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Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

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randella
I'm somebody's wife???

Member since 8/04

4685 total posts

Wedding Date:
4/16/2005 7:00 PM

Wed. Location:
The Carltun

Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

I personally feel that this tipping thing is out of control- some tips I can completely get on board with.. Others, not too much.

From asking around, it is really if you feel a vendor goes above and beyond. Having said that- when do you provide these tips to these vendors? When you get home from your HM?

Posted 1/26/05 6:55 PM
 

JimmysBride
Board Princess

Member since 7/03

10135 total posts

Wedding Date:
10/9/2004 12:00 AM

Wed. Location:
SandCastle

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

Usually you tip on the day of, at the end of the night or when that particular vendor is done with their service for the day.

Some photographers, however, don't require full payment upfront (mine did) and those you can wait to tip when you pick up your proofs.

Other than that, tips are given out the day of, usually.

Posted 1/26/05 6:57 PM
 

cjb88
I'm a married lady!!!

Member since 11/04

7315 total posts

Wedding Date:
4/8/2006 6:00 PM

Wed. Location:
Hamlet Willow Creek A+++++++

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

i think it depends on the vendor... like you are probably never going to see the DJ again, so the night of... however you may feel differently about the photog since you have yet to see how your photos came out...

i used to work at a catering hall, we were much happier when we received it the night of... once in a blue moon we got tips a few weeks later, but often mangagement would take our tips and not deliver them to us!! Make sure you hand everyone's tips DIRECTLY to them!! there is a lot of shady business that goes on in the catering world...

Posted 1/26/05 6:58 PM
 

randella
I'm somebody's wife???

Member since 8/04

4685 total posts

Wedding Date:
4/16/2005 7:00 PM

Wed. Location:
The Carltun

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

I was thinking some people I would give cash.. and others I would do something else- like send a gift if I really felt like I wanted to thank them. Obligatory tipping is bullshite in my opinion-- but, if I feel like someone deserves one, then I will give them a thank you gift..

Posted 1/26/05 7:14 PM
 

FTRBRIDE
Mrs. R, Esq.

Member since 9/04

1438 total posts

Wedding Date:
9/4/2005 6:00 PM

Wed. Location:
Harrison House

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

Message edited 2/15/2005 10:24:36 AM.

Posted 1/26/05 7:18 PM
 

cjb88
I'm a married lady!!!

Member since 11/04

7315 total posts

Wedding Date:
4/8/2006 6:00 PM

Wed. Location:
Hamlet Willow Creek A+++++++

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?


Posted by FTRBRIDE


Posted by cjb88

DIRECTLY to them!! there is a lot of shady business that goes on in the catering world...



Are you saying that each individual waiter/waitress should get a separate tip? I understand that some people are shady, but there is no way I'm going to write out a gazillion different envelopes and have someone worry about all of the cash. I say give one tip for all of the wait staff to the head waiter, and leave it up to him to properly disseminate.

Sorry that you didn't get your tips though, that does suck that he was so unprofessional.



alot of times the FOB would ask one of us how many of us were working that night, and would just put the separate money into sealed envelopes... that way the manager couldn't sneak into it...

Posted 1/26/05 7:20 PM
 

randella
I'm somebody's wife???

Member since 8/04

4685 total posts

Wedding Date:
4/16/2005 7:00 PM

Wed. Location:
The Carltun

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?


Posted by FTRBRIDE


Posted by cjb88

DIRECTLY to them!! there is a lot of shady business that goes on in the catering world...



Are you saying that each individual waiter/waitress should get a separate tip? I understand that some people are shady, but there is no way I'm going to write out a gazillion different envelopes and have someone worry about all of the cash. I say give one tip for all of the wait staff to the head waiter, and leave it up to him to properly disseminate.

Sorry that you didn't get your tips though, that does suck that he was so unprofessional.



I am confused-- isn't 20% included for tipping of wait staff in your contract??

Posted 1/26/05 7:31 PM
 

FTRBRIDE
Mrs. R, Esq.

Member since 9/04

1438 total posts

Wedding Date:
9/4/2005 6:00 PM

Wed. Location:
Harrison House

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

Message edited 2/15/2005 10:24:50 AM.

Posted 1/26/05 8:32 PM
 

nylibride
Home improvement expert now...

Member since 3/04

1095 total posts

Wedding Date:
10/16/2005 3:30 PM

Wed. Location:
Carlyle on the Green

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?


Posted by randella


Posted by FTRBRIDE


Posted by cjb88

DIRECTLY to them!! there is a lot of shady business that goes on in the catering world...



Are you saying that each individual waiter/waitress should get a separate tip? I understand that some people are shady, but there is no way I'm going to write out a gazillion different envelopes and have someone worry about all of the cash. I say give one tip for all of the wait staff to the head waiter, and leave it up to him to properly disseminate.

