UPDATED!!! SEE PAGE 10 QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

Since the Kobe incident and other prominent men in our society have been caught up in being unfaithful, my question is do you think all men cheat??? and do you think if given the right opportunity would a man cheat if he thinks it will not be found out??? Do you think more men than women cheat. What do you think makes men or women cheat.

DO YOU THINK YOUR MARRIAGE IS INFIDELITY PROOF AND IF YOU SAY YES, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THIS???

I will be back with my response, it is the discussion Roger and I have been having since the incident.

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

Sorry for sneaking in on this since I am not married yet.

I do not think that ALL men cheat, but I think if a man was given the opportunity and told that by no means he would get caught - he would do it. As sad as it is - Men are very weak individuals especially men who are having served up to them on a silver platter.

I was reading an article about men cheating- one point that was made is that men like to conquer and they like variety. They do not like to be confined. In a sense they get bored.

I do not think there is a fool proof way to keep your man from cheating. You could cook him 3 meals a day, please them intimately, and be the best person you can be, but it they still want to cheat they will.

My answer- prayer, that is all I can do.

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

Good question!

I do not think all men cheat, no.
However I think ALOT of men do, and women are so blind to it.

I see alot of women get too 'relaxed' after they get married. They gain weight, don't dress up anymore, don't take care of themselves in general because they feel, since they are married, they no longer need to do this.

Also, most women do not continue to do the things they did for the man while dating, wear lingerie, apply makeup, etc.

But Shamma, women cheat too!!

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

Shamma- you always come up with the tough ones!

I don't think all men cheat. I do not think a man or woman who wouldn't cheat to begin with, wouldn't cheat if they thought they would not be found out.
I would think more men than women cheat, but I am not sure about this b/c I have known both, and from my experience in who I know it is pretty even.
I am not sure what would make someone cheat, I would guess for men, what they feel is not enough sex in their marriage/relationship as 1 reason, and maybe for women -lack of romance in marriage/relationship.

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

I just had to add, before we got married, John's feelings & discussions towards cheating were stronger than mine!

You can all believe me or not, but my husband is so against this. He believes in faithfulness more than anyone I have ever met before.
He is so old school about honesty, commintment & unfaithfullness.

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

Jennbaby, while I think it is important to still keep up your looks, wear lingerie etc, even that may not be enough sometime. I have heard stories of men who cheat that are married to beautiful, wonderful woman who had been doing all the things that you are supposed to do to keep your man happy.

Point blank if a man wants to do it , he will no matter how good he has it at home.

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

I do not think all men cheat at all. Famous ones like KOBY get caught up in their so called 'Groupies'

Also many men that do not spend a lot of time with their wives get tempted more often it seems, It happened to someone I know upstate and I read about it in a magazine, many men are always on so-called'business trips' and are more tempted and not always honest w/their wives - there was a whole study on it, its sad

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

I think women ar driven to cheat and men just do it .

It would take alot for me to cheat on my guy, .i.e, neglect, lack of affection and attention, disrespect.

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

Let's not forget it goes the other way as well. Men need to try to keep up with the way they were before also. Women do cheat, and I would think more now than back in the day. Women are out of the house more with work, etc and can cheat just as easily as a man can. The relationship can only be kept alive and thriving if both people are willing to work at it!

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

I don't think all men cheat. I think some might realize before anything the circumstances.
I think it's disgusting how many of these men feel its ok. Just because it's being offered doesn't mean you have to take it!! And I REALLY don't understand how the woman can 'Stand by their Man' I don't think I could ever!! It will always be on the back of my head how he was with another woman. And what if she wasn't the only one!!

I do think married woman do cheat as well. Some people don't like to give up their single status.

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

Some people cheat, some don't. I think there are millions of different reasons why someone would (none of them valid, of course!), and my honest opinion is that if your spouse is going to cheat on you, there is VERY little you can do to stop it, unfortunately.

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

I honestly don't think any marriage is infidelity proof. Relationships change all the time, like I said before it takes work from both parties to keep it alive and thriving.

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

I knew this guy (he was NOT a friend), who was married to this drop dead gorgeous woman, and this woman was so great to him.
Anyways, this guy would go the the city almost once a week for hookers!

Goes to show that all the beauty and lingere won't keep your man if he's got it in his mind that he's going to cheat.

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

If you keep your marriage alive with romance, communication, honesty, etc it doesn't always stop the cheating, but it does help.
Also do not let yourself go to crap! (looks), do what you can to look your best always. Again I am not saying this will not make him cheat, but I see so many women I know who look bad now after they got married! They look like slobs!

Shamma as I said earlier, John's feelings on this are MUCH stronger than mine, he can not stand it even when we watch a movie & someone is having an affair, he wants to turn it off!

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

Not to start drama but Jenn I think your comment:

I see alot of women get too 'relaxed' after they get married. They gain weight, don't dress up anymore, don't take care of themselves in general because they feel, since they are married, they no longer need to do this.

Your husband is supposed to love you NO MATTER WHAT!!! there is no till death till we part or if you no longer wear make up, gain a few pounds, & start wearing flannel pj's.

that's like saying to a man till death till we part as long as you don't lose all your hair, don't get a belly, & keep you farts to yourself!!

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

Tracy, what I am saying is, I have more male friends than female & I see their wives do this & I have several male friends complain to me about it or ask me their advice on what they should do to ask their wives to look sexy again.

We all do what you said, wear no makeup, flannel pj's etc, but some women do this 24/7 and never dress up for their husbands anymore.

Yes they should love you no matter what, but alot of men are very visual!!

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

I do not think all men cheat but I do think most think about it once or twice in their life time. Its the love you share and the life you build together that will hopefully stop him from straying. It is up to both partners to keep the 'spark' alive and it takes alot of work and committment.

I know in my heart that my husband would never cheat because of his religious values and his strong love for me but I will make sure that I will do whatever it takes to be the woman he lusts after even when we are 90 : ).

I also wanted to add that there are a ton of women that cheat also.

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

I do not think that all men cheat. I do think that more men than women cheat. This is something that really bothers me with men. I am going to get a little personal, but my father has cheated on my stepmom their entire marriage (17 years). She finally grew a back bone and left him. He does not understand why she does not want to come back. he thinks because she was a stay at home mom that she had it made and that gave him the right to do whatever he wanted to do!! I told him he needs therapy.

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

I am sorry- I do not think because women maybe gain a few pounds and don't wear lingerie that men will cheat. And if my DH does cheat on me and throws those excuses out then F him- good riddance.

I am sorry- but men age too- and I do not think the pressure on keeping a man from not cheating is the woman's responsibility. I would hope that my relationship with my DH transcends looks and lingerie.. those can be all taken away in an instant in an accident or a tragedy- it's what is in the heart that is important.

Do I think John will cheat on me? No. But- who is to say in 20 years if he meets someone with whom he has some emotional connection he will not.. you just don't know... I don't see him doing it for sex, but for something more serious..

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

Tracy! I couldnt agree w/ you more!! when a man loves you he loves you no matter what!