Tipping

My hall told me to tip the Maitre'd around $500. Is this way over?

Besides, unless she has called and asked them if they would be insulted, she just doesn't know.

This site is hosted on multiple T-3 lines and a high end server. The traffic that this site receives is only a small percentage of what it can handle. Have you tried setting your preferences?

Tipping

My hall told me $400. I think Ive seen postings that said average of $2 a person, which would only be $250 for me, but then again $400 is about 5% of the total price. I am only paying 15% gratuity (I think 18% is norm), so I guess it seems about right. I would look at it based on th number of people you are having & the percentage of the total cost (before tax) to see if it seems fair.

Absolutely. Please don't take it the wrong way. I fully appreciate the existence of this site and the effort it takes to maintain it. Like you, I also do this for a living. I've seen plenty of sites that start out small and are suddenly overwhelmed. I can only theorize based on the symptoms, without knowing your exact infrastructure and config, but it seems unlikely that it would be on the client end since we have multiple people having the same problem with different browsers and connection methods. The fact that I was getting error messages accessing threads and was seeing the message "index rebuilt" at the top of the page when it was reloaded would lead me to believe the problem was in your discussion software database.

I was merely trying to keep people from believing that either they had a problem with their computers, or somebody was deleting postings. I'm sorry if you perceived it as casting any kind of dispursion on the site or its operators.

Tipping

That is absolutely absurd!!!!!!! No-one should tell you what to tip. Sounds like there is a big kick-back going on there.

If you're opting for bubbles, go with a model that has the wand that twists off (ie - the wed cake, the church, rose, etc...)

Tipping

I should correct myself, I wasnt told $400 is what I HAVE to pay, that was the amount they told when I asked for guidelines. The tip is to the hall so I dont think a kick-back is involved. Either way, you tip what you feel comfortable with.

If you're opting for bubbles, go with a model that has the wand that twists off (ie - the wed cake, the church, rose, etc...)

feed the photg?

Phyl, Hmmmm! For one thing, there are not many pictures to take while everyone is eating. And why do you think we are not entitled to a break working a 10 hour day? or eating? No one has ever accused us of not taking enough pictures, since we average around 1000/wedding. With two photographers, we rarely miss anything even when taking a break. But please believe me, when the band is taking a break, it is certainly appropriate for the other vendors to be taking a break since not much happens when the band isn't playing. If you do want continuous photography coverage, we do have package with unlimited proofs, which average around 1500 proofs. One thing that you should definitely be aware of is if you photographer averages 200-500 proofs, which is the typical out there, than they ARE NOT going to take anymore pictures than THEY think is appropriate! That means they have a limit on the numbers of proofs since the studio is paying for them. If they say unlimited, it can't be so since they have a budget to work with. We charge you for film + processing so that you have more control over the pictures that are taken and there is no limit except for YOUR budget. You need to be aware of this very important factor. Photographers DO NOT just snap away unless you are paying film + processing.

For whatever its worth to you - I've heard nothing but bad experiences from friends who have bought their dresses there. One friend spent over $5000 on a Diamond Collection Gown. Ordered it 5 months before her wedding. Called for weeks on end for a status update and got the run around - her dress arrived 2 WEEKS BEFORE HER WEDDING DATE.

They did alter it in time - but such a hassle! She had to travel 3 times from Stony Brook to their store within the last 2 weeks before the event.

Mark, I agree

I can't imagine anyone working close to a 12 hour day without being fed. And let's face it, its not like our staff can run out for McDonald's.

If you want to compare it to a regular work day....we typically are given a full lunch hour. That's for an 8 hour work day. They're working close to 12 hours - and if I didn't feed them, they'd leave to go get food. I'd rather have them there just in case dinner ISN"T a full hour...so they don't miss anything.

Besides, it is illegal for my employer to ask that I work 12 hours without a coffee break and a a full lunch hour.