Sorry that you didn't get your tips though, that does suck that he was so unprofessional.


I am confused-- isn't 20% included for tipping of wait staff in your contract??



Apparently in a lot of contracts, that "service charge" has nothing whatsoever to do with any tips. Craziness.

Message edited 1/26/2005 8:44:25 PM.

Posted 1/26/05 8:43 PM
 

JBKempf
A Wife & A Mom in the New Year

Member since 12/04

2021 total posts

Wedding Date:
12/31/2005 6:30 PM

Wed. Location:
Mediterranean Manor

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

Now I've mentioned this before and no one ever commented, but

Why do you have to tip your DJ/Photo/Video person??

Isn't it their job to play music, take pictures or film??

Isn't that why you are paying them x-amount of dollars each???




I JUST DON"T UNDERSTAND!!!!!!

Posted 1/26/05 8:57 PM
 

randella
I'm somebody's wife???

Member since 8/04

4685 total posts

Wedding Date:
4/16/2005 7:00 PM

Wed. Location:
The Carltun

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?


Posted by JBKempf

Now I've mentioned this before and no one ever commented, but

Why do you have to tip your DJ/Photo/Video person??

Isn't it their job to play music, take pictures or film??

Isn't that why you are paying them x-amount of dollars each???




I JUST DON"T UNDERSTAND!!!!!!



JB-- I wholeheartedly agree.. I have budget 1000 bucks for tips-- it is the Maitre De tip that is killing me-- I have heard for my venue it is 5 to 7 bucks a HEAD!!! That kills my whole tipping budget, and bascially doubles it with everyone else I "have to" tip. I just did some searches on The KNot and Wedding Channel to get a better idea of what to do.

Posted 1/26/05 9:06 PM
 

JBKempf
A Wife & A Mom in the New Year

Member since 12/04

2021 total posts

Wedding Date:
12/31/2005 6:30 PM

Wed. Location:
Mediterranean Manor

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?


Posted by randella


Posted by JBKempf

Now I've mentioned this before and no one ever commented, but

Why do you have to tip your DJ/Photo/Video person??

Isn't it their job to play music, take pictures or film??

Isn't that why you are paying them x-amount of dollars each???




I JUST DON"T UNDERSTAND!!!!!!



JB-- I wholeheartedly agree.. I have budget 1000 bucks for tips-- it is the Maitre De tip that is killing me-- I have heard for my venue it is 5 to 7 bucks a HEAD!!! That kills my whole tipping budget, and bascially doubles it with everyone else I "have to" tip. I just did some searches on The KNot and Wedding Channel to get a better idea of what to do.




$5-$7 a head??? Thats crazy!!!
With 200 people we are talking $1400 to the matire D...on top of an $18000 bill...I don't think so....service is not that good anywhere!!!!!

Posted 1/26/05 9:10 PM
 

randella
I'm somebody's wife???

Member since 8/04

4685 total posts

Wedding Date:
4/16/2005 7:00 PM

Wed. Location:
The Carltun

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?


Posted by JBKempf


$5-$7 a head??? Thats crazy!!!
With 200 people we are talking $1400 to the matire D...on top of an $18000 bill...I don't think so....service is not that good anywhere!!!!!



do not even get me started.. for what I am paying-- I cannot believe I am REQUIRED to give a certain amount.. insanity. Anyway, I am hoping my coordinator can really guide me through this.

Posted 1/26/05 9:14 PM
 

JBKempf
A Wife & A Mom in the New Year

Member since 12/04

2021 total posts

Wedding Date:
12/31/2005 6:30 PM

Wed. Location:
Mediterranean Manor

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?


Posted by randella


Posted by JBKempf


$5-$7 a head??? Thats crazy!!!
With 200 people we are talking $1400 to the matire D...on top of an $18000 bill...I don't think so....service is not that good anywhere!!!!!



do not even get me started.. for what I am paying-- I cannot believe I am REQUIRED to give a certain amount.. insanity. Anyway, I am hoping my coordinator can really guide me through this.



Randella -
It's required????

Posted 1/26/05 9:16 PM
 

randella
I'm somebody's wife???

Member since 8/04

4685 total posts

Wedding Date:
4/16/2005 7:00 PM

Wed. Location:
The Carltun

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

ok-- "suggested"

I mean, none of it is required.. but strongly recommended. I have not had the convo with my Banquet Manager- but, you know.. It's like peer pressure- you are sorta forced into it.

Posted 1/26/05 9:18 PM
 

JBKempf
A Wife & A Mom in the New Year

Member since 12/04

2021 total posts

Wedding Date:
12/31/2005 6:30 PM

Wed. Location:
Mediterranean Manor

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

What do they do if you don't leave them as much as they "recommend"?

