How did you pick your Maid or Matron of Honor?

How did you all decide between people as your Maid or Matron of Honor? I have two girls who are both close to me. Part of me wants to have both of them have the high honor and since one is married she will be the Matron and the other the Maid. But whenever the potential Maid asks me about my bridal party decisions (I haven't announced yet) and I say maybe I will have her and the potential Matron both be '...of honor' she rolls her eyes a little and says things like 'oh, you're gonna have two'. I know she wants me to chose between her and my other friend and I don't want to choose. The single friend is competitve and has always been jealous of my friendship with the married friend. Does this mean I should ask the married friend only? Am I answering my own question? I am confused

Re: How did you pick your Maid or Matron of Honor?

I think you answered your own question! You want to have both so ask both!!! If your unmarried friend has a problem with that then it makes YOUR decision easier!!!! Then just have the married friend! I know so many girls who have had 2! Good luck

Re: How did you pick your Maid or Matron of Honor?

I think you should do what you want. I think it is okay to have both. Alot of people have both! However, I have been in weddings where the moh and matron do the rolling of the eyes ...sarcastic comments, etc. Are they 5years old? LOL In a wedding, someone always get there feelings hurt. You can't worry about everyone.

I chose my friend who we have been friends since high-school to be my mail OH and I had the same dilema for my Matron though. I m having seven girls in my bridal party and of those girls I have been maid of Honor in 4 of them. I am almost equally close to all of them. Plus, my SIL and FSIL are married and they would probably get feelings hurt. So, I decided not to have a Matron. Good Luck

Re: How did you pick your Maid or Matron of Honor?

there is no law as to how many MOH's you can have...I am not having any as I am equally close to all of my bridesmaids...
whatever you feel comfortable doing is fine...it's your day

Re: How did you pick your Maid or Matron of Honor?

By the way, I forgot to mention that having my doubts about picking my maid of honor. I'm from TX and I went to TX to visit my family. While I was there, I made several attempts to contact her, and I even spoke to her boyfriend and invited over to my parents home. Did I ever get a return phone call while I was there? NO!! I was very hurt. My FH says I should evaluate our friendship. Why did she say yes to be in my moh? If it were the other way around, I would be there on her front porch!

Re: How did you pick your Maid or Matron of Honor?

Watch out for jealous BMs! I kind of had it easy because I just picked my sister and couldn't imagine it any other way, but I also think there is nothing wrong with having no MOH, two MOHs or heck, make them all MOHs! To me, it sounds like you're leaning towards your married friend. Anyone who has the guts to even bat an eyelash at any of your decisions about your BP is going to have a lot to say when it comes to dresses, shoes, etc. Think about how this one friend will play out in the rest of the process. She should be honored that you want her in your BP at all, and that is not quite what it sounds like she is. JMO. Good Luck!

Re: How did you pick your Maid or Matron of Honor?

You are so right about my single friend being the potential complainer about dresses etc. She is already asking what I want and when I said either pink or sage green, she said 'oh, that's nice' (like it wasn't what she envisioned). I love her dearly but part of the reason she will be a bridesmaid is because I think it is better to control her this way. She is the type of person who will take this job seriously because she likes to be in control, but if she wasn't included in the wedding, I think I would be worried about how she would behave and what she would wear etc. She will be a good bridesmaid there is no question there, but whether or not I want her to be a Maid of Honor is a different story. We'll see. Any more opinions? Should I make her a co-lady of honor or just a bridesmaid?

Re: How did you pick your Maid or Matron of Honor?

I think there is no problem with having two. But, from what you've said I think that if you choose the two of them its b/c you feel you have to ask the single one. It seems that you really want the married one for all of the right reasons. In the end do what makes you happier!

Re: How did you pick your Maid or Matron of Honor?

Maybe I will just ask them both to be bridesmaids and make the official Maid/Matron decision later. Any other opinions?

Re: How did you pick your Maid or Matron of Honor?

I think you should ask both.

Re: How did you pick your Maid or Matron of Honor?

It was easy-she's been my best friend since I was 5! You should have both. If the single friend doesn't like it, she can step down. It's perfectly normal to have both a maid and matron of honor.

Re: How did you pick your Maid or Matron of Honor?

I had two MOH and BM also. We did nt care what anyone else thought. This is our wedding, not our familys or friends wedding. Do what you feel is right.

Re: How did you pick your Maid or Matron of Honor?

I have 2 MOH & sometimes one (the one I've been friends with longer) will get a little jealous, but I have 2 MOH because thats the way I wanted it & I would never change it.

Re: How did you pick your Maid or Matron of Honor?

I picked my MOH based upon a woman who would do anything for me, and always has, a woman who is kind, loving, giving & will be my friend always.

Re: How did you pick your Maid or Matron of Honor?

To be quite honest, I didnt' have anyone else to ask, so I asked FSIL to be MOH. Besides, it seemed like a nice gesture - I'd like us to be closer friends (she lives out of state anyway!)

Re: How did you pick your Maid or Matron of Honor?

Have both. My friend has 2 and it was very nice. So many people do it nowadays. Better that, than hurt somebody's feelings since you seem so torn. JMO

Re: How did you pick your Maid or Matron of Honor?

I also think you should ask both. I'm also having two and I'm really glad that I am. I couldn't deal with one or the other being offended even though neither would have admitted it. But different people have different relationships with each other and if they both play a major part in your life than they should both be honored to stand by your side.

Re: How did you pick your Maid or Matron of Honor?

I too think you answered your own question. And it's not right for the single friend to make you chose. That would put me off and not even want to have her in the party, but that's just me.

I chose between my sister and my best friend of 16 years. It was hard, but I chose my sister. We weren't always close, but recently we have bonded, and it just really meant something to me to have her as MOH. But I cleared it with my BF first. She was fine with it because it was my sister, and as long she gets to sit the next closest to me at the reception (she is still a BM)

Re: How did you pick your Maid or Matron of Honor?

I think your second post definitley answered your own question. This girl does not sound like MOH material to me!

Re: How did you pick your Maid or Matron of Honor?

If you envision your wedding with both of them in the role of honor attendant, then that is what you should do. My sister had both a maid (me) and matron of honor - there's no right or wrong. I'm just having my sister as MOH, but that's b/c I have more close male than female friends, not b/c I won't have both if there was someone else I wanted in the role. If your single friend doesn't like it, it is her choice to decline. Girls can be so hard to deal with sometimes - guys are so much more laid back when it comes to this stuff!! It's your day - you should do what makes you happy.