Bride's advice thread

I thought it would be good to have a thread of useful advice from past brides for brides-to-be. Post any useful general lessons you learned from your wedding experience.

I will start...

-Before buying a dress, don't only consider the beauty of the gown, but also comfort, ability to move, and even the ability to go to the bathroom.
-Consider menus if you can. It will cut down on the aggrevation of your guests and wait staff having to go over the dinner choices over and over while trying to hear over the band/DJ. Also, the guests will get the wonderful description on the entree that the hall gave, which usually make's one's mouth water.
-Budget well, and if possible don't plan budgets around other people's contributions or wedding gifts. Most of the time you will get checks anyway and unless your bank is open and nearby, you will not be able to pay your vendors when they require, which is usually the day of or weeks before. Plus you don't know what people will be giving you. Also, you don't want to be stuck w/ an expense that someone else promised to pay for.
-Don't let IL issues get the best of you. All of the issues I thought were such a big deal before the wedding, meant nothing the day of.


I hope this will help some of the brides out there. These are things I didn't really think of until after the wedding.

Re: Bride's advice thread

Hey thanks!!!! This is a great thread

Re: Bride's advice thread

Get your pictures done before your ceremony. You can have whole seeing each other for the first time moment captured on film so you have that.

We took 2-3 hrs of pics before. Our photographer suggested it. The pictures were not rushed and we got so many of them. We didn't miss our cocktail hr or one bit of our reception.

Re: Bride's advice thread

Try to keep as little people as possible involved. Otherwise, you'll have too many cooks in the kitchen and it can only lead to aggrivation. And that brings me to my next point:

If you can, pay for the wedding yourself so you don't have to listen to other people because they ARE paying.

Make a chart with all of your vendor's payment schedules and be sure to read the small details in the contract.

Re: Bride's advice thread

I posted this in my review but I thougth I'll share it here too...

You can't please everyone when planning a wedding. The most you can really do is just try to plan a wedding that would reflect you and your DH’s taste and personality. Only your opinion should count and it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t live up to other people’s expectations. What matters is that the day is memorable for you and for those few who truly matter.

Be overprepared and delegate wedding day tasks a day before. On the wedding day I was actually OVERprepared for the wedding. I printed all the documents (schedule, processional, song list, task list, seating chart, etc.) and stuffed my tip envelopes and wrote all my vendor checks for DH to hold and hand out. :D

Don’t sweat the small stuff. On the day of the wedding there was a fire at DH’s hotel room, DH lost his watch, it rained all the way up to the reception, we didn’t bring out wallet, my bustle came undone, and some of my wine favor fell on the floor and broke … Things WILL go wrong but you have to remain calm and composed like a queen you're supposed to be. ;) Don't let anything unravel you, that way you'll be able to enjoy the day more.

Take Dance Lessons for your first dance!. Your guests will be sooo impressed and it will kick off the wedding like nothing else can!

Re: Bride's advice thread

I just thought of more...

Make sure no cars are in your way when walking in your dress. I forgot to tell my dad to move his car, and I had walked outside to take pictures and my gown brushed up against his car tire. I got break dust on my gown . We spent 20 frantic minutes trying to get the stain out and didn't. My photographer called my hall and they were ready w/ stain remover by the time I got there and got the stain out.

Put a password on your hall so that no one can make any changes to your contract other then you. You can ask this of your hall and they will ask you for the password before they will discuss anything with you. Just don't forget what the password is.

Don't check the weather report until 48 hours before the wedding. They can't predict the weather the day of, they are certainly not going to be able to predict what the weather will be in 10 days. Have umbrellas ready, but keep receipts so you can return them if you don't need them.

Re: Bride's advice thread

Spend the $ to have a videographer. We didn't, and even though we had a smaller wedding, I would have liked to have those memories now. I'm not completely depressed over it, since SO MANY people took pictures for me (I practically have every second of my wedding day in pictures ).

Re: Bride's advice thread

I love love love this thread!!


THANK YOU!!

