Re: very touchy subject and kind of long

---

Posted by Blu-ize

My brother-in-law didn't give us anything either...card...nothing...it's 7 years! Maybe she gave you a card, but it got lost?

---

That was my reason for thinking I should say something.
She gave me an engagement party gift and a shower gift so to not even give a card for the wedding really upset me but I'm also worried that maybe she did and it got lost.
There are others who did not give cards/gifts and I really don't care but because she's my sister it's eating away at me.

Ugh, thanks to all of you for your honest. Some of you have said things that really helped me. I guess next time we get drunk I can always sat something right....

Re: very touchy subject and kind of long

Re: very touchy subject and kind of long

If its bothering you so much, maybe you can really plead with parents to mention it. Otherwise, I would just ask her about it next time she brings up ya'll being 'rich'. Maybe you can say something like, Oh we were going through our cards to right the thank you notes, we didn't see yours and I wanted to double-check with you to make sure we didn't loose it or something???

Re: very touchy subject and kind of long

Regardless of the money factor I think she should have at least given you a card. And as hard as it may be, I would at least bring that up. Like maybe tell her you are thinking of making a scrapbook with the cards from everyone, and its too bad you dont have one from her. And I think its okay that you may need a shot or 2 first. Good luck!

Re: very touchy subject and kind of long

My one sister did that to my other sister that just got married this past august...my sister mary is notorious for having money problems and all of my sisters were shocked that she didnt give a gift, or give a card (she didnt even give my mom her share of the bridal showers money she owed). However, the only opinion that mattered was of my sister that got married, and she was a bit upset but understood...my sister mary bought a dress and shoes she will never wear again, got her hair, makeup, and nails done, and stood up with my sister on her wedding day...that is all my sister expected. About a month ago my sister paid back my mom for the bridal shower and gave my sister a rather generous gift..in the end it worked out better for both my sisters. I honestly think you should talk it over with your sister..if not, then drop it...its not the end of the world...the fact that she stood up with you on your wedding day to support your marriage should be gift enough.

Re: very touchy subject and kind of long

At least a card - even if it was printe out of the computer! Something to show that she cares.

Re: very touchy subject and kind of long

Personally, I never heard of the 1 year grace period for a gift and I would never think of going to a wedding, especially my sister's without a gift!

Could it be that maybe she did bring a gift and it was misplaced? I have heard of this happening at weddings.

Maybe you can ask your mom if she knows about you sister giving you a gift or not. If that doesn't work or is not an option, I would try just asking my sister so that it doesn't weigh on your mind forever.

Good luck!

Re: very touchy subject and kind of long

maybe you should just say to her 'who cares how much money i made, i didn't even get a card from my sister.' that way you get your point across and if the card got lost you'll find out..say it jokingly with a smile on your face..jmo

Re: very touchy subject and kind of long

A card is a written record of your day, and the words of best wishes in it are totally priceless

I would certainly say something like HBRadio suggested with the scrapbook...if you feel like you're having problems addressing the issue.

Re: very touchy subject and kind of long

Did she help out with anything pertaining to your wedding. For instance my sister paid for my wedding dress that was her gift for me and honestly I am not expecting anything else from her. I appreciated that so much

Re: very touchy subject and kind of long

my in laws came to our wedding empty handed as well. Not even a 99 cent card or a printed one from the computer.

It bothered me at first because there were 6 people on their invitation and they walked in like it was nothing.

I'd be upset also, but some people just dont think they should bring things to weddings. not even cards with nice words in it.

Re: very touchy subject and kind of long

---

Posted by as1inmay

Did she help out with anything pertaining to your wedding. For instance my sister paid for my wedding dress that was her gift for me and honestly I am not expecting anything else from her. I appreciated that so much

---

No as a matter of fact my mother paid for her dress, and alterations. She did go get herself a $500 hair cut a week before the wedding though!

But I can't impress upon all of you enough that it's not about the money. It's about the lack of acknowledgement of my wedding when I went out of my way to make her as comfortable as possible. We allowed her to invited two friends (a couple) to the wedding and even to ride in the limo with us!

Re: very touchy subject and kind of long

---

Posted by fall2005bride

my in laws came to our wedding empty handed as well. Not even a 99 cent card or a printed one from the computer.

It bothered me at first because there were 6 people on their invitation and they walked in like it was nothing.

I'd be upset also, but some people just dont think they should bring things to weddings. not even cards with nice words in it.

---

That's terrible!! Did they not contribute to the wedding at all! I think that's even worse than my duddy sister!!

Re: very touchy subject and kind of long

How close are you two?
Just based on my own experience, I am SO close to my sister that I would be able to say something about the subject in either a joking manner or seriously.

Maybe you could use a fake scenario like 'Oh guess what someone did...?' And see her reaction.

Re: very touchy subject and kind of long

---

Posted by diamondgrlie

How close are you two?
Just based on my own experience, I am SO close to my sister that I would be able to say something about the subject in either a joking manner or seriously.

Maybe you could use a fake scenario like 'Oh guess what someone did...?' And see her reaction.

---

I come from and Irish family and we (it was in my sociology textbook!!) are notorious for not talking about things, especially bad things. I know it's bad, but it's how I was brought up. The reason I posted this was to get the courage to say something and not let is fester like things often do. BUT some of the reactions I'm getting are making me second guess myself!

....

Re: very touchy subject and kind of long

---

Posted by rosaria

I know my family...and they would NEVER show up to a wedding without a gift...same goes for FH's family...

I guess I am still in shock over the fact that people show up at wedding gift-less...

---

If I couldn't afford a gift I wouldn't go! But the sister?!

Re: very touchy subject and kind of long

Maybe they went in on a gift with your parents?

Re: very touchy subject and kind of long

---

Posted by dita531

Maybe they went in on a gift with your parents?

---

Nope, my mother is shocked and really upset by the whole thing.

Re: very touchy subject and kind of long

That's terrible!! Did they not contribute to the wedding at all! I think that's even worse than my duddy sister


Nope... they didn't contribute a penny towards anything. My dad invited co-workers of his that me and DH have never even met before and they were very generous with their gifts.
They were guests like everyone else.... they didn't play or act in a special way at all