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Spinoff to Afternoon Wedding Attire
LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Oct 18, 2005 12:22 PM+
LaurenluvsTJ MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 11866 WEDDING DATE: May 28, 2006
Posted: Oct 18, 2005 12:22 PM bride-minus.png

Spinoff to Afternoon Wedding Attire

I noticed some people mentioning wearing evening gowns to afternoon weddings.
Here's a question:
Would you wear an 'evening gown' to a night wedding if the invitation did not state 'black tie or white tie'? I know I wouldn't. I consider an 'evening gown' to be something really, really fancy- and if the woman is wearing an evening gown, then the man should be wearing a tuxedo. To me, an evening gown is for an ultra-formal affair. I am thinking about something long and maybe satin with beading or sequins of somesort. Like a bridesmaid or prom dress sort of thing.

I think any wedding is a formal affair, even in the afternoon. If the invitation was black or white tie, then thats ultra-formal, and needs ultra formal (eve. gown and tux) attire. In my whole life, I do not think I have EVER worn an evening gown, to any affair. My wedding dress will be my first ultra formal dress.

Sorry so long. As a daytime bride, I am a little offened by the people who say that it is not a formal affair. Just because I choose to have the wedding in the afternoon (no matter what the reason), I still think I deserve the only formal party I will probably ever have in my life. I would be upset if the men showed up in pants and a shirt, no jacket or tie, and women were wearing more casual dresses. Would I cry over it and let it ruin my day? No. But I would be a little upset.
LuvMyFH Posted: Oct 18, 2005 12:27 PM+
LuvMyFH MEMBER SINCE: 6/05 TOTAL POSTS : 595 WEDDING DATE: Nov 05, 2006
Posted: Oct 18, 2005 12:27 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Spinoff to Afternoon Wedding Attire

Well I am too an afternoon bride and I agree that the guest should still wear formal attire.

I would also be upset if my guest came dressed in clothing that is not formal..

I know that my guest that are close to me (not in the BP) will dress formal, and if someone does dress more casual I hope they feel out of place.

I agree with all of your comments!!

A day wedding should be taken just as formal as an evening wedding!!! It makes me mad that people think it's not as formal
Hallowedding Posted: Oct 18, 2005 12:28 PM+
Hallowedding MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 1385 WEDDING DATE: Oct 29, 2006
Posted: Oct 18, 2005 12:28 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Spinoff to Afternoon Wedding Attire

We went to a wedding that was black tie optional at the Woodbury Jewish Center on a Sunday afternoon. The dress varied from women in gowns to people in dressy pants and a shirt (just slightly more dressy than work clothes.)

I wore a long black dress with spaghetti straps and a beaded design on it. I did not think to modify my attire based on the time of the wedding. I think the location of a wedding should determine the level of dress. I would not have worn that dress to a backyard wedding or a more casual wedding garden party.

I, too, am having a mid-day wedding and while I don't expect black tie, I do expect formal attire - suits and ties for the men and dresses or pant suits for the women. It's October, so I do not expect simple sundresses, but if it were in a summer month, I would not appreciate people dressing so casually.
evnme Posted: Oct 18, 2005 12:30 PM+
evnme MEMBER SINCE: 6/05 TOTAL POSTS : 9537 WEDDING DATE: May 21, 2006
Posted: Oct 18, 2005 12:30 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Spinoff to Afternoon Wedding Attire

JMO, but i think that if the wedding is in the evening,then i would wear a more dressy dress and for afternoon weddings it's more cocktail attire (unless it says differently on the invite).

if u want your daytime wedding to be formal, then it's a good idea to put that on the invite (or people may come less dressed up)
CJStein Posted: Oct 18, 2005 12:34 PM+
CJStein MEMBER SINCE: 11/04 TOTAL POSTS : 2628 WEDDING DATE: Mar 18, 2006
Posted: Oct 18, 2005 12:34 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Spinoff to Afternoon Wedding Attire

I just went to a black tie wedding on a Saturday night at someone's home under a tent...very few women wore gowns, they were mostly wearing cocktail lenght gowns.

