What's with the cheapskates?

I concur with you Rick!

I've been lurking on this site for a few weeks and I've found it mostly helpful, and it's cool that so many brides are able to have access to all this information.

Tip for vendors who eat

Whew! My goodness! Donna especially. Say what? (Thank you for not calling me!)

(and by the way, I rather enjoy taking a half hour of down time on my day off to chat and give advice from my experiences that might be helpfull. If you truly believe your accusations, I've got much better things to do with my valuable free time, which I don't get too much of since I work so hard. )

Have a nice day everyone. If anyone has any questions for me, please call or email me privately. I really don't have time for this if it is not taken in the light that it is given.

Thank you, Mark

I have and do appreciate your participation. I have benefited greatly from your wisdom over the past few months and am glad you have taken time out of your day to help.

: )

I also have been married before. I just wanted to tell you to absorb every second of your wedding day. It goes by so very fast. I am sure you will look beautiful and feel like a princess!

Tip for vendors-keeping an open mind.

Thanks for your good wishes. Much appreciated!

Like I said before - I think everyone is entitled to their opinion & they should feel free to express it. I just think there is a way to express a dissenting opinion without attacking a person and being offensive.

What's with the cheapskates?

Well said!

What's with the cheapskates?

Do you know how much of a tip the vendors and vendor's assistants should receive. I really have no idea if it should be $20 or $500. What would I tip if they did a phenomenal job, I could work from there.

I don't have any words of wisdom since I am still in the planning process myself, but I just wanted to tell you that I hope your day is wonderful, and I am sure it will be because you will be a beautiful bride and the day will be the happiest!!

Let us know the details when you return!!

Tip for vendors who eat

Vicki,

Your resonse to the photographers and DJ's eating sounds quite horrible. I for one have a fmaily of blue collar workers and love when people are nice to them and treat them as if they are people instead of servants.

My fiance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves and have saved every penny we could for 2 years. I am not saying to pay for things flippantly. We are in the process of paying everyone their final payments this week and it is a little stressful. However, all of this is not the vendors faults. How could you have anyone (working or not working) in front of you during your wedding and not offer them a meal.

What's with the cheapskates?

I agree vendors should be tipped; but, tipping hundreds of dollars seems steep to me after spending thousands of dollars for them in the first place.

Your resonse to the photographers and DJ's eating sounds quite horrible. I for one have a fmaily of blue collar workers and love when people are nice to them and treat them as if they are people instead of servants.

My fiance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves and have saved every penny we could for 2 years. I am not saying to pay for things flippantly. We are in the process of paying everyone their final payments this week and it is a little stressful. However, all of this is not the vendors faults. How could you have anyone (working or not working) in front of you during your wedding and not offer them a meal.

Thank you, Mark

After reading the entire thread, I have to agree with Karen and Mark. I think people are missing the point that there is a difference between a DJ that is working a 4 hour shift, and a photographer that is with the bride from the beginning of the day until the end. That could easily be 10-12 hours or more. If your photographer actually followed the advice given and left the room go get something to eat and then missed something that you would have really liked to get on film, would you be upset with him when you looked at your proofs? Probably. What's more important?

If you have any other questions please let me know.

Tip for vendors who eat

I can't believe some of the attitudes you ladies have! You have no problem spending hundreds of dollars on your hair, nails, tanning salon visits, etc. just for YOUR special day, yet you gripe over feeding 5 to 10 vendors? If you're willing to spend $95.00 to $100.00 per person on a hall, then the $1000.00 (+/-) you spend on feeding the people who will make your event is nothing in the overall scheme of things! How about cutting back on the trips to the salons and show a little compassion for your vendors? You are all living up to the Bridezilla image with your personal attacks. Have a Midol and calm yourselves down!

local store...great service and all employees also do alterations on premisis...$110 w/out shoes for the guys..and $85 for the pillowboy.

How does this compare to what you are seeing? Thanks in advance!

Tip for vendors who eat

Just one more thought, for what it's worth. Mark is probably not the only vendor checking the postings on this board. It would be a shame if one of our vendors saw some of the postings and figured that as long as we don't appreciate their work, that they won't bother going the extra mile for us. To them, it will just be another job to not look forward to. We all want that day to be perfect and, like it or not, your vendors play a very big part in that. Most halls will work with you on it and it is a small price to pay in the overall scheme of things.

How does this compare to what you are seeing? Thanks in advance!

