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Official FMIL Issue Support Group
MrsStefan Posted: Mar 14, 2006 10:16 PM+
MrsStefan MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 5993 WEDDING DATE: Oct 14, 2006
Posted: Mar 14, 2006 10:16 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Official FMIL Issue Support Group

I have had some issues with FMIL as well....here is my list:
1) Is upset about WHEN I ordered my dress...said that I was being ridiculous for ordering my dress as early as I did
2) Told me and FH that I am the reason the family breaking up
3) Told me and FH and I am causing hard feelings with FSIL because I asked her to order her BM dress by a certain date
4) Told FH that I am 'too controlling' over the wedding and I 'make FH enter into contract with vendors when FH doesn’t want to' (FH had my back on that one)
5) Accused me of lying in an e-mail that I sent to my BMs. FSIL forwarded it to her (what grade are we in?)
6) Told FH that my mother is 'too involved' in the wedding. (NEWS FLASH--my mom and dad are helping us pay...we WANT them involved)
7) Yelled at me after I asked FSIL (in the infamous e4-mail) if she was getting her makeup done for the wedding
8) Told me that I can't insist that my BMs wear a certain thing/get hair done/get makeup done.
9) Told me that I should change my favors and get 'better ones' after she went to a very lavish wedding where the favor must've cost $25 a piece
10) Told me to change my CPs by saying 'oh, THOSE are you favors??? Why don't you do something a little nicer'

The list goes on and on...

Half the time I don’t even think she knows how insulting she is. At this point, I smile and knod and try to keep the peace. Before FH and I were engaged I had a great relationship with her. Then all of a sudden, things changed. I wish it were different
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autumn Posted: Mar 14, 2006 10:56 PM+
autumn MEMBER SINCE: 10/04 TOTAL POSTS : 3126 WEDDING DATE: Oct 07, 2006
Posted: Mar 14, 2006 10:56 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Official FMIL Issue Support Group

After hearing all of you ladies vent, I truly feel sorry for all of you. I hope things will get better after your weddings. I don't understand why some FMIL's act that way. One of my sisters' MIL is a real head case. She threaten to not come to the wedding the day before, I forgot why she was acting imature. My other sister's MIL can be very pushy and annoying. She does have her moments. My FMIL and I had our moments when FH and I started dating. When I met him I had just turned 22 and he was 24. I was into partying and dressing like a s%^#t. She felt I was way to imature for him. I agree, at that time I was because of my age. Through the years we became kind of close. I cannot see her being nasty and spiteful after we get married. I hope she doesn't turn like that. I won't have any SIL or BIL because FH is an only child. So I lucked out.


I wish all of you ladies the best of luck.
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Boston&NY2006 Posted: Mar 15, 2006 12:51 AM+
Boston&NY2006 MEMBER SINCE: 6/05 TOTAL POSTS : 1699 WEDDING DATE: Jul 08, 2006
Posted: Mar 15, 2006 12:51 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Official FMIL Issue Support Group


Posted by ellebelle1

Ok, I'm not trying to sounds sick, but it sounds like the things your FMIL's do are sick. These woman (FMILs) are using their sons as husbands (or admiring males). These women seem to really want some sort of closeness or attention from their sons, which is really inappropriate. It's like another (younger) woman is stealing their husbands (ie. sons).



I totally agree. It's like some sick, reverse Oedipal complex or something...It totally sounds like these crazy FMILs are jealous of the women that are marrying their sons...CREEPY!

Let's all take an oath that we will never behave like this 30 or 40 years from now when our sons are getting married...

