Brides Helping Brides ™ - Shower Date - Should the Bride Know?

LIWeddings Archive Posted: Jan 23, 2000 02:00 PM+

MEMBER SINCE: 12/69 TOTAL POSTS : 18488 WEDDING DATE: Dec 31, 1969

Posted: Jan 23, 2000 02:00 PM

Shower Date - Should the Bride Know?

Hi Folks:

Is it common for the bride to know her shower date these days? I knew I was having one, but I didn't want to know when. My futuer sister-in-law, mentioned it on the phone (from Texas) like I knew. I was so upset. I really wanted to be surprised and now I know when it is. I thought it was tradition to not know. I feel hurt that she told me but I don't want to be angry, but I feel a little resentment. AND! She isn't even coming.

Thanks, Mark

LIWeddings Archive Posted: Jan 23, 2000 02:00 PM+

MEMBER SINCE: 12/69 TOTAL POSTS : 18488 WEDDING DATE: Dec 31, 1969

Posted: Jan 23, 2000 02:00 PM

Shower Date - Should the Bride Know?

It is tradition for the bride not to know about her shower, but realistically we all know that they'll be something planned for us. It's unfortunate that your sister in law mentioned it, but unless she was told by others that it was a surprise and to keep her lips zipped, I wouldn't hold it against her. Weddings in general are VERY different in Texas than they are here, and that may be true for the bride knowing about the shower as well. I know about my shower, but it isn't taking away from the excitement of the whole event. Besides, it would be silly of me to feel "surprised" pulling up to a VFW type hall a few weeks before my wedding and saying "Ooohh, what are we doing here?".

Thanks, Lisa

Thankfully, I have encountered nicer staff the past 2 times I was there. Maybe I had previously 'caught them on a bad day'. They also did a wonderful job on my bridesmaids dresses.

JennRenee Posted: Jan 23, 2000 02:00 PM+

JennRenee MEMBER SINCE: 3/01 TOTAL POSTS : 8162 WEDDING DATE: Jul 06, 2001

Posted: Jan 23, 2000 02:00 PM

Shower Date - Should the Bride Know?

I have heard so many stories from friends where someone ruined the surprise. I am sure she didn't realize though. I think it is traditional to keep it a surprise. With almost everyone coming in from out of town for mine - my Mom just asked me if I wanted it to be a surprise. When I said no I didn't care - she was like "Thank God!!!" - because it would be very difficult.

As long as everyone realizes everyone has their own individual opinions and doesn't take everyone's opinion to heart, I think we will all be O.K. I know personally, I appreciate the bad comments as well as the good. People should feel free to express themselves. If they have had bad experiences and are willing to tell us about them to prevent the same mistakes from happening, I for one am willing to listen.

Thankfully, I have encountered nicer staff the past 2 times I was there. Maybe I had previously 'caught them on a bad day'. They also did a wonderful job on my bridesmaids dresses.

LIWeddings Archive Posted: Jan 23, 2000 02:00 PM+

MEMBER SINCE: 12/69 TOTAL POSTS : 18488 WEDDING DATE: Dec 31, 1969

Posted: Jan 23, 2000 02:00 PM

Shower Date - Should the Bride Know?

Hi Kate. I think it depends on the bride. Some might want to know about the shower. Others want it to be a surprise. I am sure that your future SIL didnt mean to spill the beans. If you feel bad knowing about it imagine how bad she feels letting the cat out of the bag. Most showers I have been to have been a surprise. And my mom and the MOH gave me no choice but for it to be a surprise. Funny story is that I was at a bridal shower a few years ago. What they did was they took the bride out the night before and she stayed over a friends house. Well they drank a little too much and the next day she walks into her house all hung over with sweatpants on to a room of 60 women yelling surprise. Once instance where you dont want a surprise. At least if you know when the shower is you wont show up in sweats. Take care.

As long as everyone realizes everyone has their own individual opinions and doesn't take everyone's opinion to heart, I think we will all be O.K. I know personally, I appreciate the bad comments as well as the good. People should feel free to express themselves. If they have had bad experiences and are willing to tell us about them to prevent the same mistakes from happening, I for one am willing to listen.

Thankfully, I have encountered nicer staff the past 2 times I was there. Maybe I had previously 'caught them on a bad day'. They also did a wonderful job on my bridesmaids dresses.

LIWeddings Archive Posted: Jan 23, 2000 02:00 PM+

MEMBER SINCE: 12/69 TOTAL POSTS : 18488 WEDDING DATE: Dec 31, 1969

Posted: Jan 23, 2000 02:00 PM

Shower Date - Should the Bride Know?

Thanks for the input ladies. It did give me a different outlook

Everybody, I am looking for information for favors. I would like to look into candles and I remember that at someone recomended a few websides and one was called Michaels but I can't find it. Any suggestions will be helpful!!

Thanks,