If it's a day wedding, I don't go non-formal, but I feel a little better about wearing a non-black dress, or maybe a dress w/ a pattern on it. I would never dress down and insult the bride and groom, but I do think that the time of day does set a tone for guests attire.
JMHO. Sorry.

However, if people showed up at a daytime wedding (or any wedding, no matter the time or place) in 'work' clothes, I would be upset though..and I've seen it done. Very tacky in my opinion.
alioop4282 Posted: Oct 18, 2005 12:40 PM+
alioop4282 MEMBER SINCE: 8/05 TOTAL POSTS : 2065 WEDDING DATE: Jan 02, 2009
Posted: Oct 18, 2005 12:40 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Spinoff to Afternoon Wedding Attire

A wedding is a wedding..whether it's light outside or dark!
People should dress APPROPRIATELY..meaning they should not look like pigs..they should be dressed up. Will the bride not wear a wedding dress because her wedding is in the day??! No. So, just because it's in the day doesn't mean people shouldn't get dressed up. Maybe people shouldn't be in $2000 designer floor length gowns but they should look nice and dressed for a wedding.
BHW Posted: Oct 18, 2005 12:58 PM+
BHW MEMBER SINCE: 7/05 TOTAL POSTS : 1474 WEDDING DATE: Sep 25, 2005
Posted: Oct 18, 2005 12:58 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Spinoff to Afternoon Wedding Attire


Posted by evnme

JMO, but i think that if the wedding is in the evening,then i would wear a more dressy dress and for afternoon weddings it's more cocktail attire (unless it says differently on the invite).

if u want your daytime wedding to be formal, then it's a good idea to put that on the invite (or people may come less dressed up)



I agree. I wouldn't wear a long dress to a daytime wedding unless the invitation specified black tie or black tie optional. At the same time, I'd never wear a sun dress or work clothes to a daytime wedding. I think cocktail attire is appropriate during the day. I equate an evening affair with more formal attire. An afternoon affair may be just as nice and elegant, but I'd wear a less formal dress.

Even though we want our weddings to be formal, most people do not consider an afternoon wedding to be as formal and they will dress accordingly. When we went to our reception hall to finalize the menu (on a Saturday afternoon), we saw wedding guests wearing sundresses and other very casual outfits. I had an afternoon wedding and would not want my guests to dress as casually as those guests, but I did not expect people to wear long fancy dresses.

I honestly couldn't tell you what my guests wore though b/c I wasn't paying attention. I was busy having the time of my life and not thinking or worrying about what people chose to wear to my wedding. What your guests wear may be a big deal to you now (and maybe you'll be bothered by it when you see your pics), but you'll probably be too busy caught up in the moment to even notice on your wedding day.
EvenEdan Posted: Oct 18, 2005 12:59 PM+
EvenEdan MEMBER SINCE: 11/02 TOTAL POSTS : 3110 WEDDING DATE: Nov 27, 2004
Posted: Oct 18, 2005 12:59 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Spinoff to Afternoon Wedding Attire

Saying that a long gown is not appropriate for a daytime affair is in no way belittling the affair or implying people should come dressed as slobs. Of course, people should be dressed beautifully and appropriately, but the bottom line is daytime affairs are not as formal as evening affairs. It's not an insult, one is not better than the other, they are just different, it's a style preference-—many brides chose daytime affairs because they want a less formal setting. You are being extremely defensive and sensitive about this, as far as I could tell nobody was attacking daytime weddings.
bethsiar Posted: Oct 18, 2005 01:07 PM+
bethsiar MEMBER SINCE: 7/02 TOTAL POSTS : 3067 WEDDING DATE: May 30, 2004
Posted: Oct 18, 2005 01:07 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Spinoff to Afternoon Wedding Attire

Honestly, people just don't get dressed up anymore. I was shocked about what some people were wearing at my SILs wedding recently. Shortsleeve dress shirts with no tie or anything (would a tie even make that better? I dont even know if it would! lol) but people (including brides) just have to learn to accept that.

