Re: Strippers

Its been said already, but my feeling on strippers seem to mesh with some of the other girls. I am not into male strippers at all, It would make me very uncomfortable.. so my MOH knows all this and has agreed to NO strippers.

FH on the other hand, doesnt know if he wants them or not, so I will let him make that decision for himself. I do not want to tell him he cant have them.. but I trust him if he does or he doesnt want them so i respect the decision.

Re: Strippers

Well I plan on having two bachelorette parties, one in Vegas (I grew up there and friends want to throw me one) and the other in NYC. FH isnt crazy about the Vegas one and says if I have one there he gets one there too. lol, not so sure about that! Some of my friends are party planners out there and we wouldnt have to pay much for anything, and one works at one of the hotels on the strip. Im not crazy about male strippers so we would probably just hit up some top lounges and get a Penthouse suite.

Though, I have to say, I work for Penthouse Magazine, and all the guys I work with want FH to have his at the Penthouse exec. Club. I dont want him getting any special treatment if you know what I mean. So, I dont think Im going to hook him up!

I hope he goes with his first idea of having a paintball bach. party What I great idea!!!

Re: Strippers

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Posted by Espo22
UGH whats wrong with these men my god you couldnt get this kid to NOT go out for god knows how many years and now it is like pulling teeth lol. EXACTLY!!! i want him to go out to clubs with me more, i love going out dancing with him. I told him while we're in Florida he better lol.

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i know exactly what you mean

FH used to go out every weekend and STAY out until the next day and really party - at that point my parents really only let me out once in a blue moon so i was stuck at home most of the time.

now, i just want to go to a bar and have some drinks nothing crazy or mind altering LOL and he is like nahhh - lets stay in LOL

Re: Strippers

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Posted by Mizzdimple

QUOTE]

UGH whats wrong with these men my god you couldnt get this kid to NOT go out for god knows how many years and now it is like pulling teeth lol. EXACTLY!!! i want him to go out to clubs with me more, i love going out dancing with him. I told him while we're in Florida he better lol.

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I HATE THIS..FH TOO...i mean what do they want for us to stay home and get FAT.

lol- when we lived together., and i went out without him he had a big problem....i wonder how it is gonna be when we are married

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yeah fh prefers to go out to dinners, i said i cant im gonna gain so much weight lol

Fh actually always tells me to go out, he can't do anything sat's bc he wakes up early for softball on sundays and he feels bad

Re: Strippers

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Posted by Songstress1212

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Posted by Espo22

OH WAIT wanna know why we cant go out to clubs, bc he has softball early sunday mornings

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Lets not even get started with the excuses!!! I guess them not wanting to go out anymore is because of us! They found their women, whats the point of going out anymore right?!! I think the REAL reason is because he hates disrespectful men and doesnt want to get into a fight. Does FH ever tell you that. Youre gorgeous so Im sure when you guys go out he has to put up with guys who dont know how to act right...I kind of understand when he puts it that way but its still not Fair!

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OMG that is histerical, that is the EXACT reason FH says he doesnt want to go out...he says he wants to avoid problems, he says he'll get into fights if a guy says something to me or acts stupid, but i tell him come on theyll see im with you most guys arent like that although yes some are stupid.

Re: Strippers

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Posted by LeslieMike

Well I plan on having two bachelorette parties, one in Vegas (I grew up there and friends want to throw me one) and the other in NYC. FH isnt crazy about the Vegas one and says if I have one there he gets one there too. lol, not so sure about that! Some of my friends are party planners out there and we wouldnt have to pay much for anything, and one works at one of the hotels on the strip. Im not crazy about male strippers so we would probably just hit up some top lounges and get a Penthouse suite.

Though, I have to say, I work for Penthouse Magazine, and all the guys I work with want FH to have his at the Penthouse exec. Club. I dont want him getting any special treatment if you know what I mean. So, I dont think Im going to hook him up!