Nothing right, since by that time the wedding is over?????

Posted 1/26/05 9:19 PM
 

randella
I'm somebody's wife???

Member since 8/04

4685 total posts

Wedding Date:
4/16/2005 7:00 PM

Wed. Location:
The Carltun

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

not a clue..

I guess it is just the right thing to do.. But some of these things I just feel are built into the price of the venue.

Posted 1/26/05 9:20 PM
 

Jen2999
What's next?!

Member since 11/04

9849 total posts

Wedding Date:
7/7/2006 4:00 PM

Wed. Location:
CHATEAU LA MER--AMAZING!

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

at chateua la mer they said right on my pricing info $300 maitre de fee....and apparently that gets split up amoung certain people...UGHHHH

Posted 1/26/05 9:29 PM
 

JBKempf
A Wife & A Mom in the New Year

Member since 12/04

2021 total posts

Wedding Date:
12/31/2005 6:30 PM

Wed. Location:
Mediterranean Manor

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

I completely agree. A DJ for any other occasion would not be $1000-2000 and up. How come our DJ for the engagement party is only $400...same company..same person??


Immediately when they hear wedding they think $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

It shouldn't be like that....if you are paying $70, 80, 90 etc dollars a head plus 20% service, plus tax..that should be enough!!!!

What does the service charge cover???????

Posted 1/26/05 9:29 PM
 

FTRBRIDE
Mrs. R, Esq.

Member since 9/04

1438 total posts

Wedding Date:
9/4/2005 6:00 PM

Wed. Location:
Harrison House

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

Message edited 2/15/2005 10:25:14 AM.

Posted 1/26/05 9:35 PM
 

JBKempf
A Wife & A Mom in the New Year

Member since 12/04

2021 total posts

Wedding Date:
12/31/2005 6:30 PM

Wed. Location:
Mediterranean Manor

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

I love how they clearly spell it out...it is not a gratituity!

Posted 1/26/05 9:39 PM
 

FTRBRIDE
Mrs. R, Esq.

Member since 9/04

1438 total posts

Wedding Date:
9/4/2005 6:00 PM

Wed. Location:
Harrison House

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?


Posted by JBKempf

I love how they clearly spell it out...it is not a gratituity!



I know right

Posted 1/26/05 9:39 PM
 

Lady Di
Board Enthusiast

Member since 9/04

183 total posts

Wedding Date:
6/24/2005 3:30 PM

Wed. Location:
North Ritz Club

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

Ok-I'm a little lost. Could someone please clue me in? I know I'm supposed to tip the maitre'd (sp?) $2-$3 per person and the bridal attendant $50-$100. Who else am I "supposed" to tip? The band? Photographers and videographers (we have 2 of each + assistant!!)? Limo drivers? Hair and makeup ppl. (they are the owners of their own business-no salon-and I did not tip them at the trial)? Also, I thought the "service charge" or maitre'd tip was what was split among the waiters...am I supposed to tip them extra, too?
How much??????
UGHHHHH...we should all be tipped so much for doing our job!!!

Posted 1/26/05 9:43 PM
 

randella
I'm somebody's wife???

Member since 8/04

4685 total posts

Wedding Date:
4/16/2005 7:00 PM

Wed. Location:
The Carltun

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

Elyssa-- I just checked my contract and it does not have any of that jargon- just that service charge is not included in my negotiated pp charge.

Posted 1/26/05 9:45 PM
 

randella
I'm somebody's wife???

Member since 8/04

4685 total posts

Wedding Date:
4/16/2005 7:00 PM

Wed. Location:
The Carltun

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?


Posted by Lady Di

Ok-I'm a little lost. Could someone please clue me in? I know I'm supposed to tip the maitre'd (sp?) $2-$3 per person and the bridal attendant $50-$100. Who else am I "supposed" to tip? The band? Photographers and videographers (we have 2 of each + assistant!!)? Limo drivers? Hair and makeup ppl. (they are the owners of their own business-no salon-and I did not tip them at the trial)? Also, I thought the "service charge" or maitre'd tip was what was split among the waiters...am I supposed to tip them extra, too?
How much??????
UGHHHHH...we should all be tipped so much for doing our job!!!



From the research I just did this is what I found out:
- Band optional (can be 20 to 25 per member)
- Photog optional (50- 100 per team)
- Hair & Make-Up- do not tip if they come to you, or if they are their own business
- Limo- only tip if grat is not included in your contract
- Bathroom attendants & valets- optional (BR- 50 cents to 1 per guest; Valet 1 per car)
- Flower Delivery- 25 bucks
- BM, Maitre De & Bridal Attendant

Posted 1/26/05 9:51 PM
 
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