Re: Personal-Housing situation

Hi. I just wanted to say you're really brave for posting this, and I see you're doing a lot to improve the situation.

I think the most simple and important thing is to get FH to talk to you about money. If you're going to be married you need to know. you need to know exactyl how much money he has and how much he's willing to give you.

If yure going for your masters, that means you have a Bachelor's..is there not a better job you can get? I know a lot of people making 50-70K right out of college. Maybe you can look for a better job, maybe you FH can get a PT job while he looks for a better paying FT job.

I want to say that i COMPLETELY understand your need and desire to have a party to celebrate your wedding. I really do. I'm going through a lot right now (not as much as you are probably, but..), and all common sense would tell me to not have a big wedidng, or postpone it etc, but with all of the sad things my family is going through, we just NEED a happy thing right now, we NEED a party of some kind.

You said your FH has at leasta s much $$ saved you do, right? So let's say for arguments sake you each have $10K.

What if he used his $10K to pay for an apartment for a year (you may be able to prepay a lease and save $$)...I know ther are aparttns out there for less than $1000. Then you have an apartment for a year, you're safe, you know where you're living and THEN, you can spent a percentage of your $10K on the wedding. If you have it at a KoC and limit the number of people, maybe you can do it for under $5K and have the rest left over to start buying a few things for your apt.

So what I'm saying is, use his $10K for an apt, use part of your $10K for the wedding.

Also, where are you going to grad school? A lot of programs offer married or family housing, so you can move into a college apt with your family and that may be more affordable than an outside apt.

Best of luck. let me know if there's any way I can help

Re: Personal-Housing situation

We are financially strained ourselves, but if it came down to it and we had a choice of living in a shelter or having a wedding...I would scrap the idea of a wedding...tempoarily. 1st priority should be a home...especially if you have a child. Then, being that you are getting your masters and obviously will probably get into a higher paying job later, later on...when you are on your feet have a wedding. I understand everyone needs "good things" in your life, but if your situation is that dire you have no choice but to put the wedding on hold. All in all it is just a party...it can wait. I am curious...you said you are in your masters now? Yet, you were able to bank away $10000? How? Masters programs are all loans...no other aid. Even if you went to an inexpensive school (like SUNY/CUNY) they will only offer you in loan a percentage over your tuition bill. For example if your bill is only $2000, you can only take out an additional $1000 over your bill. If you do have $10,000 in the bank you should use it to get on your feet, not finance a wedding. JMO. I wish you luck though.

Re: Personal-Housing situation

Not for nothing...but you live in a shelter with a child no less...why are you even thinking about a wedding????
Don't you feel ashamed that you're worried about how you're going to have a wedding when you can't even afford to get a place of your own...

Why don't you think about getting back on your feet and getting situated in your life AND then think about a wedding...

Like someone else said...I'll go to work and bust my butt so people like you can live in a shelter, work on getting their master's degree at the same time and worry about how they are going to afford their
wedding...

FH & I both work, we have no one handing us money for anything wedding related, we don't have a house and I am also in school working on my degree...so I'm not going to feel sorry that you have $10,000 saved up and can't have a house and a wedding at the same time...sorry jmo

Re: Personal-Housing situation

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Posted by arosa

See this is what I did not want to happen. It's not a joke. And for this to be thought of as a joke hurts my feeling. Let me tell you, my reception will probably cost about $5000. That does not even pay for 5 months of rent in Brooklyn. We looked for apartments- 1 bedrooms. We went to see them and we were not "chosen" for them.

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Re: Personal-Housing situation

Sassyz75
And quote frankly, as a tax payer, it pisses me off that you have $10k to throw a party but can't use that to put a roof over your head.

Re: Personal-Housing situation

Ok, now I'm REALLY confused. You either have $10K saved or it's for school..which is it?

And you bought TWO dresses already, W T F?

There'a an apartment on my block for $750/mo!!!!!!

I really got upset wth everyone for flaming you and passing judgement, but now I'm trying to add it all up in my head. I'm thinking about how neither one of me ofr FH can fford to gt our master's for several years..and he makes a lot of money.

I'm starting to think there's something I'm really missing here.

If I didn't have to pay rent, I'd be able to go to grad school too!! And if you have a bachelor's, you are capable of making enough $$ to pay rent!!!!! even if your $5K will only get you 5 months, in that 5 months you'll be working to pay rent for the next 5 months.