I hope he goes with his first idea of having a paintball bach. party What I great idea!!!

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oh i know FH is going to vegas. I wanna go too but lets see how things work out

Re: Strippers

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by Espo22
UGH whats wrong with these men my god you couldnt get this kid to NOT go out for god knows how many years and now it is like pulling teeth lol. EXACTLY!!! i want him to go out to clubs with me more, i love going out dancing with him. I told him while we're in Florida he better lol.

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i know exactly what you mean

FH used to go out every weekend and STAY out until the next day and really party - at that point my parents really only let me out once in a blue moon so i was stuck at home most of the time.

now, i just want to go to a bar and have some drinks nothing crazy or mind altering LOL and he is like nahhh - lets stay in LOL

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We all need to do something about this

Exactly were not asking to go out and go nuts...See i personally love to see FH dance and us to dance together, whats the big deal

Re: Strippers

I dont have any fears that my FH would cheat on me. However, I do not think it would be appropriate for him or I to pay anyone else to be naked for us.
FH doesnt dig strippers, and neither do I.
As far as him not planning his own party, if his best man and friends want to look at strippers then by all means they can go to a strip joint whenever they want.

I just dont like the idea of men or women using their bp's as an excuse to do **** that they wouldnt normally do.

If you're guy or gal goes to strip clubs regularly, then why not have them at the bp? But if it's being used as a 'last night as a single guy/gal' and they do stuff that wouldnt normally be acceptable in their relationship it's wrong.

I also don't agree with the idea that guys who have never cheated definitely wont cheat at their BP. That's just not the case. I know two guys who never cheated on their girlfriends/fiances. They got totally wasted at their bachelor party and their friends encouraged them to do **** with the strippers or the prostitutes b/c it was their 'last chance'
Peer pressure is a hard thing to cope with. Especially while under the influence of alcohol. Not to mention that society seems to portray fooling around at your bp as 'the norm'

I'm not telling any of you to not trust your fiance, I'm not even saying that no one should have strippers at their bp's.

I'm just saying, that it's okay for people to be uncomfortable with the idea. And if you really dont want strippers at your FH party you have the right to say something, and the right to be upset if they do have them. You shouldnt worry about being judged as 'uncool' or controlling.

Re: Strippers

I just look at it this way ..if somone is going to cheat they are going to do it.....im sure alot of guys who wouldnt normally cheat go alot farther at their bachelor party then they should...theres alot of drinking and men egging each other on...but I do feel if a guy is looking at it as his last SINGLE night out hes just wrong...if hes engaged he hasnt been single for a while,......and should not behave as if its their last night of freedom...I want FH to have a good time ...and as far as I am concerned have 200 strippers have a good night out....but I dont care if him and his friends were to go to strip clubs once a month either.......

Re: Strippers

I think male strippers are GROSS! And honestly, I don't want FH having female strippers. I think it is really a respect thing for us. He doesn't want them either, would rather golf and gamble.

Re: Strippers

I'm not so into the stripper thing either.
I'm thinking of talking my MOHs for us to do a bachelorette spa party followed by an evening on the town partying :)

For my FH...his brothers and best man want strippers, he could care less, me...I told him if he gets an STD b/c she rubbed up on him in ANY way, than the wedding is off!
Maybe that's harsh, but I'm not too thrilled about some other woman smashing her assets into his face. Go figure!

Re: Strippers

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Posted by bemyyoko

I dont have any fears that my FH would cheat on me. However, I do not think it would be appropriate for him or I to pay anyone else to be naked for us.
FH doesnt dig strippers, and neither do I.
As far as him not planning his own party, if his best man and friends want to look at strippers then by all means they can go to a strip joint whenever they want.

I just dont like the idea of men or women using their bp's as an excuse to do **** that they wouldnt normally do.

If you're guy or gal goes to strip clubs regularly, then why not have them at the bp? But if it's being used as a 'last night as a single guy/gal' and they do stuff that wouldnt normally be acceptable in their relationship it's wrong.

