Fuming, shaking, my face is red... screaming fight on phone w/ parents

Table seatings... ahhhh table seatings... brides-to-be... beware!!!!!! It is horrible!!!!!!!!!!

Long story short is FH and I do not want to sit at a "love table" so we are sitting at one table with our parents and siblings. We wanted to have some tables of friends and fam around us, a mix... we didn't want one side of the room to be in their 20's and the other side old.

WELL ALL HELL JUST BROKE LOOSE and my parents took all the "good" tables for family only, and now all our friends (including those I have known for 25 years) are going to get shoved in the back!!!!!! To me this is NOT FAIR and I got accused of being inflexible, ungrateful and few choice words!!!

I don't think I am wrong here!!!!!!!!! I am so infuriated

Re: Fuming, shaking, my face is red... screaming fight on phone w/ parents

Well, who is paying for most of your wedding? I guess that counts for something. On the other hand it is your wedding, and if you think about it, who are you most likely to party with that night, your Aunt Marie you see once a year, or your friend you see and have talked to everyday for the last 20 years. You should really talk to your family and tell them your concerns.

Re: Fuming, shaking, my face is red... screaming fight on phone w/ parents

I don't think you are wrong either. Your close friend should be closer to you than extended family members. Do you have to listen to your parents, are they paying for the wedding?

Re: Fuming, shaking, my face is red... screaming fight on phone w/ parents

We are both putting in money for the reception. To get all psychological, much of this hostility stems from the fact that my parents STILL do not 100% approve of FH and I getting married in Italy (but they will be there with us), and have turned this reception at home into our pseudo-second wedding (which it is not, and never was meant to be).

We asked them to put their guests into groups of 10 and 12, then to call us so we could go over the floor plan and discuss who is sitting where. Instead, they called us and began the convo with: THESE ARE *OUR* TABLES... X, Y, Z... etc.

That is what pisses me off the most. We called with the intent to discuss, and they called hostile and territorial!!

Re: Fuming, shaking, my face is red... screaming fight on phone w/ parents

Are you having a lot of people at your wedding? It seems your parents are just worried that because the reception is in Italy, it is a big inconvenience for your extended family. I guess they figure your family is spending all this money to attended the wedding, your parents want them to be comfortable.

Re: Fuming, shaking, my face is red... screaming fight on phone w/ parents

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Posted by AlliNMatt06

Are you having a lot of people at your wedding? It seems your parents are just worried that because the reception is in Italy, it is a big inconvenience for your extended family. I guess they figure your family is spending all this money to attended the wedding, your parents want them to be comfortable.

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Re: Fuming, shaking, my face is red... screaming fight on phone w/ parents

Oh!! Sorry I got confused. I thought Harrison House sounded familiar. Well, then your parents need to step back a little. People get to caught up in weddings, and forget it is just one day and should be a happy experience planning it.

Re: Fuming, shaking, my face is red... screaming fight on phone w/ parents

I know you want a mix of people, but from my experience at most weddings I've been to the family sits closest to the bride and groom. Friends expect to sit further away, no matter how long they've known you. Your family will be insulted if they get seated in the back. Now, if your parents are inviting friends, I'd say they should be furthest away.

Being you are both paying for it, you'll both have to compromise. Try to have a conversation with your parents without getting upset, and let them know how important these friends are to you. Maybe they'll agree to close family, then close friends, then distant family and then other friends.

Re: Fuming, shaking, my face is red... screaming fight on phone w/ parents

I am sorry that they are giving you a hard time.
I have had nightmares about this VERY thing.\

My FIL tried to tell me the same,
that he is putting the people that are not so close to us in the front and the ones that are close in the back!!!!!

Over my dead body!

ANyway, I totally sypathize with you-
take a deep breath and if all else fails take up drinking heavily ( just kidding).

Just try to keep your sanity

Re: Fuming, shaking, my face is red... screaming fight on phone w/ parents

Ugh !! - Can you try to compromise ??
Offer to keep the 'old' people FAR from the DJ/Band (which will be better for you in the long run b/c you'll have less complaints to listen to !!) ..........You could have your parents play 'host' to 'their' guests and sit w/ their family, and your FH's parents do the same which you and FH concentrate on your friends...........OR, you could just revert to the traditional brides side on one side of the room, groom's side on the other........is the problem WHO is at the tables ?? Or just WHERE the tables are ??
You could also be sneaky about it and change the seating chart before you give it to the caterer !!

Re: Fuming, shaking, my face is red... screaming fight on phone w/ parents

Don't know if this will help at all, but we were told to sit elderly folks toward the back of the room, so that they would be *behind* the speakers and better able to hear. If you have any elderly relatives, perhaps that ploy could free up some space for your friends.

Re: Fuming, shaking, my face is red... screaming fight on phone w/ parents

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Posted by shawl

Don't know if this will help at all, but we were told to sit elderly folks toward the back of the room, so that they would be *behind* the speakers and better able to hear. If you have any elderly relatives, perhaps that ploy could free up some space for your friends.

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Re: Fuming, shaking, my face is red... screaming fight on phone w/ parents

It's like we have the same parents!!!! I had the same argument with mine! Only it ended with my father calling me an ungrateful B*tch or something like that....and then him crying because he called me that......ah, the memories!

My problem was that they have a lot of friends and they wanted all of their friends to sit together, which would have forced my friends into the back of the room, so I gave them some options....we played with the sides of the room, and eventually it all worked out and everyone was happy.
But they seem to think that their friends take prority over our friends for some reason......odd!