| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: 1 [2] |
kdelace
Is it summer yet?
Member since 7/03 3090 total posts
Wedding Date:
1/1/2011 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
|
Re: We went to pick up our wedding bands and almost called off the wedding! (Super Long)
its a hard situation.. first, my bridal party paid for my shower.. they set a limit because of what they could afford and that was fine. you have to be firm. tell your fmil that if she wants the extra people, shes going to have to pay for them. and as far as the wedding goes, husband and i paid for the whole thing and we first asked our parents for their guest lists. if it was over what we could do, we were going to ask them to cut it down or pay for the extra people. turns out the lists were fine... but this is YOUR wedding. remember that. if you and your fh are arguing over family wedding issues, thats not good for you two. remember this is your day.. dont let family come in between your happiness.
|
Posted 3/28/04 3:09 PM 
|
| |
|
Marisa&Brian
Board Fanatic
Member since 2/04 803 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/20/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Watermill
|
Re: We went to pick up our wedding bands and almost called off the wedding! (Super Long)
ok JMO - Bottom line - YOUR parents are generous enough to pay for the reception- THEY make the calls as far as the guest lists and # of people attending the wedding. - If your parents have told you they can afford to pay for 150 guests, and you FMIL is NOT willing to help out - the she is being COMPLETELY disrespectful of your parents and their position. -
you were not at all wrong to 'ask' her to cut down her guest list - Maybe your mom can help you out w/ this one ?? My Aunt politely called my cousin's FMIL and told her that she and my Uncle could afford a wedding of X number of people, and she may invite X number of guests from her side. - End of story. - You FMIL is NOT paying a dime - she has NO right to hand over a list of 100 people to your parents ! That is totally and completely disrespectfull - and PLEASE do not think you did the wrong thing -
|
|
Posted 3/28/04 3:16 PM
|
| |
|
eogara
Newlyweds!!!!
Member since 2/04 6592 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/3/2005 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Milleridge Cottage
|
Re: We went to pick up our wedding bands and almost called off the wedding! (Super Long)
Posted by violetfairy
Truth is that I'd be furious with FI right now. Where does he get off saying that your parents should pay for his mom's extra guests? That's insane. I know you don't want to hear this, but I agree that I'd set a limit and tell her if she wants to go over the limit, she needs to contribute.
This is what I'm thinking... In the end, it should be FH that tells his mother what she can do with her extra guests. It's totally unfair that he is taking her side on this. I'd deal with him, rather than her, on this. Seems like you would have a bit more leverage with him than her since she seems totally unreasonable.
|
|
Posted 3/28/04 3:17 PM
|
| |
|
sophie78
It's An Obsession
Member since 4/03 3421 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2004 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
|
Re: We went to pick up our wedding bands and almost called off the wedding! (Super Long)
I really feel for you. You FMIL is definitely taking advantage of your parents' generosity. I would give them a number and force them to cut their list down so it works. Otherwise, threaten to do it yourself.
I live by the motto, "If you're not paying for it, then you have no say."
|
|
Posted 3/28/04 3:31 PM
|
| |
|
jill13bean
Where did the time go?
Member since 1/04 2894 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/30/2005 7:30 PM
Wed. Location:
The wedding of my dreams!!!
|
Re: We went to pick up our wedding bands and almost called off the wedding! (Super Long)
I am sorry sorry you have to deal with this... i think that you should either speak to you FMIL or have your mom and tell her how many people and if she wants more then she has to pay for it... bottom line if that is what you or your parents can afford than that is how it will be
IT is YOUR wedding as someone else said not hers
I hope everything works out for you
Posted by june262004
I have never heard of the MOM paying for the shower and not the BP. Maybe back in her day it was like that but honestly when I was in my cousins BP I was like 14 and 16 I used some of my babysitting money and my parents paid the rest. And she needs to cut this list down also. Anyway who is getting married here her son or her?
Hang in there. 
How could you expect a 14 year old to chip in $$$ for a shower. Everyone i know... their mom pays for the bridal shower.. i have said this before i would never expect my bridal party to pay for my shower
Message edited 3/28/2004 3:43:47 PM.
|
|
Posted 3/28/04 3:37 PM
|
| |
|
violetfairy
Board Fanatic
Member since 4/03 537 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/1/2004 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
|
Re: We went to pick up our wedding bands and almost called off the wedding! (Super Long)
Everyone i know... their mom pays for the bridal shower
That's the way it's been with my friends' weddings, too, and now I keep looking back and wondering if I was unintentionally rude... I don't remember if I offered to chip in for showers when I was a BM, but I know no one ever asked me. 'Course, I was only in one when I was an "adult," the rest were when I was about 18.
To solve this, I've asked my mom to make it a "no big deal" shower if she has one for me-- just at her house with heroes and soda type of thing, so it's not expensive for anyone.
|
|
Posted 3/28/04 5:36 PM
|
| |
|
cuddlez758
Board Enthusiast
Member since 2/04 132 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/4/2004 12:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Eastwind Estate
|
Re: We went to pick up our wedding bands and almost called off the wedding! (Super Long)
Let me just say my wedding is also 150. I told FMIL exactly "TO be fair lets split 50 for my parents 50 for them and 50 for me and FH". She went behind my back and talked to FH. So he calls me up asking me not to invite my some of my frineds so we can put some of his mothers guest on our list. Mind you she's not paying a cent for anything, and has the audasity to make me feel bad about my not so expensive centerpieces. And my parents are carrying this whole wedding on their shoulders. I was ready to send her somewhere but I figure, I still get to send the invitations hahahaha.
|
|
Posted 3/28/04 7:46 PM
|
| |
|
| Pages: 1 [2] |