I'm with you ladies..this is getting bizairre.

but if you DO have $20K in the bank betweenm you and FH, GET AN APARTMENT. let your child grow up in a real home..if you hve monley left, then throw the party, like I said earlier, but with that kind of $$, there's NO reason to be living in a shelter..and if you DON'T have the $$ and you DO need to be in a shelter, then a wedding party is NOT your first priorityt, much less TWO gowns?

I really don't want to judge, like I said I know why you want a aprty, and I think if you DO have $20K, go ahead and have a small wedding, but for god's sake get your son the hell out of the homeless shelter

Re: Personal-Housing situation

Hello, if this is accurate, I truly hope things work out for you.
However, there are a few things I (most of us) are confussed about.
You had mentioned that you make too much for financial aid, or something like that. So you got loans.
But my question is: If you make too much for that, wouldn't you make too much then to live in a shelter? I thought homeless shelters are for people who have no money. How could they allow you to live in a shelter with money in the bank (at least 10K but probably more)?
Isn't there a family memebr that you can live with for a little bit?
I don't want to knock shelter life, I have a few students who live in them, but if you have the funds to get out, then why don't you? Especially with a baby. I don't want to pass judgement because I don't know the whole situation, I don't live in your shoes, but JMO of course, if I were you, I would put this wedding on hold, pool together my funds, and find a place to live.
I also would not be buying things for a wedding, I would be buying for my child. If you really want a great wedding, then wait until you can afford it so then you can really enjoy it.
I hope things work out for you and your family.
Good Luck

Re: Personal-Housing situation

I had written a long response to this, but I was just getting more and more annoyed as I put words together. Anyone who applauds you should check out your post history on here.

I spent yesterday at an awards ceremony for Safe Horizons, honoring women who have done everything in their power to provide a safe environment for their children. Some women went without food and walked miles to a menial job to save money and provide for their kids. How dare you put your child in the situation you are in now when you quite obviously have the means to improve your circumstances.

Re: Personal-Housing situation

I took the advise of others and searched for some of your previous posts...

1. Parasols for your outdoor wedding?....hmmm

2. Where are you typing away on this computer?... According to one of your posts you were installing spyware...I've never seen anyone do that on a public computer!

3. This is one of my favorite posts... AND I QUOTE:
"Hey mama!! Ok, I would say yes if it is reasonable. I love cosmos and apple martinis are great. People will definetly remember that. I would rememebr that. I am a lush too. Your wedding sounds like so much fun!!! Shlt, I wish I were going!! Have the bar!! That is people drink the most in my opinion. Keep the lines to a minimum."

4. Lets not forget two seperate dresses!

5. I love the link to your knot bio... hmm...where did you try on that dress in your photo? In the shelter? I didn't know a shelter had radios, trophies, and to quote again: "My gold comb which I loved and probably paid too much for on Ebay, but I could not stop bidding on it cuz I thought it would go perfect with my dress."

Why would you post something like this?

Like many other LIW Brides said "Where is your priorities?"

ETA: 6. (Quoting again from LIW post...)
"Question:
How did you make them? They came out beautiful. I would love to have them as asecond favor for the wedding." WOW - TWO FAVORS????!!!! How about making a donation to the shelter you're living at?!?!?!!?

7. "Love Family Business. I think it is so funny. Cousin Stevie (Ihtink that is his name) is hilarious. Is there a new season. MOm decided to take out Showtime. When I get cble I am so getting Showtime. I hate where I live." Sounds like your living at home with Mom...not at a shelter?...

8. "If I had the internet where I live, I would so be on when I go home. Unfortunately, I thought I was slick and boguhta laptop and thought I could catch the signal of a job center nearby. Sike!! I can barely get a bar. When I do, nothing. That is why I procrastinating. I need to go home!!" - Laptop too!...WOW!

Message edited 5/11/2005 2:01:05 PM.

Re: Personal-Housing situation

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Posted by IrishBride-05

I had written a long response to this, but I was just getting more and more annoyed as I put words together. Anyone who applauds you should check out your post history on here.

I spent yesterday at an awards ceremony for Safe Horizons, honoring women who have done everything in their power to provide a safe environment for their children. Some women went without food and walked miles to a menial job to save money and provide for their kids. How dare you put your child in the situation you are in now when you quite obviously have the means to improve your circumstances.

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Re: Personal-Housing situation

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Posted by 103005FallBride

I took the advise of others and searched for some of your previous posts...

