Question for fatherless brides...

Since I lost my dear father just this past August I was trying to think of a special way to honor him at my wedding. Anyone have any ideas?!

Re: Question for fatherless brides...

I am mentioning him in the program. I didnt want to do anything else in fear I would turn the happy occation into a sad one.

Re: Question for fatherless brides...

First off I want to say i'm so sorry for your losses. I too lost my father last year. I am going to have him mentioned in the program and possibly have a memory candle. I also plan on carrying or wearing his wedding ring.
Here's a link for the memory candle.
Candle

Re: Question for fatherless brides...

Gosh Jen...that made me cry! What a great idea!! I am really going to consider the candle since I could also put my grandmother's name on it....she passed away last month.
I am sorry for your loss too. It really, really sucks, huh?

Re: Question for fatherless brides...

I an so sorry for your loss I also have seen nice poems to have at your wedding. I plan to honor my grandparents at our wedding but FH wants to keep it short and sweet because he doesn't want to make everyone sad all over again. I disagree, I feel as though it will make me feel his presence even stronger if I make a big deal about it. Ultimately do what feels right!! Good Luck!!!

Re: Question for fatherless brides...

I'm so sorry about your grandmother. If you ever need to talk FM me.

Re: Question for fatherless brides...

I am having a table off to the side at the end of the aisle with a framed poem and a candle for my dad. I am also having the officiant make mention during the ceremony (probably something like . . . at this time B & G would like to remember all those that have passed away but are here in their hearts, especialy Meg's Dad, Robert). Someone suggested that I put a pic of him up, but I dont want to have pic cause it will make me cry. Also some times people leave an empty chair at the reception. I dont like this idea either. To me it seems kinda morbid. And I would be like, 'OH NO you are sitting on my dad!'

Re: Question for fatherless brides...

i mentioned my dad actually i wrote him a letter and it was printed on the back of the program we also said a prayer for him and all the family members that my dh and i lost. the biggest thing i did and you can see if you check my review and click on the link to my videographer. i had him make me a slide show and played it at the reception right after the toast. everyone loved it and it made me feel like he was there after all. im sorry for your loss i know how horrible it can be especially during the planning of your wedding.

Re: Question for fatherless brides...

LOL meg that was hysterical!!!

Re: Question for fatherless brides...

I am planning to put a poem my dad wrote in our program. I am also giving out CDs as the favor and I am putting Luther Vandross's 'Dance With My Father' on the CD.

Re: Question for fatherless brides...

I lost my father two years ago as well and my grandmother in June 2003. I am going to mention them both on the program and perhaps do a memory candle or place a flower on the chairs where they would have sat.

That's a good idea for using 'Dance with My Father' on the favor cd. I may use cd favors as well. One of friends suggested that I play it at the reception but I think that it is a little too much- I wouldn't want to evoke sadness not only for myself and my mother (being that the song does talk a lot about the mother) but also for any guests who may have lost someone.

RE:Question for fatherless brides...

I don't want pity on my wedding day. Everyone's looking for the wedding party, they want to sneak a peak at the bride and her parents. "Where's the father of the bride?" I know this will be asked. I'm not going to light a candle or set a place for a ghost, that's only going to attract more attention to the poor unfortunate bride. It makes me want to skip the entire wedding. There will be no father-daughter dance, and no I'm not using substitutes by having a mother-daughter or brother-sister dance - again I'd rather avoid the pity. There will be no one walking down the aisle with me, I wont be carrying his photo or walking with my mother. I don't want substitutes. I don't want to pretend like it doesn't bother me and that these traditions can be carried out in modern ways - that wouldn't be a tradition. I'm not a traditional bride, my wedding is going to be Star Trek themed. The farthest away from tradition I can get is where you'll find me at my wedding. To me, substitutes only shine a brighter light on the pieces that are missing. This is my day, not my absent fathers. I had several opportunities to have a dad; first one died before I could make a handful of memories, 2nd one who I called dad from ages 1 to 10 changed his mind, third one dipped his toes in then gtfo'd. Oh and there was the one who was waiting to adopt his daughter and wanted to practice with me, even asked me to call him dad once, do you think he's still around? haha. It's not fine, I won't pretend it's fine - it sucks. I've been crying on and off since I got engaged, it really really sucks. But worse than my feelings are everyone else's questions, "Whose going to walk you down the aisle?", "Why not your brother?", "How are you paying for the wedding?", "Are you going to do a tribute?", "Whose going to walk you down the aisle?", "Whose going to walk you down the aisle?", "Whose going to walk you down the aisle?", "Whose going to walk you down the aisle?", "Whose going to walk you down the aisle?", "Whose going to walk you down the aisle?", "Whose going to walk you down the aisle?" NOBODY, just like nobody is going to join me for a father-daughter dance, just like nobody was my dad. I almost had a dad 3 times. 3 strikes you're out. Life is constantly moving forward, to have someone stand-in for someone who never was is moving backwards. I don't have a dad, I'm never going to have a dad, I wont have a dance, I wont have a walk, and I don't want anymore questions on the matter.
Sincerely, Furiously Fatherless. 

RE:Question for fatherless brides...

I'm having my mom walk me down the aisle. These days, I usually see my friend's that have 2 parents, have both their parents walk them down the aisle. I don't think it's weird or will make people pity you.

I'm with you in that I'll just be skipping the father daughter dance all together and don't think it's a big deal.