Fight with FH - who's right?

I'll try to keep this short. I told FH to tell his family to come to the RH at 10 am for pictures next sunday. He told me that's too early, his family won't make it on time, we'll have to take pictures during the reception (nothing formal just go to their table and take pictures with them). Am I wrong to want to spend the whole time partying at my reception that I planned 2 years planning?! We're already seeing each other before the ceremony so we can get pictures out of the way and greet guests at our CH. I don't want to go around to the tables at the reception, I want to enjoy myself! Who's right because I always think I'm right, it's an illness.

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

It all depends on what time your ceremony is and if it is at the rh..Are you asking that everyone arrive more than an hour early ? How many pics are you looking to get and will it really take that much time from your reception ?

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

i think you're both right actually which makes NO sense. We took family pictures before but only parents and siblings... at our reception DH was like my mom wants us to take a picture with the aunts... fine but if we do it there we have to do all the other aunts. it annoyed me at first but in the end it was really only like 3 tables and took NO time.

so you're both right! [not a poll choice]

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

i would say you are lol but thats just because i felt the same way. we told everyone to be there before the ceremony around 4 for pictures whoever didnt show up which was only about 2-3 families we took one quick picture at the reception but i refused to take formal pictures at the reception because i wanted to dance.

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

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Posted by Kerin2804

It all depends on what time your ceremony is and if it is at the rh..Are you asking that everyone arrive more than an hour early ? How many pics are you looking to get and will it really take that much time from your reception ?

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Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

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Posted by snwb08

i think you're both right actually which makes NO sense. We took family pictures before but only parents and siblings... at our reception DH was like my mom wants us to take a picture with the aunts... fine but if we do it there we have to do all the other aunts. it annoyed me at first but in the end it was really only like 3 tables and took NO time.

so you're both right! [not a poll choice]

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Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

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Posted by jennandrolo

i would say you are lol but thats just because i felt the same way. we told everyone to be there before the ceremony around 4 for pictures whoever didnt show up which was only about 2-3 families we took one quick picture at the reception but i refused to take formal pictures at the reception because i wanted to dance.

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Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

I would say both!! Is there way to compromise the time? Maybe 11? What time is your ceremony?

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

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Posted by sweetdoublenn

I would say both!! Is there way to compromise the time? Maybe 11? What time is your ceremony?

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Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

Ooo than it has to be 10. I think they should make at least an effort..if not all can come then some? Would that work?

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

10 isn't early! i say just do it!

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

I think you are both right. We had a similar timeline and told family to come at 10am for pictures. My dad's step-mom didn't get the memo and booked a car service that wouldn't get her there until 11am. We did a quick shot with her before signing the ketubah, and had to get the extended family shot with her done in the bridal suite while we waited for the ceremony to begin.

Try to avoid taking as many pictures as possible during the reception. We did go back outside for a few BP shots we missed and shots of ourselves at the end of dinner, but why should YOU have to miss some of your reception to take pictures so that the extended fam can sleep in an extra 45 minutes?

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

I think that it's really unfair of you to ask his family to arrive early so that you can get photos out of the way so that you can party during your reception. While I understand why you would want to do this it is not very reasonable to expect that everyone will share your sentiments. And honestly if his family is that big I highly doubt they would all get there at 10 anyway so you would still have to take some of those family shots during cocktail hour or Reception. I don't think that you should be upset with FH about this.

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

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Posted by dante31300

I think that it's really unfair of you to ask his family to arrive early so that you can get photos out of the way so that you can party during your reception. While I understand why you would want to do this it is not very reasonable to expect that everyone will share your sentiments. And honestly if his family is that big I highly doubt they would all get there at 10 anyway so you would still have to take some of those family shots during cocktail hour or Reception. I don't think that you should be upset with FH about this.

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Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

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Posted by bluegreen08

I think you are both right. We had a similar timeline and told family to come at 10am for pictures. My dad's step-mom didn't get the memo and booked a car service that wouldn't get her there until 11am. We did a quick shot with her before signing the ketubah, and had to get the extended family shot with her done in the bridal suite while we waited for the ceremony to begin.