I always try to wear floor length gowns to evening weddings, its the only time I get to! (except for New Years) and I think most LIW girls agree - here are a whole bunch of LIW girls at ChristineandRobs wedding






She had an evening Saturday night wedding so we all wore floorlength dresses (and I stood out b/c I wasnt wearing black! lol)
ETA: none of us discussed it or anything beforehand
Goldi1021 Posted: Oct 18, 2005 01:23 PM+
Goldi1021 MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 12766 WEDDING DATE: Feb 18, 2006
Posted: Oct 18, 2005 01:23 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Spinoff to Afternoon Wedding Attire

I caught a lot of crap for making my wedding black tie. People were telling me it was wrong to tell people how to dress. Or that it was an expense to men to make them rent a tux blah blah blah. Well guess what? There was once a time when people automatically KNEW that an event given on a Saturday night was formal. They KNEW that tuxedos were the appropriate form of dress and even gowns (Im not talking couture runway stuff - rather long dresses) were expected. If people still knew this, there would be no need to indicate how you would like your guests to appear. You would be surprised how some people choose to dress - hoochie dresses and jackets with no ties.

I remember a time when I was a child and people would actually wear dresses and tuxedos and suits to the theater. It was an evening out - worthy of elegance. Times have changed, people have changed and that I do understand. But I would STILL NEVER show up to a Saturday night wedding or an afternoon wedding in a skirt and blouse and I would not be seen with FH if he wore dockers and a sports jacket to a Saturday night wedding.

It is not too much to ask an adult man to have a dark suit in his wardrobe (that would be MORE than appropriate AND acceptable for a black tie as well as an afternoon function). It is not too much to expect a woman to have at least one formal ensemble in her wardrobe - even if she is on a budget. Shoot, I am a poor school teacher and I have 4-5 such ensembles - guess where I got them - FILENES CLEARANCE RACKS. It does not take much more than a bit of effort to look nice.

Though I may have steered slightly from the topic, my rant concludes here.
bethsiar Posted: Oct 18, 2005 01:25 PM+
bethsiar MEMBER SINCE: 7/02 TOTAL POSTS : 3067 WEDDING DATE: May 30, 2004
Posted: Oct 18, 2005 01:25 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Spinoff to Afternoon Wedding Attire


Posted by Goldi1021

I caught a lot of crap for making my wedding black tie. People were telling me it was wrong to tell people how to dress. Or that it was an expense to men to make them rent a tux blah blah blah. Well guess what? There was once a time when people automatically KNEW that an event given on a Saturday night was formal. They KNEW that tuxedos were the appropriate form of dress and even gowns (Im not talking couture runway stuff - rather long dresses) were expected. If people still knew this, there would be no need to indicate how you would like your guests to appear. You would be surprised how some people choose to dress - hoochie dresses and jackets with no ties.

I remember a time when I was a child and people would actually wear dresses and tuxedos and suits to the theater. It was an evening out - worthy of elegance. Times have changed, people have changed and that I do understand. But I would STILL NEVER show up to a Saturday night wedding or an afternoon wedding in a skirt and blouse and I would not be seen with FH if he wore dockers and a sports jacket to a Saturday night wedding.

It is not too much to ask an adult man to have a dark suit in his wardrobe (that would be MORE than appropriate AND acceptable for a black tie as well as an afternoon function). It is not too much to expect a woman to have at least one formal ensemble in her wardrobe - even if she is on a budget. Shoot, I am a poor school teacher and I have 4-5 such ensembles - guess where I got them - FILENES CLEARANCE RACKS. It does not take much more than a bit of effort to look nice.

Though I may have steered slightly from the topic, my rant concludes here.




I was waiting for your post- and you did not dissapoint! well said!
Goldi1021 Posted: Oct 18, 2005 01:31 PM+
Goldi1021 MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 12766 WEDDING DATE: Feb 18, 2006
Posted: Oct 18, 2005 01:31 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Spinoff to Afternoon Wedding Attire

Why thank you. With about 85-90% of my guest list of males being over the age of 35 and from the NY metropolitan area, there is absolutely NO excuse why any of them shouldnt own a tux or a dark suit. You can get a suit at Mens Wearhouse for under $200. I dont know abut you guys, but I LOVE dressing up.
eroxgirl Posted: Oct 18, 2005 01:32 PM+
eroxgirl MEMBER SINCE: 11/02 TOTAL POSTS : 6593 WEDDING DATE: Jun 19, 2004
Posted: Oct 18, 2005 01:32 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Spinoff to Afternoon Wedding Attire


Posted by bethsiar

I always try to wear floor length gowns to evening weddings, its the only time I get to! (except for New Years) and I think most LIW girls agree - here are a whole bunch of LIW girls at ChristineandRobs wedding



She had an evening Saturday night wedding so we all wore floorlength dresses (and I stood out b/c I wasnt wearing black! lol)
ETA: none of us discussed it or anything beforehand



And I have been dying to wear that gown again! But I've only gone to afternoon weddings since that time.

