A letter most mother's could appreciate, UPDATED with more sad news. What can i send her?

I shouldn't be posting this but i am just so filled with emotions right now that I felt I needed to. I have a very good friend who has a baby with down syndrome, she got pregnant again and was told she would 99% have a "normal" baby, well here is her letter to me:

Thought we'd fill you in on whats going on with the pregnancy. I went in for the "20 week sonogram" and we found out we're having a baby girl and are very excited!!!!!. On the other hand we were told there are many things wrong with the development of the baby - fluid around the heart, possible club feet, shorten limbs, extra skin on the back of the neck, and a single umbilical cord (which could lead to a premature delivery). We were basically told that this baby has Down syndrome (Trisomy 21 like *deleted name*) and so I had an amniocentesis done to find out for sure or if there's the chance that something more serious is going on that we need to be aware of. Right now, we're waiting on the test results and trying to keep up our spirits. Down syndrome is definetely not the worst thing that could happen when we look at our beautiful son!!!!!. We are just saddened by him not having a sibling who is fully capable of looking after him when we're gone, so *her husband, deleted name* says he would like to adopt. That adage of "there are no mistakes in life" leads us to try and understand why God has chosen the kind of babies we are having, but we guess the answers will come with His time.
Other than that, all else is well. *deleted name* is going to an outpatient facility to receive more P/T to get him up and walking soon. He still cries everytime but hopefully he'll be able to comprehend what is happening to him and why we're "torturing" him! *her husband, deleted name* is working hard and I'm holding down the fort.

I hope this help someone who may be going through this. Her strength is amazing and I admire her!!!!!!!!

Message edited 2/26/2004 5:10:10 PM.

Re: A letter most mother's could appreciate

The only thing I can imagine is that God gives these people special strengths that the rest of us don't have so they can deal with what has come their way.

What a wonderful friend you have. You are very lucky.

Re: A letter most mother's could appreciate

She sounds like such a strong and amazing woman, mommy, wife and friend
She's has such a strong positive outlook on everything.
Sending her family lots of hugs and prayers.

Re: A letter most mother's could appreciate

In everything give thanks, I admire her curly, thanks for sharing her letter.

Re: A letter most mother's could appreciate

You have an amazing friend.

Re: A letter most mother's could appreciate

that was such a touching letter and it is so true that we are not given more than we can bear and only strong/special people are usually given a sick child b/c they can handle/raise it w/ love

Re: A letter most mother's could appreciate

What an amazing woman!

Re: A letter most mother's could appreciate

I am lucky. Thanks for listening ladies.

Re: A letter most mother's could appreciate

Re: A letter most mother's could appreciate, UPDATED with more sad news. What can i send her?

She got her amnio back and:

"Thanks Karina for the kind words. Unfortunately things went from bad to worse concerning the baby. The "extended" genetic tests from the amnio came back that the baby has an abnormal 19 chromosome (Down syndrome was ruled out). The prognosis we were given is that the baby may die before it's born or if the baby should survive could have severe physical/developmental delays. The baby inherited the chromosome from me which I inherited from either my mom or dad. I inherited the abnormal 19 chromosome "balanced" and wasn't effected by it since I'm a fully functioning person, but unfortunately the baby inherited it "unbalanced" causing all kinds of things to go wrong genetically. We were not advised to have any more children naturally as the risk is too high. We are just devasted and don't know what to think or feel. I wish we had better news.
Take care,
Love,
XXXXX"


I am in tears. Please ladies, what would you do or send her.

Re: A letter most mother's could appreciate, UPDATED with more sad news. What can i send her?

Gosh how sad I just want to give her hugs!!!

Re: A letter most mother's could appreciate, UPDATED with more sad news. What can i send her?

That is so sad. I am so sorry for them...

Re: A letter most mother's could appreciate, UPDATED with more sad news. What can i send her?

Re: A letter most mother's could appreciate, UPDATED with more sad news. What can i send her?

So sad. I don't know what I would do for her except give her a great big hug and let her cry on your shoulder. My heart breaks when I hear stories like this.

Re: A letter most mother's could appreciate, UPDATED with more sad news. What can i send her?

AWE How sad.

She does sound like a strong and amazing person...

Im not sure what would be the right thing to say or do...
Maybe you can search a chatboard on yahoo of those going through similar situations and ask them what you should send? just a thought..

Re: A letter most mother's could appreciate, UPDATED with more sad news. What can i send her?

oh dear...how terribly awful. Gosh, I have no idea what you could send.

Maybe just a really nice card - do you live nearby? Maybe you can drop off a nice card and a bouquet of tulips or something. Just a thought....

Re: A letter most mother's could appreciate, UPDATED with more sad news. What can i send her?

I would tell her that you are terribly sorry and wish you knew what to say but what can you say at a time like this except that you wish things did not turn out this way.

Re: A letter most mother's could appreciate, UPDATED with more sad news. What can i send her?

Oh my... how completely devastating. I think the best thing you can give is your friendship and love, which you are obviously doing very generously.

to you and your friend.