Re: Spinoff from a post on the 04 board about Too young to get married

I was 30 yrs old when I got engaged, we were dating for 2 years b4 we got enagaged, and I will be 32 when I get married . I was once engaged to a total idiot, we have since nicknamed him'the idiot'. I was 25 when I was engaged to him, we were together for almost 8 years, and I caught him cheating on me, and broke it off fast! I was more relieved when I broke it off. When I met FH I knew he was the one for me. He felt the same way, we took it slow. It really is not the age, it is the maturity of the couple. Ps Ex fiancee- aka'idiot' is in a miserable marriage now.

Re: Spinoff from a post on the 04 board about Too young to get married

I was 21 when I got engaged and will be 23 when I get married. I was 2 months away from graduating college when we got enagaed and we had a 2 year engagement. We both have good jobs now and are paying for the wedding ourselves!
I don't think it depends on age but rather life experiences and maturity. To just say an age that you think is acceptable to get married is not fair. That may be true for yourself, but not for everybody.
A good way to judge is to see how the families react. When I got engaged I was only 21 but our families and friends reactions were 'Its about time!!!' We were together 5 1/2 years before getting engaged and it will be 7 1/2 before getting married.
This is a sensitive subject for me because I look younger than I am and I often get rude remarks from Strangers about being too young. These people don't know anything about me or my life! I don't think it is right to judge people based on race, gender, religion, income, etc. It is also not OK to make assumptions based on age!

Re: Spinoff from a post on the 04 board about Too young to get married

My Fi and I were 23 when we were engaged. I will be 24 when we are married and he will be 25 (by only a few days) We have been dating since Sept 2003 (about 5 and a half years) We did discuss marriage while we were in College but we wanted to graduate first. I am so happy we did. I will be entering grad school this Sept ...so I will be in grad school while we are married



michelle

Re: Spinoff from a post on the 04 board about Too young to get married

I was 27 and FH was 37 when we got engaged and the response we got was 'it took you long enough.' My mother has been talking about my wedding since I was 18 which has always bothered me a little, because I felt like she was trying to marry me off and made me develop a 'what's the rush' attitude. Hence my 2 year engagement.

Re: Spinoff from a post on the 04 board about Too young to get married

I'm 22 and FH just turned 25. When we get married I'll be 24 he'll be 26. Our families are thrilled and cant wait. They want us to have a honeymoon baby. It all has to do with maturity. We both matured pretty quickly do to family circumstances, and we wouldnt have it any other way.

Re: Spinoff from a post on the 04 board about Too young to get married

My parents got married older themselves so there was absolutely no pressure either way. I was 29 and he 34 when we got engaged!! I guess you could say it was about time!!

Re: Spinoff from a post on the 04 board about Too young to get married

Ok well this isn't going to be a popular opinion but i feel that under 24-25 is too young. I met my first boyfriend at 17 and we dated 5 years ...i thought he was 'the one'...he wasn't (in fact i think he is gay now). I met my next serious boyfriend at age 25..after 2 years i thought he was 'the one' ..he wasn't. After each of these relationships i learned what I WANTED..what kind of person i was looking for.
I still think you have a lot of learning to do in your early 20's to know who is and who isn't the one. More importantly i needed to learn who i was.

My mom was thrilled..my dad..well i am his little girl. But if it were my child i would urge them to wait.

Re: Spinoff from a post on the 04 board about Too young to get married

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Posted by oct.2004bride

Ok well this isn't going to be a popular opinion but i feel that under 24-25 is too young. I met my first boyfriend at 17 and we dated 5 years ...i thought he was 'the one'...he wasn't (in fact i think he is gay now). I met my next serious boyfriend at age 25..after 2 years i thought he was 'the one' ..he wasn't. After each of these relationships i learned what I WANTED..what kind of person i was looking for.
I still think you have a lot of learning to do in your early 20's to know who is and who isn't the one. More importantly i needed to learn who i was.

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1/3 of the people on this site are 25 or younger (taken from the how old are you poll).
For YOU 24-25 is too young. Your experience does not apply to everyone. I agree that MOST people aren't ready at that age, but some are. I agree with you about learning who you are before you get married. But who is to say you don't know yourself under 25? I am not trying to be mean and I respect your opinion, but wouldn't it be better to base readiness for marriage on maturity and knowing yourself and knowing what you want in life, rather than stating the age at which you were ready and applying it to everyone else?

