Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

I love how they clearly spell it out...it is not a gratituity!

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

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Posted by JBKempf

I love how they clearly spell it out...it is not a gratituity!

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I know right

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

Ok-I'm a little lost. Could someone please clue me in? I know I'm supposed to tip the maitre'd (sp?) $2-$3 per person and the bridal attendant $50-$100. Who else am I 'supposed' to tip? The band? Photographers and videographers (we have 2 of each + assistant!!)? Limo drivers? Hair and makeup ppl. (they are the owners of their own business-no salon-and I did not tip them at the trial)? Also, I thought the 'service charge' or maitre'd tip was what was split among the waiters...am I supposed to tip them extra, too?
How much??????
UGHHHHH...we should all be tipped so much for doing our job!!!

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

Elyssa-- I just checked my contract and it does not have any of that jargon- just that service charge is not included in my negotiated pp charge.

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

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Posted by Lady Di

Ok-I'm a little lost. Could someone please clue me in? I know I'm supposed to tip the maitre'd (sp?) $2-$3 per person and the bridal attendant $50-$100. Who else am I 'supposed' to tip? The band? Photographers and videographers (we have 2 of each + assistant!!)? Limo drivers? Hair and makeup ppl. (they are the owners of their own business-no salon-and I did not tip them at the trial)? Also, I thought the 'service charge' or maitre'd tip was what was split among the waiters...am I supposed to tip them extra, too?
How much??????
UGHHHHH...we should all be tipped so much for doing our job!!!

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From the research I just did this is what I found out:
- Band optional (can be 20 to 25 per member)
- Photog optional (50- 100 per team)
- Hair & Make-Up- do not tip if they come to you, or if they are their own business
- Limo- only tip if grat is not included in your contract
- Bathroom attendants & valets- optional (BR- 50 cents to 1 per guest; Valet 1 per car)
- Flower Delivery- 25 bucks
- BM, Maitre De & Bridal Attendant

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

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Posted by randella

Elyssa-- I just checked my contract and it does not have any of that jargon- just that service charge is not included in my negotiated pp charge.

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I'd call and ask specifically what your service charge covers then, just to be certain your not double tipping anybody- you can never be too certain, and it doesn't hurt to ask. Unfortunately, my contract makes it pretty darn clear that I still have to tip everybody.

PS- that looks like a thorough list of people to tip to me. Thanks for posting that if your hairdresser comes to you you're not supposed to tip- I didn't know that.

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

My wedding hall is a little different. The contract specifically said- 15% gratuity- NOT a service charge. I asked about that and he said that would be sufficent. I also plan on giving him- 300- 200 for him and 100 for the waitstaff additional since he was so nice about it and didn't ask for anything extra.

I budgeted about 850 for tips- that is going by Randella's guidelines which I saw somewhere as well.

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

I just increased by tip budget by $1000 bucks-- I mean, 2 grand for tips??!!

Anyway- it is the maitre de that kills me.. everyone else would fit nicely under my original 1000 budget.

As for make-up.. basically- they are charging you more, so, you do not need to tip..

Anyway- I just emailed my coordinator and I am going to get the lo-down from her.

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

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Posted by cjb88

i think it depends on the vendor... like you are probably never going to see the DJ again, so the night of... however you may feel differently about the photog since you have yet to see how your photos came out...

i used to work at a catering hall, we were much happier when we received it the night of... once in a blue moon we got tips a few weeks later, but often mangagement would take our tips and not deliver them to us!! Make sure you hand everyone's tips DIRECTLY to them!! there is a lot of shady business that goes on in the catering world...

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About this, something that has always concerned me is...do we have to tip the maitre 'd and the waiter captain? I have heard stories where the maitre 'd didn't share the tips...please tell me how to do this? We will have one waiter for every table and I want happy people!

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

Thanks for the help Randi!
Diane

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

Randi,
It is totally crazy what is 'expected' --we were told that we should tip the maitre'd $600-$1400 based on 200 people --$3-$7/pp...This covers the maitre'd and captains...Then we should tip the bridal between $150-$350...Who exactly is this????
Then I am assuming I have to tip Tiffany --the girl who booked the wedding for me and of course the bathroom attendant and the valet --it is so crazy!!!!!!!! Like you said --for the amt of money we are paying there, this is just absolutely obscene...

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

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Posted by randella

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Posted by Lady Di

Ok-I'm a little lost. Could someone please clue me in? I know I'm supposed to tip the maitre'd (sp?) $2-$3 per person and the bridal attendant $50-$100. Who else am I 'supposed' to tip? The band? Photographers and videographers (we have 2 of each + assistant!!)? Limo drivers? Hair and makeup ppl. (they are the owners of their own business-no salon-and I did not tip them at the trial)? Also, I thought the 'service charge' or maitre'd tip was what was split among the waiters...am I supposed to tip them extra, too?
How much??????
UGHHHHH...we should all be tipped so much for doing our job!!!