I also don't agree with the idea that guys who have never cheated definitely wont cheat at their BP. That's just not the case. I know two guys who never cheated on their girlfriends/fiances. They got totally wasted at their bachelor party and their friends encouraged them to do **** with the strippers or the prostitutes b/c it was their 'last chance'
Peer pressure is a hard thing to cope with. Especially while under the influence of alcohol. Not to mention that society seems to portray fooling around at your bp as 'the norm'

I'm not telling any of you to not trust your fiance, I'm not even saying that no one should have strippers at their bp's.

I'm just saying, that it's okay for people to be uncomfortable with the idea. And if you really dont want strippers at your FH party you have the right to say something, and the right to be upset if they do have them. You shouldnt worry about being judged as 'uncool' or controlling.

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I agree with you, its ok for ppl to feel uncomfortable but in the same respect, it should be ok for those who are comfortable and not have to hear that something is wrong with our relationship or us if we do. I really think to each their own on this one.

The reason why i dont want FH at my bp is bc of this: during the wedding planning things get hectic and you dont get to see your friends as often either bc you're busy or bc of money. At e-party you don't have alot of time to dedicate to them, bridal shower same thing and the wedding will be even worse...Theyre doing alot for us and dedicating time and money. I want this to be just a night out with friends and us to spend time together, if FH is there then that will take away my time from them.

If I go to a male strip club that does not mean i want to sleep with them or anything. Ive been to them and had a couple of the male strippers hit on me after and i didnt care for them, and this was when I was single. Male clubs are different though, theyre up on a stage while girls are in the audience further away and its more of a show, its not all in your face...With that said id rather go out and dance all night but if someone plans that then i'll make the best of it. And neither Fh or I would pay for it actually, it would be paid for.

Honestly, for a guy to cheat for the first time at a bp is rare. I know guys who did cheat but it wasnt the first time. A guy who is against it wont just do it out of nowhere, and to get pushed into doing it is not a great excuse...I dont see how my friends could ever convince me to cheat. The other scenario is that some guys aren't used to girls all over them or had many girls and when it happens they go all crazy.

WATCHING a stripper dance is not cheating, so its not being used as a last single night so thats why i dont see it as wrong. If he physically did something with her then that is different...and again i am sorry but even with lap dances they aren't cheap and to sleep with them on top of that, everyone makes it seem very accessible, unless they go to some grimey place.

I don't say its wrong for someone not to want a stripper so don't think it should be say that its wrong for ppl to be ok with it.

Re: Strippers

I've never been to a male strip club before, so I know that my girls are probably going to take me to one, which I much rather going there than male strippers coming to a house.

I know FH and all the guys are going to a strip club which is fine with me.

Re: Strippers

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by bemyyoko

I dont have any fears that my FH would cheat on me. However, I do not think it would be appropriate for him or I to pay anyone else to be naked for us.
FH doesnt dig strippers, and neither do I.
As far as him not planning his own party, if his best man and friends want to look at strippers then by all means they can go to a strip joint whenever they want.

I just dont like the idea of men or women using their bp's as an excuse to do **** that they wouldnt normally do.

If you're guy or gal goes to strip clubs regularly, then why not have them at the bp? But if it's being used as a 'last night as a single guy/gal' and they do stuff that wouldnt normally be acceptable in their relationship it's wrong.

I also don't agree with the idea that guys who have never cheated definitely wont cheat at their BP. That's just not the case. I know two guys who never cheated on their girlfriends/fiances. They got totally wasted at their bachelor party and their friends encouraged them to do **** with the strippers or the prostitutes b/c it was their 'last chance'
Peer pressure is a hard thing to cope with. Especially while under the influence of alcohol. Not to mention that society seems to portray fooling around at your bp as 'the norm'

I'm not telling any of you to not trust your fiance, I'm not even saying that no one should have strippers at their bp's.