I'll start:

I, Boston&NY2006, do hereby swear that I will never be a sick, twisted MIL. I will never be rude, nasty, impolite, or even slighly cold to my son's fiancee. I will welcome my FDIL into my family with open arms because this is the woman my son has chosen to spend his life with, and she is therefore precious to me. I will keep my opinions to myself, I will not try to make their wedding (or their life, or their family) decisions my own, and I will respect them enough to let them make their own choices. Most of all, I will not act like my son is my husband because that's just gross.
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MrsStefan Posted: Mar 15, 2006 08:16 AM+
MrsStefan MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 5993 WEDDING DATE: Oct 14, 2006
Posted: Mar 15, 2006 08:16 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Official FMIL Issue Support Group


Posted by Boston&NY2006


Posted by ellebelle1

Ok, I'm not trying to sounds sick, but it sounds like the things your FMIL's do are sick. These woman (FMILs) are using their sons as husbands (or admiring males). These women seem to really want some sort of closeness or attention from their sons, which is really inappropriate. It's like another (younger) woman is stealing their husbands (ie. sons).



I totally agree. It's like some sick, reverse Oedipal complex or something...It totally sounds like these crazy FMILs are jealous of the women that are marrying their sons...CREEPY!

Let's all take an oath that we will never behave like this 30 or 40 years from now when our sons are getting married...

I'll start:

I, Boston&NY2006, do hereby swear that I will never be a sick, twisted MIL. I will never be rude, nasty, impolite, or even slighly cold to my son's fiancee. I will welcome my FDIL into my family with open arms because this is the woman my son has chosen to spend his life with, and she is therefore precious to me. I will keep my opinions to myself, I will not try to make their wedding (or their life, or their family) decisions my own, and I will respect them enough to let them make their own choices. Most of all, I will not act like my son is my husband because that's just gross.



That is so TRUE! I LOVE IT!!
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adamsangel Posted: Sep 15, 2006 05:55 PM+
adamsangel MEMBER SINCE: 7/05 TOTAL POSTS : 38 WEDDING DATE: Nov 11, 2006
Posted: Sep 15, 2006 05:55 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Official FMIL Issue Support Group

I was soooo happy when I saw this thread...I have SUCH problems with my FMIL...it's worse b/c FH and I have two babies and that justs adds to the drama b/c she's a LUNATIC!! I think we're up to about 5 times now that we'll go for months without speaking to his mother..shes very controlling and I'm sorry but I like to control my life...she craves drama in her life and I just don't have time for it...she is the only person to say bad things about me my entire life...im no saint but im very easygoing and get along with people easy so the fact that FMIL has a problem with me is very disturbing. She and her husband hate each other and sadly enough shes trying to prevent her son from being happy b/c shes so not!!!I wish his brother would get a gf so that FMIL could harass them for a while.She'll act like she likes me but I know the second I'm outta the room she talks about me...she does it to everyone else...and she always goes through FH to tell me stuff...it's so childish an annoying!!!
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betani Posted: Sep 15, 2006 06:50 PM+
betani MEMBER SINCE: 8/06 TOTAL POSTS : 1687 WEDDING DATE: Jul 05, 2008
Posted: Sep 15, 2006 06:50 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Official FMIL Issue Support Group

hm... i don't even know if i want to start b/c i don't know if i'll stop.

in general she can be a very nice person, just high maintanence. but when she crosses the line, she REALLY crosses it.

1) one example: she told fh that i was the most spoiled person she had ever met and did nothing but sit around her house and read her paper and leave plates out, etc, etc. this hurt me SO bad and i spent the rest of the day crying. that is possibly the biggest insult and most hurtful thing someone could ever say to me b/c i try SO hard to NOT be spoiled or lazy and put the least amount of pressure/work on people. i'm constantly cleaning up after myself and doing extra work, asking before i do things, etc. it hurt even more b/c apparently his grandma had made a comment about how ungrateful and lazy we were like two days before.

-i'm NOT spoiled, far from it. if my mom or dad ever knew about this they would rip her apart. i spend nothing, hate accepting gifts, and have worked all my life. we had also spent the last week running errands for her. granted i wasn't working at the time, but it was b/c we were visiting her while moving and she WOULDN'T LET US LEAVE! i had to turn down like 3 jobs b/c i couldn't get up there.

