Our 3/6/04 Carlyle on the Green Wedding Review!

Well, we’re back! I posted the honeymoon review a few days ago, but it took me a bit longer to reconstruct the wedding. After the ceremony, it went by awfully quickly. We had fairly large wedding (about 250 people), and I don’t think I could have gotten through the process without all the help from everyone on the boards! I’ve put in as much detail as possible below, and have tried hard to avoid ‘grade inflation.’ If you have questions, please feel free to page me on the NYC board (if you’re reading this on theknot), FM me (if you’re reading this on liweddings), or just email me at [email protected].
[Stuff in brackets are Hubby Notes.]

Attire:

Dress (and alterations) - Kenneth Pool by Amsale from Saks Fifth Avenue A
It took me a long time to find a dress. I had a much better sense of what I didn’t want than of what I wanted. I didn’t want a ball gown or anything too elaborate. Eventually, I figured out that dropped-waist A-lines looked best on me, but then the difficulty was that I needed something that would work with my grandmother’s antique wedding necklace (which is gold), but every dress I liked had silver or pearl beading. I was getting close to giving up, then I went to Saks. They were terrific there – the saleswoman who helped me, Vera – figured out what worked pretty quickly. When she pulled out the Kenneth Pool she told me to close my eyes and wouldn’t let me look until it was all zipped up – it was the clear winner. I would say that the only downside to Saks was that the alterations are really expensive, but the service is great. Also, if you open a Saks charge account you get 10% off.

Veil from Vassa from For the Love of Weddings A
I loved my veil. I’m not really a ‘veil person,’ but I kept it on all night. I wanted a mantilla-style veil, and Vassa did a fabulous job. Turns out that she works in the fashion industry and knew the designer of my dress (as well as my dress!) personally. She did a wonderful job finding beautiful lace and scattering beads all around it – I received many many compliments on the veil! We did have some difficulties scheduling appointments, and I wonder if I could have bargained for a better price, but it was definitely the right decision – Vassa does beautiful work!


Shoes from Peter Fox Shoes A+
The only thing harder than finding a dress (and a band) was finding shoes. I was adamantly opposed to pointy-toed shoes, and equally adamant about needing comfortable shoes - it took me forever to find my adorable Peter Foxes. As the seamstress at Saks put it: ‘those are dancing shoes!’ The best part: they’ll re-dye them black for free! (I went to a wedding 2 weeks before mine and was wishing they were black already!)


Bridesmaids' dresses from Serafina A for dresses, B- for service
I had my sister (MOH) select the dresses that she and my sister-in-law (we had a small bridal party!) would wear. The dresses themselves were stunning, and my SIL already has plans to wear hers again, which is terrific. But the service at Serafina leaves a lot to be desired. The staff turnover was incredibly high, so my sister ended up dealing with someone new each time she called. We were supposed to have the dresses by mid-January, and they didn’t show up until 4 weeks before the wedding – very nervous-making! I don’t think I would use them again.


Mom's Dress by Couture by Jose A
Jose has a store in Long Beach, and is definitely a trip! He did a beautiful job with my mom’s dress. I think she ultimately thought it was a bit matronly, but I’ve never seen her look better. A bit expensive.

Stationery:

Invitations by Lizard Designs A+
Liz does beautiful work, and was a pleasure to work with – if she did more than wedding invitations, we’d use her again in a heartbeat. We received tons of compliments on the invitations – from the usual quarters (mom’s friends, friends who were recently married), but then also from people who you would think would never notice (our priest, my dissertation advisor!). Even our calligrapher, Lori, asked for a copy to keep! We almost didn’t get to order from Liz, as they were in the middle of a move, but I think they’re back on line and certainly highly recommended!

Map by Snappymap A
So cute! The map that accompanied our invitations was pretty detailed, and they did a great job. We would definitely use them again should the occasion arise. Check out their site!

Nameplate Calligraphy by Calligraphy by Lori A
Lizard Designs’ invitations come with business card-sized cards in lieu of inner envelopes. Because they include envelope addressing in their service, we only needed a calligrapher for the nameplates. I shopped around for someone – I wanted it done in gold ink to match the red and gold colors of our wedding. Lori was a great choice – she did a beautiful job, although there were some (very) slight delays at the end – and very well-priced!

