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NWR: (kinda) Co worker drama

dita531 Posted: Apr 11, 2005 06:38 PM+

dita531 MEMBER SINCE: 2/04 TOTAL POSTS : 2362 WEDDING DATE: Jan 01, 2002

Posted: Apr 11, 2005 06:38 PM

NWR: (kinda) Co worker drama

gNi1125 Posted: Apr 11, 2005 06:41 PM+

gNi1125 MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 6238 WEDDING DATE: Jun 04, 2006

Posted: Apr 11, 2005 06:41 PM

Re: NWR: (kinda) Co worker drama

I'd say talk to him first....if that doesn't work... talk to your boss and then I'd uninvite him. Sorry he's being a jerk!

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Apr 11, 2005 06:47 PM+

Mrs. dleeny MEMBER SINCE: 3/05 TOTAL POSTS : 12387 WEDDING DATE: Nov 06, 2005

Posted: Apr 11, 2005 06:47 PM

Re: NWR: (kinda) Co worker drama

Wow, tough situation.

here is my opinion.

1. I would absolutely report him to HR or your boss. That kind of treatment is abusive and completely unacceptable!

2. Once that has been done, I would get up the courage to tell him to his face (make sure you're not alone) that you are very sorry, but due to recent event you don't want him to come to the wedding.

I hope you don't think I am being harsh, but this is YOUR DAY!!!!! you've been planning and dreaming about it for how long now?? you don't want someone like that being around for the best day of your life. I know I wouldn't!

micmar Posted: Apr 11, 2005 07:23 PM+

micmar MEMBER SINCE: 12/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1497 WEDDING DATE: Sep 24, 2005

Posted: Apr 11, 2005 07:23 PM

Re: NWR: (kinda) Co worker drama

speak to him first; if no success, then go to the boss. as far as the wedding, if nothing gets resolved, tell him you'd rather him not attend...

DrBeLLaRoSe Posted: Apr 11, 2005 10:22 PM+

DrBeLLaRoSe MEMBER SINCE: 2/05 TOTAL POSTS : 997 WEDDING DATE: Jan 01, 2011

Posted: Apr 11, 2005 10:22 PM

Re: NWR: (kinda) Co worker drama

i would speak to him first.

dita531 Posted: Apr 11, 2005 10:37 PM+

dita531 MEMBER SINCE: 2/04 TOTAL POSTS : 2362 WEDDING DATE: Jan 01, 2002

Posted: Apr 11, 2005 10:37 PM

Re: NWR: (kinda) Co worker drama

Thank you ladies.

gNi1125 Posted: Apr 11, 2005 10:39 PM+

gNi1125 MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 6238 WEDDING DATE: Jun 04, 2006

Posted: Apr 11, 2005 10:39 PM

Re: NWR: (kinda) Co worker drama

Good luck hope everything works out

lishbone Posted: Apr 12, 2005 07:53 AM+

lishbone MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 1299 WEDDING DATE: Oct 09, 2005

Posted: Apr 12, 2005 07:53 AM

Re: NWR: (kinda) Co worker drama

wow!! scr#w him maryann!! first of all he invited himself to the wedding??!!!! anyway what he did was very unprofessional and rude..even if you messed up or not you DONT talk to someone like that and humiliate them in front of everyone..have you talked to him about this before? if you have then go to the boss..you dont need this crap....then tell him he is uninvited to the wedding..!!! he invited himself anyway...sorry to hear you had a bad day

brooklynbridezilla Posted: Apr 12, 2005 08:47 AM+

brooklynbridezilla MEMBER SINCE: 4/04 TOTAL POSTS : 6649 WEDDING DATE: Jan 01, 1995

Posted: Apr 12, 2005 08:47 AM

Re: NWR: (kinda) Co worker drama

Posted by dleeny

Wow, tough situation.

here is my opinion.