-i was sitting on the couch b/c i had fallen down HER stairs and badly sprained my ankle and i was sick. plus, fh was out running errands for her with the car. what else was i supposed to do? help her maid clean up? i had already done a bunch of errands for her.

-yes i read her paper, but we were all sitting around talking and drinking coffee, she was perfectly capable of reading it too and i offered it to her before i read it.

-fh left ONE plate on the counter. apparently that's my fault. shouldn't be a big deal anyway because she has a MAID!

2) her best friend's son died and she nicely offered to plan the funeral. she then spent the whole day compaining about how much work she had done and blah blah blah (she called the funeral hall and a caterer) and had a friend PUT HER BED AND WAIT ON HER while dishing out compliments about how great she was... um your best friend lost his son, shouldn't he be the one complaining?

3) the next day she was throwing a party (which once again means she calls a decorater, party planner, and caterer) and spent the WHOLE DAY in bed with me waiting on her (serving her meals, etc) with a sprained ankle while fh ran errands from 7am - 6pm. after the party started, i was sent out to run more errands and fh and i had to babysit for her friend's kids. she later complained about the bill on his credit card (which was all for HER stuff for the party since we NEVER use credit and she knows it) and the next day gave us the speech about how lazy and useless we are.

4) she doesn't understand why we can't just stay engaged since all marriages end in divorce according to her and her mother. real uplifting let me tell you...

5) she occasionally treats fh like absolute sh|t - blaming him for everything.

ugh, sorry about that, but it's good to get off your chest since i have no one to talk to about it since i don't want to 'bash' her to fh and my parent's would throw a fit if they found out.

usually she can be really nice, but on occasion she can really just hurt you for no reason whatsoever. i guess she has things going on, but still... don't be mean.
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jencee73 Posted: Sep 15, 2006 07:14 PM+
jencee73 MEMBER SINCE: 1/06 TOTAL POSTS : 254 WEDDING DATE: Nov 05, 2006
Posted: Sep 15, 2006 07:14 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Official FMIL Issue Support Group

Oh thank god for this thread!!!!!!

I have to say, FMIL is actually nice to me, but I do have issues with her on certain matters.

1) She had the nerve to tell me that FH is a disappointment professionally because he didn't finish college, instead he joined the Army and sacrificed 4 years of his life. During his time he went to Afghanistan and Iraq. I don't call that a disappointment, I call that extremely brave & selfless.

2) She can not stop harping about him going to college. She thinks that I will push him. I've told him that if that's what he wants, I will never stop him from doing that. I will support his decision 110%. When he was going to college, he was studying accounting which is what she pushed on him. He actually wanted to join the marines, but she talked him out of it. He hated accounting, so he joined the Army.

3) She can not stop busting my chops about me driving. I'll drive when I am good and ready. I will not be pressured by her.

4) She wants to have our rehearsal dinner the night before my wedding. My wedding is at 11:30 am the next day and I'm leaving my house at 8:00 to go to Milleridge. When the hell am I supposed to get proper rest?????? Is she insane?????

5) When FH and I had our first fight when we started dating, he told me that his mother wished that I had a degree, but was glad that I went to a business school. She should be more concerned on how I treat her son rather if I have a degree. Damn I didn't know it was a prerequist in dating her son to have a degree.

Ok I feel better now
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citycrab705 Posted: Sep 15, 2006 08:20 PM+
citycrab705 MEMBER SINCE: 6/06 TOTAL POSTS : 793 WEDDING DATE: Nov 26, 2006
Posted: Sep 15, 2006 08:20 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Official FMIL Issue Support Group