Wedding Website by The Wedding Tracker A
We looked around for websites, and this was the best option in terms of a balance between what they offered and minimizing the work we had to do. They are a relatively new service, and keep making improvements. Also, it’s more than a website – it includes a bunch of online software that was very helpful, including keeping track of your guest list and RSVPs, gifts received, thank you notes sent, etc. You can use it for wedding, showers, bach. parties, etc. [Don’t forget, the price also includes a personalized domain name.] We wish we had explored the site at the very beginning because we didn’t really capitalize on all of this until fairly late in the process. If you are looking for a wedding website and end up using them, it would be great if you could contact me – if we refer others, we’ll receive some freebies that we’d love to get!

Menus, Program Covers, bookmark favors, and quotations by Debi from The Blooming Quill A+
When Debi sent me a sample, I almost swooned. Her work is absolutely stunning. I would have loved to have used her for the nameplates, but she is pricey. It turns out, however, that it’s fairly cost-efficient to use her for items that can be duplicated – like menus, program covers, etc., and she did a beautiful job for us. She also made us bookmarks (one of our favors) that were a big hit!

Confoti A
The confoti was a huge hit! Confoti is a web service where you can upload photos of yourself (or anything else) and have them printed on confetti. My husband was in charge of this project, and while he chose a few pictures that made me cringe, people loved it so much that they were trying to collect a complete set, and many are already planning on using it for their own future events. [Although they recommend a pretty high ratio of bags/tables, we only ordered 9 bags for 24 tables, and that seemed fine.]

Placecards by Sonicstef A/A+
We loved loved loved our placecards. We named our tables after our favorite books, and had Stefanie design placecards that looked like little book jackets, with a number of different fonts and designs for different book genres. [Then, instead of having signs with the name of the table, we used actual hardcover books.] She is an extremely talented graphic designer, and I fully expect her to have a very successful full-time business in a few years’ time. There were some errors in a few of the original cards she sent, and because she was away (obviously not her fault) just after she sent them, getting the corrected versions was a bit tight. Also, the paper that the corrected cards were printed on was not as thick as the other cards – I think she was experiencing problems with the printing company that she uses. I don’t think I would have noticed too much but for the fact that our table was one of the tables that needed correcting. These problems, however, were extremely small when compared to Stefanie’s wonderful work. Not only would we use her again, but we fully intend to do so for our future personalized stationery needs!

Wedding Platter (in lieu of guest book) by The Painted Pot tentative A
Turns out that Sonicstef is more than a great graphic designer – she’s also a great wedding resource! I was looking all over for someone to personalize a wedding platter for us. I didn’t like the ‘cartoon’ wedding platters that are pretty widely available, and had a photo that I wanted duplicated. The Painted Pot (recommended by Sonicstef) came through, although there was some confusion about when the right artist would be available. The painting was a little off in that the artist for some strange reason painted the top of the spire of the church we had in our design onto the curved part of the plate when there was plenty of room in the flat part, but it’s not a huge deal. I think it took people a while to figure out that they were meant to sign the plate, but it was looking pretty full by the end of the night! The reason I’m giving a tentative grade is that we haven’t yet schlepped it (and it’s a schlep from Manhattan) back to Brooklyn to be fired and glazed.

Accommodations and Rehearsal Dinner:

Melville Marriott A
Not much to say here – they were easy to work with and everyone seemed happy with the accommodations. My in-laws had a hard time finding a place for a RD because we had such a big wedding with many many out of town guests, but the Marriott was just fine. [The Marriott was very responsive to my fairly particular father, and he was happy with the way the RD came off.] We came home from our honeymoon to a very nice message from the Marriott thanking us for using them.

Hampton Inn Commack A (as far as I know)
Haven’t heard anything bad, great location for us, and super-easy to deal with in terms of blocking rooms!

Garden City Hotel (wedding night hotel) A
We did not pay for the wedding package, which was just fine. We got there late, ordered room service for breakfast (very nice!), and left early. Exactly what we wanted.

Getting ready:

Hair by Linda Paledino A+
Linda was a real gem. I had booked someone else for hair months before, but when I called her a few weeks before the wedding to finalize times and location, her phone was disconnected and she was nowhere to be found. Knottie ACE2445 quickly responded to my pleas for help and recommended Linda. Linda is a real sweetie – I think she was more nervous about my hair than I was! She even came early to ease any fears about not having met (there was no time for a trial), which was just lovely. She’s very sweet and a real calming presence.