1. Parasols for your outdoor wedding?....hmmm

2. Where are you typing away on this computer?... According to one of your posts you were installing spyware...I've never seen anyone do that on a public computer!

3. This is one of my favorite posts... AND I QUOTE:
"Hey mama!! Ok, I would say yes if it is reasonable. I love cosmos and apple martinis are great. People will definetly remember that. I would rememebr that. I am a lush too. Your wedding sounds like so much fun!!! Shlt, I wish I were going!! Have the bar!! That is people drink the most in my opinion. Keep the lines to a minimum."

4. Lets not forget two seperate dresses!

5. I love the link to your knot bio... hmm...where did you try on that dress in your photo? In the shelter? I didn't know a shelter had radios, trophies, and to quote again: "My gold comb which I loved and probably paid too much for on Ebay, but I could not stop bidding on it cuz I thought it would go perfect with my dress."

Why would you post something like this?

Like many other LIW Brides said "Where is your priorities?"

ETA: 6. (Quoting again from LIW post...)
"Question:
How did you make them? They came out beautiful. I would love to have them as asecond favor for the wedding." WOW - TWO FAVORS????!!!! How about making a donation to the shelter you're living at?!?!?!!?

7. "Love Family Business. I think it is so funny. Cousin Stevie (Ihtink that is his name) is hilarious. Is there a new season. MOm decided to take out Showtime. When I get cble I am so getting Showtime. I hate where I live." Sounds like your living at home with Mom...not at a shelter?...

8. "If I had the internet where I live, I would so be on when I go home. Unfortunately, I thought I was slick and boguhta laptop and thought I could catch the signal of a job center nearby. Sike!! I can barely get a bar. When I do, nothing. That is why I procrastinating. I need to go home!!" - Laptop too!...WOW!

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Re: Personal-Housing situation

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Posted by 103005FallBride

I took the advise of others and searched for some of your previous posts...

1. Parasols for your outdoor wedding?....hmmm

2. Where are you typing away on this computer?... According to one of your posts you were installing spyware...I've never seen anyone do that on a public computer!

3. This is one of my favorite posts... AND I QUOTE:
"Hey mama!! Ok, I would say yes if it is reasonable. I love cosmos and apple martinis are great. People will definetly remember that. I would rememebr that. I am a lush too. Your wedding sounds like so much fun!!! Shlt, I wish I were going!! Have the bar!! That is people drink the most in my opinion. Keep the lines to a minimum."

4. Lets not forget two seperate dresses!

5. I love the link to your knot bio... hmm...where did you try on that dress in your photo? In the shelter? I didn't know a shelter had radios, trophies, and to quote again: "My gold comb which I loved and probably paid too much for on Ebay, but I could not stop bidding on it cuz I thought it would go perfect with my dress."

Why would you post something like this?

Like many other LIW Brides said "Where is your priorities?"

ETA: 6. (Quoting again from LIW post...)
"Question:
How did you make them? They came out beautiful. I would love to have them as asecond favor for the wedding." WOW - TWO FAVORS????!!!! How about making a donation to the shelter you're living at?!?!?!!?

7. "Love Family Business. I think it is so funny. Cousin Stevie (Ihtink that is his name) is hilarious. Is there a new season. MOm decided to take out Showtime. When I get cble I am so getting Showtime. I hate where I live." Sounds like your living at home with Mom...not at a shelter?...

8. "If I had the internet where I live, I would so be on when I go home. Unfortunately, I thought I was slick and boguhta laptop and thought I could catch the signal of a job center nearby. Sike!! I can barely get a bar. When I do, nothing. That is why I procrastinating. I need to go home!!" - Laptop too!...WOW!

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Re: Personal-Housing situation

I was not going to post but i just need to say this
i am sorry about what you are dealing with right now . im sure it is hard.

but this whole thing has my head spinning right now. if you have money in an account DO NOT USE that to have a wedding. use it for what is more important in your life right now YOUR CHILD. the thought of you even thinking about taking half of what you have to have a wedding is just crazy to me...
don't you want your child to have a roof over his/her head and give your child the life he needs. maybe it was just the way i was raised but once you have a kid there is nothing that comes before that childs life. NOT EVEN A WEDDING. .

i do understand that you want a wedding
it is every girls dream. but put things 1st that need to be there.
if you can not afford things you do not get them. and in your case you can not afford it.
work on getting your self out of the shelter and giving your child the things your child need. take that money and use it for things you need. you do not need a wedding.


