Honest opinions, please

Shouldn't the mother of the bride and mother of the groom wear a dress to the wedding? I know there are nice pant suits, but for a Saturday night wedding, shouldn't they wear dresses? My FMIL just is dreading going dress shopping and I don't think she'll end up going unless FH and I actually go with her. She won't keep an open mind or anything. I don't quite know what to do. I love my FMIL, but she's really slacking on this one. She has time, but she just won't go shopping unless pushed.

What should we do?

Re: Honest opinions, please

Honestly, I would want them to be comfortable. My FMIL is not wearing a dress because she is not comfortable in them.. She is going to wear a nice pany suit and that is fine with me/.

Re: Honest opinions, please

I would want them to wear a dress too. It's a wedding, not a job interview! They can do it just once.

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I want her to be comfortable, I just didn't know if people wore pantsuits to evening weddings, especially the MOB/MOG.

Re: Honest opinions, please

The thing is, she's not keeping an open mind, and won't even go to try one or two dresses on. She even said she sort of hoped we were having a small wedding so she wouldn't have to wear a dress.

Re: Honest opinions, please

Also, I don't want her to look at pictures later and regret not getting more dressed up. You know what I mean?

Re: Honest opinions, please

I understand. My grandmother wanted to wear a pantsuit and my mom had to talk her out of it. You should offer to go shopping with her 'just to see what's out there' and hopefully she'll be pleasantly surprised. It's not the end of the world if she wears pants, but it certainly would be nice if she would dress to the formality of the occasion.

Good luck!

Re: Honest opinions, please

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Posted by stephanief

Honestly, I would want them to be comfortable. My FMIL is not wearing a dress because she is not comfortable in them.. She is going to wear a nice pany suit and that is fine with me/.

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My FMIL is a great person and is very nervous about doing anything wrong. when we got engaged she bought the emily posts ettiquette for weddings book. she asked If I would mind if she wore a pants suit. I told her I want her to enjoy the day. Remember at least for me, she is losing her only son on that day. I want her to enjoy as much as she can.

Re: Honest opinions, please

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Posted by bournebride

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Posted by stephanief

Honestly, I would want them to be comfortable. My FMIL is not wearing a dress because she is not comfortable in them.. She is going to wear a nice pany suit and that is fine with me/.

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My FMIL is a great person and is very nervous about doing anything wrong. when we got engaged she bought the emily posts ettiquette for weddings book. she asked If I would mind if she wore a pants suit. I told her I want her to enjoy the day. Remember at least for me, she is losing her only son on that day. I want her to enjoy as much as she can.

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Exactly !! great minds think alike

Re: Honest opinions, please

I think a pant suit is fine if they really would prefer not wearing a dress. There are some really nice ones out there that are atually quite fancy. Some come with lacing, sequins, etc. that dress it up considerably. Also, many of the pant suits out now are have nice overlays (organza, etc... I am bad with fabric names) that dress them up. I think pant suits can look really nice on older women, more so than a dress, particularly if they are very petite or heavy. JMO....

Re: Honest opinions, please

My mom is walking me down the aisle, so I expect her in a dress.. but FH's mom dresses more on the casual borderline schleppy side, so I don't know what we are doing with her.. FH wants to buy her a dress otherwise she's probably going to show up in sweatpants!!

Re: Honest opinions, please

Honestly, just let it be. My MIL told me, 'Your wedding isn't a good enough reason to buy a new dress.' I was really upset at first, and then my mother made the point to me that even if MIL wore the nicest dress money could afford, who'd be looking at her that day, anyway? No one. You're the bride, no one will give a second thought to what your MIL will be wearing, trust me. And the day of the wedding you'll be so excited and overcome with joy that all of this stuff won't matter anymore.
Oh, and PS, my MIL ended up buying a dress anyway and never told anyone

Re: Honest opinions, please

I'd want her to wear a dress too, but I think you should let her wear what she wants, as long as its presentable. She may have her own personal reasons for not wanting to be in a dress and I think its most important she is happy and pleasant to be around on your wedding day. No one is going to care what she wears anyway.

