if a friends wedding is a month after yours......???

is it appropriate to tell each other not to give each other gifts??
my train of thought is.... the couple who is coming to our wedding.... if they give us a monetary gift... in one month we will literally just be giving it back.
would it be tacky to mention this??
i want to just say come to our wedding and please lets not do gifts for one another ( other than maybe cards) bc we have our weddings so close together..

thoughts anyone? ty

Re: if a friends wedding is a month after yours......???

I don't think it's appropriate to say that. if it's just you giving the money back to them, so be it. That's what everyone does..it's ust not always that close together

Re: if a friends wedding is a month after yours......???

If you give them something, they'll at least give you the same...the result in the end to give than not to give is the same.

I would honestly say give...b/c you're goin gto get it back in the end anyway.

Re: if a friends wedding is a month after yours......???

I have a friends wedding two months after mine. I am giving her a present. I would feel weird going to her wedding with nothing.
Maybe I will ask her what she wants to do!

Re: if a friends wedding is a month after yours......???

I have weddings 2 months before and a month after mine. I'm giving a gift to the one before me and I would expect a gift from the one after mine. I see what you're saying, but unless it was a really close friend, I think it comes off... I don't know, maybe lazy? In principle you're on the nose, but only if it's your best friend in the world can you go 'this is silly, let's skip the charade.' Also, giving someone a gift is more than just an exchange of money, it's a way of saying congraulations and it's a nice gesture, even if you know in the long run it's not actually going to help them financially.

Re: if a friends wedding is a month after yours......???

i definitely understand what you are saying b/c it really is just like swapping money but i wouldn't advise saying anything about it... even though it is what it is, if it were me i would just give and receive like normal.

good point though lol it is pretty silly but giving the gift is still the right thing to do either way.

Re: if a friends wedding is a month after yours......???

My 2 friends (we are all college roomates) are getting married within three months of one another so we are calling it 'even.'

I will still bring a card and probably a gift certificate to dinner or something.

I guess it all depends on how close you and your friend are.

Re: if a friends wedding is a month after yours......???

this is one of fh's closest friends.

they are coming to our wedding first... and i thought since i know how expensive getting married is..it would help them not to have to give us a gift so soon before their own wedding.

i think the thought is right.... but i dont want to sound lazy either.
i guess if they give us a monetary gift.... we will cash it..but just give it back a month later?

i just didnt know the ettiquette for this..thans everyone! xo jenn

Re: if a friends wedding is a month after yours......???

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Posted by marymoon

I don't think it's appropriate to say that. if it's just you giving the money back to them, so be it. That's what everyone does..it's ust not always that close together

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I totally agree!

Re: if a friends wedding is a month after yours......???

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Posted by ChrissynRicky

If you give them something, they'll at least give you the same...the result in the end to give than not to give is the same.

I would honestly say give...b/c you're goin gto get it back in the end anyway.

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Exactly.

Re: if a friends wedding is a month after yours......???

If they are close friends of your I would say it's fine to suggest it. They might be relieved to not have to lay out extra money right before their wedding they you are only going to give back a month later.

Re: if a friends wedding is a month after yours......???

I say give a gift anyway. FH's brother is getting married two months after us so we are sort of in the same boat

Re: if a friends wedding is a month after yours......???

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Posted by marymoon

I don't think it's appropriate to say that. if it's just you giving the money back to them, so be it. That's what everyone does..it's ust not always that close together

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yup exactly...i agree. if you both wind up giving it back to each other--oh well!

Re: if a friends wedding is a month after yours......???

I've had friends who have called it even, they got married close in time to them.

I suggested doing that to my FH when he was in his friend's wedding in December but, we just gave them a gift.

Re: if a friends wedding is a month after yours......???

Take it from someone who got married two months apart from my best friend, a month apart from another friend and two months apart from my sister......we ALL thought of it AFTER the wedding and it would have helped us all out had we thought to not do gifts for each other before the wedding. It really was silly to do, especially when you have so many last minute things to pay for with your own wedding. I think it's a great idea, personally.

Re: if a friends wedding is a month after yours......???

My MOH is getting married 2 months after us. We decided not to do gifts at the wedding and instead spoil each other at our showers. That way we get the things we need for our houses, and don't have to exchange checks/cash with each other.

Re: if a friends wedding is a month after yours......???

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Posted by prunepie

is it appropriate to tell each other not to give each other gifts??
my train of thought is.... the couple who is coming to our wedding.... if they give us a monetary gift... in one month we will literally just be giving it back.
would it be tacky to mention this??
i want to just say come to our wedding and please lets not do gifts for one another ( other than maybe cards) bc we have our weddings so close together..

thoughts anyone? ty

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You're absolutely right. It's so silly, If you're close to her I would say it. If you're not, what's the difference anyway, no one looses anything.
XOXOXO
Kitty

Re: if a friends wedding is a month after yours......???

I have 7 wedding this year including our own, and every wedding we're going to are people that are invited to ours. One is 2 months before, one is a month before and one is a month after, and even with that, we are still giving them all the same we would give at any other wedding.

I know it seems silly just to give someone a gift only to get it right back shortly after, but I could never feel right going to a wedding empty handed.

Re: if a friends wedding is a month after yours......???

We had a wedding of a close friend of DH exactly one month after ours. We didint say anything, I just gave them the same thing they gave us. I also have 3 more this year so if i said anything to any of them, I would be broke right now LOL

Re: if a friends wedding is a month after yours......???

We did it with a friend of ours. It just didn't make sense to exchange checks for the same amount.

We gave them a card :)