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klingklang77
at home in the world...
Member since 10/05 1915 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/16/2006 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Milleridge Carriage House
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Re: Living away from your husband
when FH and I get married we will be spending about 1-2 months apart a year maybe. we live in sydney and if i want to go home and see my family the airfare might be too much, depending on how much we save, for both of us to fly to NY. we talked about it and we know this is how it may be and we are ok with it.
most of our relationship has been long distance, until i moved here. we met in germany then he went back to sydney, and i went back to long island and we spent 6 months apart. it was really really tough, but it made me realise just how much i loved him. if you guys havent spent time apart i suggest you find something that you can do that will keep you closer. for example, hand written letters are really nice. i knew a couple that kept a diary and then gave it to each other at the end. there you can write your feelings etc.
also 2 years can go quick, because you know there will be an end in sight. there is no uncertainty.
for free phone calls get skype, which is an internet telephone service for free. all you need to buy is a headset. also write emails and make sure you have set times when you talk etc.
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Posted 11/29/05 9:38 PM 
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MJDoc12
WE SALUTE YOU!!!
Member since 10/05 11851 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/25/2007 11:15 AM
Wed. Location:
Watermill Caterers.. A++++
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Re: Living away from your husband
i'm sorry you have to go through this kind of decision!  myself personally...i know i wouldn't be able to handle it. FH and i don't live together...but we see each other everyday...and the idea of having to spend long periods of time apart from him would just not work for me. but everyone is different.
is the job really worth putting the first 2 yrs of your marriage under such a huge strain? marriage is tough enough these days...but to start it off with long distance is like having 2 strikes against you!
i hope you and FH can sit down a re-evaluate everything. seems to me that you are not at all happy about the decision, and that can lead to resentment later on.
good luck!
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Posted 11/29/05 9:38 PM
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Suzannebride
Whoohoo! Done!
Member since 2/05 2811 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/26/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Milleridge Cottage: A+!
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Re: Living away from your husband
Thanks for sharing your experiences everyone. It's nice to know other people have been in the same boat (LITERALLY for natinwpb). It's definitely important that he takes the job and it's up to me to figure out what to do. His is a career...mine is really just a job. So, we'll give it a shot and see what happens!
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Posted 11/30/05 11:18 AM
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natinwpb
Board Fanatic
Member since 5/05 465 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/3/2006 11:00 AM
Wed. Location:
21 Main, Sayville
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Re: Living away from your husband
Good luck with your decision. Don't sell yourself short. Your job is important too, but unfortunately I have learned that one or the other is going to have to compromise. It sounds like he has a good opportunity and it might be worth it to go with him. Who knows you might find a better job when you come back.
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Posted 11/30/05 11:41 AM
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Soon2BeMrsS
Board Dutchess
Member since 6/05 5286 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/11/2011 4:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Where we celebrate forever
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Re: Living away from your husband
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Posted 11/30/05 7:56 PM
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October Bliss
Beyond Obsession
Member since 8/05 7629 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/8/2006 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Country Gardens @ East Wind
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Re: Living away from your husband
Posted by Suzannebride
It's a judicial clerkship which is supposed to be very difficult to get and great for a career as a lawyer. If anyone would give up their job it would be me but that is hard to do when I have a good income working a very NYC based field. Plus, he would be coming back here after the 2 years since both are families are here, so I would have to get 2 new jobs if I did move. I suppose we will start off with living apart and then I may just give up and move to him.
A judicial clerkship is very hard to get, but the rewards are unbelievable! This could pave the way toward a solid permanent job in the court system (gov't job, gov't benefits), it could pave the way toward any political aspirations he may have, or it could pave the way to him becoming a judge.
As for the time apart, with a solid foundation you can make it. 7 hours is not so far that you can't spend weekends together. The courts are closed for every conceivable holiday. And think about all the spouses of our military personnel. They are all making it work without a definite end in sight. At least you know at the end of two years, during which time you will see him and hold him etc, he will be definitely be coming home.
PS:
To all the military brides
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Posted 11/30/05 8:51 PM
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JazzyT
Party Like a Rock Star!!
Member since 11/05 7205 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/27/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
El Caribe
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Re: Living away from your husband
Thats really tough
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Posted 11/30/05 9:41 PM
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