I'm sorry if you feel offended because I said I would never wear an evening gown to a day wedding, but there's no reason to feel offended -. I didn't make the rule, I just follow etiquette as much as I can because that's how I was raised. Many people don't anymore, and that's fine, but I do.

I brought a friend with me to a day wedding many years ago and she wore a gown (she always wears gowns) and she felt very uncomfortable because of it. At my wedding I had one guest who wore a gown and I have to say MANY people thought she looked inappropriate. If anything, I take more offense to the fact that she was trying to draw attention to herself by being inappropriately dressed in an evening gown than if she wore a sundress.

Like someone else said, if you want your guests to be dressed more formally, you should mention it on your invitation because most of the people I know would dress less formally because of the time of day, and it isn't an insult to you.
October Bliss Posted: Oct 18, 2005 01:39 PM+
October Bliss MEMBER SINCE: 8/05 TOTAL POSTS : 7633 WEDDING DATE: Oct 08, 2006
Posted: Oct 18, 2005 01:39 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Spinoff to Afternoon Wedding Attire

I have been to two afternoon weddings. At both of them I wore tea length dress. One dress was the one the bride picked out for her BP, the other was IMHO a very elegant pink dress with embroidery and lace trim. Both weddings were in Virginia. Would I wear either to a LI afternoon wedding? No. I just went to a Sweet 16 and wore a floor length dress, because her mother told me the b-day girl was wearing a ballgown. However, at that party (and yes it was a Sweet 16 not a wedding, but still) I saw several men in jeans and white t-shirts (like the b-day girl's grandfather, bio-father) UGH!!!!

My sister had a Saturday afternoon wedding in May '04, the best man's wife showed up in a sun dress and flip-flops!!! IMO - no class! She stuck out like a sore thumb. I wish people didn't have to be told how to dress, and just knew what was appropriate, but unfortunately they don't.
cloddy Posted: Oct 18, 2005 01:57 PM+
cloddy MEMBER SINCE: 12/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1071 WEDDING DATE: Jun 04, 2005
Posted: Oct 18, 2005 01:57 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Spinoff to Afternoon Wedding Attire

It's funny, normally the color of a dress would be what would vary for me more so than style or length for day v. night, but people really do have no clue what to do with afternoon affairs. Some guests wore a lacy cotton top and cotton skirt and short sleeve jacket and matching skirt. More churchwear or workwear than wedding attire in my opinion, but to each his own. I was surprised, but I didn't really care. If anything I think they'd be the ones who'd feel awkward, not me.

Length of a dress is usually one indication of formality. Although so is fabric/material, which truthfully I think makes a bigger difference. I have long dresses that are perfectly accepable for daytime because they are not gowns per se. And the same goes in reverse. I'm always surprised that people will wear any long dress no matter how informal (i.e. rayon sundress) and think that just because it is long they have satisfied the requirement to dress formal. It's certainly all of a matter of taste and personal style and there will always be people who just don't get it.
stephanief Posted: Oct 18, 2005 02:14 PM+
stephanief MEMBER SINCE: 7/05 TOTAL POSTS : 4525 WEDDING DATE: Apr 15, 2006
Posted: Oct 18, 2005 02:14 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Spinoff to Afternoon Wedding Attire


Posted by EvenEdan

Saying that a long gown is not appropriate for a daytime affair is in no way belittling the affair or implying people should come dressed as slobs. Of course, people should be dressed beautifully and appropriately, but the bottom line is daytime affairs are not as formal as evening affairs. It's not an insult, one is not better than the other, they are just different, it's a style preference-—many brides chose daytime affairs because they want a less formal setting. You are being extremely defensive and sensitive about this, as far as I could tell nobody was attacking daytime weddings.



