Would you be mad? (Bridal Party Related)

If your new sister in law didn't give you an engagement gift, shower gift, or a wedding gift?!

She's 21, and has a really good job. I know that she makes more than I do!

As for being in the Bridal party, her only cost was buying the dress which was about $180.

I'm really trying to bite my tongue from saying something, or how could I say something in a nice way?

I always give her Christmas gifts, birthday gifts. And we get along really well.. so is it just lack of common sense??

A card would have been fine!

Re: Would you be mad? (Bridal Party Related)

i'd be a little annoyed...but what can ya do? some ppl have tacky etiquette!

i would tell FH that he should drop hints or talk to his sister about it...like its HIM that's annoyed. kind of liek

'I was talking to [You] and she said you didn't give anything for x, y, an z. Um, why not? That really bothers me that you didn't give anything!' LOL

guys can get away with that better than we can

Re: Would you be mad? (Bridal Party Related)

Yes, I would be annoyed.... she is your sister now and she should have gotten you something even if she didn't have a good job! its the lack of thought that would get me upset...

Re: Would you be mad? (Bridal Party Related)

Considering she makes a good living I can honestly say I would be annoyed. If she were still in college or had an entry level job I would totally understand.

Do you think bc she is so young maybe she doesn't realize that she should be giving gifts for these occasions? Do her parents typically give gifts on her behalf? What does DH have to say about it?

Re: Would you be mad? (Bridal Party Related)

I'd be annoyed.

Did she give you a card?

Re: Would you be mad? (Bridal Party Related)

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Posted by Shorty McBride

I'd be annoyed.

Did she give you a card?

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Nope!

Re: Would you be mad? (Bridal Party Related)

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Posted by AMJA

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Posted by Shorty McBride

I'd be annoyed.

Did she give you a card?

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Nope! and she brought someone!

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Re: Would you be mad? (Bridal Party Related)

I am ashamed to admit this.....but LET IT GO. She is soooo young....she has no experience, and you must let it go.
I cannot eve ntell you how many tabboo pheaux pas I made when I was that age....I just didn't know any better, and nobody pointed it out to me. your MIL should have told/mentored her through it.....no she shouldn't know better.....
Let it go......you have a whole lifetime of happy events that she will buy you gifts for.

Re: Would you be mad? (Bridal Party Related)

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Posted by brittny817

Considering she makes a good living I can honestly say I would be annoyed. If she were still in college or had an entry level job I would totally understand.

Do you think bc she is so young maybe she doesn't realize that she should be giving gifts for these occasions? Do her parents typically give gifts on her behalf? What does DH have to say about it?

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No her parents don't give gifts on her behalf. DH mom gave us our gift a while ago with only her name on the card.

Re: Would you be mad? (Bridal Party Related)

DH's parents didn't give us a gift or a card (we payed for my MILs dress and FALs tux) and his brother didn't either. Just a card would have been nice if money was an issue. It's an annoyance, but you just can't let it get to you too much because it's not worth it! Trust me though I know it's a terrible feeling! I didn't give DH too much of a hassle about it because I didn't want him to feel bad since it's not his fault...especially since he already knows it's messed up.

Re: Would you be mad? (Bridal Party Related)

That's pretty sh*tty. I would be a little miffed. If she had come to you and said she was in a bind with money and explained....maybe. But she said nothing? Did she give you a card?

ETA: I see she didn't give a card. I do chalk it up to being young, but that is a little weird.

Re: Would you be mad? (Bridal Party Related)

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Posted by CaitlinD

DH's parents didn't give us a gift or a card (we payed for my MILs dress and FALs tux) and his brother didn't either. Just a card would have been nice if money was an issue. It's an annoyance, but you just can't let it get to you too much because it's not worth it! Trust me though I know it's a terrible feeling! I didn't give DH too much of a hassle about it because I didn't want him to feel bad since it's not his fault...especially since he already knows it's messed up.

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Your right, I don't want him to feel bad about it. I mentioned it and he agreed.. and that was about it. She just needs to learn!

Re: Would you be mad? (Bridal Party Related)

honestly i think at the age of 21 you should definitly know better! Her age is not an excuse shes 21 not 16.

Re: Would you be mad? (Bridal Party Related)

she shoudl know better but some people are just dumb when it comes to etiquette.

Re: Would you be mad? (Bridal Party Related)

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Posted by Future Mrs.

I am ashamed to admit this.....but LET IT GO. She is soooo young....she has no experience, and you must let it go.
I cannot eve ntell you how many tabboo pheaux pas I made when I was that age....I just didn't know any better, and nobody pointed it out to me. your MIL should have told/mentored her through it.....no she shouldn't know better.....
Let it go......you have a whole lifetime of happy events that she will buy you gifts for.

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In all honesty - I don't think I would go this route. When my sister got married almost 9 years ago, I was 17 and her MOH. I worked extra hours at my retail job and bought her what I could and did what I could for her, even though it wasn't much. I think at 21, you know what is involved with being in a wedding...especially with gifts for a bridal shower and an actual wedding gift.

I dont think that she should be landblasted, but at least have her explain maybe why she didn't do anything. I agree that maybe your DH should just hint around it and see if she says anything, even if it's just to say - 'hey - I was going through the cards the other day and realized I didn't have one from you' basically making it sound like maybe she had forgotten to put it in, or maybe that it got lost, just in case...JMHO

Re: Would you be mad? (Bridal Party Related)

Young, yes. Excusable, No. If noone tells her she may not know, but someone should mention wedding ettiqute to her. Your DH should put it to er like we are family, but don't EVER do that to a friend. If DH doesn't want the job, then I would let it go.

Re: Would you be mad? (Bridal Party Related)

I would be annoyed.

I don't even think it's the fact that you didn't get a present, but she didn't even so much as give you a card. She's young--yes, but she's not so young as to be that thoughtless.

Re: Would you be mad? (Bridal Party Related)

It had nothing to do with money and everything to do with responsibility. Obviously she still sees herself as a child, lumped in on her parent's gift to you and DH

And I would say that you really shouldn't say anything either. If you did it would embarrass her and undoubtedly make ILs angry... and they would probably respond by saying that she was included in their gift... which would embarrass you.... vicious cycle.

You have a whole lifetime with DH to get gifts from her. Gotta let this one go.

HTH

Re: Would you be mad? (Bridal Party Related)

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Posted by Future Mrs.

I am ashamed to admit this.....but LET IT GO. She is soooo young....she has no experience, and you must let it go.
I cannot eve ntell you how many tabboo pheaux pas I made when I was that age....I just didn't know any better, and nobody pointed it out to me. your MIL should have told/mentored her through it.....no she shouldn't know better.....
Let it go......you have a whole lifetime of happy events that she will buy you gifts for.

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I agree with this. It stinks and is annoying but you can't be upset with her. She's probably never even been to a wedding before.

Re: Would you be mad? (Bridal Party Related)

21 is certainly not too young to know that you give gifts when you go to weddings and other events like that. I like the idea of telling her that you didn't see a card from her that way its not accusatory but still gets your point across.