Re: Spinoff from a post on the 04 board about Too young to get married

Well I feel like an 'old bag' on this site. I got engaged at 31 but wil be 32 when I get married next summer. We dated for almost 4years before he proposed and I am glad we waited. If I personally had gotten engaged when I was younger, I would have felt like I missed out on something. It really depends on the person. I wanted to have fun and party and all that. Now I am ready to take the big step!

Re: Spinoff from a post on the 04 board about Too young to get married

I got engaged on my 21st Birthday. My mom asked me to wait 2 years. Till I was 23. Even though we had been together FOREVER! We will be together for 9 years by the time we get married! I think it was a good choice.

Re: Spinoff from a post on the 04 board about Too young to get married

I didnt reply on the 2004 board.
Normally I'd say 18/19 is too young..

But I can't say that. I have two VERY close and good friends who got MARRIED at 18/19 (she was 19, he 18) because they loved eachother. They have no kids and both have now finished college and are still married.. over 10 years!!!!

My parents had their first child at 21 and second at 25 (me). I really find it hard to say this or that is too young. I think it depends on the people themselves.

I got engaged at 27 (2 months shy of my 28th bday) and my father was darned happy (about time).

My first engagement, I was 21. Father was alright with it.. why shouldnt he be.. he raised me right and trusted me. I've always been more mature than he thought I'd be. I broke off that engagement 6months later. Dad was right there for me. No biggie. 'you did what you had to do'. My father has always supported me because he feels he raised me to a standard of extreme values and meaningful morals.

So is there such a thing as too young? I don't know honestly. I'll admit i freak out when I see 17 year olds get married but hey.. what do I know about their relationship.

Re: Spinoff from a post on the 04 board about Too young to get married

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Posted by oct.2004bride

Ok well this isn't going to be a popular opinion but i feel that under 24-25 is too young. I met my first boyfriend at 17 and we dated 5 years ...i thought he was 'the one'...he wasn't (in fact i think he is gay now). I met my next serious boyfriend at age 25..after 2 years i thought he was 'the one' ..he wasn't. After each of these relationships i learned what I WANTED..what kind of person i was looking for.
I still think you have a lot of learning to do in your early 20's to know who is and who isn't the one. More importantly i needed to learn who i was.

My mom was thrilled..my dad..well i am his little girl. But if it were my child i would urge them to wait.

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I understand what youre saying (I think) I got burned harshly by this one love of my life. I have spoken about him on here before. There will be no other like him. I have been engaged before too.. It's not the AGE as much as the experience I am grateful for. I almost wish I didnt have to say that i grew up fast because of it. Jim and I started dating in 2000 I was 24. We may have been engaged by the end of 2001 if not for 9/11. I pushed it off for a year and we got engaged in 2003 when I was 27.

Experience and bad relationships taught me what I WANT for a husband and I am grateful. Im not just 'in love' with my husband, I respect him and I am content. Good times, bad times and I am ok with growing old with him (it should be fun). It's not just a flash in the pan 'oh my god I love you and you love me and you asked me to marry you .. whoohooo! lets do it' we both really really thought this out being that we've both been hurt before. I almost WISH I was that joyous innocent again to say 'whoohooo' all I can say is Im thrilled to be married to a man who loves me so much. I love to make him smile and laugh and hope to do it for a long time.

Re: Spinoff from a post on the 04 board about Too young to get married

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Posted by julz33

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1/3 of the people on this site are 25 or younger (taken from the how old are you poll).
For YOU 24-25 is too young. Your experience does not apply to everyone. I agree that MOST people aren't ready at that age, but some are. I agree with you about learning who you are before you get married. But who is to say you don't know yourself under 25? I am not trying to be mean and I respect your opinion, but wouldn't it be better to base readiness for marriage on maturity and knowing yourself and knowing what you want in life, rather than stating the age at which you were ready and applying it to everyone else?

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i agree with you 100% well said!

Re: Spinoff from a post on the 04 board about Too young to get married

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Posted by julz33

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Posted by oct.2004bride

Ok well this isn't going to be a popular opinion but i feel that under 24-25 is too young. I met my first boyfriend at 17 and we dated 5 years ...i thought he was 'the one'...he wasn't (in fact i think he is gay now). I met my next serious boyfriend at age 25..after 2 years i thought he was 'the one' ..he wasn't. After each of these relationships i learned what I WANTED..what kind of person i was looking for.
I still think you have a lot of learning to do in your early 20's to know who is and who isn't the one. More importantly i needed to learn who i was.

