Living together before wedding

Does anyone feel like people treat your wedding differently because you already live with your FH? I sometimes get the impression that people don't think it's as 'special' because it's like we are already married (we've lived together in our own home for 2 years). Can anyone else relate? Has anyone else regretted moving in before their wedding?

Re: Living together before wedding

I don't regret it at all. I think it's the best decision I ever made. I have heard many people talk about how they wish they had done it - they would have discovered much earlier that they weren't compatible....

I think it is a smart move, and no; I haven't gotten any negative vibes/reactions from people because FH and I live together. I think that is an old-fashioned approach anyway.

Good luck with your decision!

Re: Living together before wedding

i agree- BEST decision we made- and no one seems to be treating it as any less special

Re: Living together before wedding

I Think it was a good decision......i LOVE living with FH

Re: Living together before wedding

I am so happy that FH and I live together. We got all the 'kinks' out before the wedding :0)!!! I do feel like people don't think it's as big a deal as if we didn't live together. I feel in my heart we are already married too, this is just getting that piece of paper to make it legal :0)!!!

Kelly
33 DTG!!!

Re: Living together before wedding

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Posted by Junebride06

Does anyone feel like people treat your wedding differently because you already live with your FH? I sometimes get the impression that people don't think it's as 'special' because it's like we are already married (we've lived together in our own home for 2 years). Can anyone else relate? Has anyone else regretted moving in before their wedding?

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I can totally relate...I don't regret moving in together because it was necessary in our case (I needed to know what I was 'getitng into' ) I did feel that people weren't as enthusiastic about our wedding and a lot of them felt that we were married already (which clearly, we weren't). But that's partly because we have been together for 9 years and engaged for 4 of those...so everyone was like 'when is it again?'
Sorry so long, just wanted to say that yes, I can relate and yes, people acted like it wasn't a 'big deal' BUT the day of was the most magical day and I completely feel like a new love and chapter started - even after all this time. So hang in there, it's totally worth it!

Edited because I can't spell!

Re: Living together before wedding

Thanks..I really appreciate that. We've just been getting a lot of flack from his parents (they thing it's a bad idea to spend so much money when we already started our life, etc.) and it makes me wonder if we are doing the right thing having a big wedding. Someone else mentioned that they feel like they are already married and it's only a piece of paper - that 's kind of my point! Then what is the meaning of a wedding if you only see it as a piece of paper? Sorry to be getting soooo deeeep.... I'm just having issues!!!

Re: Living together before wedding

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Posted by Junebride06

Does anyone feel like people treat your wedding differently because you already live with your FH? I sometimes get the impression that people don't think it's as 'special' because it's like we are already married (we've lived together in our own home for 2 years). Can anyone else relate? Has anyone else regretted moving in before their wedding?

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no i was never treated differently.
and NO i do not regret it at all....In fact i thik it was one of my best decisions!

Re: Living together before wedding

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Posted by Junebride06

Thanks..I really appreciate that. We've just been getting a lot of flack from his parents (they thing it's a bad idea to spend so much money when we already started our life, etc.) and it makes me wonder if we are doing the right thing having a big wedding. Someone else mentioned that they feel like they are already married and it's only a piece of paper - that 's kind of my point! Then what is the meaning of a wedding if you only see it as a piece of paper? Sorry to be getting soooo deeeep.... I'm just having issues!!!

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I too felt like we were 'married' and it was ' a piece of paper' but trust me, it is different and worth it! At least for us, it made us love each other more and now we're family - which we weren't before. Ignore the people that say it's a waste - it's NOT! You are taking your relationship and commintment to each other to the next and most beautiful (and natural) level - you are doing the right thing if you desire to be married. I know not everyone is the same and not everyone wants to get married (I didn't believe in it growing up) but being married and living together (even for 4 years, like us) is completely different. The day of you will feel bridal, special and like it was the best decision ever made - the celebration and reception is just that - a celebration of your accomplishment and union!

Phew, sorry, I guess I'm chatty today!

Re: Living together before wedding

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Posted by RedHead

no i was never treated differently.
and NO i do not regret it at all....In fact i thik it was one of my best decisions!

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I totally agree!

Re: Living together before wedding

best decision ever!

Re: Living together before wedding

I wish I had. It would have made the transition a little easier.

Re: Living together before wedding

I do feel like some people look at my wedding in a slightly different way because FI and I live together.... I went away to visit a college friend a few months ago and I got to meet some of her friends..When I would talk about the wedding they were all interested in hearing all about it, but when it came up that FI and I live together now there were eyebrows raised, and interest in the wedding all but disappeared...There were all girls who were in their 20's who were raising the eyebrows and I was shocked at their reactions (maybe it was because I was in another part of the country..who knows)...As far as regretting the decision to move in before marriage...NEVER

Re: Living together before wedding

Well, from what most of you have said, I can tell you don't regret moving in together, but does it affect the way you are planning your wedding? Do you feel like you shouldn't be spending the money?

Re: Living together before wedding

Definitely doesn't affect our planning, this is a once in a lifetime event and I will have the wedding of my dreams!

Re: Living together before wedding

Definitely don't regret moving in with FH. Thankfully no one is treating us or the wedding any differently because of us moving in together 2 & 1/2 years before getting married.
Regarding the money...sometimes, but I know if we didn't spend our money on the wedding..we would always regret it. The dream of a house is always there, but it's just going to happen a little later than we'd like.

Re: Living together before wedding

well i just moved in with my fh about two weeks ago and so far so good. So far i love it.