Makeup by Clarin Cohen A/A+
I had 3 makeup trials before I booked Clarin. She works for Bobbi Brown at the Walt Whitman Bloomingdale’s. She did a great job – another calming, easygoing presence – exactly what you want on your wedding day! Our wedding coordinator had a bit of trouble getting in touch with her in the weeks before the wedding, and I think she may have taken a bit longer to do the makeup than we expected, but I’d much prefer that she did it right! I never wear makeup, and my husband is actually pretty opposed to makeup, but even he said she did a great job!

Goin’ to the chapel (and lots of other places, too!):

Limos by Ultimate Class Limousine A/A+
On time, clean, professional – our driver (Jackie? Tina?) was terrific – extremely helpful and practical. We used them for an end of night pickup and drive to the airport the next morning as well and everyone was great. My husband’s previous experience with limos was that they were uniformly late, but I think he’s now a convert, at least to Ultimate Class. [I had very low expectations for the limos. I was very happy to be proven wrong. Ulitmate Class really was great.] Our only (very small) objection was the “Here Comes the Bride” horn – not something we were expecting (or would have wanted)! But definitely good for a laugh!

The Ceremony:

Saint Matthew in Dix Hills
They were extremely accommodating, especially because it’s not my church (my husband is Catholic, but I’m not) and we had a friend of my father’s (also a friend of the pastor’s) perform the ceremony who is from another church in Long Island. There were a few surprises during the rehearsal and ceremony – feel free to contact me if you’d like details.

String Trio by The Capriccio Ensemble A/A+
They sounded great! Natalie was very helpful and easy to work with, except for one small hiccup when we first met. I would definitely use them again.

Photos:

Jonathan Hubschman Photography no grade yet
Jonathan was one of our favorite vendors – he’s the kind of person we’d be likely to invite over for dinner. Warm, funny, smart, and a true photojournalist (he was shooting prisons in Central America in the months before our wedding), which was what we were looking for. He and assistant Dorothee were great to work with on the wedding day, but I’ll give a final report once we get proofs.

Video by Chris Leary from Wedding-Cinema no grade yet
Another favorite – Chris’ style is very laid-back, again exactly what we wanted – no interviews or photos, just a documentary of the day. He and his assistant Jason were so unobtrusive that people complimenting on the wedding were telling us that we should have gotten a videographer!

Old Westbury Gardens A-/B+
We needed a place where we could take photos indoors, but still have light, and OWG was the clear winner. The place is beautiful – I’ll have to take my husband back in summer to really see it in bloom. The staff was very professional, although sometimes a bit slow in getting back to me (although, to be fair, it is their off season). They are very strict about where you can take pictures, but then they were doing construction in one of the rooms we had booked, which was a little disappointing! It is quite expensive, and I felt that they were stricter than they needed to be in terms of keeping us to our time, but I would have definitely made the same choice if I had to do it over again

Dancin’ the Night Away!

Cocktail hour pianist and 11-piece band from Paul Rich Music A/A+
The band was one of the few aspects of the wedding I was nervous about beforehand. It took us a long time to find a band we liked, and it had just been so long since we’d heard them live that I was second-guessing myself – but I absolutely didn’t need to – they were fabulous! I think we’ve received more compliments on the band than on any other aspect of the wedding! Paul is great to work with, and absolutely came through with the understated emceeing style and volume control that we insisted upon – both of which our guests really appreciated. He was very attentive to details, performing the specific version of “The Prayer” that my husband preferred for the mother-son dance, and changing a few lyrics that my dad was uncomfortable with for our dance. Except for one song, I remember the dance floor being full all night long! We hired a Latin singer and drummer (hence the 11 pieces) because my Mom is Puerto Rican; I expected that very few people would dance to the Latin Music, but everyone was up there! Who knew?! Some of our favorite memories from the reception are song-related – the band learned “Banana Split for My Baby” [Louis Prima!] for our cake-cutting, which we loved, and kept on cutting the cake even though I think the maitre’d may have wanted us to move on, and our last dance, “Buona Sera,” was a ton of fun! I very highly recommend Paul and his band – we’d hire them again in a second if the occasion arose.

Dance lessons by Wedding Dance by Kerensa A+
Taking lessons with Kerensa was such a pleasure that we may take some more! She’s got a great teaching style – very matter-of-fact without making you feel silly. She had us practice in front of other couples, which was great, and choreographed a lovely first dance for us (I still do it at my chair sometimes when I hear the song!). Everyone was very very impressed – the dip in particular was a big hit. We highly recommend Kerensa to anyone taking lessons in Manhattan.

