kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

OK, Well, I thought that FH and I put the "kids at the wedding issue" behind us. We had decided that, even though many people are coming from out of town, that we would have no kids at the wedding except the children in the wedding party (five). Well, FH has two men in his party that have small children. One has already decided he is keeping his kids at home, the other one sincerely asked my FH if he could bring his six year old. This is one of his longest and best friends, but he told him no since we had made the "wedding party" only decision.




Please let me know what you think:
SORRY SOO LONG... HERE IS THE POLL.......

Message edited 2/5/2005 10:28:50 PM.

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

Oh hun, I had the same trouble recently and havent sent invitations out yet, so Im sure it will get worse. But you know what.. I work in a school. I need to get away LOL This is your wedding.

I am ONLY having children in the bridal party and thats it! If they dont like it - they dont have to come... less $$ for me anyway LOL ha ha ha!

If you want, one thing you could do it find a babysitter and see if they will take all of the children who are not invited.. Some halls offer that (daycare) - at least my cousins in Florida did. That way especially if they are coming in from out of town and dont know anyone - they will have a babysitter that you trust and know... Just a suggestion, but stick to your guns!! I am!

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

I am a teacher too!!! Calgon, take me away!
ha.
that is my problem in public, I am used to telling the children how to behave in my classroom, I have to hold back from telling kids "no running" when I am in public! ha.

I emailed your response to my FH so he knows that one person is on our side! (he is a teacher too!)Thanks

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

My family and I dicuss this issue on a regular basis and I am not bugging no kids except those in the bridal party

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

OH NO, ONLY children that are IN the BP are invited. THis is an adult affair and a wedding, much different than any other party or celebration. People just have to understand that.
I am having the 5 kids in the wedding party who are range 3-8 and then only 2 other little ones who are 7 & 8. and thats only b/c they are our the best mans daughters and FH cousin and they live in maryland( entire family at wedding so no babysitter) so I made them part of the church to hand out programs and the crypacks. but all others including children of the BP NO out of the question, and you know what they were glad they want to have fun not watch their kids allnight. I would die if I had kids running around in pjs bright pink at my wedding. thank god these kids are very very shy and Im keeping their table very occupied with games and things they have to do like camera's with a scavenger hunt- the 12 yrs old will help them all young ones are at 1 table. only having 12 that are 16 and under including the BP children the others are 12 to 16.
And dont let anyone tell you they cant believe youre not having kids- are they paying for your wedding? and who cares let them talk about your wedding. Im sure others agree they wouldnt want kids there, they are probably just not speaking up. when it comes to their wedding well see. and DONT be upset either Im sooooooooo happy with my decision and like Amy said if they dont like then dont come. I know it sounds harsh but your the Bride and its what YOU say. good luck and let us know how it turns out.
Janice

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

I only had my niece and nephew (who were in the brdial party) at my wedding. And, they were 12 and 14.

Everyone with small kids pretty much figured out that they weren't going to be able to bring their kids.

But, it was people with kids in 8-14 range that gave us grief.

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

Seems liek you've tried to be helpful...expalining your situation, aranging for babysitting...

We're only having BP children at our wedding...this way there are no pink PJs but also parents can enjoy themselves...I know, however, in different parts of country, and even in upstate ny (whre weddigns are less formal) kids are invited...but then again this isn't upstate new york!

I'm a teacher too...and i say stick to your guns..children (and parents) need limits...and shouldn't be able to bully anyone into doing something they don't want to do...

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

My question to you is this...when you asked people to de in your bridal party, did you let them know in advance that their children would not be invited?

My feelings are this...if I spent so much time and energy helping you with your wedding and you asked me because you wanted me to be there, and then all of a sudden I cannot bring my kids, I would be upset. These are not simple guests, but people you have asked to partcipate in this amazing day. It would be a dishonor to say "oh we want you to be there but not your kids". I mean really.

I am like trying to convince people to bring their kids to our wedding. We have been to a few that had kids and there was no misbehaving.

The whole, no kids at weddings leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Message edited 1/30/2005 8:57:16 AM.

