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bride2b24
~Married and loving it!~
Member since 12/05 4401 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/28/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Leonards of Great Neck
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Nosey family members and friends
 Any advice on how to answer when someone ( family or friends) asks how much you are paying pp? i feel like its none of their business!!! although it would be nice if they covered their plates! if you have any experience in this area please shed some light, for i know this is something i'll be dealing with
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Posted 1/4/06 11:13 AM 
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Blu-ize
My House
Member since 8/04 8305 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/28/1998 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
East Meadow Jewish Center
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
ask them if they are paying for the wedding. Only the people paying for the wedding should know that info. After that, there is no need.
As far as covering their plates, either way, don't hold your breath.
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Posted 1/4/06 11:19 AM
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Love4Eva
&hearts LOVE the Married LIfe!
Member since 12/05 4961 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/23/2007 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Watermill Caterers
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
i would just say something like im paying alot - and laugh it off and make it into a joke - so then they feel a little dumb - and they'll realize thats not something you want to disclose! and you wont be looked upon as mean or anything!
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Posted 1/4/06 11:23 AM
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pupidda122505
I'M MARRIED! SPM 7-7-07
Member since 12/05 3598 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/7/2007 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
booked!
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
Posted by bride2b24
Any advice on how to answer when someone ( family or friends) asks how much you are paying pp? i feel like its none of their business!!! although it would be nice if they covered their plates! if you have any experience in this area please shed some light, for i know this is something i'll be dealing with
I'm in the same boat as you trust me and i know how awkward it'll be when the first person asks. My FH feels like it's no big deal to tell family members and friends but I totally disagree. I don't want to have to see their reaction when I tell them u know what i mean? So he can tell his family if he wants but my family and friends won't be hearing it from me.
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Posted 1/4/06 11:27 AM
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JazzyT
Party Like a Rock Star!!
Member since 11/05 7203 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/27/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
El Caribe
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
Why do people ask that?
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Posted 1/4/06 11:27 AM
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bride2b24
~Married and loving it!~
Member since 12/05 4401 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/28/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Leonards of Great Neck
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
OMG ......My FH is just like yours!!!  he tells his whole family all of our financial bussiness until I had to really sit down with him and say that it wasnt appropriate....he just thought it was normal! my fam isnt like that so i know it isnt i even had to remind him not to tell people how much he paid for my ring!
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Posted 1/4/06 11:33 AM
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BernandRob
I'm married
Member since 10/05 1633 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/20/2007 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Chateau Briand
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
Posted by Love4Eva
i would just say something like im paying alot - and laugh it off and make it into a joke - so then they feel a little dumb - and they'll realize thats not something you want to disclose! and you wont be looked upon as mean or anything!
That's what I would do, or say something like trust me enough.
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Posted 1/4/06 11:36 AM
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pupidda122505
I'M MARRIED! SPM 7-7-07
Member since 12/05 3598 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/7/2007 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
booked!
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
Posted by bride2b24
OMG ......My FH is just like yours!!! he tells his whole family all of our financial bussiness until I had to really sit down with him and say that it wasnt appropriate....he just thought it was normal! my fam isnt like that so i know it isnt i even had to remind him not to tell people how much he paid for my ring!
His friends know that too  He doesn't do it to brag or anything, he just doesn't see the big deal in telling people when they ask. I'm the complete opposite. I guess it's a guy thing  
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Posted 1/4/06 11:40 AM
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LaurenluvsTJ
Married life is sweet!
Member since 1/05 11868 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/28/2006 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
I don't understand why anyone would ask you then unless they were planning on contributing to the cost of the wedding.
You should say to them "why, are you paying?"
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Posted 1/4/06 11:42 AM
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werock0709
More in love than ever!!!
Member since 12/05 8532 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/6/2007 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
SandCastle
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
There are actually a few people on here who ask those questions as well. Doesn't really bother me, but it's really not right to do, being that there is a board that the vendors can help them and be specific to there needs as opposed to as what deal I got. Everyone is different!
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Posted 1/4/06 11:57 AM
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MJDoc12
WE SALUTE YOU!!!
Member since 10/05 11851 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/25/2007 11:15 AM
Wed. Location:
Watermill Caterers.. A++++
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
Make a joke like: "Our first born child." and if they insist on asking more, sternly, but politely say, "I'd rather not talk about numbers, if you don't mind."
