Friend/BM Question/HELP

I have a friend who kind of just assumes that she will be in my wedding party. She won't be. I have my sister, sister in law and best friend only in the wedding party. I am supposed to specifically tell her that she isn't in the wedding party. I know when she finds out my best friend is in the wedding she is going to say like why is she in it and not me. Do I just avoid that and be upfront with her and tell her why she isn't in it?

Years ago it used to be me, best friend and her hanging out all the time but lately I don't really talk to her and we aren't close at all. But I think she just assumes if bf is in it she would be. When I first got engaged she would ask bf do you think 'WE' will be in the wedding. My BF just would say I don't know even though she knew. She is also the type of person that thinks if me and bf hang out she should hang out with us like it always has to be the 3 of us. BF and I are closer to each other then either one of us are to her.

I feel like I shouldn't have to explain myself but when she eventually finds out the BF is in it I know things will be said behind my back. Please help me. I was talking to BF about this last night, neither one of us knew what to do. BF suggested I come and ask you guys. THANKS GUYS!!!!!

Re: Friend/BM Question/HELP

Why not explaining to her that since you want a small bridal party, that's why you chose to have your Sister & SIL, & only your best friend..... She does know that she's not your best friend right...

Re: Friend/BM Question/HELP

Just say you wanted a small wedding party and you wanted your side and FI's sides to match so you couldn't add an extra person, you still hope she'll attend the wedding and be a part of your day and all that jazz but there is just no space for her in the bridal party.

Re: Friend/BM Question/HELP

If she really does think she is going to be in the wedding I think that you need to clarify things with her instead of potentially leading her on. . . and the small wedding party thing is a valid reason.

Re: Friend/BM Question/HELP

IMO it is best to be straight foward with her, tell her you are trying to have a small wedding party, and perhaps ask her to do a reading or something because her friendship means so much to you.

Re: Friend/BM Question/HELP

i feel your pain..i. am in a similar situation....she hasnt said anything to me yet but when she got married she was like i BETTER be in your wedding! lol....but shes def not.....my best advice to you is just letting her know that you want to keep it small and that you do value her as a friend even though shes not in the wedding.....if she doesnt understand than i guess shes not worth it.