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

We didn't invite kids and there are many many little children in my family. Everyone understood. I wanted an elegant affair and (JMO) I felt that the "no kids" policy was the best for what we wanted. Our Fg and RB did not even go to the reception. Their parents did not want them to. I hate seeing kids running all over the place. JMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

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Posted by CubanBride

My question to you is this...when you asked people to de in your bridal party, did you let them know in advance that their children would not be invited?

My feelings are this...if I spent so much time and energy helping you with your wedding and you asked me because you wanted me to be there, and then all of a sudden I cannot bring my kids, I would be upset. These are not simple guests, but people you have asked to partcipate in this amazing day. It would be a dishonor to say "oh we want you to be there but not your kids". I mean really.

I am like trying to convince people to bring their kids to our wedding. We have been to a few that had kids and there was no misbehaving.

The whole, no kids at weddings leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

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Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

What if you hired the babysitter to hang out with the kids in the hall. Like in a separate room. You can bring portable DVD player and kids movies, games, coloring books etc. That way they can come to the wedding. Participate in fun group dances but go to the room when they get nuts.

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

For me, the people in my bridal party were very special to me and it was of the utmost importance to me that I made it as easy as possible for them to be in my wedding party.

I felt that, since they were spending so much money and taking so much time out of their lives for me, the least I could do was try to make things easier for them, not harder.

Our BM and one of my BMs are married and have 2 kids. She was debating having her mom stay home with the kids. I offered to hire a sitter at the reception for them if they wanted. I told her that she could whatever she wanted regarding the kids. Another one of my BMs had 2 kids and I knew it was going to be tough for her especially being a single mom, so I put both kids in the BP and that made things easier for her too.

Then I had a FG whose parents were coming from Florida with their 3 other kids... I invited those kids also.

I had one other BM with a child also and gave her the same options but she decided not to bring her son.

There are lots of other kids in our family and I know I probably offended some people because our general policy was no children. But for the members of our BP who dedicated so much time and money to us -- I made huge exceptions.

And the kids were all very well behaved all day and at the reception, btw.

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

i didnt vote....this is what i am doing...i am inviting the kids in the wedding party, and all of my cousins....but no one else....

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

im having a sat night wedding... only inviting my 7 little cousins who are in the BP... but truthfully, there is no way their moms will let them stay up that late for the entire reception... we will have a babysitter in the bridal suite to watch them... they will be out for the first few dances, then off to bed they go...

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

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Posted by JacnRob729

i didnt vote....this is what i am doing...i am inviting the kids in the wedding party, and all of my cousins....but no one else....

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Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

First, thank you all for your responses!

To Cubanbride- The only child in question is one of my FH men's child, and he did tell him when he asked him to be in the wedding that we weren't going to have children there, except in the bridal party.. so no big surprises!

what I am going to try to do this week is see if Westbury Manor will allow me to rent out on of their smaller rooms and put someone in there to look after the children, yet the parents are welcome to go in and out to check on their kids. I was going to have someone at a hotel originally, but I know it may be hard for the guests to leave their child with someone they don't personally know- it may be easier though if that person and their child are in the same building. But, I am not sure this is something WM would do, but I will find out this week.

The only thing I was worried about having the kids in the same building is that they will not want to stay in a seperate room away from their parents and might end up in the reception anyway, which would defeat the purpose. But, if I play movies in there on a DVD player like someone suggested, it would keep them occupied- and the reception is so late anyway that maybe they will all just fall asleep!

thank you all again for your advice!! I always know I can count on you girls!

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

Can you get someone to watch the children at the reception hall??

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

We're inviting 10 people under 18. However, the younger kids are limited to twin 7 year olds (may be flower girls), an infant (who is unusually quiet all the time?) and a fidgety 2 year old. The other kids are old enough to know how to be have. My only real concern is the 4 young children but they will be invited.

Nobody else on my list has young children excluding significant others/guests who I assume would not dare bring their kids.

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

NO KIDS

Both of my sisters have kids and they are not coming.