Tip for vendors who eat

IT SOUNDS LIKE MARK THE PHOTOGRAPHER IS A BIT OUTSPOKEN!ISN'T HE! WHY COMPLAIN THAT YOU ARE OR ARE NOT BEING FED! HOW REDICULOUS!!!! AREN'T YOU LOOKING TO BE HIRED BY US? OR FED! WITHOUT SOUNDING CRUEL GLORY AND JAMELLE AND PHYL ARE CORRECT, WE ARE NOT SAYING DO NOT EAT FOR 8-10-12 HOURS...THAT SOUNDS MELLOWDRAMATIC.....COME ON. THEY ARE SAYING THAT OVER THE 4-5 HOUR TIME FOR RECEPTION DO NOT BREAK! THAT'S IT! THATS PRETTY SIMPLE...AND ALSO WHY SHOULD WE PICK UP THE TAB!!!!WE HIRED YOU! OTHERWISE PACK A SANDWHICH TO EAT IN THE CAR...BEFORE WE DO SIGN TO HIRE SOMEONE I KNOW I'VE BEEN OFFERERED DRINKS, COOKIES, CANDY, DONUTS, COFFEE, WELL NOW THAT WE HAVE DONE THE HIRING WE SHOULD FEED THE VENDORS? THIS IS THE TIME YOU MUST EARN THE FEE. CHECK OUT SPORTS WHERE ATHLETES PLAY UNDER STRENUOUS CIRCUMSTANCES FOR HOURS SOMETIMES 3-4 HOURS UNDER WINTER CONDITIONS OR UNDER EXTREME SUNSHINE...TAKE TENNIS....THE OPEN.....FOOTBALL...SOMETIMES 3-4 HOURS YES THERE IS A 15 MIN BREAK...BUT THATS TO WALK AWAY AND COME BACK AND GET YELLED OUT FOR 5 MINUTES....WHY TAKE A STAND ABOUT FOOD. NOT FAIR....THE FLORIST, LIMO DRIVERS DO NOT EAT! AAS I SAID PACK A LUNCH BUT BEYOND GETTING HIRED I DON'T THINK IT IS UNREASONABLE NOT TO EXPECT TO BE FED...WHICH I CONCUR WITH OTHERS GETS OUT OF HAND!!!!

However, I appreciate the info and will keep it in mind. Thanks.

Besides, it is illegal for my employer to ask that I work 12 hours without a coffee break and a a full lunch hour.

Tip for vendors who eat

I DEFINITELY AGREE WITH VICKI WHAT THE HECK IS HAPPENIN' AREN'T WE SPENDING ENOUGH MONEY. OUR GUEST ARE MORE IMPORTANT.

I am having my final meeting w/the banquet manager tomorrow evening. I will ask - if I get any answers, I'll be sure to let you know .

I do believe your proposal is very reasonable and I'm curious to know which other hall was "enlightened" enough to see it your way.

Tip for vendors who eat

I agree although unfortuntaly the way it is in our area, we are supposed to offer the catered food to the photographer etc... With the band and all I must have over 10 meals to pay for that are not for my family or friends. That is hundreds of dollars. I am just going to hope that my photog, etc... are understanding and apprciate their tips no matter what the average amount is supposed to be. someone i know said she gave the photographer $50 and their assistant $25. I dont know... But I am sure not giving a few hundred dollars!

I am having my final meeting w/the banquet manager tomorrow evening. I will ask - if I get any answers, I'll be sure to let you know .

I do believe your proposal is very reasonable and I'm curious to know which other hall was "enlightened" enough to see it your way.

Mark, I agree

Karen, Thank you! That's exactly right. I've been in this business for close to 20 years. I've done over 500 weddings. I'm simply informing everyone who's new to planning a wedding what is acceptable, what is objectionable, what is abusive, and what makes for a congenial flow of your day that you're planning for so much and spending so much money for.

I know what vendors talk about when you can't hear (and I hate to hear it myself). I love to hear when the vendors talk about what a lovely couple they are working for and what a beautiful wedding they've planned. I hate to hear them be annoyed that they aren't being treated well. I like to hear how considerate everyone has been. I hate to hear the resentment when they aren't. I'm simply giving advice and (I hesitate to use this word) tips about what is appropriate behavior from the inside.

Isn't that a good thing? Why doesn't everyone appreciate me being outspoken and giving advice about what they might not have been aware of?

Tip for vendors who eat

Vicki, Please see my response to Karen. I'm outspoken about issues that I think matter. I've actually brought sandwiches in the past (when I preferred my own food when I was a strict vegetarian) and I was told by the caterer that outside food was not allowed. What exactly is it that you expect us to do when we are indeed working so hard for so many hours without a break ? Yes, I always bring food in the car just in case. But do you really want us to go out to the car during the party? I've always insisted that I sit + eat as close to the party as possible and I always keep my antennae up so as not to miss anything. I hate it when the caterer sits us in a separate room where we could be missing something. Have you ever gone 10 hours without a break? without food? sometimes in 90 degree heat? when all you could think about was having something to eat so that you could function and do your job? Is this really an issue??? It never seems to be with my customers. I never have a problem with this issue because EVERYONE I work with understands what is appropriate, For those who don't, I'm simply offering some advice.

