Just need to vent!!! (sorry, long)

I appreciate all of you ladies on here, as I know somehow weddings bring out the worst in people, but this has been stewing with me since I got engaged.

When I first announced our engagement to my family, they were all happy for me. (As were my FILS) Except my brother and my SIL say to me 'Oh, you better not be getting married around Sept. 06' I asked why. Turns out SIL's BF is getting married then and they're in the wedding party. Well I said we were thinking maybe October, but who knows. So I'm pissed at him for saying that because why should I schedule our wedding around her BF. My family agrees with me. Needless to say, we end deciding on April anyway because it's easier for us. HE STILL WHINES!!!! He said I suck for picking April because it's still too close to September, that why don't we wait till 2007. I said look who is more important, friends or family.

So we got over that, and I let them know that they're in our wedding party, however SIL is pregnant and due the 1st week of October. My brother tells me maybe I shouldn't have her in the wedding because of this. So I sent her an email saying if she wants to back out, that I'm fine. No response. So fine, I'm thinking maybe we can order the dresses in November, but I want to look now to get it out of the way, so I can book a florist. Just pick a dress now, but order in November. So 10 days ago I send her (and my other girls) an email asking if next weekend or the weekend after is good to go looking. And what do I get? NO RESPONSE. Now I know she read the email, because we're both on AOL. She has spoken to me once since we got engaged 2 months ago.

Did I mention that when they got married, when I was complaining about constantly going to Staten Island (with no car at the time) that she said when I get married and she's my bridesmaid that she would help me in any way possible??!! I have yet to see it happen!!!

Now I love my brother to death, and I do like my SIL but they don't understand that my mother is sick, I have no sisters, my MOH is extremely busy with her baby and therefore I really have no one to talk to about anything. My FH can only handle so many questions. So I feel like I'm lost and when I try to get answers from her, I get silence. Even my other SIL who is more of a tomboy has offered to help me because she feels bad.

FH says I should just make someone else a bridesmaid who is interested and not contact her anymore, and that when she finally does contact me, I can say 'well I thought you weren't interested, so I replaced you', but I know that would upset my brother.

What should I do? I would call my brother, but I am so upset and pissed off at her ignorance of my direct questions, and the attitude that my wedding doesn't mean crap that I might just start screaming at him, even though I know it's not his fault. (I'm PMSing and therefore holding my tongue is not a luxury right now.)

What would you do in this situation?? (Sorry so long, but there was no short way to explain it all!!)

Re: Just need to vent!!! (sorry, long)

First I want to give you some

I went through something similar w/ FBIL's g/f. Do you want her in the BP? Can you call her directly and ask her what her intentions are. Explain that you have to move forward in your plans and just need to know if she is still interested, but if she's not it's ok. Is it possible that your brother said what he said about not having her in the BP because she does not want to be and does not feel comfortable telling you? If so, give her an out because it's better that you know sooner then later. Personally I had not spoken to FBIL's GF in almost a year now, so I did not feel the need to even ask anymore. This is between you and her, so I would discuss this with her directly. I am so sorry you are going through ths. It was not right for them to give you any hard time about your wedding date. Every couple chooses the date that is right for them.

Re: Just need to vent!!! (sorry, long)

Why are people so damn selfish. Went through something not so similiar but it involved my cousin being in the BP. Now when she got married I was in her BP because she is my first cousin...I was also in college and had NO MONEY. My mother who was going through a horrible divorce and had nothing paid for everything even the ugly $250 dress...

Ok so flashforward to my wedding...this beoch takes the oppurtunity on Christmas day infront of the whole family to give me this whole song and dance about how her husbands niece is getting married in 2006 and how they won't have the money to do both...so she can't be in my wedding.

So I replaced her with another cousin...

Guess what the beoch is still acting like she 'might be in it'.....I never told her she has been replaced...

I say replace her with someone who wants to be part of your day

Re: Just need to vent!!! (sorry, long)

Thanks to you ladies for your responses, I feel a lot better now!!!

I'm calling her today and letting her know it would be more important for her to spend time with her newborn baby than to worry about fittings in the middle of winter. (I have another BM who is due the same week as her, and I'm telling her the same thing.) Plus my brother wants out now, so I'm letting him go.

I'm replacing her with one of my BF's who wants in. This way the number of the BP stays equal, and I have people involved that I don't have to wrry about. I'll let you know how the calls go.....

Re: Just need to vent!!! (sorry, long)

Some people are just so rude!

Im sorry they are doing this to you....but maybe your better off now, and you can have someone who will actually share your happiness with you as well as help you plan!

Re: Just need to vent!!! (sorry, long)

this is JMO, but if I asked anyone to be in my BP and they gave a hint of objection, they would have been outta there in a heartbeat.

IMO, being in a BP is more of an honor thing than an obligation. I'm sorry to say that it sounds like your SIL & brother are treating it as an obligation/

weddings really do bring out the worst in some people.

and by the way, if I were in your situation, I wouldn't miss the opportunity to remind your SIL of how big of an inconvenience going SI was for you with no car! That’s so wrong! I would never make it so difficult for my BP to get a dress for MY wedding.