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

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Posted by tinkerwdw
what I am going to try to do this week is see if Westbury Manor will allow me to rent out on of their smaller rooms and put someone in there to look after the children, yet the parents are welcome to go in and out to check on their kids. I was going to have someone at a hotel originally, but I know it may be hard for the guests to leave their child with someone they don't personally know- it may be easier though if that person and their child are in the same building. But, I am not sure this is something WM would do, but I will find out this week.

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Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

Initially, the only kids we were having at the reception were neices and nephews. (they ranged from 3 to 18 yrs old)

One of the groomsmen lives in Boston w/his wife and 2 girls. He asked DH if his wife could bring the girls to the reception (no family at home to babysit), although he perfectly understood if we said no. They'd just stay at the hotel. To DH's credit he asked me about it before answering. I said I couldn't live w/myself if I knew they were sitting in a hotel room 3 miles away.

Granted, the hall had a small side room, where the smaller kids could wander and play, and an adult was ALWAYS present. Actually, I think the kids had a better time out there than inside the main dining room.

I did have major concerns about this before the weding, but everything turned out great. The kids were well behaved and everyone had a fun time.

I have been to some weddings where the kids just ran all over the place and the parents did nothing!!! They were just concerned about themselves having a good time. I think everything starts with the parents. They're responsible for their own kids, and they should have the courtesy to respect the bride and groom and keep some control over their children.

Good luck,
Donna
10/5/03

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

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Posted by tinkerwdw

OK, Well, I thought that FH and I put the "kids at the wedding issue" behind us. We had decided that, even though many people are coming from out of town, that we would have no kids at the wedding except the children in the wedding party (five). Well, FH has two men in his party that have small children. One has already decided he is keeping his kids at home, the other one sincerely asked my FH if he could bring his six year old. This is one of his longest and best friends, but he told him no since we had made the "wedding party" only decision.


Well, last night we attended a wedding where the kids were rolling around on the floor, running around in PJS!!!! Bright pink with footies! And all the kids were chasing each other like it was a day care. It made me second guess having any kids at all, but then my future brother-in-law says" I have been talking to a lot of people (why he is talking about our wedding to other people urked me in the first place) about your wedding, and they can't believe that you are not allowing people in the wedding party to bring their kids... if that was me, I wouldn't leave my kid with a stranger (we are arrainging for a babysitter if people need it.)


Well, that left a bad taste in my mouth, and had me worrying about this whole issue once more! Am I a bad person for not inviting the kids of the people in the wedding party? Or is kids IN the wedding party just invited ok?

Please let me know what you think:
SORRY SOO LONG... HERE IS THE POLL.......

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Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

Here is my question, we didn't have kids in the wedding party because I didn't feel it was right. I didn't want kids at my weddings so how can I say, well if you are in the wedding party then it's ok if you are a kid and there so I opted for no kids in the wedding party PERIOD. Now on the kids at the wedding issue I lost. We had 11 at our wedding. The youngest was 7 they were all DH's nieces and nephews and my 1 first cousin that is still little. Do I regret only in one respect (the little one was my shadow ALL night so she is in every picture) the rest of them nope they were wonderful! But how do you reconcile having kids in the wedding party when you don't want kids in your wedding?? I am just curious.

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

I had no children at all - not in the wedding party either and let me tell you it started a world of hell for me - Stick to your guns - its your day not theirs....

Re: kids at wedding drama continues- PLEASE TAKE MY POLL!! PRETTY PLEASE!~

I wanted no children under the age of 8 at my wedding. My husband fought me tooth and nail to have his nieces and nephews invited. They ranged from the ages of 5 weeks to 3 years of age!! I was stupid I lost!! Well needles to say none of the parents watched them. Several times during dinner they were running all over the place! My husband had to say something numerous times. The thing that really got me angry is my sister-in-law that insisted on bringing the 5 week old baby took over my bridal room! Everytime I went in there to use the bathroom or re-touch my make up she was giving me dirty looks. Like I was interupting her!! I was so pissed!
Needles to say now my husband regrets inviting them.