(By the way, the suggested gratuities are dependant on the kind of job that is being done and the amount of money being spent. I rarely have any problems with this issue either because people do seem to understand that the suggestions are only meant to maximize satisfaction for all parties involved.)

Isn't that a good thing? Why doesn't everyone appreciate me being outspoken and giving advice about what they might not have been aware of?

feed the photg?

I am amazed that this issue has generated so much negativity.Personally I am happy to provide a meal for those that are working so hard to make my day special. Even if it wasn't written into my photo contract(which it is)I would provide it. Better that than having someone pass out from hunger. Besides, as Mark says..most people don't want pictures taken of them eating. Why not a break and a meal so that your photographer, band,dj etc have a chance to refresh themselves and keep up their energy level.

(By the way, the suggested gratuities are dependant on the kind of job that is being done and the amount of money being spent. I rarely have any problems with this issue either because people do seem to understand that the suggestions are only meant to maximize satisfaction for all parties involved.)

Isn't that a good thing? Why doesn't everyone appreciate me being outspoken and giving advice about what they might not have been aware of?

Tip for vendors who eat

I think that we can't use the fact that we are paying these indiviudals for their services as an excuse not feed them. They are human beings, who like anyone else, get hungry after hours of working. In the long run, does it really hurt any of us in any way, to offer them something to eat. I personally beleive that it is the "decent" thing to do. It's like offering the movers a glass of lemonade or the repairman a glass of water. We want these vendors to go an extra mile and make our weddings the best ever, if we don't show a sign of good faith on our part by offering to feed them, how can we expect them to go the extra mile. It's just my opinion that it behooves us all to offer our vendors a meal.

Any last words of wisdom?

Isn't that a good thing? Why doesn't everyone appreciate me being outspoken and giving advice about what they might not have been aware of?

Tipping

Someone please entlighten me on this tipping thing. If I hire a band or dj, photographer/videographer I have to a) feed them and b) tip them on tip of what i am alredy paying them. Why not just include the gatuity in the price. If you quote me a price that is the price that i budget for. I am not thinking of tipping my dj that i already paid for. Is this common?

Any last words of wisdom?

Isn't that a good thing? Why doesn't everyone appreciate me being outspoken and giving advice about what they might not have been aware of?

Tip for vendors who eat

I DO NOT have a problem feeding the vendors . My problem is that i am having chair covers. Now I have to pay to cover chairs for my vendors, food, the service (dj, phot), etc) and a tip. That is adding up hundreds of dollars. I will have to eliminate some of people on my guest list if this keeps up.

Any last words of wisdom?

Isn't that a good thing? Why doesn't everyone appreciate me being outspoken and giving advice about what they might not have been aware of?

Tipping

Kate, I agree. Kimmi, Leave off the seat covers for the vendors + put them in a dark corner.

Good night everyone.

Isn't that a good thing? Why doesn't everyone appreciate me being outspoken and giving advice about what they might not have been aware of?