.

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1/3 of the people on this site are 25 or younger (taken from the how old are you poll).
For YOU 24-25 is too young. Your experience does not apply to everyone. I agree that MOST people aren't ready at that age, but some are. I agree with you about learning who you are before you get married. But who is to say you don't know yourself under 25? I am not trying to be mean and I respect your opinion, but wouldn't it be better to base readiness for marriage on maturity and knowing yourself and knowing what you want in life, rather than stating the age at which you were ready and applying it to everyone else?

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the post was asking for OUR OPINION!!! I gave mine. And i don't edit my opinion just because of the people who may read it. Someone asked i answered. I am basing MY OPINION on MY EXPERIENCE..which i thought was a implied by the constant I's.

Re: Spinoff from a post on the 04 board about Too young to get married

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Posted by Xelindrya

I understand what youre saying (I think) I got burned harshly by this one love of my life. I have spoken about him on here before. There will be no other like him. I have been engaged before too.. It's not the AGE as much as the experience I am grateful for. I almost wish I didnt have to say that i grew up fast because of it. Jim and I started dating in 2000 I was 24. We may have been engaged by the end of 2001 if not for 9/11. I pushed it off for a year and we got engaged in 2003 when I was 27.

Experience and bad relationships taught me what I WANT for a husband and I am grateful. Im not just 'in love' with my husband, I respect him and I am content. Good times, bad times and I am ok with growing old with him (it should be fun). It's not just a flash in the pan 'oh my god I love you and you love me and you asked me to marry you .. whoohooo! lets do it' we both really really thought this out being that we've both been hurt before. I almost WISH I was that joyous innocent again to say 'whoohooo' all I can say is Im thrilled to be married to a man who loves me so much. I love to make him smile and laugh and hope to do it for a long time.

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I agree with you. I can only base my opinions on my experience. So that is why i answered the way i did. It was not to offend the younger ladies here.

Re: Spinoff from a post on the 04 board about Too young to get married

i agree with you 100 % julz

Re: Spinoff from a post on the 04 board about Too young to get married

Let's face it, anyone older will feel the need to express concern b/c chances are someone older has experienced a situation and wants the younger person to avoid making the same mistake. that is what our mom's do, our older sisters do, our friends do...nobody wants to see someone they care for get hurt!!! so if someone older feels that someone is too young for something, accept that it is concern and not judgement. how many of you have tattoos that you regret, and every time you see it, you hear your mom's voice saying 'i told you so'? (side note, i loooove mine). but that is what this is about. as long as we all have someone older than us in our lives, be it by three hours or thrity years, we will always get something like this.

Re: Spinoff from a post on the 04 board about Too young to get married

I don't understand why younger brides get so defensive about this age thing. If someone older than me told me I was too young to get married at 25 I wouldn't get upset, I would hope that they are wrong in my case and continue to believe that I am mature enough and know myself well enough to KNOW that I am ready for marriage so there is no need to get defensive. And everyone's entitled to their opinion.

I noticed that I did alot of growing and maturing between 21 and 23. So, based on my experiences and what I've seen, it is my opinion that, generally speaking, alot of women under 23 might not be ready for marriage. I should be able to say that without offending anyone because anyone included in that group that disagrees, I'm sure has good reasons (life experiences, etc) why they believe they are an exception and can count themselves as an exception without taking offense. I noticed a couple of girls on here were able to do that.

The thing about it is that as indignant as younger brides become about this age thing, they just WON'T understand what older brides are saying until they also reach that age, married or not. You know what they say about hindsight. If you look back on yourself when you were 16 - did you think the same way you do now? Well, it's almost that much of a difference for some people. This is not to say that ALL women under a certain age are too young to get married or that marriages that start off that young won't succeed.

I even read somewhere once that 'women in their twenties have no business getting married'.

I understand where you are coming from Oct.2004bride, and I don't take offense. I also hope I have not offended anyone else.

Re: Spinoff from a post on the 04 board about Too young to get married

I appreciate the post Jimmysbride. I wasn't trying to offend anyone and i think what you wrote is correct.
It was never my intention to offend the younger girls on this board

Re: Spinoff from a post on the 04 board about Too young to get married

i agree with you. i did a lot of growing up in terms of getting to know myself during my early twenties. while i feel very much the same on certain subjects now as i did 10 years ago, my views have changed on other things. life is about experiences and each experience, tiny or big, will continuously change who are you and who you will become.