well said, I agree 100%
engd4evr Posted: Oct 18, 2005 02:24 PM+
engd4evr MEMBER SINCE: 2/03 TOTAL POSTS : 155 WEDDING DATE: Oct 16, 2004
Posted: Oct 18, 2005 02:24 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Spinoff to Afternoon Wedding Attire


Posted by cloddy


Length of a dress is usually one indication of formality. Although so is fabric/material, which truthfully I think makes a bigger difference. I have long dresses that are perfectly accepable for daytime because they are not gowns per se. And the same goes in reverse. I'm always surprised that people will wear any long dress no matter how informal (i.e. rayon sundress) and think that just because it is long they have satisfied the requirement to dress formal. It's certainly all of a matter of taste and personal style and there will always be people who just don't get it.



I totally agree. There is such a thing as daytime formal but it is not that same as an evening gown (that name exists for a reason) As a rule, for an afternoon wedding I would shy away from things that are very sexy, low cut, backless, heavy beading, etc since those are more 'evening'. Note that this does not generally apply to the bride who is usually expected to be a step more formal than the guests. We had an afternoon wedding and people wore everything you can imagine but all of the men wore ties and jackets (not all suits) some wore sportcoats but you get the idea. Daytime formal for women might include a dressy suit (skirt or pants), dress with a jacket, or a less revealing dress.

The problem is that many people do not often attend formal events and the whole country has been getting more casual over time (have you seen people shoping or on planes lately? they're wearing pyjamas!). At the end of the day, you won't care that someone wore something a little too casual, just that they came to celebrate your marriage with you!
Mrs. dleeny Posted: Oct 18, 2005 02:26 PM+
Mrs. dleeny MEMBER SINCE: 3/05 TOTAL POSTS : 12387 WEDDING DATE: Nov 06, 2005
Posted: Oct 18, 2005 02:26 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Spinoff to Afternoon Wedding Attire

I would definitely not wear a gown to a wedding unless it was in an ultra 'posh' place. I attended a wedding at Windows on the World years ago and that's the only wedding I wore a gown to (unless I was in the BP)

It's a personal preference, but I am not really a fan of gowns. I like cocktail dresses much better.
Nadia Posted: Oct 18, 2005 02:38 PM+
Nadia MEMBER SINCE: 5/05 TOTAL POSTS : 2884 WEDDING DATE: Apr 23, 2006
Posted: Oct 18, 2005 02:38 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Spinoff to Afternoon Wedding Attire

You know what...
I think it doesn't matter when and what time the wedding is, you SHOULD DRESS APPROPRIATE for that. It doesn't have to be tuxedo but at least they have suit right??
IT IS A WEDDING NOT A BIRTHDAY PARTY OR SWEET 16TH PARTY....

I just feel if they don't wear appropriate..... they don't have manor at all.
2 years ago I went to afternoon wedding and some of them wore jeans.... can you imagine that ??? JEANS.. gosh ... those people don't understand what is appropriate!!!!!!!

Goldi1021 Posted: Oct 18, 2005 02:44 PM+
Goldi1021 MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 12766 WEDDING DATE: Feb 18, 2006
Posted: Oct 18, 2005 02:44 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Spinoff to Afternoon Wedding Attire

IMO the location of a wedding shouldnt decide what dictates formality, rather the couple or the invitation. If I were invited to a black tie wedding in the backyard of a family's home under a tent (which happens more than you think in LI) and the invite said 'black tie', I'd wear a gown. If that same invitation said 'casual attire', I would me more inclined to wear something else. I wouldnt judge the hosts nor would I begrudge their preference. It is not my place.

Many people asked me if they have to wear a tux or a gown when they found out my wedding was black tie. I said no. I just wanted to make sure that no men showed up in Timberland boots with their shirts hanging out of their pants. THIS DOES HAPPEN!!!! Perhaps the only people who may not be in a suit would be a child as they grow so fast, it is not worth the investment for a family to buy a suit. THAT isnt practical, but for a male adult it is.
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