Tip for vendors who eat

WOW WHATS GOING ON HERE....THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOREDICULOUS......MARK KAUFMAN SEEMS TO BE A MARTYR HERE! DOES HE WANT WORK OR IS HE JUST THAT A COMPLAINER!!!!!! I WAS TOLD TO CONSIDER HIM FOR MY WEDDING BUT NOW I MUST ADMIT IS HE GOING TO JUDGE ME AS HE DID SAY HE WOULD.....IN HIS UPPER MESSAGE HE DID COMMENT THAT HE JUDGES A JOB BY HOW HE IS TREATED BY PEOPLE, WHAT ABOUT SELF PRIDE FOR DOING A GOOD JOB...OTHERWISE DO NOT TAKE IT!!!! THAT SOUNDS SOOOOOO UNPROFESSIONAL IN THAT UNLESS I'M FED I WILL NOT FEEL GOOD I WILL NOT FEEL AS THOUGH I'M TREATED PROPERLY....WELL WHAT ABOUT THE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS YOU ARE PAID TO MAKE YOU FEEL SOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!! THEN THE COMMENT, O.K. FORGET THE CHAIR COVERS AND SEAT ME IN THE DARK!!!!!THAT IS REDICULOUS!!!!!!!LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, THE MARTYR CAN BE FED AT MY HOUSE OR YOURS BEFORE THE CHURCH.....MY MOTHER IS HAVING IT CATERED AND SHE IS SPENDING 375.00 PLUS BAKERY ITEMS , CAKES, COOKIES, BREADS, CORDIALS, COFFEES, ETC.....AND MONEY IS NOT A PROBLEM.....I KNOW THE PHOTOGRAPHERS ALWAYS EAT THEN, EVEN THOUGH THEY SHOULD EAT AT HOME!!!!! SO WHAT, EAT AGAIN! AND YES PACK A LUNCH!!!!DID ANY OF US EVER EAT IN THE CAR....SOME HALLS TAKE 30-60 MINUTES TO GET TO....ENOUGH TIME TO EAT AGAIN....ENOUGH TIME FOR DESERT......NOW LET ME ALSO ADD THAT PROBABLY THE BRIDE/GROOM/PARENTS HAVEN'T EATEN BECAUSE THEY ARE SO WORRIED ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE....WELL WHAT ABOUT US!!!!!!WE AND PROBALY MOST OF OUR GUESTS WILL NOT EAT TIL THE COCKTAIL HOUR....GUESTS CANNOT CHEAT.....THEY ARE TOLD BY THE CATERERS THE COCKTAIL HOUR ISN'T OPEN YET.....DO THEY PACK A LUNCH....IS THE THE BATTLE OF WHO'S MORE HUNGRY.......SAD REALLY SAD.....I DISLIKE THE IDEA THAT SOME OF YOU HAVE BEEN SPOKEN DOWN TO BY THIS GUY WHO IS WORRIED ABOUT FOOD......THEN YES MONEY OR NO MONEY WHY IN H--LL DO WE HAVE TO PAY FOR THEIR FOOD WHEN ALL THEY HAVE TO DO IS GO RIGHT INTO THE KITCHEN TO EAT FOR FREE..............THAT'S RIGHT FOR FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!SO IF MARK KAUFMAN IS BEING UP FRONT TO US AND HE'S DONE 500 WEDDINGS AND NOT 5000 WEDDINGS HE SHOULD FIRST LEARN NOT TO CRY OVER FOOD!!!!!ALSO, THE COMMENT ABOUT FEEDING A MOVER OR SERVICE MAN SOME LEMINADE IS KIND...WHO WOULDN'T DO THAT.....BUT MARK DOESN'T WANT A GLASS OF LEMINADE HE WANTS FILET MIGNON THAT HE COULD GET IN ANY KITCHEN ANYWHERE IN NEW YORK CATERING HALLS FOR FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SO MONEY OR NO MONEY WE SHOULD NOT BE SUBJECTED TO PAYING FOR VENDORS TO EAT AS THE OTHER GIRL STATED OVER 4-5 HOURS......NOT 10-12 HOURS AS THE MARTYR STATED...WHY PAY OUT ANOTHER 10-12-14 MEALS AT 95-125 A HEAD....AND HE WANTS A TIP......SORRY HE DOESN'T WORK FOR HIS CONTRACT PRICE.....OH BY THE WAY DOES HE BRING HIS FAMILY?

By cheap I mean the ones that virtually explode and melt all over the place when they're burning. I've had that happen to me - and I still have red wax stains on my mantle from Christmas. : (

If you're looking for non-decorative inexpensive candles that burn well, try IKEA. You can buy 24 tapers for about $6. They have pillars as well....in different colors.

Tip for vendors-keeping an open mind.

Donna - I don't know Mark nor am I using him for my wedding. That being said....

I do think that you are misinterpreting his message. There are a few of us on this board, myself included, who happen to agree with the views he has expressed.

It is perfectly acceptable for you to disagree with him, me or anyone else on this board. But calling people names and being down right disrespectful is not very productive and is quite rude.

Tip for vendors-keeping an open mind.

karen i agree with donna. marks points are unworthy. he is the one spilling out his guts complaining. read all of the messages doesn't this guy work. i think this whole topic is a waste of time. but more so for a guy to want a tip or a meal. i for one used to work for a studio in great neck and we never stopped to eat. if we had moments here and there we grabbed food as anyone would. but over just a few hours who wants to eat anyway. i really didn't like eating while i was working. needless to say force the customer to pay for us was and is rediculous as the other girl said. now i am speaking from a vendors point of view. give us work not food. think of this who feeds the waiters and waitresses over the 5 hour affair? why is that different. we as vendors can eat when ever we want and for free just like a waiter. so mark you know how it really is. stop bumping up the purse. also i read at other messages that you are getting married in a week or two lots of good luck to you. if i was you get off this site haven't you had enough! put yourself on honeymoon time and start enjoying. good luck to you.

I do think that you are misinterpreting his message. There are a few of us on this board, myself included, who happen to agree with the views he has expressed.

It is perfectly acceptable for you to disagree with him, me or anyone else on this board. But calling people names and being down right disrespectful is not very productive and is quite rude.

What's with the cheapskates?

I've been lurking on this site for a few weeks and I've found it mostly helpful, and it's cool that so many brides are able to have access to all this information.