sticky situation... what do you all think? THANKS FOR THE INSIGHT!!

SO i went to visit my grandmother today, who is in her 90s and very sick. for some reason she kept on telling me over and over that i should ask my brother to walk me down the aisle at the wedding (my dad passsed away a little over a year ago. i have one brother who is 17 years older than me). at first i skirted the issue cause i'm not sure what i want to do about the aisle thing. but when she kept on saying that i broke down and told her i would ask him. BUT a while back my mother hinted to me that she would like to be the one to walk me. i don't know myself what i want to do about this - a big part of me actually wants to walk alone as a way of saying that no one can replace my dad. so i don't want to disappoint my mother, but if i didn't ask my bro i would feel so GUILTY that i made the promise and didn't keep it. i don't know what to do now

Message edited 7/26/2004 4:03:29 PM.

Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

Have your mom and your brother both walk you down the aisle. Your dad, even though he is not physically there, will still be walking you down the aisle in spirit as well!!

Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

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Posted by Boop2704

Have your mom and your brother both walk you down the aisle. Your dad, even though he is not physically there, will still be walking you down the aisle in spirit as well!!

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Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

I agree as well- both would be really nice!!

Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

i have a similar situatoin. My dad who lives in california (wasn't even sure til today wether or not he was coming) and my brother, and my mother all think they should be the one to walk me down. Can't possibly have all three of them. lol

Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

definately have your mom and your brother walk you down the aisle.. I think.. Nobody gets left out

Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

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Posted by Happybride2005

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Posted by Boop2704

Have your mom and your brother both walk you down the aisle. Your dad, even though he is not physically there, will still be walking you down the aisle in spirit as well!!

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I agree also

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Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

Both my mom & brother walked me down...and it was very special to both of them

Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

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Posted by Boop2704

Have your mom and your brother both walk you down the aisle. Your dad, even though he is not physically there, will still be walking you down the aisle in spirit as well!!

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Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

i don't know - this is a difficult situation.....on one hand, it would be an honor for your mother and brother to walk you down and would make them happy i'm sure....but on the other hand, if you want to walk yourself down to show that your father can never be replaced, i think that's a nice though as well.

i think this is something you have to decide on your own....

Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

This too shall pass. You're getting married in May. Take your time making this decision. Things and feeling can change. Put it on the side for now, and/or discuss your feelings with your family. The answer will present itself. You will know what you want.

Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

I;d discuss it with them. I am fortunate enough to have my father. I can't really say what I would do in your shoes because it's something I can't understand as much as I can try to.
I don't think that walking with your mom and brother makes your dad seem any more replacable. It's more like a logicla extension, that if your mom and brother are there, it on one hand shows the absence of your father, but it also makes it as if he is there with you in spirit, as I'm sure he will be, because the rest of your family is there. I don't think that anyone will think, or that you will ever feel that your dad is at all replaceable if your mom and bro walk you down. Ultimately, it's your decision, but you have a long time to think about it and discuss it.

Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

my neighbor walked down the aisle alone for the same reason that you said. no one can replace her dad. it was very moving, and i am not sure how she did it.

you need to do what is right for you. defintely take your time and think about it, but i would let everyone know that you are not sure what you want to do yet.

Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

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Posted by Boop2704

Have your mom and your brother both walk you down the aisle. Your dad, even though he is not physically there, will still be walking you down the aisle in spirit as well!!

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Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

i agree to have the brother and mother walk you down.....
also you could have them walk you down half way, then you could walk the other half yourself, which is symbolic to independance......

Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

I think that if you wanted to honor your father by walking down the aisle alone, then that's what you should do. I am SURE as can be that both your mother and brother would understand why. Just explain to them.

Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

I would do both or neither. Depending on where you are gettign maried , you could have your mom & brother walk you in part way ( like from the doors, to the first pews if there is a decent space) And then you could walk the rest of the way your self. Or vice versa, walk in alone & have them meet you.

Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

I had my Mom and my Brother walk me down My brother was so proud.

Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

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Posted by Boop2704

Have your mom and your brother both walk you down the aisle. Your dad, even though he is not physically there, will still be walking you down the aisle in spirit as well!!

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Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

I think you need to do what you want. I am 10000% positive your mother or brother will be honored to walk you down the aisle but if you do not want to be given away then do that. Please don't let your grandmother or mother or anyone guilt you into doing something you don't want.

Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

I think you might solve this by saying respectfully to both mom and grandma your feelings about walking down alone. Then I would ask if perhaps your brother would do the honor of walking your mom down the aisle. That way everyone is included and the things that are most important to you aren't compromised. Because, lets face it almost everything in a wedding is compromise!!!

Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

What if they both walk you down 1/2 way. Then your FI can meet you there and walk the rest of the way together.

Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

I am walking alone for that exact reason, no one will be able to replace my father (even though I didn't know him), so I would rather walk alone.

Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

my friend was in the same situation as you and she had both her mom & brother walk her down- it was very sweet & touching.

Re: sticky situation... what do you all think?

Hmmm- I was in the same situation. I already knew that I wanted my younger brother to walk me down and then my Mom came right out and asked to do it (after I asked my brother). I told her nicely that I had already asked my brother and then said that she already has most important role that day - being the MOB. Was that harsh?