Re: Honest opinions, please

my mom is wearing a pant suit also but its very flary like and kinds looks like a dress.. I say let them were what they want as long as they are comfortable

Re: Honest opinions, please

I feel bad that I want her to wear a dress, but she's walking down the aisle, is going to be announced, and her husband will be wearing a tux. I wouldn't mind if she tried on one dress and said she'd rather pants. But she won't even do that. Her son is getting married and she's not in the least bit excited to find something to wear to the wedding.

Re: Honest opinions, please

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Posted by glinda_goodwitch

I feel bad that I want her to wear a dress, but she's walking down the aisle, is going to be announced, and her husband will be wearing a tux. I wouldn't mind if she tried on one dress and said she'd rather pants. But she won't even do that. Her son is getting married and she's not in the least bit excited to find something to wear to the wedding.

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If there's one thing I learned from getting married and everything leading up to it is that you cannot predict or expect reactions from people. ESPECIALLY close family. Everyone is going through a different range of emotions and the way you would HOPE people would act is not always the way they do, and there's nothign you can do about it. My DH was extremely disappointed that his parents had zero enthusiasm for our wedding and didn't even thank my parents for hosting it after all was said and done, but he had to deal with the fact that that is who they are.
I know it's hard and you want things to be a certain way, but if you start worrying about how everyone else is reacting to the wedding, you will go nuts by the time it comes. This too, shall pass.

Re: Honest opinions, please

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Posted by prncssrachel

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Posted by glinda_goodwitch

I feel bad that I want her to wear a dress, but she's walking down the aisle, is going to be announced, and her husband will be wearing a tux. I wouldn't mind if she tried on one dress and said she'd rather pants. But she won't even do that. Her son is getting married and she's not in the least bit excited to find something to wear to the wedding.

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If there's one thing I learned from getting married and everything leading up to it is that you cannot predict or expect reactions from people. ESPECIALLY close family. Everyone is going through a different range of emotions and the way you would HOPE people would act is not always the way they do, and there's nothign you can do about it. My DH was extremely disappointed that his parents had zero enthusiasm for our wedding and didn't even thank my parents for hosting it after all was said and done, but he had to deal with the fact that that is who they are.
I know it's hard and you want things to be a certain way, but if you start worrying about how everyone else is reacting to the wedding, you will go nuts by the time it comes. This too, shall pass.

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I know, it's not the end of the world. My FMIL has been GREAT with everything else.

Re: Honest opinions, please

I just went through this. When FH told his mom we were getting married, one of the first things she asked was if I minded if she didn't wear a dress. FH came to me, and I told him as long as his mom is comfortable and looks good, I really didn't care if she wore a dress or pants. That was back in June/July 2005.

My mom had her over for X-mas dinner and the conversation of what they were wearing to the wedding came up, and FMIL said she prefered pants. It was decided we would all go shopping together (my mom, FMIL & FSIL). We went, and FMIL actually bought a dress. Both FSILs and FH are shocked beyond all belief.

If your FMIL wants to wear pants - let her. Offer to go shopping with her to find a drop dead gorgeous pant suit. She might surprise you.

Re: Honest opinions, please

Honestly, I'd be upset if my mom or FH's mom wore pants. We're really trying to go the elegant route for our wedding. I don't think it is a lot to ask for our mothers to wear a dress.

(On a side note, my FFIL hates ties. I mean he really hates them, but he is sucking it up and wearing one- at least to the church anyway.)

Re: Honest opinions, please

I think you should tell her exactly what you told us (about not wanting her to regret her choice later) and be honest with her. But in the end, I think she should wear what she feels best in. It'll show in the pics if she's uncomfortable. I'm sure there are many nice pant suits out there to pick from. On the flip side, maybe she won't like those either and go w/ a dress!