I'm just saying, that it's okay for people to be uncomfortable with the idea. And if you really dont want strippers at your FH party you have the right to say something, and the right to be upset if they do have them. You shouldnt worry about being judged as 'uncool' or controlling.

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I agree with you, its ok for ppl to feel uncomfortable but in the same respect, it should be ok for those who are comfortable and not have to hear that something is wrong with our relationship or us if we do. I really think to each their own on this one.

The reason why i dont want FH at my bp is bc of this: during the wedding planning things get hectic and you dont get to see your friends as often either bc you're busy or bc of money. At e-party you don't have alot of time to dedicate to them, bridal shower same thing and the wedding will be even worse...Theyre doing alot for us and dedicating time and money. I want this to be just a night out with friends and us to spend time together, if FH is there then that will take away my time from them.

If I go to a male strip club that does not mean i want to sleep with them or anything. Ive been to them and had a couple of the male strippers hit on me after and i didnt care for them, and this was when I was single. Male clubs are different though, theyre up on a stage while girls are in the audience further away and its more of a show, its not all in your face...With that said id rather go out and dance all night but if someone plans that then i'll make the best of it. And neither Fh or I would pay for it actually, it would be paid for.

Honestly, for a guy to cheat for the first time at a bp is rare. I know guys who did cheat but it wasnt the first time. A guy who is against it wont just do it out of nowhere, and to get pushed into doing it is not a great excuse...I dont see how my friends could ever convince me to cheat. The other scenario is that some guys aren't used to girls all over them or had many girls and when it happens they go all crazy.

WATCHING a stripper dance is not cheating, so its not being used as a last single night so thats why i dont see it as wrong. If he physically did something with her then that is different...and again i am sorry but even with lap dances they aren't cheap and to sleep with them on top of that, everyone makes it seem very accessible, unless they go to some grimey place.

I don't say its wrong for someone not to want a stripper so don't think it should be say that its wrong for ppl to be ok with it.

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I think you're right on with the 'to each their own' attitude. Especially with something like this.

However, in my opinion being around naked girls who are not me, is pretty close to cheating, and a lap dance is full on cheating.

If FH and I were out at a club and some chick just started grinding on him, and he didnt do anything about it, and enjoyed it and got into it, I'd leave his *** right then and there. I don't see how that is differant than paying a girl to do it with even less clothing on. But that's just me.

but again, it's all about the scenario. FH and I can go to a strip club together, and he can enjoy the strippers and then we go home together. That's differant. I know couples who do that with clubs... like go out, have a blast, but remember at the end of the night you're going home with me and make kind of like a game out of it.

It's all about personal choice.

I also totally agree with you about the BPs being guys or girls only. Like i wouldnt want FH b/c i need some time with my friends, not bc i dont want him to know what's going on.

But again, there are people who will only cheat one thier signifcant other once. BPs are a good place for that to happen. Once a cheater always a cheater isnt really true.

Re: Strippers

definitely this is a 'to each their own' issue--cause everyone has so many different ideas about the BP. i was supposd to go to a strip show for my BP, but it just didn't work out. but i have been to them before (DH has given me money to go) and had fun, so it wasn't an issue.

as for his BP--my brother took him to a few strip joints and such. DH doesn't go regularly, but he's been before....so i didn't really mind so much. although i'm not gonna lie and say i was 100% thrilled at the idea of him getting lap dances. i kind of wanted him to not get them, but i wasn't gonna try and say 'you better not do it!' cause i know that the guys would want to buy him some.

in the end, he had a good time at his and i had a good time at mine---and everything worked out great

Re: Strippers

Well we are actually have a combined party, and his best man already asked me if i minded about the strippers, but I really could care less, FH only went once, and says hes not into them, but im sure his best man will get them for himself and the other guys ha

Re: Strippers

i dont want strippers and i know FH doesnt want them either..He'd rather watch a football game hahah

Re: Strippers

I do not want strippers at my bachelorette party and I would PREFER that FH not have them at his party but knowing his BM then it's a possibility. We had a talk about it and I told him to simply not disrespect himself and to not disrespect our relationship. He knows not to cross the line but my line does not end at having sex , there are alot of thing that you can do to disrespect yourself that doesn't involve having sex. I want him to have fun but don't be stupid.