Tip for vendors who eat

In this long line of responses I have to say I agree with you Sharon. I was scared to respond to this topic the discussion got a little heated. Yes we are paying good $$ for the vendor services. Could they bring their own food?? Sure but I dont think I would want my photographer running to his car and bringing in his cooler with his lunch. Most places only charge you 1/2 price for vendors and free if they are house vendors. I wouldnt want my photographer passing out from hunger because I refused to feed him. I have been to many weddings and the photographer/dj do not take a leisurely dinner like the rest of the guests. I always see them scoffing down the food so they dont miss anything.My opinion is I dont see what the big deal is. I think it is the kind thing to do. That is all I have to say.

How does this compare to what you are seeing? Thanks in advance!

Tip for vendors who eat

I also agree with Concetta and Sharon, and since I will probably be under attack anyway for agreeing with them. I must also tell you that I feel the same way about the church...Why is it ok to give the catering hall 15, 20 and sometimes $30,000. and tips to vendors anywhere from $50 - $250 sometimes more. But we nit-pick about how much the church should cost and how much tip you give the Pastor/Reverend and organist?! In the case of those of us that are having a religious ceremony isn't that what the whole day is about exchanging vows!?!? I too had to catch myself may times when I was becoming a bridezilla, I think that some of the people on this board should check themselves also!!

Jamelle

Tip for Church Folks

I'm not sure if that was referring to posts of mine....I'm jiggy w/tipping the organist & vocalist....I just don't know if it is customary. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a foreign country learning new customs w/this wedding.

My big thing with planning the wedding was leaving everyone with the warm & fuzzies. Just looking for guidelines

Zellers was actually 150. Not nearly as good (in our opinion)

Vendors reading posts

Good point, Tim.

My big thing with planning the wedding was leaving everyone with the warm & fuzzies. Just looking for guidelines

Zellers was actually 150. Not nearly as good (in our opinion)

Tips should be what you can give.

I feel all the vendors do deserve to be fed and tipped. There has just been so much talk on here about vendors/halls telling brides what they SHOULD give. I think it should be what you CAN give. Weddings are not easy these days and it all adds up. If you walk into a hall and book a 40th birthday party, it's 40.00 a head, maybe less, as soon as you go in and say Wedding, the price goes up 50 bucks more. It gets crazy sometimes. I do feel that all vendors work hard, but I work really hard everyday of the week, no-one tips me. I also do side jobs, calligraphy, etc., I don't get tips for that and if people do great, if not, I still was paid for my service. Just my opinion.

Zellers was actually 150. Not nearly as good (in our opinion)

Jackie - I Disagree

I don't disagree that you should be kind and offer food or a drink, but if someone has a hall that they are paying 150.00 per head, that is not a little thing anymore when you have 4 vendors, 5 band members, etc. That becomes thousands. Some can afford that, others simply cannot.

Zellers was actually 150. Not nearly as good (in our opinion)

Tip for Church Folks

Karen, I was not referring to any specific post. there was a block of posts about a week ago discussing it and then some more in previous months!! I would never make a personal attack on anyone on this board. We are all just discussing our ideas and opinions here! With that said allow me to clarify myself I am more so referring to the fee's that are paid to the church! a tip is based on merit and performance!! and I did not tip the organist at my church. she was paid but did not receive a tip from me. She was totally uncooperative and unaccommodating!! But I did tip everyone else at the Church they were all great, I paid the fee that was asked of me and made an additional donation. I could not in good Christian conscious give the hall so much money and not help my church who has helped me in numerous ways with the planning of my wedding and the spiritual guidance growing up..The Church is where the wedding is, the hall is just the reception!! again this is just my opinion

Jamelle

Sharon - A Little Unfair

Sharon: If a bride has her day coming and she wants to go to the nail salon, that's her money and it's her choice. She SHOULD IN NO WAY, skimp on herself to feed or tip a vendor. I'm sorry, I totally disagree with that. Especially, since she and her fiance saved every penny to make that wedding happen!!

Jamelle

Sharon - A Little Unfair

My issue isn't with brides pampering themselves, my issue is with the brides on this board ripping apart people who have an opinion different than their own. The basis of this conversation was about the expectation of a meal from vendors. My point being that if you have the money to spend on pampering yourself, then what is the problem of coming up with another $500 to $1000 to feed your vendors? Most catering halls offer a reduced rate for vendors, so the cost could be much less than I estimated. I know for myself I would not want a vendor bringing his Igloo cooler into my affair and picnicing in the corner because I had "issues" with paying his way for a meal!. You want a picnic, go to Eisenhower Park! He deserves the consideration of every human being. A chance to eat a warm meal and to go to the bathroom.

Hi Jamelle. What about a church group?? or volunteering somewhere locally?? Think about something you like to do and see if there is something related to that that you could volunteer doing etc. Good Luck!!

Jamelle