tax payers pay for these things and knowing that someone like you who needs OUR help has money and is going to blow it on something that is NOT NEEDED drive me crazy .. im sorry JMO

Re: Personal-Housing situation

This entire situation is sad...from beginning to end...
Families that are in shelters have no money and cant afford NOTHING. Being in a shelter is the last alternative...You may not realize this,,but you are preventing a person who REALLY needs to be in shelter from being there. You are taking up the space for someone who is on the streets!!!!!
You have the money to get an apartment. You have money to feed your child..you have the money to pay for transportation for work.


Having a 5k wedding should be the last thing on your mind..and I hope you kind of realize that and you are just being selfish right now..BUT if you truly believe that spending 5k for a wedding is a priority right now,,,then SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Personal-Housing situation

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Posted by SomethingBlu

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Posted by 103005FallBride

I took the advise of others and searched for some of your previous posts...

1. Parasols for your outdoor wedding?....hmmm

2. Where are you typing away on this computer?... According to one of your posts you were installing spyware...I've never seen anyone do that on a public computer!

3. This is one of my favorite posts... AND I QUOTE:
"Hey mama!! Ok, I would say yes if it is reasonable. I love cosmos and apple martinis are great. People will definetly remember that. I would rememebr that. I am a lush too. Your wedding sounds like so much fun!!! Shlt, I wish I were going!! Have the bar!! That is people drink the most in my opinion. Keep the lines to a minimum."

4. Lets not forget two seperate dresses!

5. I love the link to your knot bio... hmm...where did you try on that dress in your photo? In the shelter? I didn't know a shelter had radios, trophies, and to quote again: "My gold comb which I loved and probably paid too much for on Ebay, but I could not stop bidding on it cuz I thought it would go perfect with my dress."

Why would you post something like this?

Like many other LIW Brides said "Where is your priorities?"

ETA: 6. (Quoting again from LIW post...)
"Question:
How did you make them? They came out beautiful. I would love to have them as asecond favor for the wedding." WOW - TWO FAVORS????!!!! How about making a donation to the shelter you're living at?!?!?!!?

7. "Love Family Business. I think it is so funny. Cousin Stevie (Ihtink that is his name) is hilarious. Is there a new season. MOm decided to take out Showtime. When I get cble I am so getting Showtime. I hate where I live." Sounds like your living at home with Mom...not at a shelter?...

8. "If I had the internet where I live, I would so be on when I go home. Unfortunately, I thought I was slick and boguhta laptop and thought I could catch the signal of a job center nearby. Sike!! I can barely get a bar. When I do, nothing. That is why I procrastinating. I need to go home!!" - Laptop too!...WOW!

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WOW...

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Re: Personal-Housing situation

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Posted by brooklynbridezilla

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Posted by SomethingBlu

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Posted by 103005FallBride

I took the advise of others and searched for some of your previous posts...

1. Parasols for your outdoor wedding?....hmmm

2. Where are you typing away on this computer?... According to one of your posts you were installing spyware...I've never seen anyone do that on a public computer!

3. This is one of my favorite posts... AND I QUOTE:
"Hey mama!! Ok, I would say yes if it is reasonable. I love cosmos and apple martinis are great. People will definetly remember that. I would rememebr that. I am a lush too. Your wedding sounds like so much fun!!! Shlt, I wish I were going!! Have the bar!! That is people drink the most in my opinion. Keep the lines to a minimum."

4. Lets not forget two seperate dresses!

5. I love the link to your knot bio... hmm...where did you try on that dress in your photo? In the shelter? I didn't know a shelter had radios, trophies, and to quote again: "My gold comb which I loved and probably paid too much for on Ebay, but I could not stop bidding on it cuz I thought it would go perfect with my dress."

Why would you post something like this?

Like many other LIW Brides said "Where is your priorities?"

ETA: 6. (Quoting again from LIW post...)
"Question:
How did you make them? They came out beautiful. I would love to have them as asecond favor for the wedding." WOW - TWO FAVORS????!!!! How about making a donation to the shelter you're living at?!?!?!!?

7. "Love Family Business. I think it is so funny. Cousin Stevie (Ihtink that is his name) is hilarious. Is there a new season. MOm decided to take out Showtime. When I get cble I am so getting Showtime. I hate where I live." Sounds like your living at home with Mom...not at a shelter?...