Re: Strippers

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Posted by bemyyoko

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I think you're right on with the 'to each their own' attitude. Especially with something like this.

However, in my opinion being around naked girls who are not me, is pretty close to cheating, and a lap dance is full on cheating.

If FH and I were out at a club and some chick just started grinding on him, and he didnt do anything about it, and enjoyed it and got into it, I'd leave his *** right then and there. I don't see how that is differant than paying a girl to do it with even less clothing on. But that's just me.

but again, it's all about the scenario. FH and I can go to a strip club together, and he can enjoy the strippers and then we go home together. That's differant. I know couples who do that with clubs... like go out, have a blast, but remember at the end of the night you're going home with me and make kind of like a game out of it.

It's all about personal choice.

I also totally agree with you about the BPs being guys or girls only. Like i wouldnt want FH b/c i need some time with my friends, not bc i dont want him to know what's going on.

But again, there are people who will only cheat one thier signifcant other once. BPs are a good place for that to happen. Once a cheater always a cheater isnt really true.

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a random girl coming up to him at a club is different. She would want to hook up and why shes doing it, a stripper hate to say it but its a business...That girl in the club would leave with the guy in the club just like that. A stripper you better pay big bucks to do so otherwise all you get is to WATCH...same with lapdances-you go to more upscale places they're really not cheap at all and theres a bunch of rules. And here is the difference youre out with fh a girl ina club grinds him shes looking to take your man away, a stripper just wants his money and if you're with him she'll be more all over you than him.

This thread isn't about proving if its wrong or not to have strippers and why. Its about just what we each are doing bc anyone convincing the other side what is right or wrong wont really happen...This is what i think the problem is, girls who say they DON'T want their fh to have strippers feel the need to defend themselves bc everyone says well i trust him so why worry so they want to prove that they do trust their FH's and thats not the problem...Girls who are comfortable with it will get defensive bc we want it to be known that its not that were idiots and dont know what goes on or that we allow to be disrespected, we dont see it as a disrespect.

You're not comfortable with your FH watching a stripper and that is perfectly fine, i am not gonna try to change your mind or tell you that you're wrong or show examples of how you're wrong. But i am comfortable and same thing nobody is gonna change my mind, watching a girl dance is not a big deal whether she is naked or not, its the human body and FH has seen plenty of naked women lol. Ive been to femal strip clubs and didnt have a problem with it myself. But its about us being comfortable with our own decisions and as long as that is the case then it doesn't matter.

Re: Strippers

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Posted by ourday08

I do not want male stripper at my bachelorette party and I would PREFER that FH not have them at his party but knowing his BM then it's a possibility. We had a talk about it and I told him to simply not disrespect himself and to not disrespect our relationship. He knows not to cross the line but my line does not end at having sex , there are a lot of thing that you can do to disrespect yourself that doesn't involve having sex. I want him to have fun but don't be stupid.

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I totally agree and the thing that i find most respectful about all of you women on here is that you have ALL sat down and DISCUSSED this situation with your FH. it's important to be open and honest about your feelings regarding the BP. If you don't and then hear about the escapade at a later date, chances are, you'll be more upset. FH and I sat down and discussed it. Much like you, ourday08, I said, as long as you don't disrespect me or our relationship, it's all good, and I promise to act respectful too.

It's all about communicating what you like, don't like, etc. FH may think you are ok with strippers at his BP and that is why he is having them... there is nothing wrong with not wanting them there or wanting them there, as long as you are communicating with one another...