Try to avoid taking as many pictures as possible during the reception. We did go back outside for a few BP shots we missed and shots of ourselves at the end of dinner, but why should YOU have to miss some of your reception to take pictures so that the extended fam can sleep in an extra 45 minutes?

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Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

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Posted by sweetdoublenn

Ooo than it has to be 10. I think they should make at least an effort..if not all can come then some? Would that work?

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Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

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Posted by MikeandJess

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Posted by dante31300

I think that it's really unfair of you to ask his family to arrive early so that you can get photos out of the way so that you can party during your reception. While I understand why you would want to do this it is not very reasonable to expect that everyone will share your sentiments. And honestly if his family is that big I highly doubt they would all get there at 10 anyway so you would still have to take some of those family shots during cocktail hour or Reception. I don't think that you should be upset with FH about this.

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Well on the flip side my argument is that we don't get married EVERY Sunday, this not a request we make of these people all the time. They are all adults, who have no trouble getting to work at 9 a.m, why should they have trouble getting to my RH at 10?

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Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

we have to take pictures with our WHOLE families?!?!? What?

seriously though I didn't think I was doing this. The only people I thought we were taking pictures with like formal pictures was the bridal party, FH's mom dad brother and wife, and my siblings and grandmas and possibly my aunt and uncle and their 2 children (who are both in the bridal party) and my aunt/uncle and their 5 kids (since 3 out of 5 of them are in the BP as well) and they are good family friends of FH

I didn't plan on taking pictures with my aunts uncles cousins, great aunts etc. And I don't think FH did either. If we are walking around to tables during the Reception and my photographer is following i guess we can have him take a few...

so I AGREE WITH YOU haha in the case of if you want pics come early lol if not then dont come and if you get to them at the reception than fine if not than fine it's YOUR DAY !!!

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

How about during the cocktail hour?

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

I'm with you on this one Jess - one hour early is not too early!! It's not much to ask for - you want to be able to take your pics and then enjoy the party!

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

Taking pictures at the RH early might be a good option, I would have done that if I could but we had an event at our RH before ours and the RH could not accomidate our large family.

Seriously, right after the ceremony, it took over 40 minutes to take pictures of three sets of families (granted it was at least 40 people for each set of family members), so DH and I missed the CH, we go to go in for less than 5 minutes... then during the reception it took like 10 minutes to get people organized so that we could take pictures with our guests at each table. it really ate into the time and was a complete headache.
if we had known it was going to be like that, we would have tried to take pictures someplace else prior to the wedding with our family members

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

if the cer starts at 11:30 I dont think that is too early for them. You are right to want to enjoy ALLLLLL of your wedding, without wanting to use party time to take pics

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

I asked my family to get to the CH 30 minutes early for pictures -- grant it that is 7:00 pm but if I had a day wedding I would do the same thing.

It seems to me he doesn't want to ask because he knows they won' show up not that it is an inconvience to them. I am sure it won't be a big deal to do right after dinner but I am with you I just want them done with.

My photographer suggested that right as dinner was winding down having the dj ask all memebers of the "xxx family" come to the dance floor for a picture. They come out -- take a picture and then reopne the dance floor -- that is an option too!

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

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Posted by dante31300

Yes but the incentive to getting to work on time is that they get paid for that. Not saying that your wedding isn't important b/c it is. But they may feel that as long as they are there for ceremony and reception that this is sufficient. I could see making this request to the parents but I'm not sure I would feel ok with extending it to the rest of the family. I think table photos would work out great. Especially if you plan on going around to each table to say thank you and receive your cards. This way you would still be able to enjoy the partying portion of the wedding.

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Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

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Posted by MikeandJess

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Posted by bluegreen08

I think you are both right. We had a similar timeline and told family to come at 10am for pictures. My dad's step-mom didn't get the memo and booked a car service that wouldn't get her there until 11am. We did a quick shot with her before signing the ketubah, and had to get the extended family shot with her done in the bridal suite while we waited for the ceremony to begin.

Try to avoid taking as many pictures as possible during the reception. We did go back outside for a few BP shots we missed and shots of ourselves at the end of dinner, but why should YOU have to miss some of your reception to take pictures so that the extended fam can sleep in an extra 45 minutes?

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exactly! Can you call my FH and tell him this please?

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