Flowers:

Flower Michele A
We all know how great John (whom my husband refers to as ‘flower guy’ [True]) is! Very easy to work with, although so busy that it was sometimes a bit difficult to get in touch with him. The bouquets and centerpieces were stunning – and John had a lot of work to do there because there were six different centerpiece options that we were working with (i.e., a different ‘type’ for most tables). I wasn’t as thrilled with the large flower arrangement at the entrance hall to the Carlyle (note to Carlyle brides: you might actually want to skip this arrangement – I don’t think it’s necessary), or with some of the boutinniers/corsages, and wished I had had a better sense of how they would turn out because I might have made different decisions (e.g., mini mango callas would have been better than regular callas for bouts., and the moms’ corsages looked quite large to us). Nonetheless, I would have made the same florist choice all over again. Also, now that Flower Michele has closed their retail store and is only doing weddings, I’m certain that it will only get better!

Chocolate:

Truffles from Hauser Chocolates (favors) A
[I’ve given my wife(!) truffles from Hauser on many occasions, so this was a natural choice for us. I dealt with Nancy in customer service who was a treat to deal with. She sent us sample boxes and ribbons and worked with us to match our wedding colors (red and gold). The truffles came on the scheduled delivery day, and were very yummy.]


Cake topper from Martine’s Chocolates A-
Can you tell I’m a chocoholic yet? This was a really cute – and inexpensive – caketopper option (around $12). They come in white, milk, and dark chocolate, and unlike a lot of porcelain cake toppers, are actually light enough to sit atop the cake without making it sink. They sell them in Bloomingdales in Manhattan and Martine’s has another store on the Upper East Side. I had to do a fair amount of running around to find what I needed, and we never did get a chance to taste it, but it looked great (and their other chocolates are yummy, so I’m sure it’s delicious!).

Day-of Coordinator:

Elaine DeLuca from Exquisite Events A+
Saving the best for last...Elaine was a godsend, hands-down the best decision I almost didn’t make. She was incredibly helpful before the wedding, going over details with us that we had never even considered! Elaine has a very clear knowledge of what wedding traditions and conventions are, although we didn’t necessarily want to adhere to all of them. Thanks to her, I literally had nothing to do (I think I put a coat of topcoat on my nails!) the morning of the wedding. During the wedding, she was equally fantastic, dealt very well with the staff at the Carlyle, helped me resolve one small dress issue (my corset was digging in to me, and Elaine magically produced a pair of scissors to cut off the tag and medical tape to ease the rubbing), was in general running around doing a million little things. In the weeks leading up to the wedding, I was so so so glad I had hired her, knowing that there were so many things that I just didn’t have to worry about. My final words on the subject: hire Elaine.

Reception Hall:

Carlyle on the Green A+
The Carlyle was just great from start to finish. We dealt with Sue Perugini, who is a real sweetheart. Every time I went to the Carlyle, I liked it better than the last. They were very easy to work with, accommodating a number of small (and unusual) details that we requested. I really wish I had taken 5 or 10 minutes before everyone arrived to take in how the place looked, but because we had a receiving line during the cocktail hour, everything became a blur very quickly! Barbara, our bridal attendant, was fantastic – my sister-in-law wants a Barbara for herself! She brought us a number of hors d’ouevres from the cocktail hour before it started and generally pampered us throughout the night, making sure we actually ate, etc. The food was delicious (mini beef wellingtons, yum.....), as was the cake, although my other regret is that I really even didn’t have time to eat dessert (Barbara had put one of each dessert out for us, but I got caught saying goodbye to people). Our maitre’d was Cindy, and she seemed great – very professional and unobtrusive. Compliments, letters, and emails are still rolling in – we’re so glad we chose the Carlyle!

Honeymoon – French Polynesia and New Zealand – even better than the wedding – see review!

Final words of advice:

For planning:
Use the boards!
Think about where you might want to go for your honeymoon, find out when the best time is to go there, and consider that timing when choosing a wedding date.
Be strong if you have strong preferences – I really wanted a small wedding, my mom wanted something much larger. My husband was leaning toward large, too, but didn’t realize how much work and sacrifice planning such a wedding would take on my part – he might have leaned in a different direction if he knew then what he knows now. [Also true.] Our wedding was wonderful, but I do still wish it had been smaller and more intimate.

For the wedding day:
Hire a day-of coordinator – don’t think about whether to do it, just do it – it will make your life so much easier
If possible, take a few minutes when you arrive at your hall to look at all the details and personal touches you put so much work into!
Eat – dessert!