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From the research I just did this is what I found out:
- Band optional (can be 20 to 25 per member)
- Photog optional (50- 100 per team)
- Hair & Make-Up- do not tip if they come to you, or if they are their own business
- Limo- only tip if grat is not included in your contract
- Bathroom attendants & valets- optional (BR- 50 cents to 1 per guest; Valet 1 per car)
- Flower Delivery- 25 bucks
- BM, Maitre De & Bridal Attendant

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oooooo I like this I was going to way over tip thank you for this!!!!!
my makeup we are going to her and she is the owner so I dont feel obligated to give such a huge tip but I will give her prob 25 for 3 girls. I plan on using her for other future occasions. and photo I read somewhere that you dont tip them that night but when the proofs come in is that right? wont they mess up our pics then? Im wondering??

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

Question about the BM tipping. When/how is this done since mine is not there the day of the wedding and also, how much?

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

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Posted by eogara

Question about the BM tipping. When/how is this done since mine is not there the day of the wedding and also, how much?

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good question and also what do you do if your BM went to another location and they never called you to assign you a new BM ? Im NOT going to tip a BM that didnt even call me to introduce themselves to me AND when I went there they were busy- ok understand- but when they called me were rude and saying it doesnt matter who your BM is they are not the ones who help you choose your menu or linens, etc. I was like ok- you are saving me money. And when do we meet the maitre D the day of the wedding? and who makes the judgement if they did a good job? we are going to be so busy running around we wont know how well they managed and if guest were taking care of- I guess I will let my wedding coordinator let me know but if you dont have one how do you know- you give them a good tip to find out days later your grandmother had to ask 5 times for water or the wait staff was no where to be found to get a fork that fell on the floor- you know what I mean. the horror stories you hear after the fact that you say and I gave them $$$$ amount for a tip!!! this is a tricky one. even with photos you dont know how they come out at the end of the evening what if the idiot forgets to put film in the camera or forgets to bring extra flash bulbs- ugh can you tell Im stressing

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

The amount I'm budgeting for tips is about 1K. That's a whole mess of dough, IMO!!

As a side note, I whole-heartedly agree about NOT tipping hair/makeup people if they own their own business and come to your house. I posted this a week or so ago and am surprised to find so many people tip at trials and day-of wedding. I am not.

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

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Posted by girlygrl33

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Posted by eogara

Question about the BM tipping. When/how is this done since mine is not there the day of the wedding and also, how much?

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good question and also what do you do if your BM went to another location and they never called you to assign you a new BM ? Im NOT going to tip a BM that didnt even call me to introduce themselves to me AND when I went there they were busy- ok understand- but when they called me were rude and saying it doesnt matter who your BM is they are not the ones who help you choose your menu or linens, etc. I was like ok- you are saving me money. And when do we meet the maitre D the day of the wedding? and who makes the judgement if they did a good job? we are going to be so busy running around we wont know how well they managed and if guest were taking care of- I guess I will let my wedding coordinator let me know but if you dont have one how do you know- you give them a good tip to find out days later your grandmother had to ask 5 times for water or the wait staff was no where to be found to get a fork that fell on the floor- you know what I mean. the horror stories you hear after the fact that you say and I gave them $$$$ amount for a tip!!! this is a tricky one. even with photos you dont know how they come out at the end of the evening what if the idiot forgets to put film in the camera or forgets to bring extra flash bulbs- ugh can you tell Im stressing

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Sure you are stressing....having nightmares too?
You are absolutely right about it. You really do not know how the service to your guests were until after the fact. But this is what I am doing and I'm going to let my Maitre'D know. I will have a few guests that I can trust on different tables to let me know how the service was for them and tip accordingly. I think you can also get a feel for this as you go around the room. I read a post by someone (sorry I can't think of your username) that they have a suggested or required tip. I think you should tip what you deem appropriately and not what any vendor/caterers tells you to. I tell you...you mention the word wedding and right of way...it's like $$$$$$$

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

THIS IS SOOOOOOO STRESSFUL!!!!!!

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

OMG...I can't believe I have to figure out a 'tip budget.' And I've heard traditionally, the best man is in charge of handing the tips out? Is that the case? B/c if it is, I will surely be going non-traditional with that...I can't imagine our best man with all of that cash and distributing it correctly! :)

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

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Posted by suebride

Randi,
It is totally crazy what is 'expected' --we were told that we should tip the maitre'd $600-$1400 based on 200 people --$3-$7/pp...This covers the maitre'd and captains...Then we should tip the bridal between $150-$350...Who exactly is this????
Then I am assuming I have to tip Tiffany --the girl who booked the wedding for me and of course the bathroom attendant and the valet --it is so crazy!!!!!!!! Like you said --for the amt of money we are paying there, this is just absolutely obscene...

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Sue-- interesting-- I never got tipping #s from Sheila.. what do you tip the BM??


We figured we would give Terrance $5 a head. Corina told me I am going to want to give him thousands of dollars cause he is so awesome.. She hated her attedant when she got married there.. So, I guess that all depends- good to know the range though for that person.

Re: Tips-- Wedding Day or After the Fact?

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Posted by CJStein

OMG...I can't believe I have to figure out a 'tip budget.' And I've heard traditionally, the best man is in charge of handing the tips out? Is that the case? B/c if it is, I will surely be going non-traditional with that...I can't imagine our best man with all of that cash and distributing it correctly! :)

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You would prepare envelopes a head of time- your Best man would jusy hand the envelopes to the appropriate person.