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Posted 1/4/06 2:14 PM
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Missladybug15
Married One YEAR!!!!!
Member since 7/05 4302 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/7/2007 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Terrace on the Park
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
its sick to say but some people want to know how much you are paying so they know how much they should give you. Technically a wedding gift from a person should at least cover their plate.
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Posted 1/4/06 3:36 PM
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bride2b24
~Married and loving it!~
Member since 12/05 4401 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/28/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Leonards of Great Neck
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
yeah i dont get why people do it either....i think i am gonna go with the first born child!
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Posted 1/4/06 4:08 PM
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Mrs. dleeny
My most beautiful day ever
Member since 3/05 12395 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/6/2005 5:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Swan Club A+
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
tell them it's costing enough. that will shut them up
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Posted 1/4/06 4:15 PM
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Blu-ize
My House
Member since 8/04 8305 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/28/1998 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
East Meadow Jewish Center
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
Posted by Missladybug15
its sick to say but some people want to know how much you are paying so they know how much they should give you. Technically a wedding gift from a person should at least cover their plate.
I don't agree with this. It is nobody's business what you pay. Equally, you should give what can afford.
Maybe you should ask them what they plan on giving you as a gift?
Message edited 1/4/2006 4:15:35 PM.
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Posted 1/4/06 4:15 PM
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tracy2246
Invites out
Member since 3/05 1598 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/3/2006 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
Tell them that you would rather not say-or ball park-
you should ask why how much you giving us? Imagine-
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Posted 1/4/06 5:13 PM
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Ser29
Joe's girl
Member since 1/05 1513 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/14/2007 11:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Watermill
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
we got a really great deal so if i told them how much id get crap.. i'm just telling them that we got a great deal wich could mean anything ..
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Posted 1/4/06 6:34 PM
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07bride2be
Board Fanatic
Member since 1/06 542 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/7/2007 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
COMPLETED
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
It's funny...cause I was just in this situation. One of my roomate's is EXTREMELY secretive, and would never ever discuss any type of finances with us. But, he asked me the other day what our budget was for the wedding, and how much we were paying pp. Because I'm close to him, I was able to jokingly tell him that was a rude question, and he seemed to be real apologetic for asking...like he didn't know. Come to find out, when I was out, he asked my FH the same thing!!!!! and my FH responded with a similiar response to mine!
I have no idea why he would ask this...especially since he is such a secretive person.
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Posted 1/18/06 3:06 PM
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Athee07
One year down a lifetime to go
Member since 5/05 7981 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/14/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Swan Club
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
grr i hate when they ask that- i just say alot -want to contribute and they shut up
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Posted 1/19/06 1:19 PM
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jnrrb
1 1/2 months to go :-)
Member since 1/06 1054 total posts
Wedding Date:
3/18/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
just tell them it is a lot and if they say whats a lot $50,000 (or whatever number) say yeah. 
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Posted 1/19/06 2:38 PM
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alwaysz22
Board Fanatic
Member since 6/05 550 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/5/2007 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Stonebridge County Club
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
Be straight forward, tell them you don't want to share that info because it is none of their buisness
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Posted 1/19/06 2:46 PM
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ETAB
I am a MRS!!!
Member since 11/05 1703 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/23/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
I tried.. the alot... or I also tried it is more than we wanted to spend.. but they still ask.. at that point I feel stupid not telling them like I want to hide it and tell them..
I hate it though....
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Posted 1/19/06 2:57 PM
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dianadrw
We're homeowners!
Member since 9/05 3583 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/27/2007 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
The North Ritz Club
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
This is how I handle it:
"Diana, how much are you paying per person?"
"Why? Do you want to know who to make the check payable to?"
Works everytime.
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Posted 1/19/06 3:49 PM
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Bobbysgirl
I am a wife!
Member since 10/05 1329 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/27/2007 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Watermill
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
I would say - ENOUGH
That should shut them up
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Posted 1/19/06 3:55 PM
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bride2b24
~Married and loving it!~
Member since 12/05 4401 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/28/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Leonards of Great Neck
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Re: Nosey family members and friends
Posted by ETAB
I tried.. the alot... or I also tried it is more than we wanted to spend.. but they still ask.. at that point I feel stupid not telling them like I want to hide it and tell them..
I hate it though....
im like you ....i feel like its hard to not say....FH's family is so open about money ....it makes me sick
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Posted 1/22/06 1:56 PM
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