8. "If I had the internet where I live, I would so be on when I go home. Unfortunately, I thought I was slick and boguhta laptop and thought I could catch the signal of a job center nearby. Sike!! I can barely get a bar. When I do, nothing. That is why I procrastinating. I need to go home!!" - Laptop too!...WOW!

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WOW...

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How awful...I was seriously trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. Although I was wondering how the shelter had intenet access.

and you were worried about how to tell your vendors you live in a shelter...was that just so you would get a discount?

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Re: Personal-Housing situation

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Posted by SomethingBlu

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Posted by brooklynbridezilla

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Posted by SomethingBlu

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Posted by 103005FallBride

I took the advise of others and searched for some of your previous posts...

1. Parasols for your outdoor wedding?....hmmm

2. Where are you typing away on this computer?... According to one of your posts you were installing spyware...I've never seen anyone do that on a public computer!

3. This is one of my favorite posts... AND I QUOTE:
"Hey mama!! Ok, I would say yes if it is reasonable. I love cosmos and apple martinis are great. People will definetly remember that. I would rememebr that. I am a lush too. Your wedding sounds like so much fun!!! Shlt, I wish I were going!! Have the bar!! That is people drink the most in my opinion. Keep the lines to a minimum."

4. Lets not forget two seperate dresses!

5. I love the link to your knot bio... hmm...where did you try on that dress in your photo? In the shelter? I didn't know a shelter had radios, trophies, and to quote again: "My gold comb which I loved and probably paid too much for on Ebay, but I could not stop bidding on it cuz I thought it would go perfect with my dress."

Why would you post something like this?

Like many other LIW Brides said "Where is your priorities?"

ETA: 6. (Quoting again from LIW post...)
"Question:
How did you make them? They came out beautiful. I would love to have them as asecond favor for the wedding." WOW - TWO FAVORS????!!!! How about making a donation to the shelter you're living at?!?!?!!?

7. "Love Family Business. I think it is so funny. Cousin Stevie (Ihtink that is his name) is hilarious. Is there a new season. MOm decided to take out Showtime. When I get cble I am so getting Showtime. I hate where I live." Sounds like your living at home with Mom...not at a shelter?...

8. "If I had the internet where I live, I would so be on when I go home. Unfortunately, I thought I was slick and boguhta laptop and thought I could catch the signal of a job center nearby. Sike!! I can barely get a bar. When I do, nothing. That is why I procrastinating. I need to go home!!" - Laptop too!...WOW!

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WOW...

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How awful...I was seriously trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. Although I was wondering how the shelter had intenet access.

and you were worried about how to tell your vendors you live in a shelter...was that just so you would get a discount?

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I know...I feel so sad and disgusted by it all... SHe took down her pics and info...maybe it was "too embarrasing"...

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Re: Personal-Housing situation

I'm sorry, but I have to be honest. If this is true, this sickens me. YOU HAVE A CHILD!!! How could it even be a question in your mind whether or not to have a wedding? Your child doesn't have a place to call "home" and you are planning a WEDDING???

I understand marymoon's comment about needing something "happy" in your life....but you are in a homeless shelter, with a child. You need a stable environment for your child. NOTHING should be more important than that!!

Re: Personal-Housing situation

Is it possible that this whole thing is just .

I am not accusing, but this all just does not make sense.

Re: Personal-Housing situation

I have a 3 year old and this makes me so mad...this girl needs to get her sh*t together. Children come first ! ! ! If we had to live in a shelter a wedding reception would not even be on my mind. What does your family think of this?????

Re: Personal-Housing situation

OMG...


Reading those previous posts I want to barf...this is either a fakie or a very sick woman...well either way it's a sikc woman who wants attention.

Maybe she thought we'd take up a collection and send her money to buy a 3rd wedding gown!!!

I don't make a lot of money, but HAVE a JOB, and maybe your FH i s your business, but if we had a kid with no roof over his head, we'd BOTH be working, even for minimum wage to get some money and food for our kids.

I HAVE A ROOF OVER MY HEAD AND FH AND AI BOTH HAVE JOBS and I'm VERY grateful for this

but neither of us can afford a laptop, 2 weddings gowns and GRAD SCHOOL.

Re: Personal-Housing situation

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Posted by FutureMrsH

Is it possible that this whole thing is just .

I am not accusing, but this all just does not make sense.

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