Sign Me Up

My FMIL hounded me about what my mom was wearing even insisted i show her a picture, so i did, so 3 months till wedding i ask her if she ever got something to wear to the wedding or if she needs me to take her, (she doesn't drive), she says no she has an idea of what she might wear and it is a SURPRISe, what!!! i told her what I am wearing is a surprise not her, so finally she said she is wearing pants, maybe with a jacket from her closet. OK!!, but i guess that is better than the threat of wearing the same dress she wore to FH's brother's wedding 3 years ago,
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luvabul Posted: Jan 04, 2007 01:09 PM+
luvabul MEMBER SINCE: 7/06 TOTAL POSTS : 7191 WEDDING DATE: Jul 04, 2007
Posted: Jan 04, 2007 01:09 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Official FMIL Issue Support Group

this group is great..
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domincan37 Posted: Jan 04, 2007 07:12 PM+
domincan37 MEMBER SINCE: 3/06 TOTAL POSTS : 267 WEDDING DATE: Jun 03, 2007
Posted: Jan 04, 2007 07:12 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Official FMIL Issue Support Group

OK my turn ,my turn
I must say I love my fmil, she is very helpful but I do have things that I hate

1- FH IS IN SCHOOL HE HAS 4 YEARS TO GO FOR PHARMACY SCHOOL, WELL IM IN MY 3 YEAR OF NURSING SCHOOL TOO, WELL SHE IS ALWAYS TELLING ME HOW IM GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF FH WHILE HE IS IN SCHOOL, IM GOING TO HAVE TO PAY ALL THE BILLS( OK SHE IS CRAZY, FOR THAT I RATHER STAY AT MY PARENTS HOUSE THEN TO SUPPORT A 27 YEAR OLD MAN).
2- SHE KEEP TELLING PEOPLE THAT WE ARE GOING TO WAIT 4 YEARS BEFORE WE HAVE KIDS BECAUSE HER SON HAS TO FINISH SCHOOL ( OK WHO'S MARRIAGE IS THIS?)
3- SHE TOLD ME MY SON HAS IT HARDER THEN YOU DO IN SCHOOL SO HE CANT HAVE A FULL TIME JOB RIGHT NOW( OK I WORK FULL TIME AND GO TO SCHOOL FULL TIME, HE NOW WRK FULL TIME BUT WHEN SHE SAID THIS HE WAS PART TIME AND ONLY HAD 2 CLASSES, COME ON)
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cmc Posted: Jan 04, 2007 07:24 PM+
cmc MEMBER SINCE: 11/05 TOTAL POSTS : 365 WEDDING DATE: Nov 03, 2006
Posted: Jan 04, 2007 07:24 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Official FMIL Issue Support Group


Posted by mrsbyrd06

Oh, that's nothin'!! My FMIL is trying to invite the ex to the wedding. She invites the ex to ALL family functions. She will not speak to me when she sees us. She only speaks to FH. She gave us a workbook/book for our engagement present, called 'How To Know If Your Marriage Will Work.' And, she left it at the ex's house so we had to go over there to get it.



OMG, that's horrible. You have to laugh though when they behave like that. I just don't get it.
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luvabul Posted: Jan 04, 2007 08:43 PM+
luvabul MEMBER SINCE: 7/06 TOTAL POSTS : 7191 WEDDING DATE: Jul 04, 2007
Posted: Jan 04, 2007 08:43 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Official FMIL Issue Support Group

thats AWFULLLLLLLLLLL...and EX is and EX for a reason...wow
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ARobles Posted: Jan 04, 2007 10:15 PM+
ARobles MEMBER SINCE: 5/06 TOTAL POSTS : 164 WEDDING DATE: Mar 24, 2007
Posted: Jan 04, 2007 10:15 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Official FMIL Issue Support Group

I thought I was the ONLY one bangbang: bang:.....I could go on for daayyyysss....Good luck ladies...: bangbang
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TLC1018 Posted: Jan 13, 2007 11:01 PM+
TLC1018 MEMBER SINCE: 12/05 TOTAL POSTS : 1570 WEDDING DATE: Apr 06, 2007
Posted: Jan 13, 2007 11:01 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Official FMIL Issue Support Group

