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Re: do your parents or in laws want to keep track of the gifts that you receive?

yes both wanted to know the full run down lol

Re: do your parents or in laws want to keep track of the gifts that you receive?

I keep track of everything myself -
My mom asks me once in awhile, but she wants to be sure she's not writing a check to someone for $150, when their parents gave ME $300 you know ??
Maybe she's asking b/c she wants to be sure she doesn't look cheap and is doing at LEAST what they did your you and your husband ??

I do think it's kind of rude of her to blatantly ask the COST of things though. -

Re: do your parents or in laws want to keep track of the gifts that you receive?

My FMIL is the EXACT same way! We arent even married yet and she has already told FH that he better make sure to write on the back of peoples cards what they gave so when she has to go to their childrens weddings she gives the same amount
I told both of them NO WAY! what drama that caused! She dosent see ANYTHING wrong with it!!!
And when we baptised our son she drove us crazy bugging us about what everyone gave for weeks!!! We told her some just to shut her up but thats b/c at the time we lived with her!

Re: do your parents or in laws want to keep track of the gifts that you receive?

My parents both asked me for a list and I gave it to them! No biggie, I don't want to see them give more to someone that was cheap with us!!

Re: do your parents or in laws want to keep track of the gifts that you receive?

Absolutely ... we use FBIL's list as a guide all the time when we give gifts ... it's standard I think to give what you receive and the parents should know when to be stingy, normal or over generous.

You FMIL specifically said she didn't want to know what your family gave ... just what her family gave ... I don't think she's being unreasonable at all.

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Re: do your parents or in laws want to keep track of the gifts that you receive?

Yes it is a good idea for future reference

Re: do your parents or in laws want to know about the gifts that you receive?

I really do not see any issue with it. FH and I keep a VERY detailed list of the gifts we have received thus far. We have it in Excel so when my mom or FMIL ask for their list, we just sort it to be their people and print it out. It isn't a competition between your parents and MIL if they only want to see their own people. I know a lot of my mom's friend's kids just got engaged or married recently. My mom just wants to make sure to give a comparable gift so they or she does not seem cheap or showey by giving too much of a gift.

Our list has columns for:
Name of giver
Who's guest (fh's family, my family, or ours)
gift
How many pieces (such as 3 place settings, 4 glasses, etc.)
cost per piece
total cost of gift
date received
date thank you sent

It also has a full tally at the very end. We like to see how much we have already received!

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Re: do your parents or in laws want to know about the gifts that you receive?

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Posted by Boop2704

My parents both asked me for a list and I gave it to them! No biggie, I don't want to see them give more to someone that was cheap with us!!

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i feel the same way. i know that my mom will want to know, but i don't know about my in laws.

Re: do your parents or in laws want to know about the gifts that you receive?

I've been keeping a detailed list but it's more for my own personal refrence. FH & I are still new at gift giving for e-partys, weddings, showers & such since we are the oldest of our group of friends. My mom has never once asked us what Mr & Mrs. SO&SO gave us but she has asked if her gift to them or their child seems fair given the relatinship & event. I agree, it may not be a big deal to share the information but it would urk me that she is demanding it & wants every little detail.

Re: do your parents or in laws want to know about the gifts that you receive?

Our mom wanted to know when we got engagement packages, more in a 'ooh what's in
that box!' kinda way. . you know, the fun of opening presents.

I could see my mom asking as a refereence if she didn't know what to get somwone, & I have no problem telling her, especially anyone on her side of the family or ( ok, real honesty here) the few people we like to gossip about.

My mom & I are close though.

If my FMIL asked me, I'd tell her about anyone on her side, but I think she'd use it jsut as a reference.

If she were the type to try & out do everyone, I would tell her I forgot or something.

Re: do your parents or in laws want to know about the gifts that you receive?

Tell your MIL to check your registry if she is that interested. You don't remember how much it cost.

Re: do your parents or in laws want to know about the gifts that you receive?

Oh yes..my mother does ask...as well as my noisy aunt...sometimes it really bothers me..since I have been a child I have remembered them doing this

Re: do your parents or in laws want to know about the gifts that you receive?

Yes, my mom wants to keep track. I bet she'll want to take home the envelopes the night of the wedding too...just so 'we don't have to be bothered with it!'

Re: do your parents or in laws want to know about the gifts that you receive?

Both my mom and FMIL ask what someone gave, only when it is someone from their side. They want to make sure they give back generally in the same price range, when their friends' children get engaged, get married, etc. I think that is fine. I feel like it's the same thing with our friends...if we give X amount at a wedding, I am sure our friends will most likely give the same to us.

Re: do your parents or in laws want to know about the gifts that you receive?

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Posted by suven

My MIL is bugging me.

DH's cousin had an e-party last month. My MIL wanted to know what his parents gave us. She gave him and his fiance the same gift back.

The shower is next month. She asked me how much my comforter and sheet set cost (that is what the cousin's mom gave me)

They are getting married on Nov 7. She wants to know what their parents gave us as as wedding gift.

My mom is surprised that my MIL asked me for my 'gift list'

Anyone else?

edited to add: I do keep track of my gifts, so that I can be sure to reciprocate in kind. I just don't think it's polite for her to ask me what people gave me. She has asked about E-party, shower, and wedding gifts. She wants a list of everything that I receive.

When I first told her that I didn't feel comfortable sharing all of that info, she said, 'fine, then you don't have to tell me what YOUR family gives you. But, I still want to know what my family gives you.'

And, I always tell her that she's in a different boat. The gifts that we receive are from COUPLES, she is a widow. Also, she only has ONE child. So, if a husband and wife couple give us $100, my MIL wants to give $100 to EACH of their 5 children.

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I had the same issue. I just think it is personal info and not to be shared as if it is gossip. I am not one to do that - it goes against my grain. Therefore, I did not give a list to my MIL. Although when she is going to an event and asks me so she can reciprocate - I will let her know then - it still bothers me a little but I do understand the point so I do it. I have no clue if DH gave his family the run down of who gave what verbally.

Re: do your parents or in laws want to know about the gifts that you receive?

My MIL asked us the day after the wedding who the 'cheapo' was. She said, you know the person who gave some ridiculously low gift. Well, when I told her who it was(her co-worker she just had to have at our wedding), she made lots of excuses for the person saying oh well they have a child and on and on and on.

Needless to say, she hasn't asked me about gift amounts again.

Re: do your parents or in laws want to know about the gifts that you receive?

My MIL and DH's godmothers hosted a small reception for us in Chicago before the wedding and soon after she asked for the list of what gifts people gave. I found it pretty funny bc when I gave her the list she made some pretty funny comments about people (most of whom I didn't know) and who she was writing off.

My mom only asked about a few people, never for a list.