Re: Two weddings/one family/one summer?

I think they should ask his sister if it's okay with her. I can see why it would be a problem. What if they have family travelling from out of town? It's a bit of a pain for family who has to travel to go to two weddings in two months.

I had a problem like this a few weeks ago. My fiance's cousin who is also my friend wanted to know if it'd be a problem if she got married two weeks before ours meanwhile we had started booking our things immediately after getting engaged, and she had been engaged for a few years. I was fine with it, and he wasn't, and after some drama, she's not doing it anymore, and it's been forgotten for now.

Re: Two weddings/one family/one summer?

We went through the same thing. My brother and his wife got engaged in April 2003. My DH and I knew that we were getting engaged but DH took his sweet little time (didn't happen until June 2002) ANyway, my brother and his wife live in California but were getting married in New Hampshire. They asked me if it was OK for them to marry in June and I was a little dissapointed but at that point we still weren't engaged so what could I say. There was no way I wanted to wait a year to marry (I was getting older) and we originally looked for October (which is only 4 months apart) October booked quickly and Sept was out b/c DHs friend was getting married. We ended up booking Aug 29 (just 2 months after my brother). AT first I felt bad about it but then everyone I talked to said it's your wedding, have it when you want. It's not about convenience for everyone. We couldn't have been happier about our decision. It turns out we got married on our 4 year anniversary and it was such a beautiful loving day with no complaints from anyone.

The downside was that a few of my cousins didn't make it to our wedding. They all had to travel for both of our weddings and for some it was easier to come to ours and for some it was easier to go to my brothers. They worked out whatever was best for them and we were all happy.

They must do what is best for them. I completely understand that they don't want to wait another year and they shouldn't have to. People will understand and will be happy for them.

Re: Two weddings/one family/one summer?

I am in a very similar situation...my FI older brother got engaged 3 Days...yes I said DAYS after I did. My FI planned for 3 months...he just woke up and thought today would be a good day. He is getting married 6 weeks after me. It was a serious problem for me in the beginning. I cried when I found out...I had only been engaged three days when they got engaged..so I felt like the pulled the carpet out from under us. Now it is not such a big deal...but I do feel I will never forget how he made me feel. We have been very careful to keep everything seperate and very different. It hasn't been too bad. Good Luck to your friend.

Re: Two weddings/one family/one summer?

I know I have responded to this post already but after reading the mixed emotions I just wanted to give a reason why I feel so strongly about this type of situation.
The only reason that this is such an open wound for myself and FH, my FSIL and FBIL were not engaged at all when they annouced that they picked a date and booked a hall the same weekend of my SURPRISE engagement. And with my FSIL it has been notihng but competition, she has to be the center of attention all the time and my FH and i feel slighted by his family members.

Re: Two weddings/one family/one summer?

I don't understand why it would offend family...but I've never been in the situation, so who knows.

I know in FHs family, they had 3 weddings over the course of 12 months - in a family of 7 siblings...#5 got married, then #4, then #1 - no one was put off, they all had the wedding they wanted - everyone was overjoyed that everyone else was happy and marrying their love.

Re: Two weddings/one family/one summer?

That really stinks... and I see why you feel so strongly about it! But don't let them bring you down--I'm trying (with my own plans) to keep my chin up and not get stressed and try to enjoy this, because it's the only time I'll ever do it. I keep trying to tell myself, well, its MY day with MY FH, OUR day, not anyone else's, and let them complain about whatever they want whenever they want, because it's my way!

I think my friend is going to call up the FSIL and tell her, not ask her, that they picked July and why. They are very different people and will have different weddings... but I still think the sister might freak out a little.

Doesn't it stink that so many problems stem from something that is so amazingly wonderful?

Re: Two weddings/one family/one summer?

I got enggaed in February, set the date in April...My first cousin got engaged in may, set the date in June for next June...4 months before me! I could not be happier....its fun talking weddng talk with her...and I am just soo excited for her that if she had it the week before mine, I would be just as happy for her! But, this is a little different than siblings...

Re: Two weddings/one family/one summer?

YOu are right, maybe my friend and her FSIL can plan together!! That would be the ideal situation... comparing vendors, dress shopping... I really hope that happens!!!

Re: Two weddings/one family/one summer?

I think that it really shouldn't matter. I totally agree with papabear in that if it's not the sae day , go for it. Sometimes things just work out this way.