My mother makes me crazy-Long vent

I don't normally vent but she's really making me crazy. She has not been involved in any of the planning at all. Now that its getting closer, she finds every opportunity to give her opinion but almost always to criticize something that has ben done and can't be changed. I am here at her house this morning to go shopping with her for her dress and to pick up my invitations. My invites have been at her house for two days. I get here and she hasn't even opened the box to see. Fine, I show them to her and she's like oh, they're nice. Fine. But then she goes off on this ridiculous tirade that I put the real reception time but bumped the ceremony time up by 1/2 hr. I only did that since she insisted and all her people are always late. She gets all upset and says oh now they won't come to the ceremony because the time is too long between the two and then they'll all come late to the reception. Why should I care about these people? Why does she care? and anyway its too late. Couldn't she just say the invites are pretty and call it a day. I'm just so frustrated. All she does is complain about my choices. She didn't come to any appts for anything. It took her a month to come to the salon to see my dress before I ordered it. I just wish she were more excited and interested. I'm her only daughter.
I'm sorry for the long vent, I'm really tired and frustrated. I'm working nights and am going without sleep to shop with her today so I'm just not in the mood for this.

Re: My mother makes me crazy-Long vent

I'm sorry your're going through this and I know it must hurt that your mom doesn't want to be more involved. Just remember that the relationship between mother and daughter is a complex one and she might be going through the "my only daughter is all grown up now" syndrome and distancing herself to deal....
this is just one reason and of course I don't know your mom. but I hope everything gets better.

Just tell your mom, I appreciate your advice, but the invites are done, and that is that!

Good Luck!

Re: My mother makes me crazy-Long vent

I am so sorry you are going through this. My mom gets on my nerves as well with this wedding.

Feel free to vent to us anytime.

Take a deep breathe and relax.

If you ever need a mom vent you can always FM me.

Re: My mother makes me crazy-Long vent

Thanks for the support. I feel better already, I think I just needed to get it out.

Re: My mother makes me crazy-Long vent

I know how it feels... my mom thinks she's helpful but when I try to show her what choices I've made all she does is spew negativity, without thinking that she's hurting my feelings. If that's the way she's going to be, you have to just try your hardest to let it roll b/c she won't change and if she's anything like my mom, she probably doesn't even realize how hurtful she is being. If you need to vent, you have my ear.

Re: My mother makes me crazy-Long vent

Tammy, I am so sorry you are going through this.

Why is it that people always have something to say about other ppls wedding?

I am learning to just ignore ppl and do thing s the way I want to do them.

Re: My mother makes me crazy-Long vent

Tammy, I am sorry. Sometimes Moms don't know the best way to be involved, and it comes out all wrong. Just stay true to yourself, and stand your ground, and let her know how you feel.
Otherwise, vent on, we're here for you.
And you know I will go with you ANYTIME.

Which btw, do you know when you want to get togther for your envelopes yet?
Liz

Re: My mother makes me crazy-Long vent

Vent away! I'm sorry you are having this problem - but I know I come here and vent and the girls here always make me feel better

Re: My mother makes me crazy-Long vent

I am sorry she is acting this way, I know it is easier said then done but let it all go in one ear and out the other. I know you want her to be involved but you don't need any extra stress.....it is your Wedding and planning it is supposed to be fun (I think)

Re: My mother makes me crazy-Long vent

Sorry you are ahving theseprobelms, but just try not to let her getto you, it is your day, and if you are happy with your decisions then everything will be fine, if she's not happy with them, then that is her problem.

Re: My mother makes me crazy-Long vent

tell her nicely when my mom gets like that I hang up on her and tell her she is making me cry

Re: My mother makes me crazy-Long vent

Thank you all for your support. It really helps, especially since I fought with my mom all day today. I am going to try my best to let it all go in one ear and out the other. I'm too old to have her make me cry, its a little ridiculous. I know she doesn't really mean to stress me out, she's just too **** blunt and opinionated.
Thanks for the vent, you ladies are the best

Liz, I'll call you in the morning, at a more reasonable hour.

Re: My mother makes me crazy-Long vent

I had a semi-similar situation as you. Whenever she criticized (mom), I would just smile and say "Well I LOVE it and am thrilled about it!" If she got too opinionated, I just told her that I didn't know what to tell her, but it's my wedding and WE wanted it that way. If she wanted something else, she should have one, I told her. Sorry you are upset, but you really have to not let your mom dampen your spirit! You must enjoy this time ! It's one of the few times in life that is truly "all about you" so enjoy it and keep your chin up!

Re: My mother makes me crazy-Long vent

You know, sometimes even the people that we asume that should be there always for us are not there ... try to look in other direction and don't let her opinions to make you sad. It is your day, not hers, keep that motto in your mind. Good luck!