I love this support group...SIGN ME UP!!
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luvabul Posted: Jan 13, 2007 11:02 PM+
luvabul MEMBER SINCE: 7/06 TOTAL POSTS : 7191 WEDDING DATE: Jul 04, 2007
Posted: Jan 13, 2007 11:02 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Official FMIL Issue Support Group

seriously...mines has issues too
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SoontobeMrsH Posted: Jan 14, 2007 02:52 AM+
SoontobeMrsH MEMBER SINCE: 10/06 TOTAL POSTS : 7608 WEDDING DATE: Sep 04, 2011
Posted: Jan 14, 2007 02:52 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Official FMIL Issue Support Group

ok, first off: I think we all need that. I really have no grounds to complain, I have a healthy relationship w/ FMIl, she's a lovly woman please don't misunderstand, it's just sometimes I get so fustrated:ie

This morning we went to their house. We're going away they gifted our airfare to us, so we went to book. Last week we looked in to differernt cruises, and decided on a Carnival Liverty (b/c it was a 2005). After researching it all this week, I thought that FH & I decided to go on a Celeberity Ship instead. While were're in FIL's house booking and I go to Celeberity and FH saw the average age of cruise guest & wanted to go on Carnivale. This has changed so I'm asking him questions why? etc. so FMIL is getting annoyed and fustrated at us. She was even like what's the big deal if he wants Carnivale go on Carnivale. Then his dad comes in and starts taling about how the Carnivale line is different from the other lines we've been on, FH is not hearing anything, he just keeps saying, I'm not crusiing w/ the senior citizens. His Mom is getting pissed b/c I'm being difficult, and I feel like such a Jack @ss. FH switched the plan up, I asked questions and I was being difficult. Now, I'm afraid she'll think I'm ungreatful, since she & FFIL are paying for our airfare. Atho FH's b-day present for me is the cruise, I justed wanted to know why we were switching itinerarys
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domincan37 Posted: Jan 14, 2007 11:59 AM+
domincan37 MEMBER SINCE: 3/06 TOTAL POSTS : 267 WEDDING DATE: Jun 03, 2007
Posted: Jan 14, 2007 11:59 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Official FMIL Issue Support Group

OK my fmil just found out that her cousin is dying of cancer, I feel really bad for her and her family, I really do( keep in mind that my fmil hasn't seen her cousin in 20 years), well she came to me and my FH and told us about her cousin ,then she was telling us about their conversation ' I told Renia that IM on a plane to Israel if she wants me to, and I will cancel my son wedding just to be there'
OK can someone f@#king tell me what kind of crazy sh!t is that!!!!!!!!!! My FH told her off she started to cry and make it seem she was the victim but my FH stood ground which IM very proud about!!!! But I just wanted to slap her, really that's how I felt ( I love my FH very much but she is a drama queen). Then she told me if FH AND I HAVE CHILDREN BEFORE 2 YEARS SHE WILL TURN HER BACK ON US!!!!!! GUYS IM SCARED ABOUT MY FMIL I FEEL SHE MIGHT MAKE IT VERY DIFFICULT AT TIME WHILE SHE'S ON THIS EARTH
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I Love my bear Posted: Mar 31, 2007 11:23 PM+
I Love my bear MEMBER SINCE: 1/07 TOTAL POSTS : 1277 WEDDING DATE: May 17, 2008
Posted: Mar 31, 2007 11:23 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Official FMIL Issue Support Group

I can't believe that...yeah FMIL mentions his ex a few times...I just dont' get it. What;s the point???? She's an EX! omg at least my parents know better they would never stutter a word of my ex in my/FH presence. End of story.
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the future mrs m Posted: Apr 01, 2007 08:51 AM+
the future mrs m MEMBER SINCE: 2/07 TOTAL POSTS : 1906 WEDDING DATE: Apr 05, 2008
Posted: Apr 01, 2007 08:51 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Official FMIL Issue Support Group

thank god my fmil is great. but my ex' mother was a NIGHTMARE!
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