1. I would absolutely report him to HR or your boss. That kind of treatment is abusive and completely unacceptable!

2. Once that has been done, I would get up the courage to tell him to his face (make sure you're not alone) that you are very sorry, but due to recent event you don't want him to come to the wedding.

I hope you don't think I am being harsh, but this is YOUR DAY!!!!! you've been planning and dreaming about it for how long now?? you don't want someone like that being around for the best day of your life. I know I wouldn't!

Agreed!!!! Let us kow how it goes!

boobobunny Posted: Apr 12, 2005 09:05 AM+

boobobunny MEMBER SINCE: 3/05 TOTAL POSTS : 1595 WEDDING DATE: Aug 19, 2005

Posted: Apr 12, 2005 09:05 AM

Re: NWR: (kinda) Co worker drama

I would definatly go to your boss....especially since he has done this to once before and to other co workers in the past...if you don't go to the boss he will get away with this type of behavior over and over again.

I would also tell him that you thinks its best that he not attend your wedding...being that he so little respect for you that he would yell at you in front of the whole office.

Blu-ize Posted: Apr 12, 2005 09:22 AM+

Blu-ize MEMBER SINCE: 8/04 TOTAL POSTS : 8304 WEDDING DATE: Feb 28, 1998

Posted: Apr 12, 2005 09:22 AM

Re: NWR: (kinda) Co worker drama

This is way bigger than your wedding. Before you get crazy at me just read:

He is abusive and probably is in his personal life too.

What he did is harassment (illegal and he can be prosecuted)

You will not under any circumstance work under those conditions and shouldn't have to.

Go to your boss and HR and make a formal complaint. You need protection from him and his outbursts. It's affecting your performance and your state of mind.

I would NOT confront him! Do you want more abuse? And before you tell me he calms down and apologizes, that is the biggest sign that he is an abuser. Don't get sucked into that.

Recind the invitation to your wedding stating that you don't feel it's necessary to have him there. (He knows why).

He needs anger management classes and in a hurry.

ChrissynRicky Posted: Apr 12, 2005 10:13 AM+

ChrissynRicky MEMBER SINCE: 2/05 TOTAL POSTS : 14639 WEDDING DATE: Apr 30, 2006

Posted: Apr 12, 2005 10:13 AM

Re: NWR: (kinda) Co worker drama

Okay, from an HR perspective, the wedding invite has nothing to do with what happened at work...so....
1) Yes, go speak to your boss, and see what tyep of a reaction you get. Your boss should (MUST) address the situation, and if they don't you can go to HR and put in a complaint....there's no reason anyone should be speaking to you like that at work....

2) In regards to the wedding - has he RSVP'd yet? If he has, there's nothing you can really do about it. If he hasn't RSVP'd, when he calls tell him that you overbooked, and have absolutely no room.

Katy06 Posted: Apr 12, 2005 10:21 AM+

Katy06 MEMBER SINCE: 4/05 TOTAL POSTS : 25 WEDDING DATE: Apr 02, 2006

Posted: Apr 12, 2005 10:21 AM

Re: NWR: (kinda) Co worker drama

I disagree with the above post.

Definitely uninvite him to the wedding. It's certainly never too late to uninvite him or anyone else who doesnt belong there, makes you uncomfortable or could make a scene etc. Its your wedding, your party. HR doesnt have to get involved ofcourse it is a personal situation but you have every right not to not have him there. BUt if he gets worse after you uninvite him then definitely get HR involved, no one can force you to invite them to your wedding and they can certainly not retailiate because you didnt invite him! If he is above you its even worse(for him)

Its perfectly acceptable to take back an invitation, its been done before and this is certainly a good reason to do so. I also think its a good idea that someone is there with you. And id mention that 'You and your Fiance' feel that you need to uninvite him, just so he knows you arent alone in the decision.

Good luck.

QueensBride Posted: Apr 12, 2005 10:54 AM+

QueensBride MEMBER SINCE: 8/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1014 WEDDING DATE: Oct 01, 2005

Posted: Apr 12, 2005 10:54 AM