Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

I am almost 26..

A few more days..

I have always LOVED Sex but with Ronnie I can't get enuff of him!!

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

I blame these BCPs. They got my hormones out of wack.

Is everyday too much of a demand.

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

I have been on BC since I was 17..........
Even b4 I had sex bc I had to regulate my period.....

Sex is fun and friendly girl and when you love that person its even better........
I am starting to be happy when I am naked so that makes my sex life even better!

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

WOW!!! It took me a long time to read all the responses to this question. I agree with a lot of what has been said and disagree with some.

My answer to the original question is no. I do not believe that any marriage or relationship between two people is 100% infidelity proof. Most of the reasons that I feel that way have already been mentioned in other posts so I won't repeat them, but I think the biggest reason is because we are all human. Every day we face temptation, whether it be something we desire or someone. I know from my own life experiences that it is all too easy to become bored with the routine, everyday mundane things in our lives and therefore begin to look for something outside to excite us. That is just plain human nature. That excitement could be shopping or it could be a one night stand. I will not differentiate between men and women on this because it works the same for either sex.

I think you can do everything to be the very best person that you can be and it can still happen. Perhaps my view is jaded. I was cheated on by my ex-husband when we had been married for a little over 2 years. Why?????? Because he was bored. I gave everything I had to that marriage, I worked, I had a 1 year old child at home, I cooked and cleaned, I took care of myself, was a warm and loving sexual partner and still he cheated. It was not anything that I did. The failing was his and his alone. He is human. Did we go on? Yes. Did he ever cheat on me again? No. When I did leave that marriage is was for many other reasons and that didn't even enter into my decision.

That being said, I think anyone at anytime can have a weak moment. Never say never, because unless you have a crystal ball (in which case I would like the Mega-Millions numbers) you do not know what the future holds. I think we are all fallable and capable of infidelity given the right set of circumstances.

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

Very well said Wendy!
I think it's great that we believe our marriages are 100% infidelity proof, but in reality, the only thing we do know 100% is that we are human and that we are not perfect. Therefore nothing we feel or create can ever be perfect, including a relationship, a trust, a marriage, etc. We can only believe in ourselves and our partners and hope that we will always make right decisions and that our mistakes will not be infidelity but something much less significant.

Re: QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

As I saw the topic of cheating on NWR, I remembered that I said that I would let you all know what Roger said about me gaining weight if he would leave me and he said yes he would.

He said if he wanted a fat woman he would have married one. He said the only way he would not leave me was if I gained the weight b/c of an illness or something that caused me to not be able to move etc.

I know it might be harsh but it is a reality. He told me if I sat at home eating bon bons and just gained the weight, he would first say something to me, 2) warn me and if I did not do anything about it, then that would mean I did not care and he would be out the door.

It might not be what I wanted to hear, but the reality is, if he does not find a fat woman attractive, I cannot knock him for that. Just wanted to share.

Re: UPDATED!!! SEE PAGE 10 QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

Shamma- Winston said the same thing to me.

He really likes a fit woman. He is so worried because my mom and my aunt have both gained weight over the years.

At first I was like W*T*F*, but I can be just as superficial about him- I do not like him to have too much facial here or go without a haircut for more than a week.

Realisitically I do not think he would leave me for gaining weight, but I do know that he would not be as attracted to me because he would think I was letting myself go and did not care as much.

Re: UPDATED!!! SEE PAGE 10 QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

I am sorry to post this, but I will love my husband no matter what & I would never leave unless he cheated or did me wrong somehow.

He says the same about me.

edited to say he has gained weight and I love him all the more.

Re: UPDATED!!! SEE PAGE 10 QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

I have to agree with Jenn. I gained a few pounds after the wedding and I know DH doesn't like it .. but he's not exactly fit! Of course we'd both love it if both of us had great bodies, but I guess we just never considered the physical to be a determining factor in our relationship. We would be attracted to each other regardless of our weight or looks. The person you marry is not going to look the same as they did on your wedding day.

Re: UPDATED!!! SEE PAGE 10 QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

I guess I have it for future reference. I cannot knock him for his honesty.

Re: UPDATED!!! SEE PAGE 10 QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

My DH is overweight and in the middle of losing it. I am very proud of him. When I first started dating DH he was in his last faze of losing weight and was down to a size 34. After we were together he gain almost all the weight back by the time we got married. NO MATTER WHAT size he is I love him, no matter what.

