FOCUS test questions for us non Catholic girls..

can someone post the questions from the FOCUS test done in Pre Cana. I'm an episcopalian and we don't have the same tradition as the catholic church - pre marriage counseling is a part of it but no list of questions per se. I'd love to sit with my FH and go over the FOCUS questions on our own. Will someone share?!??

Re: FOCUS test questions for us non Catholic girls..

I have them some where.

They asked something like.
Would you feel uncomfortable naked in front of your future husband?

I will try and and find them. Nothing extremely religious though. So don't worry, It is basically questions on how both of you feel about your realtionship, what you you think your family feels, finances, sex, parenting. Things like that

Re: FOCUS test questions for us non Catholic girls..

They are really strange in my opinion but nothing to freak out about. We had a great time. Some are difficult to understand. They'll ask you if you agree wo continue your involvment with the church (we said YES - neithre of us are involved and we agree to continue that)

You are asked if you agree to raise your kids Catholic (we did not)

You are asked if you understand the church's position on living together before marriage

Also asked several times if pregnancy is a part of your lives at this time.

don't worry. we brought it home and did it.

Re: FOCUS test questions for us non Catholic girls..

I was asked to promise we wouldn't share the test with anyone. But the questions weren't too terrible. However, read them carefully, because you may think they are asking one thing, but they are really asking the opposite. Not sure why they do this, but it tripped up DH a couple of times. He answered the question he thought it was asking, not what it was really asking. I bet they do that so they can have a discussion on the question. At any rate, we answered honestly. DH is Catholic, I am not. I didn't pretend to be anything I am not for FOCCUS or Pre Cana. The only thing I did that I am not proud of was during the ceremony itself. They asked each of us directly if we planned to bring our kids up Catholic. I certainly do NOT, but I lied and said yes.

Re: FOCUS test questions for us non Catholic girls..

the question I remember most was 'I think infedelity is something I could never get over, I would not be able to stay married if my partner was unfaithful' true or false. It definitley raised some good issues up for discussion, which I think is really the point. We talked about it for hours afterward. I was P O'd at mychurch bc they had us take the test and then never went over it with us, it was weird. Also, if you live together, there are like an extra 20 questions!

Re: FOCUS test questions for us non Catholic girls..

I am having a very hard time with this whole focus thing. I have already told FH that if they ask me something that I feel is none of their business I am going to tell them. And I dont understand the whole secrecy about this test. I am Catholic, I have issues with the Catholic religion. Sorry have to vent. I dont discuss my sex life or my finances (sp), etc with anyone (other than FH) let alone strangers. I dont feel that its any of their bees wax. This really makes my blood boil.

Re: FOCUS test questions for us non Catholic girls..

i was anticipating being angry at the test too, but they didn't ask about our sex life. they didn't ask if we had ever been intimate, they asked a lot of what if questions.
a week after we took the test, we went back to discuss it with the deacon and his wife. we discussed only those questions where DH and I were not in agreement on. For example, let's say the question was about whether or not i feel my parents are comfortable with my FH's religion. if i said no to this, and he said yes to this, then it prompted a discussion. but no one would ask what our religions are, just why we feel differently about the situation. am i making sense?

trust me, i do not like ANYONE interfering in my business, but this wasn't like that at all. i was baptized catholic, so the chuch considers me catholic. i in no way want anyone to think i am, and i do not think i am. i resent a lot of the church teachings as well. but they never once made me feel angry with them, and trust me, i look for it.

Re: FOCUS test questions for us non Catholic girls..

Thanks Smooch, its makes me feel better to know that I am not the only one that feels this way towards the catholic church. I had this religion pushed down my throat for years.

Re: FOCUS test questions for us non Catholic girls..

I did not have to take the Focus test and I am Catholic

Re: FOCUS test questions for us non Catholic girls..

To add my 2 cents, I was beat down with catholism my whole life also. DH is also Catholic and his family is much more into it that I am to the point it drives me nuts. My family goes to church etc, but if one sunday it doens't happen, no big deal. DH fmaily on the other hand plans their lives around what mass to go to. To each his own. I have HUGE issues with the Catholic church to the point I dispise going to church and listening to the crap they preach. I do it for my husband. We will raise our kids Catholic just because. On the FOCUS test they just ask a lot of random 'what if' questions. To make your lives easier, just tell them what they want to hear and discuss the qustions with your FI. I know some may not agree with me suggesting this, but it really will save you heartache in the end. So, answer yes to raising your kids catholic and all that other jazz. We agreed on everything except our 'beliefs' so that was the major topic of conversation with the deacon. So at our meeting I just 'yes'ed them to death and said it was just that I interpret it loosely and DH interprets things literally.!

Re: FOCUS test questions for us non Catholic girls..

Irishbride, I understand how you feel. I never had religion shoved down my throat but in DH's family, it's expected that you are Catholic and go to church. 2 of DH's SILs converted to Catholicism and I think FMIL and FFIL thought I would succumb and do the same. I dont' think so. I don't expect them to change their beliefs to match mine, so they should not expect me to change to match theirs.

And in no way will I tolerate their pushing religion on my kids, when we have any. Our kids will have their own choices.

Essentially I am just the kind of person who will not be forced into anything, and I didn't let getting married in a Catholic church make me compromise my beliefs, except that one little question I answered during the ceremony. Stay strong, believe what you believe and don't apologize for it.