Re: Bride's advice thread

get a video! i'm so glad we did... the whole day goes by so fast and ends up being a blur at the end of the night you're like ' what did we just do??' so its really great to have it all on video to relive the whole thing ' in action' (even if you just have a friend or fmaily member do it like we did)
DON'T GO NUTS!!! everybody says this, but really, its ONE DAY out of your entire life... things will happen, not everything will be the perfect cinderella day you planned, and thats ok. life is too short for details...
REMEMBER WHATS REALLY IMPORTANT! an example... we jsut went to a good friends wedding 2 weeks ago. it was a top notch wedding, they spent 50 grand, all orchid centerpeices, the whole nine.... she had her uncle/godfather do a reading. when she asked him he told her he didn't want to wear a suit... she said ' i don't care, as long as you're there and do this for us'. soo... at this super elegant wedding, he did a reading in black JEANS and a button down... and she smiled the whole time. so really, was it important that he wasn't dressed up or was it more important that she now has pictures and video and memories of this important person taking part in her wedding ceremony? agan, lifes too short to get caught up in stuff like that..
but, besides that, just HVAE FUN! its your day, and enjoy it because it goes by waaay too fast

Re: Bride's advice thread

This thread is fantastic, thanks ladies!

And you've all just convinced me that I need to talk FH and my parents into getting a videographer!

Re: Bride's advice thread

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Posted by MichLiz213

This thread is fantastic, thanks ladies!

And you've all just convinced me that I need to talk FH and my parents into getting a videographer!

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LOL- it really is a nice thing to have... and you don't really even have to pay big bucks for a pro... we got lucky and my best friends dad is really into video and has a brand new digital video camera so he did it for us. he even came to the rehearsal to tape some of that and figure out where to stand and all. hes super religious, so he doesn't dance or drink, so it didn't interfere with him hvaing fun either... and he gave us the whole thing on a DVD with scene selection and everything!
you could even buy a camcorder and have someone tape the wedding... and then you'll have the camcorder for your honeymoon and things like that, too....

Re: Bride's advice thread

This thread is awesome!!! Thanks for starting it!!! I was getting all caught up in the planning I forgot to sit back and think..'This man loves me and wants to marry me and be with me forever...no matter what my BM dresses look like, or what kind of beer they serve at the cocktail hour, I will have him forever!' Thanks!!

Re: Bride's advice thread

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Posted by MichLiz213

This thread is fantastic, thanks ladies!

And you've all just convinced me that I need to talk FH and my parents into getting a videographer!

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Check out Wild Rose. They are awesome and non-intrusive. FH didn't want a videographer but once he saw their work he really liked them.

Re: Bride's advice thread

So basically elope - but bring a videograher...

I'll have to rely on promises of family for cash (but this was recently discussed and agreed upon as to how it would be handled) and while some of it will go on a Low interest credit account - I'm keeping it minimal so as to use the gift money (I'm talking less than $3k). The rest will be paid for via my stock options that I'll be exercising right before so I can give that to my vendors. It's impossible to pay for an average $20k wedding without dipping a little or having some family help... especially when you own a house. I know that you want as few people involved as possible, but I know I'll have to be flexible in exchange for assistance. I think it's all great advise, but the reality is weddings on LI are overdone and very expensive. I have friends in other states that cannot fathom paying more that $5 or 10k for a wedding, but they don't get photographers, video, etc and they have them at restaurants. FSIL did that - it was a little under done for my personal tastes, but to each his own, if its worth it to you you have to follow your heart. What's a little more debt? Such is life...

So where can you get a vidoe that isn't cinematic? I just want raw footage of the ceremony only and cannot find it... I want my baby pictures nowhere near the hall and our life stories are both a little shady (he's divorced - he wouldnt want to go there)... we met a singles getaway - not exactly the most romantic thing in the world nor something I want to share with my grandchildren.

Re: Bride's advice thread

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Posted by Mrs.Ptobe

So basically elope - but bring a videograher...

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Nah...just little things that we all forget about, that w/ 20-20 hindsight realize could do differently. I loved my dress, but after it took like, how long? a half hour? to go to the bathroom w/ Rev Joe's assistant's help, I decided to just hold it in for the rest of the night.

Re: Bride's advice thread

Make sure your Band/DJ comes highly recommended. They make your wedding!!

Take EVERYTHING in..the day goes so fast!

If you can hire a DOC...they are worth the money!

Re: Bride's advice thread

Thanks for all of this wonderful advice!!

Re: Bride's advice thread

This thread is great!!! Thanks ladies!

Re: Bride's advice thread

Bumping for more advice!!!

Re: Bride's advice thread

Here's the link to the thread my 05 girls and I put together for this year's brides

All the tips and advice still stand for any bride getting married!

Hope it helps everyone have the day of their dreams!

05'ers Advice