Right now he is losing the weight for himself and so he can feel good and happy about himself not for me. I could care less if he was skinny or fat, I love him no matter what.

As for me I use to be very skinny and have gain alot of weight. He jokes around calling me fatty sometimes (doesn't bother me) but he tells me that I am beautiful and that he loves me no matter what. Right now since I am not happy with myself he is helping me to lose the weight. He wants to me to be happy for myself not because he doesn't love me.

Re: UPDATED!!! SEE PAGE 10 QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

Latina, when I met DH he too was 'bigger', he lost 60lbs for 'me' so he says (meanwhile I never cared!)...and now he gained alot of it back, but I love him no matter what.

I told him as long as he's healthy & the weight doesn't affect his health, I am fine with it.

Re: UPDATED!!! SEE PAGE 10 QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

since DH and I met he gained 60 pounds and I gained 25!!!!

you don't notice the weight going on...but DH started to get into an unhealthy weight...although he didn't look too bad...it was just hidden...and being that his father died at 56...I am worried


since DH has lost 30 and I have lost 15 or so...and we are helping each other out...


weight is so sneaky....so its a hard situation to judge...although if John wasn't as receptive to healthy cooking and exercising...i think I might become frustrated...

Re: UPDATED!!! SEE PAGE 10 QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

The topic of weight gain really hits me hard. I would NEVER leave my husband because of a spare tire....or if he gained 5 spare tires. I would however, want him to lose it, and help him lose it, because of his health. I battled my father on this my entire life, and still do. His health is perpetually in danger because of his weight, and it is a losing battle. I refuse to let my husband (or myself for that matter) follow the same path. I would never ever leave him because of it though, I would fight to get him healthy, but never at the cost of self esteem. I am by no means skinny, but I am not down about myself because of my weight or how I look...moreso because I am afraid of something going wrong healthwise. I already suffer from ailments like my dad started to (kidney stones) and I just don't want to end up like him (closing in on his 2nd kidney shutting down). My husband knows my fears about this, and hates extra weight himself, but we love eachother so immensley and it is just a non-issue past 'feeling good'. I would love him with (God forbid!) scars, deformities, ANYTHING. It's the person inside I married, and his cuteness is just a huge bonus.

Re: UPDATED!!! SEE PAGE 10 QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

I would never leave Mark just because of weight gain, ever, and if he left me just because of that than I would have to question if he ever really loved me. Just because you gain weight does not mean you change who you are, you are still the same person. Same heart and soul.

Re: UPDATED!!! SEE PAGE 10 QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

I do think that you should love your mate no matter what but I am going to be really honest here- humans are very visual creatures. Before we love the inside of a person it is the outside that attracts us first.

My hubby has a nice body, he is always at the gym and works at his body. I will admit if he started to get sloppy and put on extra pounds I would be very disappointed- would I still love him yes, but I would still want him to be physically fit, and vice versa. My Dh loves me to death but if I too got sloppy and did not care about my weight - he would continue to profess his love for me, but in the back of his mind he would be disgusted with me. You know what I would not blame him either. I think you should always try to look good for yourself AND your mate.

Re: UPDATED!!! SEE PAGE 10 QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

I would never leave my husband if he gained weight and the same vice versa. I mean weight is too trivial to say I would leave the love of my life to go and find some stupid skinny man

Re: UPDATED!!! SEE PAGE 10 QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

Awww, it makes me sad to think of a marriage breaking up because of some extra pounds. Really sad.

I know my DH would love it if we were both more fit, but its more of a health thing than anything else. I tell him to quit smoking, he tells me to give up dessert! But neither of us would call it quits if I gained some weight, nor would I leave him if he got lung cancer.

Re: UPDATED!!! SEE PAGE 10 QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

I wouldn't leave my husband if he gains a lot of weight, and I would think he feels the same way. However, I must say that both of us would be extremely dissappointed if the other lets him/her self go.

Re: UPDATED!!! SEE PAGE 10 QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

Wow, this makes me sad. While I appreciate the honesty of the man/men who said they would leave if their wives gained weight, what happened to the 'for better or worse' part of the marriage vows??

ETA: Would it be fair if he said 'I would be less attracted to you if you gained weight', sure! But to leave?? It's kinda scary. JMO