from our own accounts. Once we got married we closed our own and kept and investment one and the joint one. So far it works out great.